Pour Toi
by lavira.rose
Summary: Rev!KevEdd "Stop it!" he gasps and blushes hotter at the sound of his own voice it's so high. "You said you'd stop!" Edd hums, lips slightly upturned with suppressed amusement. "I apologized, I never said I'd stop." In which Edd is bad at flirting and Kevin is bad at admitting his feelings but they'll figure it out eventually. Valentine's fluff, Nazzarie, bullying. Now M for lang
1. Chapter 1

**Pour Toi:** Chapter One

Oddly enough, it begins with that hat.

"I'm so fucking tired of his shit!" Nazz seethes as she slams her books on the table across from Kevin. He looks up from his textbook on engineering and raises an eyebrow, signaling her to continue and she does so eagerly. "So, who do I run into on the way to school today? Not only Double D and his little gang but Sarah."

Immediately Kevin's stomach twists uncomfortably, which is pretty pathetic when you think about it. Although Eddward Vincent, otherwise known as Double D, has never physically hurt Kevin, his friends certainly have and he does go out of his way to make the boy's life a living hell.

Kevin has always been the subject of bullying but never anything quite like this: no groping or ordering him around the way Edd does, mostly beating him up or stealing his homework. Edd is another class of harasser, however; he likes mindgames and uses words like other boys use weapons. He's actually smart - brilliant, really - and his intelligence makes Kevin feel like he's one big experiment to the boy, like a puppet and Edd has all of the strings.

He's never outright vicious to Kevin, never even really mean, more teasing and condescending but that's somehow much worse. At least with the other bullies Kevin knows what to expect, knows how to respond, but he never knows with Edd.

Kevin looks at his friend closer, takes note of the slight smear of mascara under her eyes and the messiness of her hair. His chest tightens. "Shit, Nazz… Did she fight you or something?"

Nazz sniffs, slightly indignant, but Kevin sees right through it. Maybe they didn't brawl but girls can cut deeper with words than even Plank can manage with his fists. He watches the movement of her throat as she gulps and the swell of water at the corner of her eyes.

Kevin puts up with a lot of shit but he can't sit back and watch someone hurt his friends - especially when she's not only his best friend but the girl he's been crushing on as of late.

He takes a shaking breath through his nose, jaw clenched and fists shaking with restrained rage. "This is too much," he growls closing the textbook.

She takes her seat across from him but doesn't meet his eyes. It hurts to see her like this, her brightness dulled by stress and fear. Her teeth abuse her already dry lips. "We should get payback."

He scoffs.

"We should!"

"And how do you propose we do that?"

She sighs.

"That's what I thought."

Nazz huffs and suddenly bites through the skin on her lip so that a drop of blood surfaces. Kevin becomes distracted as her tongue flickers out to catch up the blood and feels his stomach drop. Blushing, he grits his teeth.

"I wasn't supposed to… tell anyone," she says lowly and he shifts uncomfortably. Suddenly Kevin is very afraid that she's been hurt worse than she lets on. "You know how I'm friends with Marie?"

"Of course - clarinet girl," he replies, referring to the instrument she plays in band.

"Also, Edd's best and perhaps _only_ friend."

That certainly catches his attention. "I'm listening."

"Well… one time this came up - I'm not sure how - but apparently he wears that hat for a reason."

"Shit, what do you mean?"

"I'm not sure. Marie said that-" she twists her lips in frustration. "I don't know how to explain it. She was extremely vague. It's like - I can't tell if he's hiding something or if it's like… a security blanket, or something equally stupid."

"Hiding something?" Kevin repeats.

She only shrugs. Kevin pushes it out of his mind for the time being.

Kevin pushes his glasses up his nose almost violently and rips a page out of his nearby notebook. "Okay, doesn't matter either way, we're going to do this."

As soon as the bell rings, Edd darts from class and heads for the pool, ignoring his gang and even Marie. On Wednesday, the pool is only left open until 4:30, leaving him with little time to get his practice in so it's important that he gets there as quickly as possible.

The changing room is empty when he gets there, as it usually is on weekdays. Edd slips out of his clothes and into his suit, not even caring to hide as he usually does. He's grown comfortable here after so many years, it's more of a home to him than anywhere else in the world. He doesn't even bother closing his locker, the label on it, "Property of DD", is more than enough to keep others away.

When he opens the door to the pool, the smell of chlorine hits him and he lets out all of the tension in his shoulders. Home - it's truly his home.

An hour after Edward gets in, Kevin returns from his house and approaches the indoor pool. Kevin watches the taller boy from the window, surprised the usually vigilant shark doesn't notice him. It seems like Edd always has his eye on Kevin. Somehow he knows all of the other boy's habits and even memorizes his classes every year so he can catch Kevin in the halls. There's never a day when Edd doesn't harass Kevin, even if it means he has to go out of his way to do it.

Kevin clenches his teeth thinking back to Edd's bullying today. He hadn't been very bad but Kevin still found himself pinned to his locker with Edd looming over him, entrapping him with his arms. He hadn't even wanted anything, not really. He asked Kevin what he was planning for the science fair coming up in April, just because he likes to scope out the competition, and then he teased him about the Valentine's Dance which is fast approaching.

Kevin's nonexistent love life is a favorite topic of Edd's, probably because it gets under Kevin's skin so easily. It's Kevin's fault for being so painfully transparent but he can't help it. He'd make himself feel better by thinking about Eddward's equally nonexistent love life but it would only him feel stupid considering Edd has girls all over him, meaning he's single by choice.

Sighing at his own thoughts, Kevin focuses once more on Edd. The other boy is in his element, it's written all over his face: focused and confident. When he's like this it's easy to see why all of Peach Creek is desperately in love with him.

"Hey!"

Kevin jerks his head away, face flushed. "Nazz, you got it?"

Nazz holds up the school paper's camera with a wicked grin, the tripod that goes with it in her other hand. Being a nerd certainly has its perks.

"You go snatch the hat, I'll distract him. Then when he gets out and finds his hat gone I'll be there to take a picture of him without it."

Kevin's stomach flutters with excitement and nerves. "And if he just wears a towel on his head - I mean, if he is hiding something-"

"I'll need you to rip it off."

"Okay," Kevin breathes, doing his best to steel himself. "Are you sure you want to be a part of this?"

Nazz rolls her eyes. "Duh! Now go in there! He'll be getting out in less than thirty minutes!"

Kevin slips into the room first, doing his best to hide as he slinks to the changing room. Luckily, Edd is too engulfed in his practice to notice either of them. Before he goes, Kevin looks back to Nazz who simply winks at him. It's not reassuring at all.

Nazz takes a deep breath and turns to the pool. She sets up the tripod and begins to angle the camera just as Eddward finishes his lap, emerging from the water with such grace it makes her stare. Asshole or not, he's one hell of a talented athlete and handsome to boot.

It occurs to her that he really never goes without his head completely covered; even when swimming he always has a swim cap on. "What a freak…" she mutters and opens the camera.

Edd slips his goggles off to hang around his neck and eyes her, looking every bit the vicious shark. "To what do I owe the pleasure?" he grouses, lip curled.

Edd and Nazz used to be friends but that was a long time ago; now they just put up with each other for Marie's sake, otherwise he reminds Nazz every chance he gets just how much he hates her.

"Unfortunately I've been asked to write an article about you for the school newspaper," she sighs, doing her best to sound uninterested.

"Oh really?" he chuckles and smirks viciously.

"Yes," she grits back, daring to meet his eyes. They glare at each other for a moment until she eventually looks away, feeling embarrassed to give in first but also not interested in bickering. "Now, if you will, please continue swimming."

He narrows his eyes slightly but doesn't object, instead slipping beneath the water.

There's something about his movements that is unnatural - it's the reason why they call him a shark, afterall. He's so lithe and swift that Nazz finds herself simply watching for a moment before actually taking some shots.

Glancing at the clock she sees there's 15 minutes before they get kicked out by the swim coach. She keeps herself from looking at the door to avoid alerting him but it's hard.

Kevin is about to puke when he finds Edd's locker. It's obviously easy due to the label on it.

He's actually shocked to find it slightly open and no lock in sight. Somehow he feels as if this is all a trick, like Edd knows exactly what he's doing right now and has set it all up - a test.

Glancing over his shoulder and then at his watch, Kevin turns to the locker and hesitantly opens it, flinching violently when it squeaks. Inside rests Edd's neatly folded clothes and, at the top of the pile, his hat.

Kevin's stomach roils and his mouth dries. Picking up the hat, his arms feel like complete led. He just about comes out of his skin when something falls from the hat, hitting his feet. It's Edd's dog tags. The same dog tags the quarterback once tried to steal from him, earning a concussion for his trouble. Cursing (and practically shaking), Kevin scrabbles to pick up the necklace and shoves it back in Double D's locker.

He may be playing with fire by stealing Eddward's hat but he isn't suicidal.

Kevin needs to get out and get out now. Time is running out and Edd will have to get out of here before 4:30, which is fast approaching.

Edd finally climbs from the pool and Nazz makes a show of snapping some more pictures. "Can you smile…?" Nazz asks warily. "Like, _actually_ smile?"

Edd chuckles, the insincere smile he wears is half scowl, half smirk. "I already am."

Nazz groans. What an absolute prick. "Fine…"

After a couple more, Edd rolls his eyes and turns to snatch up his towel from the nearby bench. "Okay, that's enough."

"Come on, just a few more."

Eddward shoots her a sharp look. "I'm done."

Nazz gulps and begins to shut down the camera, staring as he heads to the door. "Um… Edd?"

He rolls his eyes, stopping halfway between her and the changing room. "What?" he bites.

"Uh… is Marie…" Nazz's face flushes violently and Edd chuckles.

"Say no more," he sighs, putting her out of her misery, if only for Marie's sake. "She's very single… not to mention bisexual."

The shock on Nazz's face makes him grin wolfishly before turning again.

"Ah- th-thank you!" she says hurriedly, too alarmed to realize what she's saying. Immediately she winces. "Eddward..." She slaps her hands over her eyes at her own stupidity.

He waves his hand to shut her up and enters the changing room.

Poor Kevin just about has a heart attack when he hears the door and quickly hides in one of the bathroom stalls across from the lockers, specifically choosing the one built to accommodate the disabled so he can crouch on the stool within it. Quietly pulling the curtain closed, Kevin makes sure he leaves just enough of a crack to watch.

Kevin jerks away when he realizes that Edd is heading first to the shower and nearly falls when Edd enters the stall right next to him. The rattling of the curtains sends a shock straight to his heart.

He listens intently as the water clicks on, the force of the spray so strong that it hits the floor and ricochets up to splatter along Kevin's pants. He lets out a soft huff of breath, unafraid of Edd hearing him over the sound of water against tile.

Looking down at the hat, Kevin rolls his eyes slightly. It's pretty pathetic for the most feared bully in the school to have a fucking hat for a security blanket (although it's also pretty stupid for his right hand man to carry around a piece of wood that serves as his imaginary friend).

Fingering the edges of the fabric, he almost laughs when he realizes there are bobby pins slipped along both sides.

What a… dork. Jeez.

He considers taking this chance to run for it, but he needs to stay. If things go south, at least seeing whatever may be beneath Double D's hat could serve as blackmail material.

Kevin actually feels warm at the thought of Eddward being under his control. Sure Edd has never really beaten him up and he's certainly never touched Nazz but he doesn't stop his friends from doing so and, honestly, his psychological games might be even worse.

He thinks back to their freshman year when even Nazz had a crush on him and, like the dick he is, Double D used it to his advantage in every way. They never actually dated or anything of the sort but Nazz, the girl Kevin has known since they were kids and loved for years, had become a totally different person.

Marie is the only reason she returned to normal, he thinks. They met through Edd and Marie brought Nazz back to reality. Now, they never talk about that period when her clothing changed, she pretended to like absolutely vile music and acted like a puppy, following Edd and hanging on his every word.

The water shuts off quickly and Kevin blinks, leaning so he can see through the space between the curtain and wall but he doesn't get too close, instead hanging slightly back. The first thing he sees is Edd's bare ass and he nearly chokes on air, quickly averting his gaze, but when he looks again he spots thin black hair, still dripping wet.

There's nothing particularly strange about Edd's hair at all and Kevin wants to smack himself. Obviously the hat is just another obsessive quirk, like so many other things about Edd.

Kevin is about to look away when Edd turns and, brushing his hair aside, a scar becomes visible. It's nothing horrific but strange nonetheless. It's small, hardly noticeable really, just a circle of silvery, taut skin on his temple. Just when he thinks that's all, Edd brings a towel to his hair drawing it back so Kevin can see the feathery marks across his forehead, curving from just above his right brow and inching up into his hairline so that it is lopsided in the oddest way. If Edd hadn't pulled his hair back the way he had, Kevin would have thought it was simply how it naturally lays.

Kevin suddenly feels… guilty. But it only lasts the briefest of moments. Any regret or shame is quickly replaced with the sick pleasure of vengeance. Or at least that's what Kevin tries to tell himself.

The dick probably got those in a fight or something equally cruel - for the other person, that is.

Edd deserved it. Probably.

Biting his lips harshly, Kevin twists the soft hat between his hands. It smells like baby soap for Christ's sake and it has a little tag in it with "Edd" stitched neatly onto it, old and worn. As ridiculous as it is, Kevin can suddenly picture Edd's mother stitching it there, years ago.

God, what has he done?

Even if Double D is a complete and utter bastard, Kevin can't just stoop to his level this way.

Suddenly, he feels like bolting but he's completely frozen, not with fear but this terrible, gut-wrenching embarrassment at his actions. He's so ashamed that his cheeks heat up and if he weren't such a coward he would go out there right now and apologize.

But he is a coward. And Eddward is vicious. Kevin stays where he is.

He lets his eyes fall only to quickly look back up when he catches Edd's genitals again, face aflame. Such a bad idea.

Edd looks much more _delicate_ like this. His olive skin is so much more pale in the harsh lights and his blue eyes soft, his mouth and shoulders relaxed.

Oh fuck, there are more scars. One, a soft curl on his hip and another that stretches like lightning across his front, right from the harsh edge of his hipbone towards his genitals - fuck, Kevin did not just look at Double fucking D's dick. He softly presses the heels of his palms to his eyes.

There's that telltale squeak of Double D's locker. Kevin feels his chest conflict violently and squirms back, clenching the hat to his chest.

There's a long moment of silence. Rummaging, the shifting of fabric and knuckles knocking haphazardly against metal.

Kevin doesn't breathe but it doesn't matter as he's convinced his heart is beating so fucking hard he's sure Edd can hear it.

Edd growls lowly. "That…"

 _Bitch_ hangs in the air, more vicious and vile than if he had actually said it. Kevin's stomach drops like a fucking rock.

The slamming of metal and the inhuman noise of fury from Edd makes Kevin jerk back slightly, biting through the skin of his lip. The sudden burst of heat and iron in his mouth makes him even more nauseous.

"Kevin, I know you are in here," he grits out, his voice shaking with so much restrained rage that Kevin is tempted to curl up and never leave the spot he's in.

He's never heard Double D so fucking angry - that's part of what makes him intimidating: he never gets truly angry, he remains emotionally distant and pokes and prods like it's all one big experiment.

"If you are as smart as I've been led to believe, you will return my property immediately."

Shaking slightly, Kevin lets his feet meet the floor. Edd doesn't give him the chance to come out himself, the taller boy tears the curtain back and plants himself in front of Kevin's frozen form. Kevin breathes an internal sigh of relief at the sight of the towel around Edd's hips before Double D grabs him by his collar, picking him up and slamming him into the wall. Head hitting tile, Kevin's vision whites and his stomach lurches with the pain.

"I'm sorry!" Kevin yelps, almost crying he feels so afraid and guilty. "I didn't- I didn't-"

"Didn't what?" Edd barks. His thumbs press dangerously close to Kevin's throat and the boy gasps violently. Edd leans into his face so close he can see his scar in gorey detail, painful and thick cuts, yet it's somehow - _elegant_. From this angle, the one on his temple is not visible but Kevin somehow feels hyper-aware of its presence. "Stop looking at it!" Edd nearly roars. His voice is taught and high with nerves, with fear - God, that is _fear_ in Eddward Vincent's eyes.

Kevin gasps somehow more afraid now than ever before, so much so that he's seriously about to piss himself.

"I'm sorry!" Kevin croaks, overwhelmed by the smell of Edd's skin, of his soap and the chlorine from the pool. "I'm sorry, Edd! Fuck! I didn't know! I- I was just- Nazz was so upset this morning, and- listen, beat the fuck out of me but don't lay a hand on her, please!"

"I don't hit women," Double D bites. "And I don't make a habit of hitting anyone, even…" he visibly clenches his teeth so hard Kevin thinks it must ache. The oddly straightlaced bully doesn't curse, once he actually hit Kevin's hand with a ruler for saying "shit" in his presence he's so anal about it, but Kevin can see the vicious words rising to his tongue.

Kevin starts to choke, Edd's grasp becoming too much as his thumbs slip from Kevin's collarbones to the delicate flesh of his neck. The smaller boy has to grab Edd's wrists, fighting to pull them away, to pull himself up or back or anything because the look on Edd's face right now is actually the most horrific thing he's ever seen and his eyes are- holy fuck.

Eddward Double D Vincent is on the verge of tears.

"Edd-" Kevin gasps, eyes like saucers.

Edd drops him and snatches his hat from Kevin's shaking hand before jerking it over his head. Kevin watches numbly as Edd takes a moment to remove the bobby pins just to put them back in, attaching hat to hair. They sort of stare each other down through the whole ordeal, Kevin blushing and well, fuck, so is Edd.

Finally, Double D sniffs haughtily, turning away and stalking to the locker to jerk it open once more. He pulls on his dog tags roughly and then his shirt, somehow keeping his hat on perfectly throughout the whole ordeal (Kevin assumes it's the work of the bobby pins). He glances back at Kevin, who is still standing stock still right where he left him, before removing his towel and setting it on the bench next to his suit. Kevin feels his face burning but he keeps his eyes locked with Edd's.

This is normal, after all. All normal. They're just two guys in the men's locker room. This is normal.

So, Kevin may have left something out earlier.

Nazz wasn't the only one with a crush. But that was three years ago, long before Kevin realized what an ass Eddward is - a jerk, he means, not an ass; stop thinking about it. Fuck, all he can think about is Edd's body. And that's how it started in the first place: all he saw was a suave athlete, so handsome and with such a cute smile (the gap really got him). Plus how Edd could somehow juggle competitive swimming and AP classes straight out of middle school made Kevin just about swoon. To top it all off, there was something so attractive about his quiet, aloof nature, something about it that drew Kevin in yet kept him distant.

And then Edd seemed to take notice of him, too, but in all the wrong ways.

The point is, jerk or not, Kevin still finds Edd painfully attractive. Once he lusted after Eddward's beauty but now it's simple jealousy. Never has he seen a person like Edd, at least not in real life, maybe on television. So dark and sleek… elegant. He's elegant, that's the only word for it.

The people around Peach Creek just aren't like Edd. They aren't educated, they aren't as well off, and they certainly aren't elegant by any means. It only makes sense that Kevin, like the rest of town, hate and love him in equal measure.

Edd pulls on his jeans and takes a seat to begin putting on his Vans. "Kevin," he begins and the other boy jumps, blushing violently when he realizes he's been staring. "If you ever… _ever_ tell anyone what you saw-"

"I'd never," he says quickly, voice rough around the edges and deeper than usual. "I mean it… I'm really, terribly sorry for this… I…"

"Stop," Edd bites. "I don't give-" he chokes on the curse and his lithe fingers fumble with his laces.

Kevin's heart jerks. "Edd, I'm not saying it out of pity, but out of empathy."

Edd looks up at him slowly, his eyes uncharacteristically dark and unreadable. As vicious as Double D looks on a regular basis, with those heavy eyes and dark circles, his blue eyes are always alight. Kevin used to believe it was a physical manifestation of the other boy's wit, how bright and quick his eyes are despite the heavy, aloof nature that characterizes the rest of his being.

For whatever reason, Kevin's mind dredges up the image of Eddward when the two won the science fair together. Yes, together.

Eddward had forced Kevin to team up with him and even manipulated his way into Kevin's house a few times during their partnership. That had been hell on Kevin, it made him sick and nervous for weeks with the other boy just popping in, but in the end it had been one of the best experiences of his life.

They had built a small engine all by themselves using junk Edd had collected from the old dump and Kevin's father's tools from the car shop he works at. It had been the greatest moment of Kevin's life when it finally came to fruition. The feeling of finishing something so amazing that he had helped make with his own two hands, something so _powerful_ , is indescribable.

And when they took first place Edd had looked to him with those eyes, eyes as blue as the sea, suddenly alight and alive, the most beautiful thing Kevin has ever seen. He had been too shocked by the emotion in Edd's eyes to even move yet when Edd was given the trophy, instead of giving Kevin the gloating smirk he expected, Double D had pressed it into Kevin's hands. "Yours," he had said and his smile was goofy and-

"Why would you do this?"

Kevin lets out a huff of air through his nose and leans away, not having realized he had inched closer in the first place. "I… don't you know?" he mutters. Guilt is eating away at his stomach and he has never felt more ashamed of himself.

He tries to think about all the times Edd has been a dick to him but the memories just don't come to him.

The taller boy ties his shoe with a flourish before rises to his feet, lips twisting into a scowl. He's shaking again, fists clenched. Kevin wishes he would just finish getting dressed and go. "How the hell would I know? I just helped your friend with her fucking article and her stupid fucking relationship problems just to-"

"It's because you've been a dick to us for years!" Kevin spits out, suddenly feeling defensive for no good reason. And it's true, Edd has been cruel. Even if his memory is failing him now, Edd has most definitely been a bastard to him.

Eddward moves to grab him and Kevin twists back and away from the wall just to have his legs hit the chair hard, sending him back into it. Gripping the handles in the shower, he gulps, left with nowhere to run.

"How the fuck have I ever been a dick to you, _Pumpkin_?"

"All of the harassment! The names!"

"What harassment?" Edd nearly roars. "How the fuck have I harassed you?"

"Cornering me every goddamn week and-and putting the- those fucking _labels_ on me like I'm a piece of your property!" he cries and suddenly everything is spilling forth - every slight, every fear rushing back to him. "Fuck, there was one time you let me go around all day with one of those damn things on my back that read 'Property of DD' just like your fucking locker! That was the most humiliating day of my _life_!" Kevin bites, his voice now shaking with suppressed tears and his knuckles white.

Edd draws back slightly, eyes wide.

"The entire school was laughing at me until Nazz finally saw it and helped me out! I was called your 'girlfriend' for fucking months because of that, you asshole!"

"Kevin-"

"Or how about the time you stole my lunch for an entire semester!" he adds suddenly, his mouth now taking on a mind of its own.

"You- _you said I could have it_!" Edd cries, suddenly shocked. "And it's not like I took it all- just, like, your ice cream or some fries-"

"It was a hell of a lot more than that!"

"Language!" he gasps, suddenly aghast.

"And I let you," Kevin snaps, "because I was scared! You once broke fucking James Reagan's nose for no reason! James Reagan! The captain of the football team, the guy who is even bigger and badder than you, the same asshole who almost managed to break my nose the day before - that's fucking terrifying!"

"Are you really this ignorant?" Double D scoffs. His face is turning red with frustration and it makes the soft white lines of his scars stand out harshly in contrast; Kevin can see the soft indent and the ragged edges of the circular scar on his temple now. "Do you even hear yourself? No reason? _No reason_!"

Edd looms over Kevin who does his best to shrink. Edd simply stands there for a moment, breathing heavily, his eyes dark and wide.

Feeling wicked and hurt, Kevin croaks, "Why then?"

"For you, idiot…" Edd murmurs so softly that it takes Kevin a moment to make sure he actually heard him right.

" _What_?"

"An eye for an eye!" Edd barks. "There's a fucking reason I put my name on your back, dumbass! Tell me, did anyone touch you that day? Did anyone touch you that week? Has anyone really bothered you since that imbecile Reagan?"

A terrible sinking feeling begins in Kevin's stomach and the shaking starts anew. "You…"

"Yes, yes _me_."

Kevin suddenly can't meet his eyes. His head aches and his stomach flips, his vision suddenly so white and oh fuck. He jerks forward, shoving Edd back, and pukes in the middle of the floor.

Edd makes a high, almost feminine noise in the back of his throat and skitters back. " _Pumpkin_ -"

Nauseous and disoriented, Kevin heaves again before shuddering and raising himself up to look at Double D - Double fucking D who looks all worried and soft around the edges. "Oh my god…" Kevin groans. "This isn't-"

Suddenly Edd is standing over him again and he tries to pull away but Double D's hands are gentle - if in a hesitant, unpracticed way. Edd picks him up like he's a kitten, slipping his large hands under his arms and depositing him on the other side of the mess. The action makes Kevin's stomach flutter and his heart quake pleasantly, too tired to be uncomfortable or even afraid.

"Sit," he orders but there's still a gentleness to him, to his voice and his demeanor. When Kevin hesitates, Edd presses a hand to his shoulder, guiding him down to the bench, in a way that could almost be described as tender.

With that taken care of, his attention returns to the vomit. "Messy, messy, messy…" he twitters and Kevin can only watch, feeling as if he's Alice falling down the rabbit hole the whole situation is so surreal. His head is foggy, feels like it's stuffed with cotton, so some of the questions and fears that he should be bothering him fade to the background.

As he watches Edd lean in and turn on the shower to wash the mess away he can't help but think over his words.

All of the times he's felt afraid or hurt are reanalyzed. How Edd used to try to get him to team up in physics or math so relentlessly that Kevin felt he was going to be decked if he were to refuse suddenly seem much more innocent.

God, had he blown every instance out of proportion? Those wolfish grins he once could remember so clearly now seem more friendly yet that can't be, can it? Kevin surely hadn't misread the entire thing.

He felt threatened. Afraid. And he did for a reason.

Then there was a week in which Edd would walk into class and past Kevin with a wink, stealing his bag from the floor (or from under his seat or under Nazz's seat or even right out from under Kevin when he had attempted to sit on it to stop Edd) to take it to the back of the room where Edd always insisted on sitting and set it in the chair in front of his own. Edd would grin like a wolf and pat Kevin's backpack, trying to draw him back there where Plank and Jonny lurked with vicious grins. Nazz wouldn't let him give in and join them but he'd be forced to trek all the way to the back of the class, his peers snickering around him, to convince Edd to return his bag.

What about the homework? Edd had first began stealing Kevin's homework late freshman year but here's the thing: he wouldn't keep it or even copy it, instead Edd would return it just before Kevin had the class in which the homework was due with notes and corrections written all over it in neat, dare he say beautiful, cursive. And this had become an almost daily ordeal, one that still occurs.

It always felt humiliating but now Kevin can't help but think about all of the times Eddward literally saved his grade.

Even before now, each time Edd returned his papers with "Good job, Pumkin: A+" or "Quite impressive" (once, written in Eddward Vincent's delicate cursive were the words "Your ability to solve such complex calculus equations at your age is sincerely sexy" and because it was written in bright red ink poor Kevin couldn't remove it; he swears Mrs. Hall still gives him strange looks) it made Kevin's chest swell with pride despite the twisted circumstances.

He groans softly, reconsidering the meaning of those notes Edd presses to his crotch on a weekly basis: "I can't do it without you", "Be my date?", or "I'll make it worth your while". He couldn't be… serious? Kevin can't help but make a derisive noise in the back of his throat.

That's still bullying, no matter what Edd tries to say.

Hell, this is probably just another mind game.

Kevin glares at the back of his head weakly, the nausea finally fading, as Edd turns the shower off once more. Turning to Kevin, the taller boy scowls slightly. "Are you ill or simply… stressed?"

"Stressed, I think," Kevin mutters.

Edd has never looked so pale and beautiful than he does in that moment, with his damp eyes the color of the pool and his hair curling softly against his cheekbones, and it _hurts_ \- it hurts to look at him. Kevin drops his head again, a wave of nausea overcoming him once more.

The door suddenly opens and Kevin jumps, slamming his hand on the metal bench. He clutches it to his chest with a hiss.

"You okay there?" the swim coach asks, peering at Kevin with confusion and concern mingling in his eyes. Coach Madison has always seemed somewhat confused by Kevin's presence around the swim team, not to mention Edd's infatuation with him, at least from what Kevin can tell.

"Yeah, we're fine, Coach," Edd replies with an easy smile and his ability to hide the tears that were just on the brink of spilling, the rage that had been bubbling beneath his mask, and his slight confusion makes Kevin scared. How can he hide his emotions with such ease? It almost feels like a lie. "Kevin here is feeling ill so I'm going to take him home."

The man hums as Kevin's eyes widen, wondering if Edd means it or is just trying to get Mr. Madison to leave. "Well, don't tell anybody but I'm going to shove off myself. Can you…?"

Edd laughs and it's beautiful; it's terrible. "Of course, Mr. Madison."

The coach throws him something - oh, the keys, Kevin thinks with another strange twinge in his chest. "There's a little lady from the school paper out here waiting on you two; seems pretty concerned."

"Don't worry, we'll get going in a second. I just want to make sure he's not going to get carsick."

Mr. Madison hums again. "Good work today, Vincent. Didn't think your butterfly stroke could get any better but it sure as hell has. You'll be in the olympics at this rate."

Edd glows, his happiness this time beautiful and sincere, and Kevin can't help but feel a little flushed. He never thought Eddward _could_ look cute until now. "Thank you."

"I hope your friend gets to feeling better. I'll see you tomorrow then," he adds before leaving them alone once more.

Kevin shrinks under Edd's direct gaze. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine…" he murmurs standing and keeps his eyes downcast. "I'm… I'm so sorry for what I did today, Eddward. I don't expect you to forgive me but-"

Edd scoffs and Kevin looks up at him with huge, horrified eyes. "Pumpkin, you just don't seem to get it, do you?" Despite the harsh words his voice is warm and… fond, almost. Edd presses his hand to Kevin's shoulder, carefully guiding him back once more. "Please give me a moment to gather my belongings and then I will drive you and Nazz home. Is that alright?"

Kevin feels his face flush. "You don't have to do that. I'm not going to tell anyone, I promise. No need to… to do anything for me. I have my bike and Nazz usually walks."

"It wasn't a request," Double D insists with the smallest quirk to his lips. "Or some sort of pathetic attempt to suck up to you, believe it or not."

"But- Eddward-"

"Just relax for once and stop overthinking everything," he insists, now slightly irritated.

Kevin bites his lip, watching Edd fold his towels and suit with his brows knit together, but says no more. Edd has never felt more close or so far away. They live right across from each other and have for five years, they have had almost all of their classes together since sophomore year, and they've been paired up on at least two projects that have required working together outside of class (not counting the science fair) yet Kevin can honestly say he knows nothing about this boy. He used to think he did, actually up until this point he was still thinking that.

This entire event has left Kevin reeling from the implications and insanity of it all. The mere idea that Edd could have thought him a friend all these years is appalling and it makes Kevin feel even more the fool and yet, inexplicably, more furious than ever before - not because of how stupid Edd has made him feel but how Edd could have gone this whole time thinking they were good buddies or something.

Okay, perhaps that's a little dramatic, but it's close enough.

Kevin leans forward and cradles his head in his hands, releasing a huge sigh. "Why have you always been a dick to Nazz?" he finally grumbles. If they're going to do this, they're really going to do it.

Edd lets out a huff. "I will admit I've not been kind to Nazz but I've never been deliberately cruel to her either."

"What about when we were freshmen?"

"Are you referring to the period in which she had a crush on me?"

"Yes, what else?"

Edd hums. "I suppose my treatment of her was not particularly gentlemanly. I did somewhat lead her on but I never forced her to do anything."

Kevin scowls. "Might as well have."

Edd takes a deep breath rolling his eyes. Kevin can tell he's finally starting to really anger him. "Kevin, that was a long time ago. I was immature and I am sorry-"

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to," he says quickly but to be honest he's shocked Edd is apologizing at all. Maybe being away from those asshole friends of his makes him nicer.

"I somehow feel Nazz would appreciate it even less if I were to apologize now. Some memories are best left alone."

"Thoughtful of you," Kevin laughs darkly, looking away. "Why don't you ever stop your gang from hurting me? If you're willing to go so far as to beat up Reagan then surely it shouldn't be too difficult for you to stop Plank from doing it too."

When Edd doesn't reply, Kevin looks at him warily out of the corner of his eye.

"Plank has touched you?"

Something about Edd's tone makes Kevin's blood run cold. He turns his head fully to meet the other boy's gaze and is shocked by the furrow of his brows and clenching of his jaw. Kevin studies his face for a moment feeling more confused than ever. " _Duh_ …"

"Don't get smart," Edd seethes. "What has he done to you and when?"

"How about last week when he slammed me up against my locker and stole my fucking earphones?"

There's something horrifying about the blank look that comes to Edd's face; it makes Kevin's stomach twist once more. Edd should be reprimanding him for cursing, they should be bickering over that study that found the more intelligent you are the more you curse, Edd should be smirking or rolling his eyes or _something_. "Those new ones… the…"

"Apple earphones? The really nice and expensive ones? Yeah, those were mine. I had to tell my dad I lost them and now I'm grounded into the next century. All courtesy of Plank."

Edd jerks his head away and stands mechanically. Kevin watches uncomfortably as the other boy begins to pace back and forth, rubbing at his jaw roughly.

"Edd…?"

"I'm…" he stops and lets out a violent breath through his teeth before turning to Kevin. The smaller boy lurches back at the dark look on his face. "Had I known, it wouldn't have happened. I'll get them back to you," he says sharply, his eyes fierce and unwavering. "I'll do it tonight."

Kevin blushes and finally looks away. "That's really not necessary… You don't-" he sighs heavily. "I don't know why you feel the need to do this or anything else for me but obviously… you don't need to do anything to keep me silent and… obviously you don't owe me anything…" Kevin mutters, eyes flickering to the hat.

"Pumpkin," Eddward groans and shoves his hands in his pockets, "if I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't. Do you understand me?"

"O-kay… but… _why_?" he persists, scuffing his shoes against the tiles. He can't bring himself to meet Edd's gaze.

For a long moment there's only silence. The tension grows between them with each passing second; Kevin fidgets, hand grasping at his elbows and fingers picking at his pants.

"Kevin," Edd says firmly and the boy jumps, blinking up at him owlishly. He gazes down at Kevin steadily for another moment before he finally speaks. "I never intended to harm you. I know… I come on strong. But please believe me when I tell you I never meant to harm you. Physically or, as it may be, psychologically. I am… more sorry than you will ever know."

Brow furrowed, Kevin bites his lip and curls his arms around himself, intensely suspicious. "But _why_? Why would you care… Just, _why_?"

"Obviously because I care about you," he snaps.

Kevin bristles. "But _why_ do you care?"

"I have considered you one of the few students I can truly call my intellectual peer and… perhaps foolishly, my friend." If Kevin didn't know any better he would say that Eddward is embarrassed. "I must sound like an idiot - I went all of this time oblivious… Of course I recognized your discomfort and annoyance but - I didn't realize it was," his voice cracks a little, "like _this_..." he mutters and tugs on his hat a little.

Kevin stares, completely numb and on the verge of having a break down. Edd now refuses to meet his gaze, keeping his eyes downcast and oh god, now that wetness has returned to his eyes.

Finally snapping out of it, Kevin shakes his head robotically, as if he can dislodge these words from where it has taken root within him, filling him with a sickening hope that he can neither name nor explain. "You fucking… _grope_ me on a weekly basis…"

Edd actually blushes. "Do you not mess around with your friends?"

" _Mess around_?" Kevin scoffs. "I somehow highly doubt you mess around with your friends by asking them out weekly."

Edd glares softly. "You're an idiot…"

Kevin feels like he's missing something here and casts a furtive glance around the locker room.

"No one else is here, Pumpkin. Just say what's on your mind," Edd sighs and moves to sit next to Kevin, making the smaller boy bristle. Edd gives him a weary look as if he's fed up with Kevin's bullshit but sits anyway.

The two boys eye each other warily for a moment before Edd scoffs and looks away. "Or don't."

Kevin licks his lips feeling flushed. "Do you remember the first time we met?"

Edd looks to him again, face soft once more. "Freshman year, honors geometry. That was the first class we had together, the first time we were near each other despite living right across from each other for a year."

"Oh, I was more thinking of English when we were partnered up for that assignment…"

"Ah, yes…" Double D murmurs, practically wistful. He leans a little closer, pretending to adjust. Kevin meets his eyes hesitantly to find them warm with amusement. "You had a horrible time with Shakespeare."

Laughing nervously, Kevin looks away. "English has never been my strong suit…"

"Oh, I know," he says teasingly. "I have been correcting your homework for years now, after all…"

Kevin can't help but let out a high, strained laugh, mostly out of surprise from the… _kindness_ in Edd's voice and his nerves too, of course. "Why do you do that? It's so ridiculous…"

"It started with that 100 question take home test in English, if you recall."

Kevin hums.

"It was what? Twenty five percent of our grade?"

"Something like that."

"Well, I knew you were going to fail it."

Kevin lets out another high pitched giggle, flushing in embarrassment. "So what? You took pity on me?"

"Something like that…" Edd laughs breathily. The sound makes Kevin's spine tingle and his stomach flutter. He looks at Edd nervously and the boy grins, showing off that gap.

Kevin wonders what it would feel like to slide his tongue-

"It became a bit of a habit. Plus it's such fun seeing your reactions. You sure do get worked up…"

He rolls his eyes looking away. "Bully…"

Edd shrugs, smiling lopsidedly. "I know, I'm bad. But… Kevin…"

The boy looks at him closely, meeting Edd's eyes to find they have turned hard once more. "Yeah…?" he barely manages to get out, voice hoarse.

"I… If I had known you were- No, I go overboard. I know I do and…" he doubles over slightly and presses his palms to his face hard. "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm not trying to make excuses. I know I'm a bad person-"

"Stop," Kevin chokes, his mouth and throat suddenly painfully dry. "I- I'm not going to forgive you, at least not right now, but… I don't expect you to forgive me either. Can we say… we're even?"

Eddward lights up but does his best to suppress his smile. His reaction of pure pleasure makes Kevin blush and quickly turn his face away. "I promise you'll have those earphones back by the end of the night."

God, his face is burning. "That's really not necessary-"

"It is, Pumpkin."

Edd falls silent for a moment. Kevin's skin prickles as he can feel those blue eyes searing into him. Finally Edd sighs, "You must think me a fool…"

"For what?" Kevin fidgets, plays with the zipper of his hoodie - anything to distract himself from the feeling of unease building in his stomach.

"For… not realizing how much you despise me…"

Kevin gulps, biting his lips. "I thought you hated _me_. You treat me like a plaything."

Edd makes an indescribable noise in the back of his throat, high and tense. "I- yes- yes, I suppose that's the best way to describe my actions."

Kevin squirms slightly. "Can we stop talking about this for now?"

"Yeah…" Edd murmurs. "So, feeling better now?" he asks, slightly strained. "Your stomach, I mean."

Kevin nods and forces a smile.

"Let's go then."

Edd stands, jerks on his leather jacket and slings his duffle bag over his shoulder, closing his locker with his shoulder. Kevin shuffles along behind him as they leave, turning out the lights when he's asked. As Edd locks the changing room, Kevin peers out the window to see Nazz peering right back with huge, scared eyes. So much for their plans. He tries to smile but he fears it appears as more of a grimace.

Edd sighs when he sees her but then pauses. Looking at him nervously, Kevin clears his throat. "What's wrong?"

Blue eyes pin him once more. "Do not tell her what you saw."

"I already promised I wouldn't. I mean it. I am sincerely sorry and I'm not about to… to do anything to add to it…"

Kevin does his best to maintain eye contact with him but that wetness begins to form in Edd's eyes, if only slightly - in all honesty it could be a trick of the eye, Kevin's glasses are splattered with water after all.

"You haven't asked me."

"What?"

"How I got them," Edd says lowly.

Kevin blinks at him, somewhat taken off guard. "It's none of my business…"

Edd lets out a sudden huff of breath; Kevin can't tell if it's frustration or amusement. "It's about time I get you two home, isn't it?"

With that, Edd turns back to the door and sweeps forward.

"Are you… okay?" Nazz asks when the two come out of the pool room.

Kevin nods sharply and manages to give her a proper smile. She visibly relaxes. "So… Edd has offered to give us a ride home…" Kevin begins carefully and all of the tension seeps back into her shoulders.

"It wasn't an offer, more of a demand…" Edd says offhandedly. He gives the door a tug before turning to them, smirking. "I insist."

"Uh, no thanks…" Nazz mutters and steps back.

"Fine, you can walk but I'll be taking Pumpkin here."

Nazz shoots Kevin an alarmed look and he smiles sheepishly.

"Here…" Edd reaches into his pocket and pulls out a different set of keys which he tosses to Kevin. "You guys know my car, right?"

"The Prius…"

"Yes, 'the Prius'. Do you have a problem with my car, Blondie?"

She rolls her eyes and turns away. "Come on, Kev."

"Wait - uh, Edd, where are you-"

"I'm getting your earphones, dweeb. Just go with your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend," Kevin croaks out automatically.

"Oh, trust me - I _know_." Edd winks at him with a vicious smirk.

Kevin flushes, as does Nazz. And the teasing begins again.

Edd shoulders his bag and, with a soft laugh, heads to the main building.

Kevin feels horribly embarrassed by all of this and he can't even meet Nazz's eyes.

"What happened in there?" she demands, voice tight with worry. "Are you okay?"

"I… I shouldn't have done that."

Nazz scoffs. Grabbing him by the shoulders, she jerks him around to face her. "Kevin, we're talking about the guy who gropes you, shoves you around, and steals from you. There is nothing wrong with what _we_ did."

"Yeah, yeah there is. It… was really bad, Nazz. He- fuck, I can't tell you. I feel like shit though, like I somehow managed to stoop lower than him."

Nazz gulps. "That bad?"

"Worse. I don't even know what just happened, to be honest. But- he… it's like he thought we were friends?"

Nazz barks out a surprised laugh. "' _Friends_ '?"

Kevin looks over his shoulder at Edd just as he slips into the building. "Can we talk about this tonight? I need some time to…" he takes a shaking breath and closes his eyes. "I don't even know what just happened."

Nazz loops her arm with Kevin's, resting her head on his shoulder, and they head to the student parking lot.

The Prius is one of the few cars left in the parking lot, not to mention the nicest. Everyone knows that Eddward is from a pretty well to do family but no one really knows what they do for a living. Actually, Kevin rarely sees Edd's parents at all despite living right across the street from them. Usually their cars appear only after midnight and they are long gone by the time Kevin wakes in the morning. It's been that way for as long as he can remember.

"What about your bike?"

"You get in the car, I'll take care of the bike," Kevin explains, handing her the keys.

By the time he has his bike from the other side of the lot, Edd is at his car, waiting. Kevin slides off his bike and walks it the rest of the way.

When he spots Kevin, Edd grins widely and holds out his hand for Kevin to see his earphones. " _Pour toi_ …" he croons and slinks over to Kevin.

Skin prickling, Kevin eyes him warily. "What are you up to?"

Edd's smirk widens so Kevin can catch a glimpse of that damn gap (it's still perfect, fuck) before sneaking his hand into the smaller boy's back pocket.

Flushing, Kevin shoves at his chest but Edd's hand, still in his pocket, unfurls from around the earphones to press into the flesh of Kevin's ass, forcing him to stumble forward and right into Edd's arms. "Stop it!" he gasps and blushes hotter at the sound of his own voice it's so high. "You said you'd stop!"

Edd hums, lips slightly upturned with suppressed amusement. "I apologized, I never said I'd stop."

Kevin's stomach sinks and his chest flares with fire. "Fuck you!" he spits but it comes out hot and shaking. "Fuck you for all of this, you prick! I-I-"

Edd's amusement is gone in the blink of an eye. He withdraws his hand and takes a step back. "Woah, woah- Pumk- Kevin! Kevin, I'm sorry! I was- teasing! Teasing, Kevin! I didn't-"

"Stop," Kevin bites. "Don't touch me. Not ever."

Edd is taken aback by the hardness in Kevin's eyes and the harsh edge of his clenched jaw. "Yeah," he gulps. "I'm sorry…"

"Just take us home. Then we can forget all about this."

Edd lets out a breath through his teeth. "Yeah, fine."

Kevin watches closely as Edd puts the bike in the back. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt your baby…" Edd teases but Kevin can tell he's actually fed up with him.

Nazz is watching from the backseat, shaking with her anger. Kevin is quick to join her in the car when he's satisfied that his bike is safe.

Edd gets into the driver's seat before turning to the backseat with a sigh and an open palm. He looks at Nazz expectantly. She looks at Kevin then back to Edd nervously. "The keys, Blondie."

"Oh!" she squeaks and digs her hand into her pocket. "Sorry. I forgot."

Edd sighs, patience wearing thin. Nazz drops the keys in his palm and he gives Kevin on last pointed look before turning back to the wheel.

As soon as things fall quiet in the car it sinks in that Kevin just stood up to Double D. Legitimately stood up to him and told him to cut his shit and he had conceded. Holy fuck. That just happened.

The drive is painfully quiet but blessedly quick.

When they reach the cul-de-sac, Kevin lets out a sigh of relief just to tense once again when Edd pulls into Kevin's driveway instead of his own.

Kevin looks out the window at his mother's car, stomach roiling. "Uh… you don't…"

"Relax, Pumpkin," Edd says shortly and climbs out of the car.

Nazz and Kevin look to each other nervously before scrambling out of the back seat. Edd already has Kevin's bike out. Kevin is quick to take the handles from him (earning an amused smirk) and guide it into the open garage.

"Ever ridden a motorcycle?" Edd asks.

"Ah, no…" Kevin answers nervously, rejoining the other two in his driveway.

"I… really need to go home…" Nazz says nervously and the worst part is she really does. Kevin knows very well that Nazz has a babysitting job to get to so he's not going to have any back up until eight.

Kevin nods to her. She smiles weakly. "Text you later…"

"Bye, Blondie," Edd jeers slightly, stepping to Kevin's side.

She shoots him a vicious glare. "Don't fuck with him," she hisses lowly.

Edd only chuckles. "Just be sure to send Marie a text later, okay?"

Nazz flushes, totally taken off guard. "Actually…"

"Jeez, what now?"

"I don't have her number," she blurts.

Edd raises an eyebrow, reaching out to her; she hops back. "Your phone, Nazz, let me see it."

Reluctantly, she does. Kevin thinks her willingness attests to just how into Marie she is. Edd takes her phone and quickly inputs the number before tossing it back to her.

With that, Nazz sends him one last wary look and leaves.

"Why is she so uptight?" Edd grumbles under his breath.

"Hey there kids!"

Both boys nearly jump out of their skin, turning quickly to find Kevin's mother standing in the doorway beaming at them. "Mom!" Kevin says shrilly. "Uh, I'll be just a second-"

"Kevin," she admonishes. "I haven't seen Eddward in forever! Eddward, would you like to stay for dinner? Oh, where are my manners? Come in!"

Eddward grins broadly and loops Kevin's arm with his to drag him inside.

Kevin feels like he's going to faint. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this.

His mother, of course, adores Eddward with the same sickening intensity that the rest of Peach Creek does. She is always on Kevin's ass about him: "Why do you never invite Edd over?", "You go to his swim meets, don't you? That's so sweet!", "Kevin, you need to invite Edd over for dinner. I hate thinking about him over there all alone in that house.", and so on.

Kevin never listens. He may be a pushover, especially when it comes to his mother, but he can't be swayed the subject at hand is one Eddward Vincent.

Kevin thinks back on all of his mother's passive aggression and pouting over the years as he is swept towards his house the infamous shark himself.

There is something very wrong about this.

His mother is absolutely beaming at them and uh, so is Edd? And only adding to Kevin's discomfort his smile seems… almost sincere? Almost. There's still a teasing edge to it.

"It's been such a long time!" his mom says, absolutely gleeful, and - Jesus Christ, his mother hugs Double D and holy mother of god he hugs her right back. She pats Edd's back fondly, her head just barely reaching the taller boy's shoulder, before holding him out at arm's length. "It's been too long! Look at you!" she gasps in that uniquely "mom" way. "You've grown so much since the last time I saw you properly! Such a handsome young man!"

Edd actually lights up at all of the attention and Kevin can't help but feel a little bad for the guy. He realized just how badly Edd misses his parents back when they teamed up for the science fair and it was more through his behavior around Kevin's own parents that he figured it out.

He would practically preen under Kevin's parent's affections and it's… sad. It's sad how his cheeks would burn and he would look at Kevin's mother and father like they were his own parents, like he desperately wanted and needed their affection; how his eyes would just light up when Kevin's mother insisted that he stayed for dinner, when she simply set a plate in front of him or when Kevin's father insisted he take seconds or packed him leftovers to take home.

Kevin can't believe he almost forgot about all of that.

"Now, you boys just work on your homework or play some videogames while I get dinner going. I'll have it done in just a jiff!"

Suddenly, inspiration strikes. "Uh, mom?"

"Yes, sweetie?" she croons, face still lit up.

"Uh… Dad grounded me…" he says and could smack himself for how dumb he sounds. At least he'll be able to keep Edd out of his house.

She glowers at him.

Kevin feels a groan rising in his chest because that's his mother's "I don't care what your father said" face which means Edd is still getting in the house.

"Didn't you say he grounded you because of your earphones?" Eddward cuts in, voice mocking but of course his mother doesn't pick up on it. Kevin glares.

His mother sighs, "He lost them. Thirty dollar headphones and he loses them the first day he has them!"

Kevin's face flushes and his chest swells with anger but he simply casts his gaze away and keeps quiet.

"Woah, woah - but he didn't lose them, Ms. Barr," Edd interjects innocently and Kevin whips his head around.

 _Don't you dare_ he tries to convey with his eyes. He's sure that glimmer of amusement in Edd's is a _fuck you_.

She purses her lips, "What do you mean, sweetie?"

Edd slips his hand into Kevin's back pocket (ignoring Kevin's noise of distress) and presents the headphones. "A kid at our school took them. We just got them back today."

Surprisingly, Kevin's mother almost looks more frustrated. "Who stole them? Where did you leave them for them to get stolen like that?"

"Mom," Kevin groans.

"It wasn't Kevin's fault, really. He just straight up stole them from Kevin's pocket. I saw him do it, that's how we were able to get them back," Edd lies smoothly, voice laden with sickening sincerity.

Kevin feels sick watching this asshole lie to his mom like this but it's just a white lie, half truth really, and it actually feels good for someone to have his back.

It's beginning to sink in that his relationship with Double D is going to be very different from now on.

Kevin's mother makes a noise of distress. "Oh, honey… I'm sorry. _See_? Not grounded anymore."

Kevin forces a smile but on the inside he's throwing a fucking fit about this.

"You're such a sweetheart," she croons and pats Edd's cheek gently. "It makes me feel better knowing Kevin has a friend like you."

He beams and Kevin hides his face.

"You simply have to stay for dinner!"

"Actually, as much as I hate it, I can't stay long," Edd explains apologetically. Kevin's heart soars. "I have some chores that I need to finish before tonight."

Kevin's mother looks at him sadly. "Aw, that's okay, sweetie. But you should come over again soon! Our door is always open so you just come on in."

Edd suddenly looks to Kevin and the boy is tempted to shrink back under the combined attention of his mother and Eddward fucking Vincent. "The science fair is in less than two months."

"Uh, yeah-" Kevin stops himself. No he fucking isn't pulling this shit. "Actually, I wasn't really planning on participating."

"Kevin," his mother hisses.

Edd looks mildly annoyed yet still amused which is certainly a feat. "Come on, Pumpkin. Let's team up again."

Kevin's face is on fucking fire. This asshole seriously just called him "Pumpkin" in front of his mother. Jesus Christ.

Kevin's mom makes a high, delighted noise but says nothing.

"I don't know," Kevin grits out, hating the way Edd's lips quirk. "What are you even thinking about?"

"Let's make a robot."

Kevin grunts. "Let me think about it."

Edd waves his hand. "Sure, sure. Anyway, I should probably get going. It was really nice seeing you, Ms. Barr."

"Don't forget to come by soon!" Kevin's mom persists.

Edd smiles and promises he'll be by soon before getting back in that stupid Prius and driving the short distance to his house.

Kevin hurries inside, face burning, but before he can dart up the stairs his mom comes after him.

"'Pumpkin'?" she calls trying to suppress her laughter.

"Mom!" he groans stopping on the first stair. "Please don't."

"Kevin…" she pouts. "You could have just told me, sweetie."

"What?" he asks finally turning back to her.

She looks at him sadly. "Kevin, I've suspected it for a while. So has your father. And we are completely fine with it. We love you."

Now he is seriously confused; he ignores that little voice at the back of his head that says he knows _exactly_ what she's talking about. "What are you talking about, mom?"

"Honey… Edd is a lovely young man. We're very proud of you."

"Mom…" Kevin murmurs, eyes wide with horror. " _What are you talking about_?"

She huffs, now annoyed. "Your _boyfriend_."

" _Mom_!" he yelps. Holy shit, his face _hurts_ it is so hot. "I am _not_ dating Eddward!"

She blinks. "You aren't?"

"Oh my god! No! We aren't even friends! Oh my god, mom!"

"Honey! I'm sorry - it just looks a lot like you're… together. Going to his meets, teaming up at the science fair… Pumpkin," she adds emphatically, trying to suppress her own amused smirk.

Kevin makes a terrible whining noise he can't stop and hides his face. "Oh my god!"

"Oh, come on, Kevin… you really aren't dating?"

"No! Oh my god!"

"Honey-"

"Mom," he huffs and holds up his hands like a shield. "I am going to be brutally honest with you for five minutes and then we're going back to acting normal."

"Okay?" she says hesitantly.

"I am not gay. I am-" he chokes a little, "bisexual."

"Oh! The one where you like both?"

He groans at his mother's complete and utter ignorance but he really doesn't feel like giving her a walkthrough on this. Ever. "Yeah, sure. But that's not the point. The point is, I am not dating Edd. I have never dated Edd. I will never date Edd. I can hardly stand Edd. He's a jerk. Please stop inviting him over because he makes me want to scream."

At this she crosses her arms and gives him another mom look which reads "you better not have said what I think you did".

"The kid who stole my earphones is his best friend. He hangs out with jerks and he is a jerk and this is what I get for associating with him."

"Maybe you should invite him over more and he'll stop hanging out with people like that," she snaps indignantly.

Kevin's mouth drops open. "Mom."

"Kevin."

" _Mom_."

"That is a boy who has been through more than you know, Kevin," she persists, voice suddenly hard so he knows she means business. "I expect you to be nice to him."

Kevin grits his teeth. "Did you not just hear me? His friends practically bully me, mom. _He_ bullies me."

She scoffs. "Kevin, he is a lonely boy with no one to look after him."

"He has parents!"

"They are not like us, Kevin. They are not the type of parents to actually care for their child like we care for you. In many ways we've shielded you from the darker parts of life so I understand you don't realize just what's going on but that boy-" she chokes up a little and Kevin knows he's in trouble, "he needs someone. Be nice. Just try. You two seemed to get along so well when you worked on that project together…"

"It's fine as long as we're focused on work but he's…"

"Kevin, please."

They have a bit of a stand off but eventually Kevin gives in. "Fine."

He never calls Nazz. He's too sick with himself and his mother and Edd to talk.

Thank you for reading! Your feedback and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

Thank you all for your feedback! It means a lot! Reviews are lifeblood and all that.

This chapter includes mentions of homophobia and minor violence but there's also lots of fluff. R&R please!

* * *

School hasn't even started yet and Kevin is already cornered.

After everything that happened yesterday with Edd (those scars, the tears, the anger - just thinking about it leaves Kevin _reeling_ ), he has no clue what to expect when he gets to school. He actually struggled to sleep last night with all of these confusing thoughts swirling in his head. Eddward Vincent's scars were a predominant feature in his dreams, too. Edd kept appearing before him, eyes lidded and sharp, his hair drawn back so the harsh markings were on full display or, even worse, the image of Edd's strained face and watery eyes met Kevin's own, prompting him to gush out apologies.

He woke up at least three times, sweating and sick to his stomach, and could hardly go back to sleep with his thoughts running a mile a minute. So now he feels like absolute shit physically as well as emotionally.

When morning had finally come around, Kevin's mother had nearly dropped the bowl of eggs she was whisking when she saw him and promptly pressed her small hands all over Kevin's face and neck in an effort to determine if he had a temperature. Even when she found he was fine, she tried to keep him at home. Kevin was tempted to do just that but at the same time he felt he had to go to school. If he stayed home he would simply be haunted by his thoughts all day; at least going to school would give him something to focus on.

Kevin did convince his father to drive him to school, a rare and usually unnecessary occurrence, which killed two birds with one stone: he didn't have to exert himself and he could get to school early. He was trying to lay low, get to school before anyone else to avoid Plank or even Double D in case one of them decides to seek revenge. But as soon as he got to his locker hands came to rest against them, on either side of his head, arms trapping him.

Kevin turns slowly to find Plank looming over him, face cold and drawn. Plank gets his name not only from the slab of wood he carries around but from his appearance: he's tall and thin but hard - not someone anyone wants to mess with.

Plank sneers at him but doesn't say anything. He usually doesn't.

"Uh…"

Plank thrusts his open hand in Kevin's face and grunts. He wants the earphones back. Of course.

Maybe it was just a game from the beginning, maybe Edd gave them back just to fuck with him but Plank isn't interested in playing along. That actually wouldn't surprise Kevin at all.

Kevin sighs and begins to draw them out of his pocket when someone comes to lean against the lockers next to them with a small clink. He's not sure if he should be scared or relieved to see Double D; Plank seems to feel the same, hesitantly shifting above Kevin with a furrow in his brow.

Edd's face is completely blank but he's looking at Plank, not Kevin, so there's at least some indication that he's frustrated with the other. Edd picks at his nails. "Plank, what did I say about Pumpkin?"

Plank's face reddens slightly and he draws away.

Kevin thinks he must be imagining things, wide eyes flicking between the two boys.

Then Plank just walks away like nothing ever happened, leaving Kevin and Edd alone in the empty halls.

"Why are you here so early, Pumpkin?" Eddward asks curiously.

Kevin is still too dumbstruck to speak. Edd quirks a brow at him. "Uh… you just…"

"I told you. I would have stopped him if I knew what he was up to."

It's been a long morning already and Kevin is just going out of his mind. He makes this soft, broken sound without meaning to and then words just come spilling out. "There's- shit, there are these guys-"

"Mhm?" Edd murmurs, not even surprised by the outburst.

"Uh, Justin Roe and um, what's-his-face Lewis-"

"Jonathan Lewis."

"Yeah- they, uh, they always try to steal my homework - actually steal it - right before our math class-"

"Say no more. I'll walk you there, Pumpkin."

Kevin practically melts against the lockers, breath rushing out along with the tension in his shoulders. "Thank you…" he says without thinking and actually blushes when he realizes how pathetically sincere that sounded.

"It's no problem," Edd murmurs. Kevin can feel those blue eyes on him, unwavering. He feels even more embarrassed by Edd's gentle tone.

Edd could use all of this later. He could hold it over Kevin's head and force him- He doesn't even want to think about it. Not at all.

Edd shifts a little closer and Kevin turns his face to him, probably looking as lost as he feels. "I'm… I'm really sorry, Edd."

Edd's expression doesn't change. "Hm?"

"For yesterday."

The taller boy is quiet for a moment, his gaze somehow softer though Kevin can't say what changes. "You would have see them eventually, I suppose."

"That's not the point…" he mumbles, mouth feeling as if it has been stuffed with cotton.

"True."

Kevin flushes, feeling embarrassed and ashamed.

"Come on, get your books."

Kevin scrambles to do just that, opening his locker, but before he can grab his math textbooks Double D reaches in and snags them. Kevin looks at him, alarmed.

Edd raises an eyebrow. "I'll carry them for you."

Kevin's face burns but says nothing, instead simply closing his locker again.

Edd jerks his head in the direction of their class and they go.

Neither speak as they head to math. There are a million questions Kevin wants to ask and a million more things he simply wants to say, many of them less than pleasant, but he can't seem to spit anything out. Edd on the other hand, appears perfectly content to walk in silence. Unlike Kevin, he is also unbothered by the curious eyes that follow their movements and the hum of whispers.

There aren't many people here but it feels like they are surrounded.

"You didn't put another label on my back, did you?" Kevin murmurs lowly.

Edd laughs softly. "Not yet, no."

Kevin rolls his eyes. "Please don't."

"Why not? Half the school already believes we are an item of sorts and that would only inspire the other half to leave you alone for good."

"Believe it or not, I don't want the school thinking we're together or something."

Edd falls quiet and Kevin actually worries he has hurt his feelings. Neither speak again.

Sure enough, Kevin's bullies are waiting for him just outside their classroom. When they see Double D walking alongside Kevin, they look at each other and quickly make a decision.

"Hey, Kevin," Justin calls and motions for him to come closer.

Kevin's stomach clenches and though he's afraid he still feels inclined to listen simply to avoid more pain later. Years of conditioning prickle at the back of his mind telling him to go compliantly.

Edd may protect him now but what about later? What about tomorrow or even this afternoon when he's alone and vulnerable?

Edd's arm winds around the smaller boy's shoulders smoothly, gently drawing Kevin to his side. He smells like chlorine and sweet shampoo; his hand is so large it fully encompasses the edge of Kevin's shoulder. Kevin can't believe it but he actually feels so relieved he could hug Edd. His chest buzzes with warmth and relief that is almost overwhelming. Still, if he wasn't so shocked he would probably push him away. Probably.

"Sit with me today," Edd demands but his voice is warm (or maybe Kevin is just feeling biased by the gentleness of his hold and the flood of relief).

"I highly doubt Plank wants me around and I can't just let Nazz sit alone."

"She has Marie."

"Still… Plank…"

"Fine. I'll sit with you then."

Kevin isn't sure why but he blushes. Edd is handsome and all but he's still a jerk. And probably straight. Not to mention he's only doing this because he has ulterior motives or something. This is nothing to get worked up about.

Why does such a jerk have to be so handsome and so talented and smell so lovely? _Or maybe he's not so much of a jerk after all_ , a small part of his mind offers but he squashes it.

Kevin sits in his usual seat and Edd places Kevin's textbooks in front of him before dropping his bag and sliding into the seat behind the red head. Kevin turns back to him somewhat hesitantly. His eyes catch Plank's, who is sitting at the back of the class as per usual, then Johnny's and he quickly focuses on Edd's face.

Edd raises his eyebrows at the horrified look on Kevin's face. "No one is going to bother you while I'm here," he insists. "Relax, _ma_ _citrouille_."

Kevin bites his lips and sighs. "I just… you aren't always going to be around to keep them off my back. I mean, why the hell are you even doing this?"

Edd rolls his eyes. "I don't always have some hidden agenda, Pumpkin."

"Stop calling me that."

"Aw, why?" he smirks.

"Listen, cut the shit, what's going on?" Kevin demands. "What do you want from me? I told you I won't ever talk about it. Not to anyone."

"And I told you that's not what this is about. At all. I'm sorry for becoming so upset. I overreacted-"

"No you didn't…" Kevin sighs looking away. "That's just it, you should have… I don't know, punched me? You should still be mad at me, or something."

"But I'm not," Edd says with a bored look. "I'm not angry, I'm sorry."

"But-but why?"

"Because I like you, moron."

The image of Edd hunched in on himself returns to the forefront of Kevin's mind and the Shark's words ring in his ears: _I'm sorry for hurting you._ Eddward had been so painfully sincere in that moment, so vulnerable and honest that Kevin felt numb. That tightness and confusion returns to Kevin's chest, as does the desire to hug Edd as ridiculous as it sounds, but his guilt is eating at his stomach and he simply can't imagine what could have caused those _scars_ not to mention the fear that had swelled in Edd's cold eyes along with real tears.

"And," Edd adds and lowers his head slightly so he's eye to eye with the pale boy, the action almost condescending, pulling Kevin out of his thoughts, "I deserved it."

Kevin's stomach lurches.

"You look like I just killed a puppy. What's wrong with you?" Edd half laughs and rests his chin in his palm, almost smiling at Kevin.

"I… feel like shit for doing that to you."

"You apologized, I forgave you, we're even. It's done," he insists, that smile only growing. God, he looks fond. That's the only way to describe it. Eddward Vincent is looking at Kevin fondly and he doesn't know what to say. "Kevin, it's okay. I promise. I'm over it, it's okay."

Kevin nods stiffly. "I'm still really sorry."

"You don't need to be. It sort of feels good."

Kevin's brow furrows with his confusion.

"It's a relief, almost. I don't have something I'm hiding from you. You know, you saw it, and… it wasn't the end of the world…" Edd says softly, fingering the edge of his hat; his eyes are focused on Kevin yet not. "You are now one of five people who have seen them, consider yourself… honored," Edd twists his lips. "Not the best word for it, but close enough."

The sad thing is Kevin does feel honored. Five people have seen his scars, the terrible smattering of jagged lines across his forehead and that curious circular one on his temple, not to mention the ones dangerously close to his genitals. Only five people in the whole world. For the first time Kevin really does find himself wondering what caused them. Also, his stomach is full of butterflies because shit, Edd is looking cute again.

"So don't be sorry."

"Okay…"

"Kevin!"

He jerks around to find Nazz hurrying into the room. She shoves her bag into the seat to his right before planting herself in front of him but her eyes are focused on Edd. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's fine. Edd just wants to sit with us and Marie."

"Oh he does, does he?" she sneers. "And what if I don't want to sit with him?"

"Nazz," Kevin says lowly, "he just helped me with some assholes who were going to take my homework and he's been seriously nice, just give it a chance."

Nazz clenches her jaw so tight Kevin can see the muscles twitch but she says no more. She shoves her bag into the floor and sits down.

"Did you text Marie like I told you to?"

Nazz immediately blushes but looks even angrier. "Yeah…"

"Good. Now ask her to go to the dance with you."

"What?" Nazz snaps.

"Just trust me. Ask her today or she'll ask me."

Something about that makes Kevin more curious than it should.

Nazz rolls her eyes. "So you want me to ask her just so you don't have to go with her?"

"I want you to ask her because I don't have the heart to say no to her and she's not going to ask you herself even though she wants to."

Nazz eyes him warily. Kevin can sense things are about to get bad so he clears his throat. "So… did you need help with your homework?"

Nazz actually lights up. "Yeah! That one thing, the - Christ, what the hell is it called again?"

"Derivatives?" Kevin smirks.

"Aw, shut up," she says fondly. "You know I'm no good at math."

Kevin only grins and takes her paper when she hands it to him.

"You know… you should let me check your homework while you're doing hers," Edd murmurs and Kevin jolts. Edd is leaning in across his desk, his breath stirring Kevin's hair.

Nazz scoffs. "You're such a freak, Double D."

"He gets off on checking homework," Marie laughs in that manic way of hers as she approaches. She slips her messenger bag off her shoulder and slides it under the desk by Edd and behind Nazz. Nazz is blushing, again. "If you don't take him up on the offer, _I_ will."

Edd reaches out to her and she shoves the paper in his hand.

"The only reason I'm passing this class is Double D," Marie continues and grins at him, running a hand through her blue hair and leaning closer to Nazz. "Wanna make a bet? I'm willing to put up money."

Nazz smiles shyly. "What sort of bet?"

"I bet my dork is better than yours."

Kevin looks to Edd with wide, scared eyes, a little horrified that Marie has crossed the line. He's never actually seen them interact, not really, so he has no clue what to expect. To his surprise Edd only smiles and shakes his head. "What a ridiculous thing to gamble over."

Nazz gets up to instead straddle her chair, propping her elbows on Marie's desk. "Better at what, though?" Nazz giggles.

"I dunno, dorky things."

Kevin laughs somewhat nervously and Marie winks at him. "Double D always has said you're his 'only intellectual peer in this vat of ignorance'," she says in a somewhat pathetic attempt to mimic Edd's voice.

"Oh, but he is, Marie," Edd says smoothly, unphased by her teasing. "Kevin is perhaps the only person I have found who is capable of matching my intelligence. Well, at least in science in math. His literary understanding could use some work," he smirks but when he looks at Kevin, blue eyes alight, it's just like yesterday. His teasing is gentle and while there is an edge to his words it certainly isn't cruel or harsh.

"So it's not just a 'habit'?" Kevin murmurs, testing the waters. "Correcting homework."

Edd shrugs slightly, coy smile on his face. "With you it is."

"He likes lording his intelligence over others," Marie chortles. "With you… _weeell_ , I think he just wants an excuse to pester you."

Kevin laughs slightly, feeling uncomfortable but warm and giddy with the surreal quality of this whole situation. He wonders if it will always feel like this when talking to Edd.

"Anyway!" Marie sighs, stretching out her legs beneath the table. "So… that Valentine's dance is coming up…" She gives Edd a meaningful look and he gives her a withering one. Nazz fidgets.

Luckily, that's when the first bell rings and the rest of their classmates trickle in. When Justin and Jonathan come in they glare at Kevin but don't say anything. Kevin shrinks back.

His breath stutters when Edd's hand comes down on his shoulder and gives it a squeeze that is none too gentle. "Calm down," he says, voice deeper than usual, drawing Nazz's attention, "I already told you, they won't bother you while I'm around."

Marie croons and Kevin turns to her, trying not to blush. "It's nice of you to look after _ta_ _citrouille_ …"

Edd smirks, laughing lowly. "It seems he gets into more trouble than I thought…" he murmurs but his hand, still on Kevin's shoulder, remains there and his voice doesn't portray any annoyance. "I suppose I've found myself a fulltime job."

Blushing, Kevin looks to Nazz and she gives him a look that is far more knowing than it should be. It's a relief when their teacher begins her lecture.

Edd walks Kevin to his next class, too, even carrying his books. He doesn't touch Kevin this time though Kevin is expecting him to, oddly enough, and it makes him hyper aware of Edd's movements.

This might just be the strangest day of his life.

Unfortunately, while Kevin has a statistics course next Edd is heading to gym which leaves Kevin unprotected. Neither Justin nor Jonathan are in this class, luckily, but some of the swim team is, male and female alike.

Rebecca Bran comes and sits next to him as soon as he's settled in his usual spot. He looks between the blonde and the swim clique watching from the other side of the room, nervous as hell. "Uh, hello…"

"Hey Pumpkin," she says quickly. He must give her a strange look because she smiles apologetically. "Sorry, I've never actually caught your real name. Uh, none of us have… That's just what Edd calls you…" she clears her throat. "But obviously you know that."

"Uh, yeah, I know. Kevin. My name is Kevin."

"Right! Kevin! Okay, well, Kevin, we…" she says motioning pointedly to the group of two guys and three girls behind her, all of them grin and wave (a couple wink or waggle their eyebrows but Kevin pointedly ignores them), "we wanted to introduce ourselves because we figure you'll be coming around even _more_ often, now…" she says emphatically and gives him a meaningful look.

Oh god, he can't imagine what they must think of his relationship with Edd, especially after seeing Edd carrying his books for him. Kevin's face burns. "What makes you say that?"

She smiles at him and giggles. "Come on, you don't have to be shy. We know you and Edd are dating."

"Oh my god!" he says shrilly and puts up his hands as if to ward her off. "No! We aren't!"

"What?" she asks, sincerely confused. "Come on," she repeats, "we all know Edd is gay, don't worry about that-"

Kevin makes a high, pained noise in the back of his throat. This is not something she should be telling him - but… he did not expect that. Edd is gay… or maybe she's lying, teasing him. Suddenly the image of Edd's dick pops into his head and - Okay, he needs to stop thinking about Edd.

"Please stop," he says lowly. "I don't know what you think my relationship with Eddward is but it's definitely not… romantic. Okay?"

She looks unconvinced and her friends are straining to listen in. "Kevin, we're Edd's friends, he'll tell us eventually-"

"But that's just it, there's honestly nothing to tell you," he insists. "I swear."

At that she seems to understand. "Oh," she says and blushes. "Oh gosh, like, I'm so sorry!"

"Oh no!" he says quickly, feeling even more nervous. "I- don't worry about it! It's fine! I know it's… a rumor and all…"

"Then… why do you always let him drag you to our meets?"

 _Because I find him horrific_ , rises to his lips but he keeps it to himself. Instead, Kevin shrugs sheepishly. "He can be… convincing."

She stares at him for a few moments more, expression perfectly blank, before leaning in slightly, casting her group a furtive glance. "Kevin, Edd can be an absolute beast but he means well. I promise you that much."

Kevin blinks in surprise. She stands suddenly and hefts herself over one desk and then another to rejoin her friends who are now buzzing excitedly. Kevin is quick to look away. He hears a few whines and "What do you mean they're not dating?" but faces forward stubbornly.

It's hard to believe this is happening.

Lunch can't come soon enough yet Kevin is also horrified. The whole school eats lunch at the same time which means he has to be around all of his abusers at once. Edd steals his food, the football players cut in front of him in line, the random others such as Justin and Jonathan who trip him and shove him - _all of them_ _at once_. He just wants to hide but his stomach objects.

Kevin hurries to the lunchroom as quickly as physically possible, darting through the halls and giving his fellow students a wide berth. When the lunchroom doors come into view he breathes a sigh of relief, so very close- a hand comes down on his shoulder, dragging him back.

"Never thought I'd see a nerd move so fast," the guy chortles and another boy joins in.

Kevin finds himself penned in against the lockers by two of the football players though he doesn't know their names. He's familiar with the captain, James Reagan, of course, and the quarterback, Philips (he doesn't know the rest of his name and most call him Screwdriver anyway, as godawful a nickname as it is). These are just two more faces in a crowd, no one of particular interest to Kevin despite being his harassers.

"So, _Pumpkin_ ," the other drawls, putting as much acid as he can into the nickname, and it makes Kevin's skin crawl. "Where's Double Dick? Not here to save your ass now, you little faggot?"

Kevin hunches in on himself, his stomach feeling like a pit. He knew this was a bad idea, he fucking knew it. Even if Edd has no evil intentions he's going to get Kevin beaten up if not worse. Kevin should have never even spoken to him this morning, he should have ignored him and gone on his way. He should have acted like nothing happened because there's no other way to go about it. It's not like he can become friends or something with Eddward Vincent, the Shark: swim captain, school heartthrob and number one student in his class.

And that's just what he was hoping, he realizes. He was hoping that despite the hell that Edd has put him through he would change and be nice to Kevin or something equally ignorant and heart achingly stupid because fuck, even if he is a bastard, Kevin is lonely enough to hope Edd will somehow like him and wants something more and-

The first boy grabs his jaw harshly, forcing Kevin to look up at them. "If there's one thing I don't tolerate, it's fucking fags."

"Yeah," the second leers. "And the sad part is, I doubt Double D is even gay."

"Too fuckin' tough to be a fairy."

"But this one," he laughs and grabs the front of Kevin's shirt, "this one is so _obvious_ it hurts."

"And the way he follows Edd around like a little _puppy_ ," he simpers mockingly and the two burst into laughter.

Kevin doesn't even blush. Doesn't flinch or move or anything. He allows his mind to wander and his eyes to unfocus. The worst part is, they're right. Kevin is fucking pathetic for even thinking Edd could befriend him and even more so for ever harboring affection, no matter how small or how superficial, for someone like the Shark. He actually begins to find solace in the fact that soon they'll get tired and they'll switch tactics from words to fists.

He's beating himself up on the inside enough for both of them.

Number one shifts closer, sneering. "You listening, you little fuck?"

"Can you blame him?"

Kevin jumps slightly, eyes flicking to Edd as he once again appears out of thin air to lean against the lockers next to the red head. His expression is bored, his tone haughty and dull. Kevin doesn't feel so relieved this time.

"I imagine I would daydream, too, were I forced to listen to your inane drivel."

Number one snorts and releases Kevin's jaw, number two follows his lead and lets go of Kevin's shirt. "Edd," number one says stiffly.

"Trent," Edd mocks. "I trust you know that you'll pay for touching him."

Kevin's chest tightens with fear and- fuck, fuck that's… he's not sure what that feeling is but it's far too close to attraction and just fuck Kevin's life right now because this is screwed up. Better the devil you know, he guesses but it's still too screwed up for words.

They both sneer at Edd. Kevin is legitimately afraid for him because while he is strong he's not strong like a football player. Edd is a swimmer, all lean muscles and broad shoulders but no real meat or weight to him. Sure he can beat the shit out of one guy but these are two very large, very nasty football players and even the Shark can't match that.

"Don't try anything," Edd sighs, almost amused. "You do recall what I did to your captain, don't you?"

Kevin attempts to glare at him, willing him to shut up, but he looks more like he's about to cry. He's still feeling guilty deep down and if Edd were to get hurt protecting him… Kevin has no clue what he would do but he would never forgive himself, that's for sure, no matter how Edd has hurt him in the past.

"Shut up," number two growls. "You aren't as tough as you think you are."

"Maybe not alone, buuut…" Marie sing-songs (Kevin would recognize that voice anywhere). He jerks his head to the side to spot her trotting over to link arms with Edd. Following behind her is Nazz (Kevin has never been more relieved in his life to see his best friend) and, oh shit, that's Lee Kanker. "I can whoop your ass, big boy, so best leave that little Pumpkin alone now."

Trent and his right hand man linger a moment until Lee grins in a way which reminds Kevin of a dog baring its teeth and cracks her knuckles one by one.

The two grumble and scowl but much to Kevin's shock (and relief, oh sweet relief) they simply leave though they do shoot Kevin some angry looks and flip him off as they go.

He must admit if he were faced with Edd Vincent and two of the Kankers he'd probably piss himself, even if he were as big and bad as two of Peach Creek football's finest players, so perhaps it's not all that surprising.

"You okay, Pumpkin?" Marie asks, voice surprisingly gentle.

"Ah-" his voice cracks and he has to clear his throat. It's easier for him to nod his head swiftly.

When fingers brush against his cheek he almost yelps, hopping back. He meets Edd's eyes to find him looking completely unamused and almost a little pissed off. "How badly is your jaw hurt?"

"It's fine," Kevin spits out quickly, almost viciously with all of the anger and adrenaline still burning in his blood. "I'm fine…" he sighs softer, guilt eating away at him.

Edd just stood up against these guys for him. Sure he kept him from Plank and those two jerks this morning but this feels different. This feels more serious, like more of a risk. Edd just saved his ass for real.

The coldness in Edd's eyes melts.

"How about we get lunch?" Nazz suggests gently but he can still recognize the nerves in her voice.

Kevin nods eagerly and turns on his heel, hoping to get there as quickly as possible, but a hand clamps down on his shoulder. Stomach sinking like a rock, Kevin turns to meet Edd's fierce gaze. "You guys go ahead. Kevin and I need to talk," Edd says firmly, eyes never once leaving Kevin's.

Kevin apparently can't get a break today.

Nazz opens her mouth to protest but the two Kankers sort of capture her between them and draw her away. Kevin's mouth feels dry and his head begins to ache. Edd's arm wraps around his shoulders again and despite all of his tired fury Kevin wants to lean against Edd and pretend he's as nice as Kevin wishes he were. Instead he stays stiff and tries to maintain as much distance between them as he's allowed.

He allows himself to be drawn along grudgingly. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere private," he murmurs. "Also, you need to be checked out."

Kevin makes a disgruntled noise as he realizes what Edd means but Edd's grip only tightens so Kevin has no choice but to go with him to the nurse's office.

People stare at them and whisper but Kevin is too tired and frustrated and numb to give a fuck.

The nurse's office is dark and quiet as the nurse keeps the lights dim and the curtains closed. She looks up at them from her desk and beams. "Eddward! Hi there! It's been too long. How are you, sweetie?" she says softly as she stands.

Kevin watches in shock as she envelopes Edd in a hug. "I'm doing well. What about you, Ms. Thomas?"

"Just swell! And who is your friend there?"

"This is Kevin Barr. He's just been hurt and I thought you should check on him."

Immediately she's in front of Kevin, ushering him to a small cot. "What happened, honey?"

"Um…" he looks to Edd nervously.

"Something we need to keep between us," Edd explains easily. "Some of the football players felt the need to shove him against the lockers."

Ms. Thomas takes a sharp breath through her nose. "Those boys pushed around this little thing?" she nearly cries. Her jaw clenches and lips purse. Kevin blushes slightly but doesn't feel offended; the way her hands are fluttering over his shoulders and the sadness in her warm eyes make him feel safe and cared for. "Why would they do that?"

Kevin licks his lips and looks away. "I'm an easy target, I guess…"

"Where are you hurting, sweetie?"

"They grabbed my-my jaw, that's all."

She croons softly and takes his face in her hands carefully. She has such pretty blue eyes, almost like Edd's - holy shit he did not just think that.

"It's certainly not broken, thank goodness," she says softly as she presses the pads of her fingers to his jaw and then around the back of his head. "I think you're just going to be a little sore and have some unfortunate bruises-"

Edd makes a deep, dark noise at that and she looks up to blink at him. He looks away, the only word Kevin can find for his expression is embarrassed but there's something more there that eludes words.

"Edd!" she gasps suddenly and draws away. "Is this that Pumpkin you're always talking about?"

Kevin's face is so red it hurts.

"Ah, yeah."

She grins. "Oh! Edd has told me so much about you! It's so nice to finally meet you! I only wish it was under better circumstances," she sighs and grabs some Tylenol. She winks at Kevin, "I'm not really supposed to give this out but it will be our little secret."

Edd brings Kevin a small paper cup full of water and he blushes even darker before taking the medicine.

"Edd talks about you all the time," she says in a stage whisper. "He's told me about how cute his little Pumpkin is but I never realized just _how_ cute!"

Said Pumpkin nearly chokes on the water.

"Don't embarrass him," Edd mumbles sounding terribly embarrassed himself.

Ms. Thomas only titters softly. "Well, you two are more than welcome to stay here during lunch but I really need to go get some food. And… if you need them…" she snags a couple of slips of paper from her desk and hands them to Edd with a smile; Kevin suspects they're late passes. "You can stay as long as you like, just no funny business!"

Both boys are left alone and red in the face. The silence is stifling.

"Are you okay?" Edd asks finally but doesn't meet Kevin's eyes.

"Yeah… uh… About what happened, I don't think we should speak to each other," he says quickly.

Edd's head jerks up. "What are you talking about?" he demands fiercely and Kevin shrinks back slightly.

"They did that because they think I'm- I don't know. They think I have a crush on you. Kept calling me a faggot and stuff."

"You aren't so who cares?"

Kevin glares at him weakly. "But I am."

Edd stops breathing. Kevin can tell because he's looking at Edd's chest instead of meeting his eyes.

He's not sure why he just said that. Maybe his confession to his mother has emboldened him. Really, he thinks it will get Edd to leave him alone.

Kevin recalls what he said yesterday in response to Kevin bringing up the fact that Edd gropes him: " _Do you not mess around with your friends?_ "

Well, maybe this will put an end to that. Edd can't look like a faggot even if he is gay so surely he'll back off. Or maybe he'll punish Kevin for making a fool out of him or something. He's finding it hard to care.

"You're gay?" Edd asks calmly.

"Bisexual," Kevin says just as relaxed as Edd though his heart is hammering.

"I'm gay," he explains matter of factly. Kevin looks up to meet those blue eyes, shoulders relaxing. Somehow this makes him feel safe though it's hardly the biggest secret of Edd's he knows. He almost forgot about the scars, actually, with all of the drama. "I'm not going to bully you about that. Don't worry."

"Oh… okay…" Kevin murmurs, averting his gaze.

"Ever dated a guy?" Edd asks, slipping his hands into his pockets.

"No," Kevin replies, his mouth dry. "Have you?"

"Once but it didn't last long. The only other person I ever dated was Marie. That was before I realized - well, accepted reality is perhaps the better way to put it. You know what I mean?"

Kevin nods stiffly. "I do. I-" he stops himself. "I just told my mom last night, actually…" he laughs a little manically and hides his face in his hands because he feels he might just cry. "She thought we were dating, just like everyone else… which is pretty fucked up, to be honest."

Edd is quiet for a minute before taking a seat on the cot, pressing close enough to Kevin that their shoulders brush. "I haven't seen my parents in six months and it will be another few days before they get back. They'll spend a night, maybe two… and the next day they'll be gone."

Kevin looks at him alarmed but stays quiet, sensing he needs to let it out. He's also relieved the subject has changed (and also there is a giddiness that comes with Edd being a human fucking being which is remarkable).

"The point is, as strange as it may sound, I feel very close to your mother and father despite what must seem like a very small amount of time that I have actually spent in their presence. I hope they are… okay with me."

"My mother absolutely adores you, dude. She really does. She was actually…" Kevin coughs slightly and looks away. "She seemed excited at the thought of us being… together…"

Christ! Why did he just tell him that? What a horrible, stupid, ridiculous thing to say-

Edd's head suddenly drops to Kevin's shoulder. Kevin jumps slightly but doesn't move. "Edd?"

"Just give me a minute…" he says hollowly. "It's a lot to take in."

"What? That she likes you?"

"Kevin, shut up…" Edd murmurs and he does.

They sit in silence for a moment, Kevin's mind buzzing terribly. He's tired and his jaw and neck hurt so he says fuck it and rests his head on top of Edd's, feeling the taller boy shift slightly.

"We should pretend to date," Edd says suddenly, his voice rough and deep, too loud in the small, dark room.

Kevin scoffs. An alarm goes off in the back of his mind but he ignores it. "Why?"

"To keep you safe."

Kevin shakes his head. "They want to beat me up after simply being near you one morning. What are they going to do if we do something stupid like that?"

"They dared to touch you because, though it's a prominent rumor, they don't actually believe it. If I were to stake a claim - to hold your hand, to give you my hoodie, to actually call you my boyfriend - they wouldn't fucking dare."

Kevin blinks at the curse and glances down to see Edd's hands have clenched into fists. "Okay… how does-" his voice cracks, "how would we…"

"Just let me handle it. And if anyone asks, tell them we're dating."

Kevin is shaking slightly. "Your teammates think we're dating."

"Oh, do they?."

"They… sort of confronted me about it. They told me that they already knew about you being gay so I could just be honest with them…"

Edd actually laughs and wraps his arm around Kevin's waist. Kevin shudders but it feels too pleasant to draw away. It doesn't hurt or feel uncomfortable, only warm and gentle. "They don't mean it in a bad way."

"Yeah, I could tell. They seemed pretty upset that I said we weren't."

"They're trying to get me to go to the dance with someone. Specifically you."

"Oh…" Kevin breathes.

Edd draws away slightly, blue eyes peering up at Kevin through his thick eyelashes. "We should go together…"

Kevin blushes thickly, heart hammering and stomach twisting with butterflies. "You're acting like we're… going to be _seriously_ dating."

"I give everything I do my all," Edd purrs, lips curling into a smirk.

For the briefest moment Kevin recalls the last time Edd put a label on him, harshly pressing it to Kevin's crotch so the boy yelped and stood on tiptoe in a pathetic attempt to get away, and that smirk was plastered on his face. Kevin can't help but bristle slightly.

Edd purses his lips slightly, leaning into Kevin's space once more so they're practically nose to nose. "Have you ever kissed anyone?" Edd says so softly it's hardly even a whisper.

Kevin opens his mouth to speak but all of his thoughts are in a disarray and Edd has him pinned with those beautiful eyes. His fingers curl around Kevin's chin and he traces his thumb over Kevin's bottom lip gently. Kevin feels as if everything melts away but Edd and the heat pooling in his stomach.

He's being so gentle, so gentle that Kevin can pretend this isn't the boy who weekly pins him to his locker and presses labels to his crotch or teases his fingertips over his sides before slamming one onto his back. It's easy to remember all the good things like this. The science fair, the late nights working on that engine, or yesterday even.

 _He needs someone_ , that's what his mother had said. His parents have been gone for six months and they'll be leaving again after one night - he's beginning to see what she meant and to recognize its effects. Edd's aloof nature, his lack of friends, all of it. He's just a lonely, broken boy.

Maybe that's why he's so cruel.

"Have you ever been kissed, Pumpkin?" he rumbles, his breath hot and sweet against Kevin's lips.

"No…" Kevin breathes. "No I haven't but…"

Edd leans in and Kevin's eyes shut automatically, half out of anticipation and half a flinch, but Edd's lips don't meet his own, they brush across his cheek gently, setting the skin there aflame and making him shiver pleasantly. This is not what Kevin expected, it's not the fierce and forceful Shark that teases him or grabs at him, this is the broken boy who helped him after he vomited, the one who gave him that trophy they won together.

Kevin's heart is hammering against his ribcage and he's holding his breath. Edd moves his hand from Kevin's chin and oh, oh he's going to kiss his lips - no, Edd presses a gentle kiss to his jaw as if to sooth the hurt.

"I hate that they touched you…" Edd murmurs against his skin and finally draws away. His eyes are dark and powerful, locked on Kevin's.

Kevin's mouth feels dry and his stomach is still burning with lust. "This is a really bad idea," he murmurs and Edd smirks.

"A very bad idea but also the best I've ever had."

Kevin thinks he knows exactly what the other boy is up to now but he finds he wishes he didn't. So he tries to ignore it. He also wishes he didn't like it. So he ignores that, too.

Then Edd smiles slowly, eyes bright and gap showing. It's the most sincere expression Kevin has ever seen on his face.

And that's when reality truly comes crashing down on Kevin and he can't deny it, he simply can't. A part of him realized yesterday, another part this morning, and at this moment he can deny it no longer. Eddward has a fucking crush on him.

All of the teasing, the harassment, the probing questions about his relationships, it's all been right in front of him since the start. He's angry but also absolutely giddy, stupidly giddy (why is he even giddy?).

Kevin makes a slightly distressed noise and before he can stop himself he finds the words spilling from his mouth, "You like me."

Edd makes a soft noise of assent and actually shifts closer, his nose brushing Kevin's neck for just a moment. "Took you long enough."

"We should go get food…" Kevin says softly, suddenly feeling horribly shy because dear god Edd just kissed him and it wasn't forceful or even sexual at all, it was soft and sweet and caring, and then confessed his feelings. Kevin doesn't know what to do with himself or here to go from here, all he knows is that he needs to get out of here before he does something he regrets.

"Okay, let's go."

Edd holds his hand all the way back to the cafeteria and it shouldn't feel good, it should feel disgusting because this is all just one big ruse (yet not really because _Eddward Vincent_ honestly _likes_ him, holy hell) but Kevin can't make himself feel bad about it. He actually laces his fingers with Edd's and the taller boy looks down at him with those big blue eyes and grins, really grins.

"This is fun," Edd says lowly and for once he seems to be taking notice of all of the other students murmuring and gossipping. He's fucking basking in it and Kevin isn't sure what that means (yes he does, he's just lying to himself at this point). "Imagine what would happen if we kissed-"

"No!" Kevin says forcefully. "We definitely are not kissing."

Edd only smirks. "Don't be a wet blanket, _ma citrouille_."

"I mean it," he huffs. "You get too pushy or sexual and I won't hesitate to knee you in the balls."

Edd whistles. "Jeez, Pumpkin, I'm shaking in my boots."

"Shut up. I'm serious. This is just pretend so no more of that-that touching or _groping_ or whatever the fuck you want to call it."

"Sure, sure, I'll save it for private."

Kevin punches Edd's arm weakly. Edd just grins at him. Grins, grins, grins.

He's absolutely beaming and it makes Kevin's insides squirm. Yeah, he thinks he knows what Edd is up to but… it's okay. (Of fucking course he knows what Edd is up to, he pretty much admitted it.)

"Listen," Kevin says, "we're going to tell Marie and Nazz this is just for my protection."

Edd's face falls and he goes back to looking pissed off. "Why? Don't want your girlfriend thinking you're into me?"

" _Nazz_ ," he says forcefully, "will think you somehow coerced me into this, asshole."

"Well, well, well, just been dating a few minutes and you're already getting bolder. I'm your boyfriend now so you should call me sweetheart or something rather than your vulgar slurs."

"Shut up," he groans.

The closer they get to the cafeteria the more Kevin fidgets. He can deal with all of these strangers thinking he's with Edd but he's horrified Nazz is going to be furious.

"How about this," Edd says suddenly and Kevin looks up at him hesitantly. "You go find Nazz and Marie, I'll get us lunch."

"You mean you'll get me lunch and then eat it all," he snarks back without thinking. Much to his shock Edd lights up again and actually _giggles_.

"I like this side of you, Pumpkin."

Kevin rolls his eyes. "Yeah, okay, whatever."

"See you in a minute… boyfriend," Edd purrs in his ear and gives his hand a squeeze just as they reach the cafeteria doors then he's gone.

Gulping, Kevin enters the room to find half of the school simply staring at him, all humming with gossip and shock. He practically sprints to Nazz who he spots towards the front right corner.

"Kevin!" she says and there is relief written all over her face. "Are you okay?"

"Uh, fine," he mumbles and glances at the three Kankers, all eying him curiously. He figures they're fine to tell, too. It doesn't really matter. "Listen, I'm going to tell you guys something and you can't tell anyone else."

Nazz nods emphatically, Marie leans in with a wicked grin stretched across her face and the other Kankers simply look on with bored expressions.

"In order to avoid more… _trouble_ , Edd and I are pretending to be… together."

" _Pretending_?" May says in surprise.

"Yeah right, Pumpkin, we know you two are together for real," Lee adds with a smirk.

Marie groans. "Why 'pretend'? Why not actually date?"

"Because we don't _actually_ like each other."

Well, Edd likes Kevin and Kevin thinks Edd is fucking gorgeous but they don't need to know that.

Marie gives him a look that suggests she's not buying any of his shit. He wouldn't either, he's a horrible liar.

"Kevin," Nazz snaps, "how does this ' _avoid more trouble_ '?"

"He says people won't bother me if they think we're actually together."

"What?" Nazz scoffs.

"It's true. People don't fuck with Double D, Nazz," Marie says with a shrug. "Why do you think John Reagan doesn't bother your little _citrouille_?"

"What does he have to do with this?" Nazz asks completely confused at this point.

"It's… complicated," Kevin sighs. "I'll try to explain later."

"Explain what?"

Kevin nearly jumps out of his skin when Edd appears from behind him, placing a plate in front of him before taking the seat between him and Marie.

"About time you snagged him," Lee mutters.

Edd winks at her.

"I'm trying to tell you we're not really dating," Kevin hisses.

"Suuure you aren't," May rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

"Calm down, _ma citrouille_. Eat before the bell rings."

Kevin glares before glancing at the tray before him then does a double take. "Shit, you didn't need to get the deluxe meal - or so _much_ of it."

"We're sharing," Eddward smirks and gently bumps his shoulder against Kevin's. He waggles his eyebrows making Kevin snort before snagging some of the fries.

"How _romantic_ …" Marie croons.

"I'm gonna puke," Nazz growls.

"Calm down, Blondie, I'm not actually stealing your boyfriend."

"Oh my god," Kevin whines. "How many times do I have to tell you we're not together?"

"Well obviously _you two_ aren't together," Lee cuts in and her sisters giggle obnoxiously.

"So, I assume this means you won't be my date to the dance?" Marie sighs.

"No, I'm afraid not," Edd says calmly.

Nazz suddenly yelps, seat screeching on the tile. She glares daggers at Edd. "What the fuck, dude?"

"Oops."

Kevin can't help but snort.

"Kevin!"

He shrugs sheepishly. "I think he may have a point here. For once."

"You wound me," Edd sighs and leans in, pressing a kiss to Kevin's cheek before Kevin can stop him.

The Kankers begin whooping and catcalling and Kevin swears he hears a few others from the table behind them.

"Oh my god! I told you not to kiss me in front of people!" he cries.

"Oh, so I can kiss you in private?" Edd teases, that damn smirk returning to his face.

"No!"

"You may be his ' _boyfriend_ '," Nazz growls, "but if you mess with him like that again I'll kill you."

"Relax," Edd says coldly. "It was necessary for the illusion. People will question it if we just run around holding hands and never kiss."

Nazz grits her teeth but says no more.

Edd nudges Kevin gently. "You have to play along, too, you know."

"Over my dead body…" he mutters, glaring at the tray.

"Come on. Give it a chance. I promise you this will be worth it in more ways than one."

Kevin rolls his eyes. He must admit Edd has a point. Studying Edd for a moment, watching him unwrap the burger carefully, he makes a decision. Kevin very hesitantly leans against his side and rests his head on Edd's shoulder. Edd pauses to look at him, then smiles softly (the warmth and openness of his usually drawn face makes Kevin's insides squirm) before going back to the burger. Kevin picks at the fries until Edd is done with his half of the burger and hands it off to him.

"This is so weird," Nazz mutters just shaking her head and looking at them.

Kevin laughs, all high and nervous. "It really is."

With a few minutes of lunch left, Edd drags Kevin to his locker. Kevin doesn't question it.

Turns out the outside of Edd's locker isn't the only thing labeled, everything inside is too.

"What the hell is up with you and labels?" Kevin mutters.

Edd bristles slightly and Kevin cocks his head, honestly surprised by his reaction. "It's a habit. I'm a little OCD."

"Oh…" Kevin murmurs. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"I know you didn't, Pumpkin," Edd says and smirks. "Don't worry so much. I'm not delicate."

Kevin nods hesitantly, watching as Edd retrieves something from within it.

"I'm not going to walk you to class, okay?"

"Okay…" Kevin murmurs and worries his lip.

Edd withdraws his black and white jacket, one of the ones all of the swim team members have with their names printed along the back and a shark fin beneath. Edd holds it out to Kevin expectantly. The smaller boy just looks confused.

"Wear it, dork."

"What? Why?"

Edd rolls his eyes. "Listen, just trust me. Wear this and it will keep you safe. Or would you rather I label you again?"

It's Kevin's turn to roll his eyes. "Weirdo."

"Do it, okay? I don't want anyone touching you," he says lowly.

Kevin blushes and nods quickly. Letting his bag slide from his shoulder, Kevin tries to place it on the floor but Edd quickly takes it for him. "Thanks," Kevin murmurs and takes the jacket hesitantly.

It's way too big for him which makes him blush and frown but when he looks up at Edd he finds the blue of his eyes is almost entirely consumed by his pupils and his lips are slightly parted. Kevin's face burns but it makes his stomach warm in a pleasant way.

"Uh…" he bites his lips and gulps.

"I should give you some of my shirts, too…" Edd murmurs, almost to himself. "You'd look so adorable…"

Kevin jolts back. "Okay! Thanks for your jacket! I'm gonna go!" he says too loudly.

Before he can dart away, however, Edd grabs his shoulders and draws him into a - _he's going to kiss him!_ No, it's a hug. A very warm and even a little painful hug. Edd squeezes Kevin tightly and Kevin finds his arms going around Edd's back automatically.

"I know you don't want this but I'm going to make sure you do."

Kevin scoffs. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm going to romance you, Kevin Barr."

Kevin's chest feels all light and fluttery. "You really don't need to do that-"

"I want to," Edd insists and presses a kiss to the top of Kevin's head before releasing him. "Here," he slips his hand into Kevin's and then reluctantly back out leaving one of the nurse's late slips in Kevin's palm, "just in case you're late."

The bell rings, signaling for them to go to class, and Edd hands Kevin his backpack. "Listen, I'm not going to practice tonight so meet me at my car. I want to drive you home."

Kevin nods quickly. "Only if you really want to."

"I want to, I _really_ do. And… maybe I could stay for dinner?"

Kevin laughs. "Yeah, sure." He licks his lips nervously and looks up at Edd through his eyelashes. He quickly stands on his tiptoes and presses a chaste kiss to Edd's cheek. "Thank you," he breathes out in a rush and then darts for class.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you all for reading and your lovely feedback! It means more than you know! Sorry this next chapter took so long and for it's inhuman length. Forgive me... You can follow me at my tumblr, lavirarose, my all Kevedd blog, and feel free to message me!

Most of the French is self explanatory or explained within the text but just to clarify, _  
Ma citrouille_ \- My pumpkin  
 _Ta citrouille_ \- Your pumpkin  
 _Mon coeur_ \- My heart  
More will be included at the end of the text, too!

* * *

As soon as Kevin is away from Edd, the space giving him a chance to properly clear his head, he begins regretting everything.

Pretending to date Edd - why had he thought that was a good idea? Probably because he was so overwhelmed by the entire situation.

First, Edd is gay. Okay, maybe not so surprising considering the fact that he's never dated anyone from their school (other than Marie) despite how girls flock to him. Hindsight is 20-20 and all. Now the way Edd avoids the affection of even the most beautiful and talented of Peach Creek's female populus makes a lot more sense and makes the truth seem pretty obvious.

Second, his parents are seriously never around. Kevin thinks back to all of the times he saw a car pull into Edd's driveway late at night just to find it gone the next day, he had always assumed it must have been Edd's mom or dad but apparently not. So, that raises the question, who stops by Edd's house in the middle of the night every once in awhile?

Now that Kevin thinks about it, he can't remember the last time he saw the car. Maybe he's made it into a bigger deal than it actually is. Maybe he just doesn't want to think about how truly alone Edd must be.

No parents for six months might be what every teenage boy says he wants but it makes Kevin's gut clench with fear. Who buys Edd groceries? Who pays the bills? Who takes care of him when he's sick? God, what a fucked up life that must be. Kevin would just die; the thought of going off to college next year is enough to make his knees shake but this - this is like a nightmare.

Third, Edd actually kissed him. Not on the lips but dangerously close which was surprisingly more intimate than if he had laid one on the poor boy. Plus he's acting dangerously (pleasantly) possessive of Kevin since the incident with the two football players.

" _I hate that they touched you_ ," he had said and his eyes were so dark and his whole demeanor so present, intimate, overwhelming that the words are still bouncing around in Kevin's head.

Was that a good thing or a bad thing? In ways it might save Kevin from the other bullies but what if Edd decides he doesn't want _anyone_ touching Kevin? It's hard to tell how much of his possessive behavior is serious or not or how deep it may run within him.

That might be the scariest thing to Kevin, the thought that he's unwittingly given himself to someone who wants to _possess_ him - to _own_ him like a _toy_.

Last but certainly not least, Double fucking D confessed that he has a crush on Kevin and intends to "romance" him, whatever the fuck that means.

 _Romance_. Eddward wants to _romance_ Kevin Barr. Eddward fucking Vincent.

And he kissed Edd on the cheek but let's not get too into that. It was just a kiss. On the cheek. No big deal.

No big deal.

Kevin has no clue what is going on. It's like he's been thrown into an alternate universe and all hell is breaking loose.

This must be another game, another way to tease him. Eddward simply can't be interested in Kevin Barr, the scrawny, pale geek that serves as Peach Creek's resident punching bag. Edd is the beautiful intelligent and talented star, bully and bad boy. He's lusted after, loved and hated by everyone in equal measure. It just doesn't make sense for someone like Edd to like someone like Kevin.

It makes a lot more sense that someone like Edd would do this to hurt someone like Kevin.

Even if he's gay, Edd can still have literally anyone at school as his boyfriend. He's the heartthrob. Gorgeous, smart, talented and rich? Even if he's an abrasive ass, how could he not be considered the perfect man by the masses?

Plus he speaks French which, according to Nazz, is perhaps the sexiest thing about him (Kevin doesn't get it but maybe that's because he's tired of being called " _citrouille_ " all the goddamn time).

What if this is just a plot to make his life hell? What if he sent Rebecca Bran to tell Kevin that he's gay just to make it all the more believable? What if this ends with Kevin's heart broken along with his will and body?

Edd is brilliant and vicious, Kevin wouldn't put it past him to use his genius to concoct some sort of revenge on Kevin for taking his hat.

If Kevin were in his place he would do just that. Those terrible scars, the fear in Edd's eyes - hell, Kevin sort of wants to punish himself for it. He can't get over the honest horror that Double D had so obviously felt not to mention Kevin's own disgust with himself upon seeing the marks marring Edd's delicate skin.

The image of Edd, so relaxed, pale and soft around the edges, terribly scarred and harmed, is seared into Kevin's memory. He feels sick to his stomach just thinking about it. Bastard or not, somehow seeing someone as beautiful as Edd be so wounded is just not right, and it's not the physical wounds, it's the obvious psychological ones that made Edd so desperately afraid in that moment, the ones that have led him to hiding himself for _years_.

This is probably all just another way to tear Kevin down, to make him hurt and embarrassed and Kevin can't even blame him. He can't feel any bitterness or resentment only resignation because despite the years of torment he's suffered at Edd's hands he has crossed such a terrible line that he can't forgive himself. Yet he's still horrified of what is to come.

Christ, how could he be so foolish as to trust the Shark of Peach Creek?

Beneath his good looks and aplomb, Eddward Vincent is a fucking beast who wants nothing more than to make others hurt and to lord his power over them.

That's what Marie had said, even, if not in so many words: Edd enjoys making others feel like lesser beings. Rebecca Bran, his teammate, had said it too: an "absolute beast", she had called him, _an "absolute beast"_.

Yet the adoration in Edd's eyes is not something that can be faked, so warm that it wormed its way straight to Kevin's heart and lodged itself there in the form of a burr of hope that he can't quite shake. As sure as he is that this is all just some horrible trap, Kevin can't let go of the hope (the sick, twisted, stupid hope).

Even this has to be a little too far for Edd. Dating the dork of the school? The _male_ mathlete? Making the entire school think he likes Kevin, that they're in a serious relationship? Surely his reputation is going to take a hit, not just because Kevin is a dork or because he's male but just because he's poor, at least compared to Double D with his brand new car and his friends the Kankers, the richest kids to walk the halls, and even Jimmy who wears fucking Prada.

Eddward is so, so out of his league in every way imaginable that it's not even funny.

But he confessed to Kevin. Not to Marie Kanker, his best friend and beautiful, brilliant ex. Not to Rachel Odette the gorgeous cheerleader who Kevin has seen trying to flirt with Edd. Not even to Jacob Messer, the only other gay student Kevin is aware of and second in his class, only behind Edd, who Double D talks to constantly. Jacob makes more sense than Kevin. _Anyone_ makes more sense than Kevin.

Kevin can't help but remember how Edd had touched him, all piano fingers and soft skin. The way Edd had kissed him… it was so gentle and sincere that just thinking about it turns Kevin's stomach into a mess of butterflies and heat. He had never imagined Edd's touch could be so tender, even back when he had a crush on the boy. It was so, so _sincere_.

Then Kevin recalls that moment in the locker room when the swimming coach came in. One second Edd had been tearful and cold, the next he was practically jovial, expertly hiding his emotions. The memory makes Kevin's stomach sink and his pulse pound in his head. Edd has proven himself to be a good actor, it's only logical to think this is another of his parts.

Kevin must admit he's in a dangerous position. He wants more than anything for this to be honest, for Edd to actually like him and want him, making Kevin all the easier to fool.

He never expected it to be so easy for his old crush to rear its ugly head, especially after all the years of torment (no matter how innocent Edd's actual intentions may have been or any of the kind actions Kevin failed to notice), but here it is, threatening to consume him.

Now he remembers all of the good things about Edd, the things that made Kevin fall for him in the first place, and it's making this whole situation messy and confusing. The science fair, the late nights spent working together, the grade-saving homework corrections, the fact that Edd protected him from the football team captain, all of it.

Kevin has felt very lonely these past few years but only now is he realizes just _how_ lonely he really is. He wants someone to be with and he wants them badly. He's never been in a proper relationship, never had someone to call his own and someone to call him theirs. It makes him feel a little shitty, to be honest. For all of his smarts and success, he doesn't have anyone other than Nazz and even she has many friends other than him.

It's not so much that he likes Edd, he realizes, it's that he likes the idea of this beautiful, talented man taking interest in him, protecting him, _wanting_ him. That makes him feel sick with himself.

Is he really this shallow and desperate?

He is. He really is.

After years spent convinced he was going to be alone with no romantic life whatsoever, whether his partner was female or male, he feels hollow inside, like he needs something to fill the void. He wants someone. Anyone, apparently.

Also, surely someone is going to beat him up. This is such a fucking stupid idea. Now that everyone's suspicions are confirmed about Kevin's sexuality they're totally going to slaughter him.

Characteristic cynicism overtaking him, Kevin keeps his head down and gnaws on his lip until it bleeds. The pain is oddly soothing to his rattling mind. He may or may not clutch at Edd's hoodie which he just put on a few moments ago upon Edd's insistence.

He's heading to class, looking for signs of bullies around every corner, but no one stops him. No one trips him or shoulders him or knocks his books from his hands.

A hand comes down on his back and he nearly has a heart attack (this is it, afterall), whipping his head around to take in the bigger boy with comically wide eyes.

It's one of the swim team members, Jason Shore, a tall boy with even more freckles than Kevin decorating his dark skin and the loudest laugh he's ever heard. "Hey man! About time!" he says happily and grins.

He's patting Kevin's back.

Holy shit, has he gone down the rabbit hole?

He holds up his fist ( _gonna punch_ -) and it takes Kevin a moment to respond in turn, bumping his knuckles against Jason's. Jason smiles good naturedly and is on his way with a "So happy for you guys! Bye, Pumpkin!"

Kevin takes a shaky breath and moves to step back. He bumps into someone and yelps; delicate hands grasp his elbow, steadying him. It's a girl he's seen around but doesn't know by name. Another swimmer with pretty brown eyes and thick blond hair. Behind her stands another three girls, one a swimmer and the other two cheerleaders. She smiles at him sweetly and his heart skips.

"You look super cute in his jacket, Pumpkin!" she singsongs and before he has the chance to collect himself she presses a quick kiss to his cheek which makes him freeze. "See you at the meet, sweetie!" she says warmly.

"Bye, sweetie!" one of the cheerleaders croons with a sugary, sincere grin and flutters her fingers at him

Then the girls are gone and so is Jason leaving Kevin blushing in the middle of the hall and horribly confused.

No one touches him other than that but everyone is looking at him. A few hoot and holler at him but it's all things like "Way to go!" or "Get some, nerd!" which make Kevin blush so hard he thinks he might faint. Even the crassest comments are not hurtful or mean, only painfully suggestive. It leaves his head swimming.

In the end he is slightly late to class. When he enters the room everyone starts oohing and ahing and a few people clap obnoxiously, catcalling and whistling.

Poor Ms. James looks horribly confused. He offers her the late slip, face aflame, too embarrassed to really meet her eyes.

"Is… everything _okay_ , Kevin?"

"Yeah, Pumpkin!" a kid from the back of the class calls. Oh, it's Rebecca.

"He's more than okay!" another cries.

Suddenly the class erupts into laughter but it's not… at his expense, he realizes. They're excited about it, they've been gossipping about it, but they aren't disapproving in the slightest. It's like his chest opens up and all of the fears and anxieties hounding him seep out with his breath. They are just amused, and _not_ at his expense, not at all.

He smiles shyly, his chest suddenly warm and his stomach fluttery.

Ms. James raises an eyebrow, amused smirk on her face. "Go ahead and take a seat."

"Back here!" Rebecca calls. He hesitantly listens against his better judgement and the voice in the back of his mind reminding him that Edd is not to be trusted, heading to the back of the class to join her.

He yelps when a hand comes down on his back again, but it doesn't hurt. "Good for you, man," one of his classmates says and is so serious and emphatic about it, eyes wide and head bobbing in approval, Kevin can't help the nervous bubble of laughter that escapes his throat.

"Thanks…"

He sits in front of Rebecca and next to one of the male swimmers, he thinks his name is Roberto but everyone calls him Ro, and he grins so broadly that Kevin thinks it must hurt.

"We've been trying to get Double D to ask you out for years now!" Ro laughs. "It's about time you guys got together!"

Kevin can't help but gulp and look away; he's still grinning like a fool. "Yeah…"

"Hey," Rebecca says excitedly and leans in, dropping her voice. "Was it because of what I told you earlier?"

"Ah, well," he laughs and twists his fingers together, "I might have mentioned it to him."

Rebecca squeals in delight.

"We should get you a proper jacket since you're officially one of us now," one suggests excitedly.

"He might as well have been already," another girl pipes up and smiles gently. It's Mary from his AP Biology class last semester. "We always notice you at the meets, Kevin."

He smiles despite himself.

"So, can we keep calling you Pumpkin or do you prefer Kevin?"

Kevin shakes his head smile only growing. He's not sure what comes over him but he finds himself saying, "Pumpkin is fine if you guys are used to it."

Kevin isn't bothered at all, not once. No one even looks at him funny.

It is the most freeing feeling in the world.

It makes him feel high, especially with swimmers all smiling at him and acting like he's one of the team himself. Every single one of them know him as Pumpkin and they apparently have been told about how he won the science fair with Edd and someone even mentions that Edd said he's into robots. Edd apparently talks about him a lot, actually.

Kevin tries and fails not to be flattered. But it's also confusing. Was he really the only one who didn't realize Edd's feelings?

Rebecca gave him her phone number, one of them (Danny Lawrence) asked him to help him with his math homework ("Edd says you're a genius at this stuff, man, please oh please save my ass - oh shit, don't tell _him_ I cursed, _please_ "), and a couple even told him he should come swimming with them (and promptly gasped when he informed them he can't swim for the life of him).

Edd's teammates are all too genuinely excited about their relationship for the whole thing to be some grand scheme.

For the first time in a very, very long time he doesn't feel like an outcast.

This whole pretending to date thing is working out better than Kevin ever expected. Only now he feels guilty for lying to all of these nice swimmers who want to be his friend and are giving him such honest smiles. Surprisingly, his guilt doesn't dampen his pure relief and joy though it rests heavily at the back of his mind.

By the time he reaches his locker he can't stop smiling and his grin only grows when he sees Nazz.

"This was the best choice I ever made," he tells her immediately and her eyebrows shoot up. "Everyone is being so _nice_ to me."

"So it's really working?" she asks and doesn't even try to hide her shock.

"Yeah! No one has touched me. Not at all. No shoving in the halls, no stealing my homework, no noogies or slurs. Apparently the whole swim team likes me, too! Like, sincerely likes me. I'm not even exaggerating."

Nazz surprises him by enveloping him in a hug which he quickly returns. "I haven't seen you this happy in… well, _forever_!" she cries and holds him out at arm's length. "I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm glad you're dating the school bully."

They both burst into nervous laughter.

Kevin thinks back to yesterday and how all of this began because he was feeling protective of Nazz, not to mention crushing on her ever so slightly, and now he's here. Falling for Eddward. What the hell happened?

His loneliness suddenly rises like bile in his throat. Yesterday, he was alone except for this wonderful, caring girl, the only person to even spare him a passing glance and _not_ intentionally hurt him, and now he's surrounded by people who like him, even if it's solely because they think he's dating their friend it feels like the edges of the hole within him are being mended.

He realizes he may be crushed if Edd were to withdraw this offer, if they were to drop this act. It's only been a few hours and he feels completely dependent upon this terrible, cruel boy.

"Listen, later I'd like to talk, if that's okay," he says lowly. "I really need to talk to you. So much is happening, I just need to run some stuff past you."

His chest feels painfully tight as he says it, feeling the fear rise from the pit of his stomach and threatening to suffocate him. He's not sure why, Nazz is his best and only friend after all, but maybe that's just it. Maybe if he tells her about all of these horrible thoughts and feelings she'll be disgusted. He would be.

Nazz nods quickly, her eyes flicking away from his face and her lips curling ever so slightly.

"Choice," he says, still buzzing with excitement and nerves and terror.

An arm curls around Kevin's shoulders and he's pulled against Edd's side somewhat forcefully yet not harshly. He can't help but jolt.

He huffs, craning his neck to look up at the taller boy. "Hello to you, too."

Edd smirks down at him, eyes warm with mirth. "Good afternoon, Pumpkin. I trust I'm not interrupting anything."

"Would you actually care if you were?"

Edd smirks darkly and lowers his mouth to Kevin's ear. "Why should I? You're mine…"

It takes a moment for the words to register but when they do it's like a shock sent straight to the poor boy's heart. Possessive, domineering, demanding, cruel - he has made a deal with the closest thing to a devil he's ever known and-

Edd draws away and brushes his thumb over the smaller boy's cheek. "As much joy as I get from making you squirm, _citrouille_ , I feel I must tell you I'm just joking."

Kevin blushes fiercely and punches Edd's ribs gently. "Shut up."

Edd only grins (damn that cute gap for making Kevin's chest all warm and fluttery) and draws Kevin closer in order to press a kiss to his head.

Why is that so gentle and sincere and so, so painfully confusing?

Kevin wants to crawl in a hole and just die.

Nazz raises an eyebrow. "Well… I'll talk to you two ' _lovebirds_ ' later…" she says turning but stops, giving Edd a dark look. "And I asked Marie."

"Finally."

"Did she say yes?" Kevin asks eagerly, honestly thankful for a change in topic.

Nazz blushes softly and smiles.

Edd scoffs. "Of course she did, Pumpkin. Marie is as into Nazz as your little girlfriend is into her."

Nazz's lovestruck expression drops and she rolls her eyes. "Bye guys."

"Don't be a jerk," Kevin orders but he finds he can't truly be irritated.

He slips from Edd's grasp and opens his locker. He carefully pulls out the books he needs and turns to find Edd fiddling with his label maker.

"Oh no, don't you dare-"

"Relax, dork," he smirks and before Kevin can stop him a label is being placed upon his locker that reads "Property of DD" just like the one on Edd's.

"Jesus."

"Just another protective measure, _ma citrouille_."

"Uh-huh, sure. I think you just have a possessive streak."

"Oh, most definitely. But can you blame me?" he chuckles as he runs his thumb across the label to ensure it stays. His face suddenly falls, blue eyes pinning Kevin. "Speaking of, I heard about what happened in the hall."

Kevin's brow furrows. "What?"

Edd gives him a bored look.

"I seriously don't know what you're talking about. No one has hurt me or anything and all of your teammates are being super nice."

"Maybe a little _too_ nice…"

Kevin scoffs. "What are you talking about?"

"Melanie McKinsey," he says rolling his eyes.

"I don't even know who that is."

"Oh really?" he says mockingly. "So Jason Shore was just lying when he said she dared to kiss you?"

Kevin's face flushes and he grimaces. "Holy shit, it was just a kiss on the cheek. I don't even know her."

Edd grabs the back of the boy's neck and leans in until their noses are about to brush. Kevin gulps half afraid he's about to be beat up, half afraid he's about to be kissed and unsure which would be worse.

Edd's blue eyes study Kevin's green for a brief moment and Kevin feels as if he must be able to see every single thought flitting through Kevin's head while those blue eyes reveal nothing.

"But," he says finally, voice chillingly low, "you're mine and, what's worse, she _knows_ it."

"Edd," Kevin says weakly and looks away, surprised when Edd's grip leaves him. "Don't make me regret this deal."

Edd's blue eyes narrow and he sucks a breath in through his teeth. "I'm just protecting you," he bites.

"You don't need to ' _protect me_ ' from a sweet girl giving me a little kiss. The only reason they're paying attention to me at all is to get to you, anyway…" Kevin mumbles and squirms.

Edd sighs softly and draws Kevin into a hug, resting his chin on his head. "Shut up…"

Kevin rolls his eyes but says no more, carefully resting his head on Edd's chest. His heartbeat is there, warm and almost shocking; Kevin almost didn't expect him to have a heart, he realizes, as ridiculous as that sounds.

Edd draws away and scoops the textbooks from Kevin's grasp. "Come on, Pumpkin, let's get you home."

Kevin follows him out to his Prius, doing his best to ignore all of the guys praising Edd as they go, catcalling and smacking Edd's back fondly. He especially ignores the grin that's threatening to split Edd's face in two but he can't do the same to the hand sliding ever closer to Kevin's ass.

"If you grab my ass," Kevin says through clenched teeth, "I will punch you in front of all of your jock friends."

The asshole only laughs and teases his fingertips across the edge of Kevin's pants. Kevin doubts he's going to survive this.

* * *

Edd waits on him patiently when he goes to get his bike. He's not sure why that surprises him but it does. With that finally tucked away in the back of the car and his bag and books in the backseat, Kevin climbs hesitantly into the front so he's sitting with Edd.

"So, no one else touched you, right?" Edd asks, trying (and failing) to sound casual as he starts the car. Kevin gulps, unsure about how to interpret that let alone how to _feel_ about it.

"Women flocked to me. Panties dropped. It was an orgy worthy of the Romans," Kevin snarks, practically defensive, and Edd chokes on air before turning his wide eyes to the smaller boy. Kevin can't help but smirk. "Geez, I'm just kidding. Keep your eyes on the road."

"I would appreciate it if you didn't _joke_ like that," Edd grits out, face rosy. "It's lewd."

Kevin giggles and presses a hand over his eyes. "Come on, don't tell me the big, bad shark is a virgin…"

Edd sniffs. "I told you I have only had two relationships, one of which was with Marie."

"So? There's a difference between sex and a relationship," Kevin persists and at this point it's just to see Edd's reactions. It's practically empowering to get a rise out of the cool and calm shark.

Edd looks so mortified that Kevin can't help the peal of laughter which escapes him.

"Don't be obscene!"

"How is that obscene?" he gasps out between giggles.

Edd scoffs. "Well, you tell me, Mr. Barr, have you lost your virginity?"

"Nah," Kevin replies easily. It's one of the few things he doesn't let himself get hung up on. "I'm just a dork, remember?"

"I hardly see what that has to do with it."

"I mean girls don't run to me the way they do to you."

Edd looks at him furtively out of the corner of his eyes. "Is that a hint of jealousy I hear?"

Kevin shrugs and sighs. "I'm just lonely, I guess…" he admits. "A senior and I haven't even been kissed…"

As soon as he's said it, Kevin wishes he could take it back, his face flushed and throat tight with his embarrassment. Sure he sort of mentioned it during the whole kissing incident in the nurse's office but Edd had been pretty distracted at the time, not to mention he and Edd seem to be sharing secrets like it's going out of style, but he definitely shouldn't have said this. This is almost worse than anything else, even admitting his sexuality.

Edd makes this soft noise, almost pleased Kevin thinks. "I envy you that."

"What?" his voice rings with shock. "Envy the fact that I've never kissed anyone?"

Edd hums. "My first kiss was horrible and I've never had a good one, really. Not…" his Adam's apple bobs, "not one that I haven't regretted."

"What about today?" Kevin asks before he can stop himself and his stomach flips at his own brashness and stupidity.

"' _Today_ '?"

"You… kissed me, sort of."

Edd smirks but doesn't face him. "Of course I don't regret that but it wasn't a real kiss. I mean, it wasn't the type of kiss lover's share."

"So you're only counting French kissing or what?"

"I just… I felt the need to comfort you. I didn't mean it to be sexual in nature, that's what I'm trying to say. I didn't even consider it in that light or I wouldn't have done it."

Kevin's cheeks burn with his embarrassment and self-loathing. He can't believe he just said that. Of course Edd doesn't actually-

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, Kevin."

The boy jerks his head up to find Edd's face stoic once more, his eyes focused on the road.

Did he really just use Kevin's actual name? Wow, that's almost… uncomfortable in and of itself.

They're barely five minutes from their homes now, though, which is a relief because Kevin can't stand this emotional rollercoaster.

"In all seriousness, I would like to kiss you but I know you are not attracted to me in the way I am attracted to you. So please don't worry about me… doing something unwanted. I won't touch you outside of the school, either, if you so desire."

Kevin's mouth is so dry it feels as if it is sealed shut.

"I realize that my previous behavior is-is what led to your…" his throat is too tight to continue.

The silence that follows is stifling. Kevin looks at Edd cautiously, his chest tight in an unpleasant way. "Edd… I," he gulps thickly (no, he should _not_ be saying this, no, no, _no_ ), "I have to thank you."

"What? What for?"

"I- Christ, no one even looked at me in a mean way. Your teammates are all treating me like I'm one of them and everyone is just… I've never been treated like this. And I know it must be, uh, less than ideal for you. This situation. And… just, thanks. Thanks for protecting me and stuff and… yeah."

"It's the least I can do," Edd says hollowly, voice strained.

"You don't… need to feel sorry or something."

"Yet I do," he says dryly. "And I guess this whole thing probably just feels worse for you - as if I am only extending my tyranny," he adds, voice wry and cold.

He's angry, but not at Kevin. Kevin's chest feels both tight and flooded with a sinking feeling and he doesn't know to do.

"I…" (no, fuck no Kevin, no), "have a confession to make."

Edd takes a stuttering breath.

"I sort of…" (this is a horrible, horrible idea, stop, stop, _stop -_ why is my mouth still moving _fuck_ ), "like it."

Edd suddenly breaks, so calmly pulling onto the side of the road that Kevin is afraid he's about to be murdered or something, before viciously putting the car in park. Kevin's heart is in his throat, his stomach is a mess, and when he turns to Edd his breath leaves him in a rush.

"Kevin," he says deeply, voice rough and warm yet demanding; it makes Kevin's knees shake. Blue eyes rove across his face taking in each and every flicker of emotion. "Kevin, I need you to tell me what that means before I do something rash."

"It-it means that your whole ' _romancing_ ' is working too well," Kevin stutters, stomach lurching.

Kevin shuts his eyes tightly, not sure what to expect. He hears the snap of Edd's seatbelt unlocking and then the whisk as it automatically jerks away. And suddenly Edd is - oh God, Edd is climbing into Kevin's lap, kneeling with his knees on either side of Kevin's waist and bowing over him so his head doesn't hit the roof of the car.

"What are-are you- what? Edd?" Kevin cries out in a terribly high voice that doesn't sound like his own.

Burning up, Kevin's wide eyes meet Edd's and he shudders at the fierceness of his gaze. He lets out an embarrassing noise that's disturbingly close to a whine as the taller boy's hands come to his shoulders, grasping them and then sliding up his neck to knock off his hat and comb through his short hair.

Kevin turns his face upwards, eyes fluttering shut, awaiting the kiss that is sure to come but instead he's pulled into a bruising hug and Edd presses his face into Kevin's hair.

"Jesus," Kevin mumbles and shivers when his lips brush against Edd's neck. His skin is so soft - Kevin never expected that. Once again his senses are assaulted by the smell of chlorine and baby shampoo and he lets out a high pitched laugh at how innocent the scent is.

Edd shifts and there is another soft click and the whir of Kevin's seatbelt drawing away, forcing him to pull his arm from within it. Kevin maneuvers himself to the side so Edd can half sit in the seat, half in his lap, his legs somewhat draped over Kevin's own, arms never leaving the smaller boy.

He presses a kiss to Kevin's cheek that makes the boy still, holding his breath. His heart is beating so fast and hard Kevin feels dizzy.

"I won't kiss you," Edd rumbles and the sound of his rough voice does something insane and beautiful to Kevin's stomach. "Not on the lips. If that's not what you want."

Kevin makes a strained noise that Edd seems to take as consent (and it is, that's the worst part) and trails delicate kisses all over Kevin's closest cheek that actually tickle and make him giggle somewhat hysterically.

And who can blame him? The Shark is practically in his lap, clinging to him for dear life. Some hysterics are to be expected.

"Oh," Kevin gasps in shock as his skin is peppered with careful, chaste kisses. "Ah- Edd?"

Kevin's hands accidentally brush across Edd's abdomen and fuck does he have some abs, Kevin can feel them even through his shirt and it makes his stomach clench. The boy's body should not feel so good, so perfect, against his own. Like a fool, he finds himself simply staring at his hand pressed against the flat of Edd's abdomen, a stark white against the black of the other boy's tight shirt which clings to the edges of his muscles and rides up ever so slightly so Kevin can see the barest hints of his hipbones.

Finally Edd releases him long enough to shift his legs off and draw Kevin into his own lap, eliciting a shrill shriek from the red head. Edd laughs, laughs brightly and warmly and oh lord does it do things to Kevin's stomach, and draws Kevin to his chest, cradling him close, hands clutching at him possessively.

Edd has beautiful hands, warm and soft with elegant fingers, and they feel unnaturally good as they press and push and pull Kevin, keeping him at Edd's chest as if the boy is afraid he'll disappear.

And Kevin lets them.

He lets Edd's hands guide him close, so close it's as if Edd wants to just trap him there forever, and it feels good to let go, to stop thinking, to just feel. It's so warm, so right yet wrong that it sends tingles down his spine and makes him only press himself closer.

Oh shit, those are certainly some muscles Kevin's head is resting against (Kevin actually feels a little shitty because he's like a wet noodle in comparison).

Edd kisses his forehead.

"I'm really not sure what I'm doing," he says gently, breath stirring Kevin's bangs. "I'm basically just acting on instinct, doing what feels right. Tell me if you… if it's _not_. I've never been with anyone. I can't recall the last time I was… hugged or… something like that."

Kevin nuzzles against the other boy's neck on instinct only to freeze upon realizing what he's doing (holy shit, holy shit, holy shit he just did that - this is happening and, what's worse, Kevin is reciprocating). But he can't deny the thrill it sends up his spine, the pleasant heat and shivers. He shouldn't want this but it feels nice and surreal, so surreal he can almost pretend it's not real at all.

"It's… this is okay," he says weakly. "Don't you dare grope me. Or-or pull this shit at school. I real-ly," his voice breaks and he coughs lightly to cover it up. "I… You really do like me?"

"Pumpkin," Edd tuts softly, "I already told you. Of course I do… _Tu es à moi_."

Kevin huffs softly. "I don't know French…" he mutters and fingers Edd's dogtags.

"It's a French saying. Something you say to your lover…"

"And what does it mean?"

Edd kisses his forehead once more and allows his lips to linger. "You are mine."

Kevin shudders and heat pools in his stomach as he presses his face almost violently into Edd's chest.

This shouldn't feel good, this shouldn't feel good at all. This is wrong and yet it makes Kevin's heart beat fast and everything feels so warm. It's like Kevin is alive for the first time, his senses flooded by Edd, by another human being, by his pulse, his breath, his touch. Kevin, after so long wanting just this, is going to become addicted if he's not careful.

"Possessive," he mutters but he doesn't sound angry or disgruntled the way he should, he sounds gentle, at most resigned.

"I am, I won't deny it."

Hesitantly, Kevin sits back and peers up at Edd's face. "When did this… happen?"

"Hm?"

"When did you - I don't know, start to like me, I guess?"

"Immediately," Edd answers almost as soon as the words leave Kevin's lips.

Kevin releases a surprised laugh. "What do you mean?"

"I mean it was practically love at first sight. I fell instantly."

Kevin gulps and bites his lip.

" _Instantly_."

Surely he can't mean it, surely this is just another way to tease him. This can't be happening. Edd Vincent cannot possibly have harbored a crush on Kevin for the past four years.

He feels lightheaded. His chest is warm and lovely and terrible.

"I remember I noticed you because you stood out despite all of your attempts not to. You were quiet and you never spoke unless you had something important to say. I find that trait attractive."

"You would…" Kevin laughs breathlessly and smiles up at him. Edd's smirk falls for a moment and Kevin's follows. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to pretend to date you."

Kevin blushes and worries his lips until he tastes blood once more. He knows exactly what Double D means but does his best to pretend he doesn't because it would hurt him so badly if he's wrong. "You don't have to. We can just say it didn't work out, if you really don't want to," he gulps, keeping his eyes focused downwards.

Edd makes a soft noise, lips parting, and Kevin can't tell if it is a simple, nonsensical hum or an actual word in French (his understanding of the language is honestly nonexistent). "I want to _date_ you. _Actually_ date you. To be your boyfriend, Pumpkin, that's what I want." He reaches up to gently cradle Kevin's cheek and swipes his thumb over the blood on Kevin's lips. The action shakes Kevin to the core though he has no clue why.

"I, uh, I just feel like I don't really… I don't even _know you_ , you know?"

Edd hums, his other hand coming to cup Kevin's face, guiding him to tilt his head up slightly. Edd's eyes flitter across Kevin's face then pause, brows furrowing. "It _is_ bruised…" he murmurs as his fingers prod the spot those football players marked with their own digits.

Kevin's stomach clenches. "Are you… _threatening_ me?"

Edd releases him so fast Kevin almost falls into the floor, even in the tight space. "No!" Edd cries and scrambles to hold Kevin close once more. "My lord, Pumpkin! Of course not! I was just- no! I just noticed."

Kevin looks at him closely but his nerves are legitimate, that much is very clear, as is his concern.

"Pumpkin," he murmurs, "I'm sorry. That's not what I meant at all."

Kevin gulps and nods slowly. "Okay."

"Listen," Edd sighs. "I will not ask you out or make any advances whatsoever. Only you can do that and I will respond in turn. Is that alright with you?"

Kevin nods slowly, the new rules sinking in. "So… if I just… climb out of your lap right now and say 'no'-"

"I will stop immediately. Do you want me to stop?"

"No…" Kevin says softly and shyly meets Edd's eyes. "This is… okay."

"Okay. Whatever makes you comfortable, _mon coeur_ ," he croons and presses another kiss to Kevin's forehead before freezing. "Is that-"

"I-I'm okay with it… Just maybe… not in front of my parents - oh _fuck_ , my parents!"

"You really expect to kiss me with that mouth?" Edd tuts teasingly. "Your parents like me, right?"

"Yeah but… I can't lie to them and say we're dating yet I also can't lie to them and say we're not dating."

Edd nuzzles against Kevin's cheek gently, his breath hot and teasing against the pale skin. "I mean… we're basically dating…"

Kevin blushes and looks at Edd cautiously. "I never expected you to be so… _cuddly_ …"

Edd shrugs turning his head away, cheeks pink. "I miss being… touched."

Kevin's chest tightens painfully. "I'm sorry…"

"It's nothing for you to apologize for."

"Still…"

"How about I get you home, Pumpkin, sound good?" Edd murmurs and Kevin nods. "As hard as it is for me to let you go and all…"

Kevin snorts and pushes at him gently before pausing.

"What's wrong, _mon nounours_?" he chuckles softly.

"Why do I get the feeling you're teasing me in French?" Kevin sighs rolling his eyes.

"I'll teach you French, how about that?"

"Okay," Kevin murmurs. His cheeks are a lovely pink which inspires Edd to kiss him once more. "I just thought that I'm up for teaming up in the science fair with you, if you still want to."

Edd grins like a cheshire cat. " _Fantastique_!"

"Okay, cool it with the French or tell me what the hell you're saying."

Eddward rolls his eyes at Kevin's crass language before leaning closer to press a soft kiss to his cheek. " _Ma citrouille_ ," he says softly, his lips brushing against Kevin's skin, and the boy shudders in his arms, "means 'my pumpkin'. _Mon nounours_ means 'my teddybear'."

Kevin barks out a laugh. "You're such a shit."

Despite himself, Edd snorts. "Language, Pumpkin."

Kevin rolls his eyes. "So what should I call you, you sap?"

Edd blinks at him and his face flushes. "Well… whatever you want…"

Gulping, Kevin looks down. "How do you say… 'shark'?"

Edd laughs and tips his head back. When he raises up again there's a fondness in his eyes that makes Kevin look away. "Oh, Pumpkin… It's ' _requin_ '."

"Jesus," Kevin mutters. "That's fucking weird…"

"Language!" Edd huffs and swats at Kevin's thigh; the boy only smirks. "Just repeat after me: _requin_."

Kevin tries but absolutely butchers it (it's worth the embarrassment because Edd's laugh rings out beautifully but he'll never admit it). "Okay, _mon mignon_ _coeur_ ," Edd titters, "I really should take you home."

Kevin narrows his eyes. "Isn't mignon a food or something? Like filet mignon? What the hell?"

Edd tries to suppress his laughter unsuccessfully. "It means 'cute', for lack of a better word. It also means 'tender' which is what filet mignon derives from."

Kevin huffs softly at the amusement in Edd's voice and carefully shifts out of Edd's lap so he can climb back into the driver's seat. "Why _do_ you speak French?"

"Because I _am_ French," Edd laughs. "Do you think I just run around blabbering in some random language?"

Kevin twists his lips.

"You did! Why?"

"I don't know! You just… you don't have an accent or anything."

"I never actually lived in France and my parents weren't around enough for me to pick up the accent, at least not permanently, only the words."

Kevin pulls his seatbelt back into place, throat suddenly tight. "Shit… I'm so sorry, dude…"

"Don't be, it's fine. Better that way…" Edd murmurs, his hand shifting to his hat on impulse. Kevin catches the movement and frowns. "Your mom won't mind me coming over, right? Or your dad?" he asks, voice soft and tense.

"She adores you," Kevin reiterates. "It would make her day to see you. My dad thinks of you as another son, basically, ever since that science fair."

Edd looks at him gratefully. Licking his lips, he hesitantly slides his hand across the console, palm open to Kevin. Kevin's green eyes flicker to meet his blue and his breath stutters at the hope he finds there.

Edd isn't faking a single thing and that knowledge feels simultaneously as if a weight has been lifted from his shoulders and another has been added.

He slips his pale hand into Edd's, admiring the other boy's slender digits as they curl around his palm, his olive contrasting against Kevin's practically peachy skin in an odd way.

"Thank you for giving me a chance."

Kevin squeezes his hand.

* * *

Kevin's mom just about drops the plate she's holding when Kevin walks in with Edd on his heels. She smiles so wide he thinks it must hurt.

"Eddward! I'm so glad you came!"

Kevin glances over his shoulder to find Edd smiling so hopefully, so sincerely that it hurts. "Good afternoon, Ms. Barr. It's good to see you."

She takes a deep breath and just admires him for a minute before drawing him into a tight hug. "Such a polite young man! How was your day, boys?" she asks as she releases Edd.

"Fantastic," Edd supplies immediately and winks at Kevin who rolls his eyes (he tries to hide his smile by turning it into a grimace but both spot it).

"Oh really?" his mother murmurs and raises her eyebrows at Kevin, small smirk working it's way across her face. "What happened?"

Kevin shoots Edd a glare and the taller boy merely grins cheekily. "Eh… we just got to sit together during math and lunch is all."

"Together?" she coos not even trying to hide her pleasure.

"Together," Edd chuckles.

"Anything else…?"

Edd looks to Kevin in askance and Kevin sighs shrugging, cheeks flushed.

Kevin's mother gasps, practically slamming the plate on the table. "You two are dating!"

Kevin chokes on air and stumbles back. Edd grins and winks at her.

" _Mom_!"

"Why didn't you tell me last night?" she whines.

"It only happened today," Edd chuckles. "And we aren't really dating - not yet. We're going to the Valentine's Dance together is all."

She pouts and gives Kevin a meaningful look. "Hm… not yet, huh?"

"No," Kevin huffs.

"Well, why not?"

" _Mom_!"

* * *

After a while, Kevin can't take anymore of his mother and Edd's teasing and drags the taller boy to his room, telling his mom to get them later when dinner is ready.

As soon as he has his door open, Edd digs his heels in and makes a distressed noise, refusing to go further. Kevin looks back at him to find his face frozen in horror. "Uh…"

"Your room… is _atrocious_."

Before Kevin knows what's happening Edd is shoving past him and setting his bag on the bed. Kevin rolls his eyes and simply watches as Edd pulls a pair of rubber gloves (what the actual fuck, Double D?) from his bag and begins picking up his dirty laundry.

"Double D."

"Kevin," he sniffs.

"You're crazy."

"Not as crazy as you for living in this _cesspool_."

Kevin can't help but chuckle. "Fine, I'll help if you really want to do this _now_."

"There's no way I'm staying in this room otherwise. Now go get a vacuum for Christ's sake."

By the time Edd is satisfied, Kevin feels as if his room is completely different. The weird thing is how fast Edd did it, too. It hardly took an hour.

All of his papers are organized, his books in alphabetical order, and he can actually see the floor. It's almost unnatural. He tells Edd as much and earns such a disgusted look in response that makes him nearly die laughing.

With all of that done, Edd sits on the edge of the bed and looks at him expectantly. Kevin raises an eyebrow, somewhat confused.

"Do recall I won't be making anymore advances."

Kevin's face flushes. "Just what are you expecting to do tonight?"

It's Edd's turn to blush. "So lewd. Why is that your first response? I just… I would like to spend time with you - doing something other than cleaning, that is."

Kevin smirks slightly and falls back onto the bed by Edd's side. "What do you want to do? Plot your final takeover of the science fair?"

Edd chuckles softly. "All we have ever spoken of is school and work. Tell me what you like to do besides math and robotics."

"Uh… more math and robotics?"

Edd gazes back at the smaller boy fondly before laying on his stomach by his side. His blue eyes stay trained on Kevin's green once more. "Nothing else?"

"Not really. I play some videogames but… nothing major… I like…" he coughs and turns his head to the side. "Don't make fun of me."

"Wouldn't dream of it, Pumpkin."

"Yeah right," Kevin sighs and closes his eyes. "Okay, when I was little I really wanted to be a football player…"

Edd titters softly and crawls closer on his elbows. "Really? Such a barbaric sport as that?"

Kevin shrugs helplessly and presses his hands to his face. "I just… I like it, I guess. I don't know. I just like watching it and stuff. It sort of kills me that the football team harrasses me so much or I would watch all of their games…"

"I can remedy that, _citrouille_ ," he says gently.

Kevin can't help the hopeful look that crosses his face as he turns his face to Edd. "You… you really don't have to…"

"We could go to the next game… as a _date_ …" he chuckles and smirks suggestively.

Kevin barks out a laugh and shoves at the other boy's shoulder. "You're incorrigible."

"Yes, yes I am."

"Also, football season is over."

"I'll make them play," he grumbles.

Kevin laughs breathlessly and runs a hand through his hair so his hat falls off and to the ground. That shocks him for a moment for no real reason and he turns to Edd.

"What's wrong, _ma citrouille_?"

"I… please don't take this the wrong way but do you… Can I ask you something? About your… _hat_ …"

Edd's face is perfectly blank. He blinks once, jaw twitching. "I have been expecting you to."

Kevin's brow furrows slightly before he realizes. His chest seizes and he makes a low, harsh noise. " _No_. No, not-not that. I know it's not my place to ask you something like… that."

Edd's face suddenly softens and his eyes flit across Kevin's own, taking it in again. "Oh…"

"I was going to ask how you manage to keep that damn thing on all of the time. I wear my hat a lot but it seems like it would get uncomfortable, especially with those bobby pins and crap. Sort of a stupid question but…" Kevin shrugs.

Edd looks away, fingers once again drifting to the edge of his hat. "It's not for my comfort, _citrouille_."

"What?" he murmurs, stomach sinking.

"I mean… it's… You've seen it. It's unpleasant. It makes people uncomfortable."

Kevin suddenly feels a terrible rage building in his chest and sits straight up. "What about you?" he demands and Edd looks at him, eyebrows raised.

"It's… What…? What about me?"

"What about your comfort? Are you more comfortable with it on or off?"

Edd just stares at him for a moment. "It… it doesn't matter, I-"

Kevin bristles. "What the hell, Double D? You do what you want and don't give two fucks about anyone else let alone their opinion of you or your appearance or whatever other bullshit. Are you seriously going to tell me you've worn that hat religiously just to please some dicks who can't handle a little scar?"

When he looks back to Edd he finds that the boy is still just… staring. It makes Kevin's chest tight and his face hot. He's either about to get chewed out for cursing or punched for challenging Edd at all, he's sure of it.

"Sorry… I just… you shouldn't have to- I mean, I guess I'm not one to talk-"

Kevin's not sure what he's said or done or if it's even good or bad (probably bad, definitely bad) but he's suddenly gathered up roughly, Edd practically tackling him for all intents and purposes so that they're both stretched out across the bed properly, Kevin laying on his back with Edd half on top of him, half curled around him.

This is it. Kevin is going to die and it's because he opened his fat mouth. Goodbye, world.

But instead of being punched, he's kissed and cuddled.

One of Edd's hands cradles the back of Kevin's head, keeping his forehead resting in the crook of the small boy's neck so his breath creeps across pale skin and his lips brush Kevin's pulse. He never imagined that something so simple could feel so personal, so intimate and (shit) sexual. It's warm and only grows warmer when Edd hooks a leg over and between Kevin's own, using it as leverage to draw him closer.

"Edd?" he cries shrilly and tries to push him away by pressing his hands to the boy's chest but it does nothing. Edd's holding him so tightly that Kevin's side actually hurts. "Edd, are you okay?" he asks more softly and hesitantly presses a hand to the boy's shoulder where his fingers can brush against the soft skin of Edd's neck.

"You remember that you're-you're the _fifth_ -"

"Yes," Kevin says quickly, voice hoarse. "Of course I do."

The fifth person to ever see Edd's scars. Only the fifth and he did it without Edd's permission. Guilt burns in his throat.

"Well…"

"They don't… what? Don't let you go without it?"

Edd nuzzles into the crook of his neck. "Their reactions are always… disapproving. Or shocked. Or… just… general disgust."

Kevin scoffs. "You want to know the first thing I thought when I saw it?"

Edd's breaths become slow and careful.

"That it looks elegant."

"No you didn't," he says firmly and slowly draws away so he can sit on his knees by Kevin's side. The way he's watching Kevin shows how much he wants to believe and it makes Kevin feel warm and strangely powerful.

"I did. The one on your forehead looks elegant, like it hurt terribly but it's still… you know, beautiful in a weird way. The one on your temple is smooth and it's weird but it's elegant too. And," he gulps, averting his gaze, "the one - uh, the one on your hip and the-the-"

Edd turns a brilliant red and leans back, eyes impossibly wide. "You saw…?" he croaks, his hands fisting on his thighs.

"On accident," Kevin squeaks. "I-I'm sorry. So, so sorry."

Edd gulps and licks his lips. "Don't be. I just - I didn't realize."

Kevin hides his face in his hands. Could he be any more idiotic? He has officially become the lowest of the low.

Edd's hand brushes Kevin's thigh and he clears his throat. Kevin peeks through his fingers to find Edd averting his gaze, cheeks still rosy. "And… what did you… think?" he rasps, face only growing darker.

Kevin quickly hides his eyes once more. "They look pretty badass, dude…"

Edd's face glows with childlike pride, obviously preening. "Well then…"

Kevin laughs and rolls onto his side so he's slightly curled around Edd's spot. "Try not to let it go to your head…"

Edd bites his lips, expression turning stoic once more but then softens, smile gracing his lips. "You still haven't asked," he says gently. It almost feels like an invitation.

Kevin blinks at him. "Do you want to talk about it? I don't want you to feel like you have to or something just because I saw it or… something."

"Trust me, I don't."

Kevin laughs and rolls his eyes. "So you want to?"

Edd shrugs slightly and reaches up to begin removing his bobby pins. "You make me want to."

"What? Why?"

"You're actually… relaxed about it, I guess. And while you did discover my secret under unfortunate circumstances you didn't… do anything, really. You didn't threaten me with it or treat me… Oh, don't make that face, Pumpkin, I know you _thought_ about it but you didn't _do_ it, that's what matters. You were just really different…"

Kevin looks away feeling torn and embarrassed. Edd leans over him, reaching out to the table, and when he returns to his original position the bobby pins are no longer in his hand. His blue eyes seek out Kevin's, his face carefully set, and he reaches up to his hat once more but his hands are shaking. It sends a shock of pity and affection straight to Kevin's chest.

The smaller boy carefully sits up so he's face to face with Edd; he feels like he could scare Double D off with a movement too sudden. "Don't do something that makes you uncomfortable," he says softly, peering up at Edd through his eyelashes.

Edd suddenly freezes. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Kevin gives him a dark look. "You won't. Not at all. I'm not and I won't be."

Edd yanks the hat off like a child with a bandage before squeezing his eyes shut.

Kevin almost forgot how terrible the one is, elegant or not, the smattering of jagged lines across the right of his forehead that creep into his hair. Kevin studies it for a moment before meeting Edd's eyes again. He scoots closer, looking for any sign in Edd's face that shows discomfort, and slowly reaches up to cup his cheek, very gently guiding Edd to turn his head so the silvery circle becomes visible.

"Don't touch it," Edd says harshly and Kevin's hand jerks back. "No, I'm sorry. It's just… delicate."

"What?" Kevin croaks and clears his throat. "What is?"

"The scar on my temple, don't apply any pressure to it."

"Shit, how the fuck did you get something like that?" Kevin mutters without thinking.

"When I was a baby. Intravenous catheter."

"Huh?"

"I was born sickly and thus it was necessary for medication to be administered intravenously but the only vein large enough was there."

"And… it still hurts?" he asks, unable to keep the horror from his voice.

"When pressure is administered, yes."

"Cut the clinical bullshit, Double D. Just tell me."

Edd finally turns his face back to Kevin but captures Kevin's hand and keeps it pressed to his jaw. "Yeah, it hurts like a," he chokes on the word, " _bitch_ ," he snaps and rolls his eyes.

"Fuck…" Kevin murmurs. "And your forehead?"

"Oh, not at all. None of the others do. They're just scar tissue. No feeling at all."

"Do you… Is it okay to ask about the others?"

Edd smirks lightly. "Please, go ahead."

"So… your forehead."

Edd's eyes shift away. "Just- I don't mind telling you, in fact I'd like to, but you mustn't go around sharing the information with others."

"Of course not," Kevin says gently and gives his jaw a careful squeeze. "Fuck, I know I was an ass, but I wouldn't dare. I promised you that. I've kept that promise and I won't break it anytime soon."

"Not even your parents, Kevin. I'm serious."

Jaw tight, Kevin nods stiffly. A great sense of dread overcomes him.

Edd smiles and leans into his hand, his own hand fiddles with his dog tags. "Okay. Ah… well… The first year my parents really weren't around was when I was seven."

" _Fuck_ , D…"

Edd pauses. "Did you just call me ' _D_ '?"

"Is that a problem?" Kevin challenges but there's a hint of nerves in his voice. He did not just give Eddward Vincent a nickname. No he did not.

"No," Edd smirks, "just unexpected. Anyway, it was when I was seven and despite being a tall child I was still too small to reach certain things and very clumsy. There was an incident in which I dropped a glass from a tall shelf, it shattered, I fell along with it and… not only broke my head open but also got a faceful of glass for my trouble. Not ' _badass_ ' at all, I'm afraid."

Kevin lifts himself to his knees and shuffles until his knees hit the other's and he tips into Edd's chest, winding his arms around Edd's shoulders. The taller boy chuckles softly, enwraps Kevin in a tight hug and noses Kevin's pulsepoint.

"Stay here."

"What?" he murmurs, shock very present in his voice but not enough to hide his pleasure.

"Stay here. Just pretend you live here from now on. This is your house when your parents are gone," Kevin insists and presses his face into Edd's hair. "That's… how… how were you not- I don't know, the police or something-"

"Stop. Don't."

Kevin makes a soft noise and squeezes Edd tighter. "Sorry."

"It's fine."

"Is this weird?" he mutters, solely to change the subject. "This is pretty weird."

"I like it. You smell so nice…"

Kevin releases an alarmed noise and draws away. His face is hot and he does his best to keep his eyes away from Edd's but the taller boy takes his face in his hands to force him to meet those blue eyes.

" _Tu es à moi, es beau, es précieux_ ," Edd murmurs and presses lingering kisses along Kevin's cheekbones that make him shiver. " _Je veux t'aimer_."

"Are you teasing me again…?" Kevin asks suspiciously and Edd laughs.

" _Non_ , it's just a way for me to say everything I want to you without making you uncomfortable."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means I am quite literally whispering sweet nothings to you, my dear."

Kevin huffs. "You really are such a sap it's not even funny. Are you trying to be romantic and shit or are you actually this way?"

"You inspire my romantic side, what can I say?" Edd laughs. "I really am hopelessly in love with you."

Kevin shifts back to stare up at him with eyes like saucers. His heart just aches.

Edd meets his eyes without hesitation. "I thought I was in love with you before but I was wrong. Now… now I'm _so_ in love with you I don't know what to do with myself."

The smaller boy's stomach clenches and his head swims. _Love_? _In love_? Eddward did not just say that, surely not.

This boy has harassed Kevin and treated him like shit and teased him relentlessly yet…

"Sorry. Perhaps I have said too much."

Kevin gulps and takes a deep breath, he feels so dizzy. "I just… Why do you love me? You…"

"You're brilliant, funny, and witty. Your," Edd chuckles, "your sarcasm really gets me sometimes. I remember when we were in civics and that one kid, David Lexington, started talking about the typical racist drivel, I can't even remember what it was really about, and you just tore into him so viciously yet _sarcastically_ that he didn't realize you were even disagreeing with him. Even Ms. Morgan was laughing."

A bubble of nervous laughter escapes his chest. "You remember that?"

"Hard to forget, Pumpkin. I still laugh about it. It was the first time I ever heard you speak up in class, too. That was also the first time I really fell for you. Just a little, you know. And over time I came to love you more and more until I hated myself for how much of myself I gave you without even being with you."

Kevin feels like he might faint or puke or something equally terrible. "When did you… know?"

"I knew it was all over when we won the science fair. I had thought spending all of that time with you would make me realize that I was merely romanticizing you but no, I just fell more in love.

"I would watch you work, how your eyes move, how you bite your lips and once I even counted all of your freckles because I'm a lovestruck fool. And I hated myself more for ever pushing you around and being cruel yet I just kept going. I felt like it was too late to turn back and you never seemed… angry. I didn't realize until I found you in the locker room…" he shakes his head.

"I couldn't blame you, which was the worst part. It made me realize I had been worse to you than even I had realized."

Kevin considers telling Edd of his own crush but fears it may make him feel more guilt rather than hope. He gulps and gnaws on his lip, eyes focused beyond Edd's shoulder.

"What's wrong? Have I said too much?" Edd murmurs. His hands are still cradling Kevin's face, he gently presses his fingertips to Kevin's jaw before slipping them down the curve of his pale neck. "I feel like it's high time I be honest with you, particularly in this situation. I want you to know what you're getting into with this deal."

Kevin shivers, only distantly listening at this point, and his eyes focus on Edd's face once more. The words come spilling from his lips before he can stop himself, "I had… I'm not sure if I should tell you this, but I had a really big crush on you freshman year."

"What?" Edd demands, voice so loud that it makes Kevin fall back and look at him with wide eyes. "You did? When?"

"Fr-freshman year, I don't know. It was around then, before Nazz started following you around."

"You're serious?" Edd persists, leaning in and holding onto Kevin's shoulders for dear life. "You were attracted to me?"

"I-," Kevin looks away, his face flushed. "You're- you're, you know, attractive and all."

Edd preens once more and draws back to smile softly. "Oh really…?"

"Shut up, you know you're attractive. I mean, you have abs and blue eyes and nice skin and wow, what a jawline," Kevin mutters, half snarkily.

"I'm swooning, Mr. Barr."

"I can see that," he snorts and grins widely. "You say it jokingly but you're blushing, you dork."

"So are you," Edd says quickly, almost snappily, but there is a lopsided smile stretched across his face. "So… how likely is it that I could, oh, say… _resurrect_ that crush?"

Kevin gulps. His lips hurt from all of his biting and his jaw from all of his tension. "To be honest, it's been much easier than I hoped…"

Edd's eyes widen along with his smile.

"Oh, _ma citrouille_ , may I?" he purrs, cupping Kevin's face and drawing him closer even as he leans in. His blue eyes are lidded and within them Kevin can see something warm and unrecognizable yet familiar, like the heat that burns in the pit of his stomach. He carefully braces his arms on Edd's shoulders as Edd's arms slide around his back and down to his waist. "May I embrace you? Just for a moment?"

"'Embrace'?" Kevin whispers.

"I want to hold you."

"Oh…"

"Is this too much? Too fast?"

"I guess it is a little fast. We're not even really dating," he adds which earns a small smirk at his expense; it's obvious that Edd takes his little confession as a "yes" to his unspoken question. "But… you seem like you need it, or… you know what I mean."

Edd's brows furrow and his head cocks. How can he look so innocent?

"You seem sort of - starved of affection," Kevin murmurs feeling numb.

Edd looks away, obviously embarrassed and Kevin's chest squirms with his guilt.

"Sorry," he mutters, voice rough and worn. "I suppose I went overboard as per usual."

"I wasn't saying it was a bad thing. I just meant that… maybe it's a good thing for us to be doing this so quickly because you need it. I wasn't- I didn't mean to make you-"

"Thank you, Pumpkin," he says gently and presses another soft kiss to Kevin's forehead, allowing his lips brush against his skin. "Remember that I'm not the only one whose needs should be met in our relationship - or whatever you want to call it. So, if you need me to back off I will. Without hesitation or resentment. Okay?"

"Jeez," Kevin murmurs, head spinning. "What happened to the guy that gropes me in the halls and leers at me?"

Edd grows quiet and curls in on himself slightly.

"Shit, I didn't mean it like-"

"No, it's okay," Edd says firmly. "I deserve it."

Kevin makes another distressed noise and shifts so he's on his knees before Edd. "You've been nothing but thoughtful since-since I did that… that thing to you, even though I don't deserve it." He carefully strokes his fingers across the warm and soft skin of Edd's throat, for a moment completely entranced by the shifting tendons and fluttering pulse of his heart and blood. He's a fool for this but lord is Eddward Vincent not the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, gazing at him through his thick lashes and rolling his tongue across his full lips. "Will you-" the words stick in his throat and he feels feverish. "Do you want to hold me or for me to hold you?"

"Whatever you want," Edd breathes, voice soft and so _painfully_ hopeful.

"I wouldn't mind trying either…"

Edd makes this soft, whimpering noise and Kevin's chest flutters. Edd keeps his eyes locked with Kevin's as he gently presses the boy back until he's lying beneath him. Edd straddles his hips once more, staring down at Kevin with such wonder in his eyes that it hurts, hurts, _hurts_ because it's just so innocent and needy and someone like Eddward Vincent should never make a face like that.

Edd's the jerk who pushes people around and takes what he wants. Yet here they are. It's… surreal.

Cautiously Kevin reaches up, heart in his throat, and runs his hand through Edd's hair right above the scar on his forehead. He avoids the other side for fear of accidentally touching the pearly skin left by the IV.

Edd's reaction is instantaneous: he sighs quietly and shudders, his own hands grabbing Kevin's arm. "That feels too good. If you keep that up I'll just fall asleep on you."

"I imagine it does after keeping it under a hat all of the time."

Edd hums and finally lays by Kevin's side, worming his way closer to him. "You can keep doing that, you know…"

"I just don't want to touch that one on accident."

"Just… if you brush across it, it should be okay. Just don't put pressure near it."

"What if I accidently pull your hair near it? Like, because of a tangle or something. I really don't want to hurt you. What even happens?"

"Well, the temple is already a delicate point on the body but for whatever reason this has made mine more so. When pressure is applied it may hurt immediately but more often than not it begins to ache dully over time, like a migraine.

"I actually started wearing the hat due to this scar alone. Children would poke and prod at it so I kept it hidden."

"Jeez…"

Edd shrugs and takes Kevin's hand in his own. Kevin gulps, gut twisting with heat and nerves, and allows his fingers to be guided to Edd's skin, nearly shaking when his eyes lock with Edd's own. He's gazing up at him with such intensity that Kevin fears he may faint.

The skin of the scar is slightly raised at the edges and then strangely soft at the center. Edd releases Kevin's hand in favor of resting his own on the curve of the smaller boy's hip, sneaking his thumb beneath the edge of his shirt, the rough pad of his thumb rubbing at Kevin's pale skin. Kevin shudders and releases a shaking breath that makes Edd's eyes flit to his lips. So intimate, more intimate than what Kevin could ever imagine - more than a kiss, more than sex, he doesn't even know how to classify this experience but it makes his stomach tight and hot with lust and want and affection. It's so warm and tender, safe in a way Kevin never expected. He thought is would feel uncomfortable and tense but while his stomach and chest buzz with energy he feels fine. It feels natural.

He circles the scar once, fingertips just barely brushing the skin, then allows his fingers to card through Edd's soft hair. Edd's hand creeps slightly higher on his hip and gives it a measured squeeze that makes Kevin's stomach flutter.

"I'm afraid there's not much there…" Kevin mutters.

Edd snorts. "What?"

"I'm… just scrawny. Not anything to feel like abs or something."

"Plenty to feel," Edd croons and noses Kevin's cheek. "Soft skin, your pulse, how you shiver and shake beneath my touch…"

Kevin's abdomen tightens and he lets out a pathetic sigh even as Edd says it. His blue eyes grow sharp and… Kevin's not sure how to describe what he sees within them as anything other than _hunger_.

Biting his lips, Kevin raises his other hand to run them both through Edd's hair which makes the taller boy sigh and press into Kevin's touch like a pleased cat. His leg hooks over Kevin's once more.

"I never imagined I would be here, cuddling Peach Creek's resident Shark…"

"I never thought you would let me touch you again, let alone like this," Edd sighs and shocks Kevin by turning his face so he can kiss Kevin's palms. "I can't keep my hands off you…"

"I don't understand why…" Kevin gulps. He's far more pleased by Edd's words and actions than he should be, though he feels as if the other boy must be playing him somehow. "I'm not like you."

"What do you mean, _mon chéri_?"

"I'm not handsome or cute or-"

"Pumpkin," he scoffs, "you're absolutely precious. Green eyes, such lovely skin, not to mention…" his hand slides downwards once more and Kevin squeaks, quickly grabbing his wrist before he can grope Kevin's ass.

"Don't do that!" he hisses. "What happened to _not_ making me uncomfortable?"

Edd pouts. "But it's so… perfect…"

Kevin yelps in sheer embarrassment and withdraws as far as Edd allows, his grip on Kevin's hipbone keeping him close. The asshole is snickering now but the warmth in Edd's eyes does horrible (wonderful) things to his stomach. "You dick! I will knee you!" he snaps and tries rolling away from the other boy in an attempt to force Edd to release him but Edd only winds his arm around Kevin's slender waist and drags him back into his chest before curling around him.

Edd giggles like a little boy and nuzzles the back of Kevin's neck. "Sorry, Pumpkin, I promise I won't touch you there or anywhere else inappropriate."

"You're a fucking prick," Kevin huffs but his words hold so little venom they scare even him.

* * *

Kevin isn't sure what to expect at dinner but between Edd and his mother he knows it's not going to be good.

His mother has gone all out: homemade everything, all of Kevin's favorites like macaroni and cheese and what he vaguely remembers Edd liking (steamed asparagus and healthy stuff because he's a freak), and then muffins because Kevin may or may not have a weakness for blueberries.

When Edd sees all of this he looks like he's about to faint, jaw slack and eyes wide. Kevin nudges him gently and he just nods quickly. No one says anything when he piles his plate disturbingly high and eats like he's starved.

It does make Kevin's chest hurt and when he sees the look on his mother's face he's sure she feels the same.

"Edd, sweetie," she says smiling brightly, hiding her concern and pity as best she can, "you're more than welcome to come back tomorrow night, too."

Edd pauses and glances at his plate and back to Kevin's mother, face slowly turning red. Kevin sighs softly and leans a little closer to him, carefully slipping his hand to rest on Edd's side. He looks a little alarmed by the sudden action but quickly calms.

Kevin's parents quite obviously see the display but say nothing.

"I would like that very much but I would hate to be a burden."

"Oh, sweetie," Kevin's mother croons. "You're a joy to have around!"

"Don't worry, son," Kevin's father adds between bites of mac and cheese. "It's a pleasure having such a good friend of Kevin's over-"

"Boyfriend," his mother corrects and bats her lashes.

Kevin promptly chokes on his food and Edd pats his back laughing shamelessly. "Mom! _We're not dating_!" he hisses, trying very hard to ignore Edd's snickers and his father's raised eyebrow.

She rolls her eyes. "Kevin, I already told you that your father and I _know_ -"

" _Mom_."

Edd has to cover his mouth.

"I'm glad _someone_ is enjoying this," Kevin snarks at him and Edd only laughs harder. "You're insufferable…"

"Come on, honey, you two are going to the dance together right?"

Kevin groans and hides his face in his hands.

"Yeah, we are," Edd says mirthfully.

"But we aren't dating," Kevin insists. "So calm down."

"Well you _should_ be."

Kevin looks to his dad hopefully but even he is smirking. "Dad," he whines.

"Oh no, I'm not getting drawn into this. Although I must say I thought you two were dating already."

"Jeez! Why?"

"I'm not blind, son."

"What does that even mean?"

"Also," his mother says, setting her fork down, "apparently your classmates think so too…" she gives them a meaningful look, " _Pumpkin_ …"

Edd nearly dies laughing.

"What? How do you even know that?"

"One of your classmates, Rebecca I believe, works at the grocery store."

Edd has to cover his face he's laughing so hard. Kevin has to cover his face he's blushing so fiercely.

* * *

"You are welcome to spend the night, too, Eddward," Kevin's mother adds after the millionth time she reminds Edd to come over for dinner tomorrow.

Kevin looks at her horrified. "Mom!"

"What? Don't be such a stick in the mud!"

"Oh my god! What are you suggesting?"

Even Double D is a little pink. "Thanks, Ms. Barr. Tonight I need to go home though."

She pouts. "Kevin could go with you…"

"Oh my god!"

"What? You never do anything fun!" she sighs. "Go spend the night with your boyfriend!"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Kevin groans.

"Then there's no reason for you two to not have a sleepover!"

"Mom!"

Edd chuckles softly. "Tomorrow night we'll have a sleepover. Either house, it doesn't matter. But tonight I have some things I need to get done." He turns to Kevin and smiles, "Do you want me to drive you to school tomorrow? I can't drive you home because I have practice but I can take you whenever and just keep your bike in the back."

Kevin blushes slightly. "Okay but how will you know when to get me?"

He holds out his hand and smirks. Kevin reaches into his pocket and retrieves his phone.

Kevin's mother laughs softly before leaving them alone in the front hall.

"Here. It's all there, don't be shy," he adds with a wink.

Kevin rolls his eyes. "Okay, okay… you can go now."

Edd gives him an expectant look and Kevin frowns, stomach fluttering. "No goodnight kiss?" he murmurs.

"Jeez," Kevin breathes and rubs the back of his neck. Glancing around for his parents he carefully stands on tiptoe and allows his lips to brush across Edd's cheek, shivering when Edd's hands come to grip his elbows and draw him closer until they are hugging once more.

"I won't ask you out," Edd says and it feels like he's reminding himself.

"I-I'll- okay…"

"Whenever you're ready…" Edd adds hopefully and Kevin grunts, punching his back gently.

"Just go home, you _re_ - _requin_ ," he stutters out.

Edd nearly howls out a laugh and lifts Kevin straight off the floor with his hug. The redhead gasps and clutches at his back but he's laughing too.

"Ah, _mon précieux citrouille,_ _je veux t'embrasser_ ," Edd titters, speaking so quickly that Kevin has no hope of ever understanding what the hell he's saying. Kevin finds himself back on his feet and kisses are once again being placed all along his cheekbones and even his nose. " _Tu es à moi_ , _tout_ _à moi_."

Kevin bites his lip as he recognizes at least that last part - " _You are mine_."

" _Et… tu es_ _à moi, requin_?" he tries and flinches at his own pronunciation, gut twisting when Edd's lips still against his left cheek. "Uh… that was stu- woah!"

Edd pins him to the door before Kevin knows what's happening and he gazes up at the taller boy with wide eyes. His hands are suddenly heavy on Kevin's ribs, not hurting at all but somehow painfully present. Edd just stares at him for a long moment, face cold and closed. Kevin gulps and licks his lips shakily.

"Double D?" he whispers thickly.

Edd's lips press into a hard line and his hands draw away reluctantly. "I'm going to leave before I do something rash," he says stiffly. "I am. Leaving, I mean."

"You're leaving," Kevin repeats numbly, somewhat lost. "You are."

"I am," Edd repeats distantly. His eyes never once leave Kevin's. "Going…"

"Uh-huh," Kevin murmurs and allows his lips to curl upwards.

"Right… now…"

"I see that."

"I am. I swear… right now," Edd insists, fighting to suppress his laughter. "If you'd just stop being so cute."

Kevin shoves at his chest. "Shut up."

"That's it," Edd sighs, "I really do have to go or I'll just have to spend the night. You're too tempting."

Kevin rolls his eyes. "I'm just a scrawny dork, shut up."

"Maybe I like scrawny dorks," Edd chuckles in his ear as he pulls him into another gentle hug. "I'm leaving. Right after this."

"Just shut up and stay," Kevin mutters. His face burns and his heart is hammering in his chest.

He really just invited Edd to spend the night. Wow, classy, Kevin, real classy. Officially off the deepend.

Edd laughs but pulls away. "I really do have to go but… a kiss would be nice."

"I literally just kissed you."

"I want another," he pouts. "It feels good to kiss you but… _wow_ … it's a thrill for you to willingly-"

"Shut up," Kevin rolls his eyes and stands on tiptoe and kisses Edd's cheek before quickly stepping away. Edd grins at him.

"So, romancing still working?"

Kevin smiles shyly.

"I'll take that as a yes! Can I text you later?"

"Later?"

"Yeah, when I get home."

Kevin scoffs and rolls his eyes (he's totally not grinning). "You're a dork."

* * *

 _Tu es à moi, es beau, es précieux_ \- You are mine, you're beautiful, precious  
 _Je veux t'aimer_ \- I will love you  
 _Mon_ _chéri_ _-_ My darling  
 _Mon précieux citrouille,_ _je veux t'embrasser -_ My precious pumpkin, I want to embrace you.  
 _Tout a moi_ \- All mine


	4. Chapter 4

Hello lovelies! Thank you for all of the follows, favorites and reviews! The reviews really are wonderful!

So, this chapter features: tears, more scars, more cuddles, some actual plot! Even more cuddles! Okay, I'm sorry, there really is a lot of cuddling in this fic.

Also, there are more mentions of homophobia and general ignorance in this chapter, just so you know.

* * *

Kevin dreams about Edd again.

First it's the nightmares of the incident in the locker room. They're in that shower stall but Edd doesn't touch him, doesn't look angry, worse: tears build up in his eyes until their brilliant blue has morphed to a storm gray and water is just flowing from his eyes, not like tears but a steady trickle that grows and grows until Kevin feels the water creeping up to his ankles, his thighs, his chest and then he's drowning. Edd only watches, eyes like darkening clouds and face set as if it were stone. No matter how Kevin kicks and jerks and reaches he gets no closer to the other boy - just can't quite touch him, can't quite keep his mouth above the water, can't quite scream - and that cold expression never changes. His head begins to go under-

He wakes up twice from that same dream, at that same point, and finds his face shoved into his pillow or his sheets twisting around him so he feels like he's suffocating or being held down. It's very hard to sleep afterwards.

After a few more stressful dreams, they ease into something else entirely, something warm and hot and terrible that Kevin wishes he never, ever was able to think up. Fucking hell, it's worse than the nightmares and it makes him feel sicker, more twisted, more guilty.

His guilt just might eat him alive.

From a nightmare to wet dream, Kevin is convinced Edd is going to remain his personal demon for the rest of his days.

The most horrific part of it all? Kevin finds he's actually okay with that.

He's not okay with getting three hours of sleep, however. And even that sleep was restless.

How one deals with such stressful nightmares, Kevin doesn't know. It's blatantly obvious to him that it's from his guilt but even that seems too insurmountable a mountain to face on three hours of terror-filled sleep.

Edd told him it was okay. Edd forgave him. Edd went as far as to say they are even.

Yet Kevin still feels sick with it.

He had a dream of a little boy, all bird-bones and big, wondrous swimming pools for eyes, falling, falling, falling - glass tearing his skin, the sick sound of his skull hitting tile -

When he woke after that he was crying and mumbling apologies to the empty night. It returns to him now, crystal clear, so much so that he is almost convinced it was real in his sleep-deprived state.

Edd hadn't actually texted Kevin as soon as he got home so the delightful little surprise he left on the other boy's phone is waiting for him when he wakes. Edd has entered every single one of his numbers (cell phone, home phone, where to reach him when he's swimming, where to reach him if all else failed, where to reach Marie if all else failed and then some) all under the name "DD Requin" which makes the redhead feel all warm and squishy inside with affection for this beautiful, brilliant, and absolutely insane boy who he sort of wants to both punch and kiss and wipe the tears from his eyes.

For a brief, insanity-filled moment, Kevin's thumb hovers over the call button. His stomach is in fucking knots and he feels dizzy with his lack of sleep and he just wants to yell at Edd for looking at him the way he had in his dream, in a way that had torn a hole right through him and reminded Kevin of every single shitty thing he's ever done. He almost does it, too. Almost calls to tell Edd that he's not his toy - not now, not ever. Tells him that the charade is over. That Kevin can never fall for someone so fucking shitty.

But that last thought draws him back to reality and he curls up in bed with the phone before typing up a quick message: _you're a little shit, Requin_. Not talking to him immediately would be the smart thing to do but Kevin isn't feeling very smart today and he can't even find it in him to care because he spent all night thinking about Edd, dreaming of him crying and hurting, and he needs to be reassured that it really was just a dream.

All Double D responds with is a winky face and Kevin's chest swells with relief and anger and affection and frustration in a way that leaves him laughing and crying, curled in fetal position on his bed.

He's antsy all morning because now the bad thoughts are gone and all he can think about is Double D and how he's going to drive Kevin to school, how his kisses feel, how his abs are so perfect Kevin doesn't know what to do with himself. He's falling all over again and this time he's going down hard.

Kevin's mother is terribly amused by it, too, which is super embarrassing. It's like she knows exactly what's going on all of the time and Kevin just wants to be left alone for a while. This isn't easy for him and he sort of wants to stop thinking and worrying about what other people are thinking and go with it. Maybe he's a little biased but he thinks he deserves that much,. The chance to act like a real teenager for once in his miserable life, make out with a hot boy and do stupid shit, that sort of deal.

Not that he wants to make out with Edd.

Okay, he really wants to make out with Edd but he'd rather not think about that because that makes him think about his dream and his dream makes him think about how he saw Edd in the nude and let's stop right there.

By the time he's ready for school he feels like a hot mess, hair untamable from a night spent squirming and face marked with noticeable bags. He's spent the night scared out of his wits and, as screwed up as it is, turned on so he really just wants to crawl in a hole and die. His hands shake as he texts Edd, telling him he's ready for school whenever Edd is.

Edd just sends another winky face. Little shit

God, he even _thinks_ 'little shit' in a fond way and there's something so sickeningly "teenager in love" about that, that he wants to slam his head into the wall.

Hesitantly, Kevin shoulders his bag and grabs his books before heading over to Edd's house. He pointedly ignores his mother's winks but it's not much use, she can't be stopped and she knows it.

Edd's house is definitely the newest and nicest in the neighborhood. Though not as big or grand as he's sure the Vincent's could afford, it's still unnerving to walk up to such a nice place.

Once again Kevin is left thinking about the terribly huge gap between him and Double D. Him, scrawny, freckled, and wretchedly pale. No money. Smart but not a genius. That's Kevin. Then there's rich, handsome, intelligent Double D.

He almost talks himself out of going up to Edd's house but he's already halfway across the lawn and before he can turn around Edd opens up the door and leans out with such a breathtaking grin on his face that makes Kevin's heart skip a beat.

All of the dark images still bouncing around at the back of his mind suddenly fade away and he's returned to reality once more.

" _Bonjour, ma citrouille_ ," he croons as Kevin reaches the door, opening his arms to the smaller boy. "Did you sleep well?"

Kevin snorts at the irony of the question but doesn't answer, instead shouldering past Edd, ignoring the offered hug, to get in the door. Nice doesn't begin to cover the perfection that is the Vincent's home. It is spotless. Everything exactly so as if Kevin has just walked into a home featured in a magazine. It doesn't even smell like a home, more like a doctor's office, and he suddenly feels very, very out of place.

When he looks back to the taller boy, Edd is watching him closely. Flushing, Kevin opens his mouth to say something but he has no clue what, especially with his mind moving so fast yet so slow. Edd blinks at him, eyes flitting to take in the bags under those green eyes and the way Kevin slightly slouches. The door closes with a whisper.

"Please remove your shoes," he says coolly and motions to the spot where his Vans rest next to his usual boots.

Kevin awkwardly shuffles back over to toe off his shoes but before he can Edd draws him as close as possible, arms locking around the smaller boy's shoulders and hauling him into the welcoming curve of his chest. Kevin glances back at the door feeling suddenly nervous, his stomach tight and fluttery (he totally doesn't think about Edd's genitals). He's tired, so tired he can feel it in his bones and he just wants to stop thinking and start acting so he hugs Edd and lets himself be hugged.

"I just want to keep you all to myself," Eddward hums and with the flick of his wrist Kevin's hat is on the floor and Edd has him pinned to the door, his bag falling from his shoulder to join it with a thunk. Laughing tightly, half afraid and half in pain from lack of sleep and the beginnings of a pounding headache, Kevin simply lets go of his books so they land on top of the pile. He lets out a shaky sigh, the tension finally leaving him upon seeing Edd grinning, his own arms winding around Edd's neck ( _still not thinking about Edd's junk_ ).

"Tell me, how attached are you to that shirt, darling?" he murmurs and presses a gentle kiss to Kevin's pale cheek.

The boy is too dazed to process both his words and the actions so it takes him a minute but once he does, he rears back. "What?" he squeaks (not thinking about it, not thinking about it, not thinking about the way his lips curled in the dream, not thinking about how his fingers had moved in the dream, not thinking about that scar pointing straight to his-).

"Wear one of mine," Edd insists so seriously that Kevin could laugh.

Instead he scoffs, "What? Why? Isn't that a little much?"

Edd draws away to pout and Kevin can't help but laugh at the childish look. The taller boy sniffs haughtily, "The scent of your partner is a strong determinant of sexual compatibility."

Kevin nearly chokes on air and his face burns. For one blinding moment he's convinced that Edd must be able to read his mind but then he realizes how ridiculous that is and stops thinking about it (no he doesn't, Edd can probably smell it on him like the predator he is. Damn _requin_ ).

"What the fuck, Double D? What are you even talking about?" he demands, voice tight with his nerves; it's almost painful to his ears.

"The fact that you should enjoy wearing my clothing due to my scent."

"Holy shit, you are such a freak," Kevin cries shrilly, so high it is nearly a whine. "Cut the clinical bullshit, what do you mean?"

"I'm talking about the psychological and physiological benefits of a couple sharing clothing," he grunts but despite his severe tone his blush speaks to his embarrassment.

"You want to wear my shirt?"

"Your shirt won't fit me," he scoffs and rolls his eyes then pauses, staring at the floor. "But I would like to keep it."

Kevin releases a choked noise that he can't quite describe, mind immediately going to the gutter.

Edd gives him a bored look. "Not like that, you pervert. I'm trying to build our relationship."

"You are such a freak…" Kevin mutters but he finds himself laughing nervously. "Do you even have a shirt that would fit me?"

"Of course. I checked."

"Oh my god, how can you be so strange yet so fucking cute?" Kevin sighs, the words coming out before he can stop them. He blushes from his throat to the tips of his ears and quickly looks down and away.

Edd leans closer until their noses touch and his breath, cool and minty, is brushing against Kevin's lips with every slow exhale. "May I ask you something?"

Kevin gulps thickly and nods, still not brave enough to meet Edd's eyes though he can feel them on him.

"You have hinted at being physically attracted to me currently, not simply in the past. I just want to make sure that is the case."

This feels like some sort of trick. The other shoe is about to drop or something but Kevin's mind is moving like molasses and he's just fed up with his own fear.

"Yeah," Kevin says hoarsely, "I am."

Edd makes a low, pleased noise not unlike a purr. "Oh, _mon coeur_ , I just want to keep you locked up in this house…" he breathes and presses closer until his leg is brushing Kevin's and his lips are teasing across his cheek.

"But… I still don't get it," the redhead croaks, "do you… um…"

"Hm?"

"Are you, like- you're attracted to… _me_?" Edd pulls away, face suddenly blank, and Kevin's heart sinks. "Shit," he mutters and looks away. "That was a stupid question, I'm s-"

"Stop, Kevin," he murmurs and the boy bites down on his lip brutally. " _Mon amour, tu es beau_ ," Edd insists softly. He cups Kevin's cheeks so gently that Kevin shivers. He eases his thumb across the small boy's mouth, carefully dragging it down so the boy releases his bottom lip from his teeth. "You are not," he pauses, blue eyes taking Kevin in tirelessly ( _attractive, cute, remotely handsome_ \- Kevin finishes for him, his own head spiraling into darker and darker possibilities), "very sure of yourself, are you?"

"What?" he gulps.

"Last night, I suppose I realized but… Look at me," he orders but Kevin only tucks his head even further from his gaze. "No, look at me," Edd insists softer this time but tone still sure as he presses his cool fingertips to the heat of Kevin's cheeks. "Kevin, stop it. Look at me…"

He very slowly eases Kevin's face upwards so that their eyes can meet and he sighs, lips quirking softly. "How beautiful you are…" he croons and Kevin immediately tucks his chin down again and turns away.

"Don't make fun of me, okay? I know it was a stupid thing to ask so just… I get it," he tries to grit out but his voice is embarrassingly shaky.

"Pumpkin," Edd admonishes, "why would I pursue someone I don't find attractive?"

"I dunno," Kevin slurs. "To make fun of me or something."

Edd suddenly grabs the back of Kevin's neck roughly and forces him to look Edd dead in the eyes. The boy's breath stutters and his heart seems to slam against his ribcage. "I have quite the soft spot for you, Pumpkin, but don't insult me in my own home," he orders and the sudden firmness of his voice leaves Kevin reeling.

Even when he's being cuddly and romantic, Kevin can't let himself forget that Edd is called the Shark for a reason. It's a very good thing he didn't make that angry, nonsensical call this morning.

Pale hands shaking, Kevin nods jerkily. "Sorry. But shit, Double D, what do you expect me to think?"

Edd's face softens and his grip eases. His fingers stroke the nape of Kevin's neck gently. "What can I do to make you believe me?"

"'Believe you'?" he repeats, voice rough.

"When I say you're beautiful, _ma citrouille_."

Kevin squirms. "But I'm not."

"How can I prove that you are? I want you, I hold you, I kiss-" he pauses. Kevin gulps as Edd seems to appraise him. "May I kiss you properly, Kevin?"

Kevin's mouth is now terribly dry and he can hardly breath. He's shaking.

Edd suddenly steps back, hands leaving Kevin's skin as if it burns. His face is frozen in shock and Kevin is too exhausted to even question it. "Kevin…? I am so sorry," he says in a rush and carefully grasps Kevin's shoulders. Kevin distantly realizes he's crying. "I am so sorry," Edd insists, "I told you I would not pursue you and yet- and in my own home- you-you must think- _oh god_ , Kevin-" he chokes and Kevin can't help but smile through his tears at how _distraught_ he sounds about this, as fucked up as that is.

Double D is _distraught_ over Kevin. He's worried that he's hurt his feelings, even, or something like that. Kevin isn't really following. He's tired and disoriented enough as it is.

"Double D, just shut up, okay?" Kevin whimpers, words catching on a lump in his throat that he didn't know was there and now he's full on sobbing. He's too tired to care, really, and it actually feels good to just let it out. He grabs at Edd's shirt and tugs him forward until they stumble together awkwardly. "I'm sorry," he chokes out between the wracking sobs and he's not sure if he's apologizing for the hat incident or for getting snot all over him, all he knows is that his guilt and the fatigue of going two days on little sleep is making him crazy and the mere thought of Edd perhaps doing all of this just to tease him - no, he can't even consider it right now, he's so lonely and in too deep already.

Edd holds him so tightly that Kevin can hardly breath but he feels so safe right then that he only cries harder. It's like Edd is holding him together and he needs that. He's needed that for a long time because he's been holding onto a thread.

Lonely. So lonely all of the time. Harassed, beaten, and bloodied and the worst part is how alone he is.

Not the broken skin or bones, not the physical ache of bruised ribs or even his pummeled pride, it's the loneliness that eats away at Kevin's heart.

As suddenly as this "relationship" has fallen together, Kevin has invested a part of himself in it and he cannot take it back.

" _I came to love you more and more until I hated myself for how much of myself I gave you without even being with you_ ," Edd had said yesterday and Kevin suddenly understands what he meant all too well.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing," Edd insists and he sounds so honestly beside himself with guilt that Kevin begins to laugh through his tears.

"I'm not crying because of you or something," Kevin sniffs, finally reigning in his tears. "I got, like, three hours of sleep last night. And not much more the night before. Nightmares."

Edd makes a distressed noise and begins to pull away which sends a shock of fear down the Kevin's spine, making him dig his fingers into the boy's hips; he grows rigid with surprise and Kevin's guilt grows. "Please don't- please just-"

"School doesn't start for another forty minutes and I promise you I can get you there in ten. Come to my bed or the couch and sleep a little longer," Edd murmurs and gently cards his hands through Kevin's hair. "I'll carry you, okay?" he insists and Kevin begins sniffing again.

"Thank you…"

"Don't thank me," he says somewhat harshly and carefully worms his fingers between Kevin's and his hips. "Is… would you feel more comfortable on the couch?"

"Do you not want me to mess up your bed?"

"What?" he asks in alarm. "Kevin-"

"I'm not trying to be a dick," he says quickly. "I know you have a thing about germs and messiness and, well…" Kevin motions awkwardly to his teary face, looking down at their feet.

Edd is quiet for a minute before his warm hands find Kevin's ribcage just like the night before. "Wrap your arms around my neck - come on, _mon coeur_."

Shivering at the feel of those elegant fingers sliding over his ribs and then his biceps, Kevin hesitantly allows his arms to be guided around Edd's neck. The taller boy shifts downwards and Kevin is too sleepy and distant to really understand what's going on until he's being scooped up and cradled to Edd's chest.

Edd makes this strange sighing noise and shifts Kevin in his grasp; he feels dizzy and presses his face into the boy's shoulder as he takes in painfully deep breaths. "You're much lighter than I ever imagined," he murmurs and Kevin whines softly, squeezing Edd's neck.

"Scrawny…" Kevin mutters.

"Small and precious," Edd corrects with a soft chuckle but his laughter suddenly dies. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For… saying that."

Kevin sighs and nuzzles into Edd's neck because fuck it. He's done. He's so done right now and so exhausted that he's not even going to freak out about this.

"I'm sorry for being a shit about it," Kevin replies, eyes suddenly closing on their own, "I just… It's not that I don't trust you or whatever, it's that I really don't get what you, you the school _heartthrob_ , could possibly see in me…"

"Oh _ma petite citrouille_ ," he murmurs warmly and Kevin can't help but pull himself closer, the affection in Edd's voice making his chest tight. "You should hear how the girls on the swim team talk about you. They're _always_ talking about you. They're smitten with you due to your religious attendance of the meets and how you still open doors for girls, all of that. _And_ how you helped Mary Franklin with her AP Biology homework so often - lord, I thought I would never hear the end of it.

"Made my blood boil, how they would talk about your pretty green eyes and how your smile is so sweet and shy and all I could think was 'you haven't seen him at his best: you haven't seen his face hardened as he works, the look in his eyes when he succeeds, the way those eyes move when he's focused or how they cloud over when he's falling asleep'."

Kevin raises his head and meets Edd's eyes. The blue-eyed boy smiles gently and carefully attempts to draw Kevin's head back to his shoulder without dropping him as they go up the stairs. "Sleep. I'll wake you up when it's time."

"Edd?" he murmurs.

"Yes?"

"You can kiss me whenever you want," he says slowly, almost unsure if he's actually speaking. "Well, okay, at least when I'm awake."

Edd can't help but huff out a soft laugh. "Are you sure, _mon amour_?"

"I would like to kiss you…" he mumbles and hides his face in Edd's chest.

"Oh, how you tempt me…" he says, half joking but also undeniably giddy.

Kevin has only been in Edd's room once or twice so it's still a bit of a shock to see all of the labels on everything. It's so clean it doesn't feel lived in. Not a single thing is out of place: the desk is spotless, the books in their case arranged perfectly, and not a single thing dusty or dirty. Even the plants in the windowsill somehow feel sterile and unreal.

The bed is cold when Edd lays him down, careful to keep his feet off of the bed. Their eyes meet for an awkward moment and Kevin blushes, trying to casually look away. Edd's arm slides down his legs and the redhead jolts slightly, watching as Edd raises his feet.

Kevin can't help but laugh when he realizes what Edd is doing, struggling to keep Kevin's feet in the cradle of his arm as he removes the boy's shoes.

"God, you're a mess," Kevin says (fondly).

With one shoe off and unceremoniously tossed back out Edd's bedroom door, Kevin wriggles his toes in Edd's face and tries to poke the boy's nose with his big toe only to have the boy rear back, face twisted in disgust.

"Kevin!" he admonishes. "Don't be so revolting!"

Kevin only giggles but stops quickly when he feels Edd's eyes on him. Mouth dry, Kevin glances down at his feet then back to Edd's face. "What's wrong?"

"It's a little surreal to have you here. I almost thought I'd wake up this morning to find yesterday never happened but then I got that text from you," he chuckles and his smile is breathtaking. "Thank you for that, by the way."

Kevin can only nod shakily.

As Edd sets to work on the other shoe, Kevin peers around the room curiously, eyes landing on the plants. At first he thinks the labels might be the genus of the plants but then he reads "Jim" on one of them and snorts.

"You name your plants?"

"Yes, of course. Speaking to plants has been shown to increase their health and growth as they respond positively to vibrations. I need something to call them."

Kevin tries not to laugh, he really does, but there's something so sincere and precious about the way Double D says it and the mere thought of Eddward Vincent talking to a little cactus is so overwhelming that Kevin can't help but giggle. Edd swats at his knee and drops his legs onto the bed before tossing away his other shoe.

"You asked…" he grumbles and turns to leave but Kevin shoots up to grab his hand.

"I just thought it was sweet was all," he insists closing his eyes because of the sudden wave of dizziness that washes over him. He nearly has to throw his body back, putting all of his weight into it, to pull Edd on the bed too. Those blue eyes stare at him in shock and confusion and Kevin blushes, quickly looking away. "Don't leave, okay? I mean - do you still need to get ready?"

Edd studies him for a moment before shaking his head. "I'm ready."

"Will-" Kevin gulps, "would you stay with me then? If that's okay?"

Edd's face softens, eyes warm. "Of course…"

Kevin awkwardly shifts to the side and Edd toes off his socks (the freak) before lying by the redhead's side. They stare at each other awkwardly for a moment before Edd smiles gently and shifts closer. Kevin's heart feels like it's about to burst.

Edd carefully worms his arm through the opening created by Kevin's neck and shoulder, gently drawing the other boy to his chest. Kevin feels lightheaded but goes more than willingly, one arm curling between his torso and Edd's and the other resting atop the athlete's hard abdomen.

Christ this boy is built. Kevin just stares at his hand resting on the small curve of Edd's muscles for a moment before Edd's arms close around him and carefully draw him closer.

Edd's hands, large and warm, move Kevin with such care that it makes the redhead shiver.

"Here," Edd rumbles and Kevin looks up at him nervously. His soft hand lightly curls around Kevin's wrist and draws his arm upwards, slowly moving Kevin so he is resting more fully on Edd's broad chest. "Is this okay?" he murmurs, warm breath stirring Kevin's bangs, and the boy nods quickly, unable to trust his voice.

Edd is so, so warm and his arms wrap around Kevin's shoulders and waist in a way that makes him feel grounded and safe. Everything smells like Edd, not just the baby shampoo and chlorine but that distinctly masculine scent that lies beneath. It makes Kevin's head foggy and his chest tight.

The exhausted boy releases a wet, shaking sigh that's too close to a sob for Edd to ignore, and is promptly drawn even closer so his body presses to Edd's pleasantly and his head is cradled by the taller boy's shoulder and arm.

Kevin is out like a light.

Kevin wakes up slowly due to a ray of light falling in his eyes. He stirs sluggishly to find Edd's arms still around him though he's now laying with his back to the other boy. Everything is quiet except for Edd's soft breaths and the hum of his laptop sitting on the other side of the room. For a moment, Kevin begins to drift again, eyes sliding over the plants and down to study Edd's hand resting on his stomach, thumb rubbing circles against the edge of his ribs.

Remembering they need to go to school, he sucks in a sharp breath and shoots up to look around, feeling confused and panicky.

"Woah! Pumpkin, what's wrong? Another nightmare?" Edd asks and Kevin looks down to find the other boy is wide awake. The worry in those blue eyes sends a spike of pleasure and embarrassment to his stomach.

"School," he croaks.

The boy smiles gently. "We still have ten minutes before we need to go."

Kevin frowns. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Barely thirty minutes, it's okay," he assures and tugs on Kevin's sleeve to draw him back down.

Kevin heaves a sigh of relief and slowly collapses back on the bed. "Shiiit… I feel like I slept for hours."

"You were sleeping hard," Edd explains, carefully tucking Kevin's bangs behind his ear. Kevin's eyes flit to him, the action making him freeze. "I was honestly a little shocked how fast you fell asleep."

"I didn't sleep well last night or the night before," Kevin sighs and rubs at his tired eyes. "Sorry, I know this whole thing with me sobbing then sleeping on you must be really fucking awkward."

"No," Edd murmurs. His fingers continue to card through Kevin's hair soothingly, easing the tangled spots apart and smoothing unruly spots. "You have nothing to apologize for, _ma citrouille_. Believe it or not, I enjoy having you in my bed."

Kevin snorts, his smile wide and lopsided. "Very smooth."

Edd smiles at him in turn, all dazzling blue eyes and (perfect) gap. "I try."

Licking his lips, Kevin rolls onto his side so he's pressed even closer to the other boy and tilts his head back slightly, wondering if he could kiss him at this angle or-

"May I ask what gives you nightmares?" His fingers trail down Kevin's cheek and his eyes follow.

"Ah…" Kevin bites his lip and considers it. "Hear me out before you get upset."

Edd's face falls immediately.

"You're already upset. How am I supposed to tell you when you're already upset?" Kevin mumbles, half teasing in hopes of lightening the suddenly heavy mood. He focuses on tracing Edd's ribs on the side closest to him.

The action seems to sooth him. "I'm sorry. I'll listen."

"Okay… so… I feel really guilty about what I did. In the locker room."

"I told you I forgive you-"

"I know, I know you did. But apparently that's not enough for my psyche or whatever…"

The noise that Edd makes is so small and distressed that Kevin jerks his head up to meet his eyes, stomach clenching with (surprise, surprise) more guilt. Edd's eyes are so, so wide with horror that Kevin can clearly picture the water spilling from them the same way they do in his dreams. He feels sick.

" _Mon coeur_ … you're having nightmares about that? I'm not going to hurt you, I swear I will never lay a hand on you again-"

"Oh! No! Oh, Edd, no. Not like that," Kevin insists urgently. "God, no, nothing like that. It's not- it's not like I'm having nightmares about _you_. I'm having nightmares about-" he sighs in frustration. "It's _me_ hurting _you_."

"What…?"

"I-I- _fuck_ , I don't know how to explain it," Kevin nearly cries and tries to roll away or at least turn his back to the other boy but Edd cradles him close. "I'm just so- I feel so guilty," he chokes out in such a rough voice that it makes Edd's throat ache in sympathy. "I'm so guilty. I feel terrible for doing that to you. I can't imagine how-how bad you must have felt and- shit, especially now that I understand just how bad your- how- _what happened to you_."

Edd only hums gently and presses his face into Kevin's hair. His lithe fingers trace the boy's spine. Kevin grows quiet. He's not sure when but he started shaking at some point. The touch eases his tension and makes him calm. Edd's beautiful hands ease the tension from his back, then his shoulders, and finally Double D draws away to run his fingers across Kevin's brow as if he's wiping away the tense lines that have gathered there.

"What happens in your dreams?" he asks finally.

Kevin tells him everything in one big rush. He tells Edd about the tears first and about the drowning and about the guilt. He tells Edd about how his face is cold and his eyes aren't his and it makes Kevin so sick. Then about the little boy with the bird-bones and doll eyes. He tells him about the nightmares from the night before last: how Edd would just stand before him, fury and pain mingling, his scars on display, and it was all Kevin's fault.

Edd lets him speak, all the while petting Kevin's hair or rubbing his warm hands across the tight spots in the small boy's back. Kevin wants to just press himself into Edd's chest and kiss him and all sorts of stupid, lovey dovey shit but at the same time he's scared to initiate and Edd seems only interested in this and no more so he doesn't.

"The water is merely a manifestation of your guilt," Edd says finally, voice hushed and gentle. It makes sense as the water is eating at him, suffocating him, just as the emotion does. "A symbol of it."

"Are you psychoanalyzing me?" Kevin deadpans.

"Yes, it seems like the best course of action."

"What?" he scoffs.

"Well, you have already apologized and I have forgiven you yet the guilt still remains. So… why not try a scientific approach if the emotional one is not working?"

"Oh…"

"I'm not much of a psychologist, however. Not really my forte."

Kevin can't help but laugh at that. "Never thought Eddward Vincent would actually have a weak point."

Edd rolls his eyes but he's smiling. "You're too precious, I can't even feel annoyed at you."

Kevin titters and noses closer, sighing when a hand is run through his hair. "We should get up."

"Yeah… but you're so warm…" he breathes. Kevin blushes at the emotion and softness of his voice.

"You are too…" he whispers despite his better judgement and Edd gives him a little squeeze, humming in approval. It makes Kevin's stomach flip.

"Can I spend the night at your house?" Edd asks suddenly and it takes Kevin a moment to consider it.

"Why my house? Your place is nicer," he mumbles.

Edd is silent for a minute. "I hate the quiet."

"Oh… _oh_."

Kevin suddenly feels like a major prick for thinking Edd wanted to get in his pants or something equally ridiculous. He just wants to get out of this fucking house and be around people who actually care about him and will take care of him for a while. It's probably more that Edd wants to be with Kevin's parents than Edd wanting to be with Kevin even if he is attracted to him.

Kevin freezes. That may be the main source of this whole thing to begin with, now that he thinks about it. Edd wants (no, needs) parents and who better than the two right across the street?

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked something so forward-"

"No," Kevin says quickly and sits up so he can meet Edd's eyes. "It's fine. You are welcome to."

Edd's face softens. "Thank you. It means a lot, Pumpkin."

Kevin studies him for a minute and Edd studies him right back. "Can I ask you something?"

"Can you?" Edd counters with a smirk.

He rolls his eyes. "May I?"

Giggling like a kid, Edd nods.

"Do you… mainly just want to hang out at my house? Wait, let me rephrase that: is part of the reason you want to date me to be able to hang out at my house?"

Edd's brow furrows in confusion (it's totally not cute). "I'm honestly not sure what you mean by that. I want to date you because I find you attractive physically, mentally and emotionally. Your house has nothing to do with that."

"I-" Kevin blushes thickly and Edd smirks and reaches up to brush a thumb across his cheek. "I mean… I'm really lonely," he says quickly and he blames his slow-moving mind for it. The quirk to Edd's lips disappears and he slowly sits up so he's face to face with Kevin. Looking down, he continues, "I sort of… feel more okay with this than I should, honestly, because I'm so lonely. Like, really lonely. And I was just wondering if maybe this was less about you liking me and more about you liking me - I mean platonically, I guess - or maybe just my parents or something…" he trails off lamely and keeps his eyes downcast.

Edd shifts slightly and takes a deep breath before letting it rush out. "At first, I really thought it was. That's why I insisted on teaming up for the science fair. I told you I felt like I must be romanticizing you, remember? Well, I thought that might be a part of it - the-the loneliness, I mean. I am… very lonely, as you can see," he mutters and motions to Jim and the other plants. Kevin's heart hurts. "It does make me romanticize other people in a way… Makes me see only the good and other dangerous things.

"I-I used to be really desperate for attention - still am in ways - but after a point I realized attention is not… it doesn't fill the hole. So, then, I wanted a partner… I thought this was that phase again."

Kevin meets his eyes to find them downcast and wet with tears. He jolts, suddenly remembering his nightmare, and Edd looks at him with alarm. "Pumpkin?"

"Sorry," he sighs, "just remembered my dream…"

"Oh…"

"So, this wasn't the first time you, uh, _fell_ for someone like this?"

Edd hums. "First boyfriend…" he mutters and taps his hip.

It takes Kevin a minute but the scar, the terrible one that stretches from hipbone almost to his genitals, is seared into Kevin's memory so it's not like the pieces aren't going to connect.

" _No_ -" he gasps and actually slides back off the bed, nearly falling on his ass, shaking and panicking. "No, they-they did _that_ to you?"

Edd's silence speaks volumes, his sad eyes meeting Kevin's hesitantly. It's like a punch to the gut.

"Edd… Christ, I'm- I know it doesn't mean anything but I am so sorry," Kevin murmurs, voice shaking with his sadness and shock. The words are just spilling from his lips, honestly; his mind still hasn't wrapped around this new revelation. "I am so, so sorry."

Eddward Vincent, the Shark of Peach Creek, hunches over slightly and sniffs, wiping at his eyes. Kevin feels like disappearing. It feels so wrong to be here, watching this.

"You have no reason to apologize," Edd says hoarsely and drags his arm over his eyes roughly. "Sh-shit… sorry, I didn't expect to just breakdown."

Kevin's chest feels like it's about to blow, the pressure and heat within it is so strong. He carefully climbs back onto the bed on his knees and, like last night, tips forward into Edd's chest.

"I just started randomly sobbing," Kevin murmurs. "You don't need to be sorry."

Edd is crying now, hard and stiff as he's trying desperately to suppress each sob. Kevin clutches at his back and holds him to his chest there, slipping his hand under Double D's hat to pet at his hair while rubbing circles against his tight shoulders. The tense, full-body jerks turns into quiet hiccups and then shaky, wet breaths against the soft pale skin of Kevin's throat, each one searing. Piano fingers slide into the hair at the base of Kevin's skull and hold on tightly.

Kevin feels like he's moving through water. This whole situation is so surreal he's not sure how to process it. The pain he feels for this boy is almost unbearable.

"Neither of us have to be lonely anymore," Kevin says lowly and Edd chokes out a sob. "But we do still have to go to school…"

Edd begins laughing somewhat hysterically. The noise is wet and dark but still warm. Kevin holds him tighter and laughs along with him.

* * *

"Why don't you have labels in your car?" Kevin asks curiously.

Edd seems a little shocked by the question, lips twisting, and Kevin immediately feels terribly embarrassed. He's letting all of his walls come down and just asking stupid shit now ("What's your favorite food?" he had asked as they were leaving and earned a snort. "I really like salmon," Edd replied. "Any kind of seafood, really. Shrimp, oysters, mussels - but I hate them fried. Fried food is disgusting." All Kevin could think was _of fucking course the Shark likes fish_.)

He's drawn back to reality by Edd's heavy sigh. "I… used to. I want to. My dad sort of gets fed up with it. He thinks I need to grow up and get over it so this is off limits."

Kevin scoffs. "Your dad can kiss my ass."

Edd chokes and coughs, nearly swerving off the road. "Kevin!" he cries, face a brilliant red. "He's still my father!"

"Yeah but… he needs to take care of you, not be a dick."

Edd blinks quickly but stares straight ahead at the road. For a tense moment Kevin is convinced he has crossed the line. Finally, that lithe hand slides across the console just as it had yesterday. Kevin doesn't hesitate to take it and even goes as far as to link their fingers. Edd smiles brilliantly.

"Kevin?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you stole my hat."

Kevin can't stop grinning.

* * *

The school seems to be even more excited today. Edd claims that the gossip about their relationship will probably reach its peak now and slowly die down over the next few days, especially with the weekend coming. Kevin isn't so sure.

Edd is like the king of the school in every way possible, surely it's not going to be that easy.

Not to mention once their interest wanes it's probably going to be just another reason to harass Kevin. Sure, they won't do anything outright to piss off Edd but it's not like Kevin can be protected every second of the day.

Edd follows him to his locker, chattering animatedly about his plans for their science fair project and how they should get started on it tonight, go out to that old junkyard over the weekend and get some parts, figure out when Kevin's dad will have the time to help them out or bring them down to the car shop. The first time they teamed up, Double D was definitely excited about it but not quite like this. Kevin is determined not to let it make him feel all warm and giddy but (shit) it does.

Just as he's closing his locker he catches sight of Johnny approaching and nearly drops his books. He looks pissed.

"Edd," Kevin chokes and the boy finally stops talking long enough to take in Kevin's horror before slowly turning his gaze on Johnny.

"Hey, Johnny," he grins all confidence and unspoken threats as he easily slides an arm around Kevin's waist to draw the boy to his hip. "What's up?"

Johnny's adam's apple bobs and the muscles in his jaw strain. "Sarah is very upset with you, Double D."

Kevin frowns. Sarah doesn't even go to their school yet it's like she has her hands in everyone's business at Peach Creek. Her and Johnny are apparently best friends and Double D seems to be on good terms with her, at least that's how it looked to Kevin and Nazz, Nazz in particular as she was the frequent subject of the other girl's bullying and had to pay closer attention as such.

Edd's insincere smile falters and he looks honestly puzzled by the statement. "Why, whatever for?"

The pale boy's face flushes ever so slightly and his fists clench and unclench by his sides. "Could we talk alone?" he asks and actually sounds really torn up.

"Johnny, we're dating, whatever it is he'll hear about it eventually."

Johnny's blue eyes harden. "This is serious. A private matter."

Edd's shock is plain on his face. He turns to Kevin slowly. "Well, I'm sorry Kevin but I won't be able to walk you to class, it seems. I'll see you there, though, alright?"

"Uh, yeah," he says quickly, eyes flickering to meet Johnny's piercing ones. He can't help but flinch slightly. "I'll see you then-"

"Wait," Johnny snaps and it's like Kevin's feet have become concrete. "Kevin," he says awkwardly and glances back at Edd who is looking on with interest before turning back to the redhead. "I'm sorry for being a dick. Uh… but, this is really serious and I need to talk to Edd. Sorry," he adds again and rubs at the back of his neck roughly.

Kevin blinks in surprise. "It-it's no problem. Um… thanks. Don't worry about it. I'll- well, I'll see you guys later," he mumbles and blushes slightly at the pleased smirk on Edd's face.

He suddenly can't leave fast enough.

When his math class comes into view, he picks up the pace. This might be his only chance to be alone today and he really needs to talk to Nazz. He can't even begin to keep track of everything that has happened and it's messing with his head so much that sharing with another person has never sounded better not to mention Nazz and Marie are going to the dance together (wow, he needs to congratulate her properly and ask all about it because _wow_ ).

When he enters the class he sighs in relief. There is Nazz, beautiful, sweet Nazz who is the best listener ever. Upon spotting him her eyes grow wide and she motions to the seat next to her viciously; when he doesn't move fast enough she goes ahead and drags it closer to her.

"Dude, tell me what's up? Is he still being good to you? Marie and I will legit murder him if he's not, so don't worry. We actually discussed this."

Kevin huffs and rolls his eyes before collapsing in the seat next to her. "Holy shit, you don't even know- shit! I don't even know! You and Marie! It's a thing!"

"It's a thing!" she says excitedly just for her joy to disappear. "But… your thing is more important."

"What? No-"

"Kevin," she says in warning and her voice drops lower, "you are pretend-dating Peach Creek's resident sociopath. Your thing is more important."

Kevin gulps, face hot. "It… might not be pretend-dating."

Nazz just stares at him a minute, letting Kevin squirm. "What do you mean it 'might not be pretend-dating'?" she demands, chillingly calm.

"Uh… he confessed that he actually has a crush on me- uh, actually, he said he loves me," Kevin explains nervously, voice growing higher and tighter as he continues. "He-he said he has- he has it _bad_."

Nazz is just staring at him which is really unnerving so he decides to hurry it along.

"So, he told me that he has a crush on me when we first made the deal and I was like 'oh' but it didn't sink in until later and by then he was saying that he was going to, like, ' _romance_ ' me," he hisses. "And I was just too okay with it to say no, I guess? Like, yes, it's really fucked up, but the way everyone is treating me and how _Edd_ is treating me-"

"Kevin."

He gulps. "Nazz…"

"What the fuck do you mean 'he said he loves you'? Double D said he loves you? The asshole who gropes you and calls you names?" she growls and Kevin hurriedly covers her mouth as her voice gets louder.

"This has to stay between us!" he hisses and she shakes with her anger under his hands. "I know, I know it sounds really screwed up but he's-he… You don't know everything."

She smacks his hands off her mouth and he yelps, drawing back. "Kevin," she snaps, "do you know what stockholm syndrome is?"

Kevin scoffs. "Uh, sort of but-"

"It's when a victim identifies with their abuser or what the fuck ever because they think a lack of abuse from them is kindness."

Kevin pauses for a moment and lets his brain take that in. "I… see… okay. I understand why you see that and… yeah, maybe it is a little bit of that but also no, no way. It's not like I'm that messed up in the head, jeez… I mean yes, maybe I'm not looking at this in a healthy way, maybe I'm letting him off way too easy, but at the same time… I don't know," he mumbles and presses his face into his hands. "Can you please trust me? I know this is screwed up - I know we're both really fucking screwed up - but I have a good feeling about this. It's like… it's like everything's falling into place."

"Kevin…"

"Nazz," he says firmly and meets her eyes. "He held me this morning."

Her face twists in confusion. "What?"

"Okay, let's take a step back," Kevin mumbles and brushes his hands under his hat to tug his hair. "Uh… You can't tell anyone."

"Cross my heart."

"I can't even tell you what he's hiding but I'll tell you it's really fucking bad. Really fucking bad. Makes me sick to my stomach bad."

"Sympathize with how he acts bad…?" she murmurs reluctantly, practically wincing even as she says it.

"Yeah," he croaks and thinks back to the scars, to what Edd said about his father, "yeah, it does that too."

"Shit."

"Yeah, exactly. But that's not even the point, the point is he-he shared it with me. And he was like… I don't know how to explain it. He's just really… not an ass when we're alone. He calls me darling and cute French things and shit. He seemed…" Kevin blushes and hides his face in his hands. "I used to have a thing for him."

"Yeah, I remember."

"It's easy for me to feel physically attracted to him and sorry for him and shit… he's actually really nice to talk to. I thought maybe it would just be physical and then he'd get bored or I'd get over it but I don't think that's going to happen, I really don't. It's not just nice talking about tech stuff, either. He's genuinely funny and witty and fuck, he's cute. Nazz, he's _cute_. He's fucking adorable and weird and quirky and I feel like a typical teenager in love."

" _Shit_."

" _Exactly_ ," he groans. "He- I told him while he was driving us home that I was, like, falling for him a little and he pulled over and fucking climbed into my lap and hugged me, Nazz. Like, I know that sounds ridiculous but it was so fucking sincere and- I don't even know how to explain it. He's just fucking weird and I shouldn't like it but I do - I _really_ fucking do."

"Damn, honey…"

"Yeah…"

"It's-" she sighs. "It's been like… a fucking day, though."

"I know," he groans. "I know and that only adds to my confusion because holy shit this shouldn't happen this fast - this shouldn't be _able_ to happen this fast! It's not like I'm in love with him or something but fuck, I can feel how easy it would be to fall for him. I'm already falling for him.

"I slept like shit last night so when I went over to his house I had- christ, this is so embarrassing but I had a breakdown."

Nazz croons and rests her hand on his shoulder. "Aw, honey… what happened?"

Kevin tells her everything but is careful to leave out the parts about Edd's scars. She looks torn between shock and confusion, occasionally cutting him off with a "Eddward Vincent did _what_ now?" or "You cannot seriously be telling me that _Double D_ said _that_ to _you_ …" By the time he's finished the bell is ringing and Marie is slipping into class with Edd in tow.

Nazz just stares at Kevin shaking her head. She still hasn't responded and shows no signs of doing so anytime soon. He doesn't blame her.

Marie pats Kevin's head as she passes then collapses into the seat behind Nazz. "Wish you'd let me sit that close," she teases, referring to Kevin's spot next to Nazz. The blonde blushes and Kevin chuckles.

Edd snorts and instead of patting Kevin's head he actually ducks down and presses a kiss there which makes some nearby students coo and Kevin flush.

"You can have this seat," he says and gets up.

"Wha- Kevin, it's okay!" Nazz insists and the desperation in her eyes tells him their conversation is anything but over.

"No it's not," Edd interjects and flashes Kevin a blinding smile. " _Ma citrouille_ should be sitting with me."

"Insatiable," Kevin sighs but he's smiling.

Marie and Kevin somewhat awkwardly trade spots. As soon as he's sitting, Edd grabs the edge of Kevin's desk and drags him closer until they are practically touching. Kevin yelps as the seat jerks but finds himself laughing softly, just letting it happen.

Their teacher, Ms. Harris comes in and pauses for a moment to take in the four desks now clumped together, eyes pausing on the mortification on Kevin's face before moving on.

"Well, class…"

* * *

Kevin knows something's up when he's asked to go to the math pod in his next class. His teacher is giving him a weird look and Kevin is typically left alone by all of his teachers. He's a good student and quiet not to mention he never back-talks or spends class on his phone. He's never pulled out of class for any reason; the other students even giggle about it.

He moves to take the hall pass from his teacher but pauses. Mr. J, his statistics teacher and the school tennis coach, is looking at him like he does when he finds a problem he considers particularly challenging and it's the most unnerving thing in the world.

"Um… Mr. Jackson?"

"Yes?"

"Is something wrong?"

"Ah, no. Nothing wrong. Just go work area in the math pod," he tells him, referring to the small room in each pod where teachers can gather to discuss their class plans and eat lunch. "And for Christ's sake, kid, call me Mr. J."

Kevin blushes and hurries along.

In the math workroom is Ms. Harris and Ms. James as well as, oddly enough, Mr. Madison, coach of the swim team, and the wacky old Latin teacher who Kevin only knows as Magister, the Latin word for (you guessed it) teacher. They're all standing around the table at the center of the room except for Ms. Harris who is sitting with a soggy bowl of cereal in front of her. It seems they're having a heated discussion, voices low so Kevin only catches little snatches of what they're saying like "Don't you dare, Alex!" or "But Susan!".

He clears his throat awkwardly and they all turn to look at him with wide eyes.

"Kevin!" Magister cries cheerfully and beckons him in.

"Hey there, stomach better?" Coach Madison asks.

Kevin blinks at him a moment before blushing thickly. He's referring to what Edd told him about Kevin feeling sick that day he puked in the locker room (and, you know, stole Edd's hat). "Ye-yeah, all better. Sorry, took me a minute…"

Madison smiles good naturedly and pats him on the shoulder.

Ms. Harris takes his hall pass from him gently in order to sign it and smiles. Something is up.

"So…" Ms. James begins carefully.

"We hear you and Edd are dating!" Magister says brightly.

Kevin chokes on air and begins hacking violently into his arm making Coach Madison pat him on the back awkwardly as Ms. Harris begins spewing apologies about how it was inappropriate of them to ask and so on.

"Oh my god!" Kevin wheezes. "Is that why I'm here?"

The nervous stares he gets in return tell him that yes, yes that is exactly why he's here.

"We're just curious…" Madison says slowly. "I mean, I _do_ spend a lot of time with Edd and I never get to hear much about his personal life…"

"He's secretive," Magister adds with a firm nod of his head. "Don't know why. Is it because he's gay?" he hums thoughtfully.

"That's insensitive," Ms. Harris hisses angrily.

"Aw, come on," he sighs.

"Never thought he was gay…" Madison says thoughtfully. "I mean, I can see it now, but I just didn't think-"

"Jerry," Ms. Harris sighs before looking to Kevin. "I'm sorry Kevin, we-" she shrugs, smile more of a wince than anything.

"Um…" Kevin snorts then begins laughing nervously. "Do you guys… like… gossip about this sort of thing?"

"Well, our two favorite and best students just came out and are now dating," Magister titters, "we'll say it's those special circumstances that led to us gossipping like old biddies."

Kevin is shocked into another tense laugh. "Oh jeez…"

"The most important thing," Ms. James says finally, "is that you and Eddward are okay. We really just wanted to check on you two. It was really very brave of you two to come out," she adds with a gentle smile.

Kevin gulps and nods quickly. "Thanks but it wasn't really a big deal."

"But it was," Madison insists. "Took more guts than I'd ever have. We know kids can be cruel. No one is bothering you two are they?"

Kevin shakes his head quickly. "No one will bother Edd. It's nothing to worry about."

"Kevin…" Ms. James insists. "The nurse told us-"

"It's fine!" he cries a little too loudly and holds his hands up. There's a sudden rush of anxiety and panic which seizes his heart. "Please! It's fine! Edd protects me. Just- just please don't tell my parents. They would totally freak out."

"Oh…" Ms. Harris murmurs. "Do they not know…?"

Kevin flushes. "The-they know. That I'm bi, I mean."

"Bi?" Madison mutters and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly.

"He's bisexual, Jerry," Ms. James explains with a long suffering sigh.

"Jesus Christ, how many sexualities are there?"

Both women sigh heavily and look at Kevin apologetically.

"Anyway, Kevin, is there a reason you don't want us to talk to your parents?" Ms. James asks carefully.

"They don't know that people bother me, is all," he shrugs. "And they would overreact…"

"Kevin," Ms. Harris interjects suddenly and shifts anxiously, "why haven't you come to one of us?"

He shrugs helplessly. "It's… it's sort of pointless…"

Ms. Harris frowns and looks to the others for help but they're all quiet. Finally she sighs and looks to Kevin once more. "It is _illegal_ for anyone to lay a hand on you, Kevin."

"I know…" he murmurs and looks at his feet.

"We can make it stop."

Kevin has to suppress a wry laugh. The entire football team harrasses him, it's not like anyone would believe him or even care if he told them. There's a reason the football team, and really all of the athletes, can do whatever they want: they make the school money through tickets and the like. Once there were a couple of football players accused of sexual harassment and even then nothing happened.

His teachers can say this all they want but it's just not true.

"If it ever gets out of hand, I _will_ tell you. I promise," Kevin says firmly.

Ms. Harris nods gently but her frown remains. "And Edd? You say he takes care of you?"

Kevin blushes thickly and squirms under their gazes. He cannot believe they're having this conversation right now. He just wants to hide in a hole or disappear into the floor.

Magister laughs, "I think that's a yes!"

Ms. Harris finally smiles. "He's a good kid. I'm glad you two have each other."

Kevin's face is so hot it hurts. This cannot be happening.

"So… one more awkward question," Madison mumbles.

"No!" Ms. James snaps and looks about ready to strangle him. It's obvious they've talked about whatever this is before.

Madison ignores her and plows on. "You and Edd - when you were in the locker room…"

"Oh my god! No, no, no!" Kevin cries and begins waving his hands violently. "No!"

"Jerry!" Ms. Harris gasps. "What are you even saying?"

"They were all alone in the locker room! I don't know!"

"No!" Kevin squeaks. "Oh my god, _no_! I had to get something from Edd and Nazz was going to take pictures for the school paper of him swimming and then I got sick and just _no_!"

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry for asking! I mean, two teenage boys alone in a locker room- Oh, Edd had showered too…" he adds and purses his lips thoughtfully.

"Because he was swimming!" Kevin cries shrilly. "We only started dating yesterday! We- just, no!"

"Stop harassing him!" Ms. James hisses and actually smacks Madison's arm.

"Wait, you only started dating yesterday?" Ms. Harris asks in puzzlement but her question goes unanswered.

"What? I need to know what's going on with my kids!"

"Kevin and Eddward are both responsible young men, you know they wouldn't do anything inappropriate. They are the most respectful and well behaved students here."

"You'd be surprised," a voice calls from behind him and Kevin nearly jumps out of his skin, turning to find Eddward walking through the doorway with another hall pass in hand. He winks, "Hey Pumpkin."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he cries shrilly. "I was puking in the locker room! You were swimming! Nothing happened!"

"Jeez, relax. I'm just referring to how you curse like a sailor."

Kevin can't help but scoff. "You aren't really one to judge."

Edd looks legitimately insulted. "I never curse."

"I mean you think 'hell' is a curse word."

"I can't believe you just cursed in front of our teachers," he snarks.

"I can't believe you're still talking, _requin_."

Kevin should have seen this coming: Edd only grins at the nickname. "Aw, you do love me!"

Madison coughs and Magister chortles. "You two certainly don't act like you're dating."

"Kevin is cruel. Ball and chain and all that," he jokes and Magister's laugh rings out harshly.

Kevin hides his face with a groan. "Shut _up_ , Double D…"

Madison only chuckles and pats Edd on the back. "Congrats, kid."

Edd beams and Kevin rolls his eyes.

"And yes, Ms. Harris, we did just start dating yesterday. Isn't that right, Pumpkin?"

"Oh my god! Don't call me that in front of our teachers," he hisses back. "Were you just standing out there listening?"

"Come on, I was curious."

"You just enjoy making my life miserable," Kevin whines. "I'm going back to class."

"What? But I just got here!"

Kevin rolls his eyes. "Shut up, Edd."

"Wait," Ms. James cuts in. "We just to make sure you're okay - both of you? You can tell us."

"Did something happen?" Kevin sighs. "Why are you all so concerned?"

"Kevin," Ms. Harris almost snaps and he looks at her with alarm. "You had to go to the nurse yesterday."

"Are those bruises…?" Madison mumbles and motions to the boy's chin.

"Yeah," Edd cuts in. "It was Trent Frady and that cousin of his."

"Edd!" Kevin hisses and hits his arm.

Those blue eyes turn on him, suddenly vicious and cold. It's a look that could freeze blood. "What?" he snaps.

"Don't- I don't want any trouble, okay? I just want to be left alone-"

"Just letting them continue isn't going to change anything."

Kevin feels like absolute shit and he's really not in the mood for this bullshit. He feels like his chest is burning up and his stomach is twisting like he could puke again with a little prompting.

"You don't have any right to talk about this," Kevin bites back suddenly and Edd looks so shocked that Kevin's stomach immediately twists with guilt (he's totally going to puke).

"Boys…" Ms. Harris says hesitantly. "Just stop for a minute. Was anyone there to see what happened?"

"Both of us, Marie and Lee Kanker as well as Nazz Van Bartonschmeer."

Kevin's chest is growing tight with horror. This should not be happening. Every time he has tried to tell someone what his bullies have done to him it would only get worse. He can't let this continue but he also can't find his voice. It feels like there's something stuck in his throat which constricts his breathing and keeps his words locked away.

He feels lightheaded and dizzy.

"Kevin…" Ms. James says gently and steps closer to rest her hands on his shoulders. He meets her warm brown eyes hesitantly. "Sweetheart, it's going to be okay. No one is going to hurt you."

His voice continues to fail him; he can only nod jerkily.

She steps back slowly as if she's afraid to let him go and Edd immediately wraps his arm around Kevin's shoulders to pull him closer. Kevin melts into the boy's side, eyes sliding closed almost immediately.

"He's feeling bad today," Edd says in explanation and the others hum in acknowledgement. "Didn't sleep well. I should get him back to class."

Kevin snorts. "You don't have to walk me to class. No one is in the halls."

"I didn't ask you," Edd snarks and Kevin can't help but laugh at the sass in his voice. "Jeez, don't fall asleep…" he mutters and nudges Kevin gently. The boy only grunts and puts more weight into leaning on him.

"Here," Madison says as he takes Edd's hall pass and signs it messily on his hand before returning it. Ms. Harris gives him Kevin's as well.

Edd sighs heavily and wheels Kevin around. The redhead grumbles unintelligibly and stumbles over his feet making Edd chuckle and Magister titter again.

"Thank you all for your concern," Edd says quietly and then guides Kevin out.

Kevin clings to Edd and the boy holds him close with such care it makes Kevin's head feel even lighter. Edd pauses at the end of the hall and brushes a thumb over the edge of his jaw as the smaller boy looks up at him sleepily. "You're cute like this," he says softly and his lips quirk.

Kevin can't help but wonder what would happen if he stood on his tiptoes and brushed their lips together.

"Do you want me to carry you?"

Kevin scoffs.

"I can. I can just take us home right now if you're feeling too bad. I can take us to the weight room. No one is allowed back there during the day, not without a teacher there, but I can get us in easily. You can sleep on the equipment. Whatever you call those things. I'm allowed to do pretty much anything I want, to be honest. They even let me leave during lunch. I can just take you home then."

Kevin giggles a little hysterically. "No, I need to go to class."

"What about during lunch, _mon coeur_? I don't want you to feel bad…"

Kevin shivers as Edd's hand slides up his back and his fingers ghost across Kevin's pale cheek. His stomach burns with his pleasure as he leans into the touch. "I'll sleep tonight."

"I'll hold you tonight," Edd adds and his warm breath brushes across the boy's skin so he shudders. Breathing in each of Edd's exhales, all warm and smelling perfectly of him, Kevin feels like he's not breathing at all. "You won't feel alone."

Kevin suddenly feels like crying. "You won't, either."

Those elegant fingers tip his chin upwards so their eyes meet. Edd suddenly seems terribly close. "I'll always be here if you want me to be…"

"I-I do," Kevin gulps. His head is hazy and he just wants to sleep but he knows this is a feeling that isn't going to fade. He's sure of it. "I do want you."

Edd's blue eyes lock with Kevin's green. The pale boy's heart skips a beat. He knows what the taller wants and he can't help but want it too. His hands rest lightly on Edd's shoulders and he slowly leans in, eyes sliding closed. Their lips brush softly, hardly a kiss, simply a moment of breathing each other in and allowing their skin to touch.

Edd sighs in content, his hands resting on Kevin's hips so carefully it's as if he's afraid he's going to scare the other boy off. Other than that he makes no move to deepen the kiss, no move to grope or grab or force. It sends a shock of pleasure down Kevin's spine which honestly surprises him.

The kiss is unexpectedly soft and slow, not even a real kiss yet somehow much more powerful: Edd's lips just barely teasing across Kevin's. He never thought Double D could be so tender and careful with anything, let alone him. It makes him feel warm and special.

Suddenly wide awake, Kevin draws back to study Edd's face. The taller boy's eyes slide open and he blinks at Kevin slowly as if he's coming back to himself. When his eyes finally open all of the way they're alive in a way Kevin has never seen before; it makes his body thrum.

Licking his lips, Kevin's eyes fall back to the other boy's mouth, full lips soft and parted, then hesitantly meet those blue eyes once more. The intensity he finds there makes him feel powerful and beautiful. His stomach flips.

Very slowly, he leans in again and Edd tilts his head perfectly. Kevin's nerves return to him as their eyes lock, rising to his throat and nearly choking him.

They remain like that for a few quiet moments, simply breathing in each other's air straight from their lips. Edd makes no move to draw Kevin in, his hands still resting on the smaller boy's hips but neither drawing him in nor pushing him away. It's peaceful and undemanding yet it makes Kevin's stomach tight with want.

There's a loud bang and the sound of obnoxious laughter so that Kevin jolts back. The two stare at each other for a long moment, listening to the voices grow nearer as a group of boys come down the main hall laughing and carrying on.

Kevin just wants to grab Edd and drag him away someplace quiet and warm.

Edd is looking at him with clear fear. Kevin frowns. "Wha-what's wrong?"

Edd shakes his head and gulps. "I… shit, we just kissed… Kevin… we kissed."

"I know, I was there," Kevin teases.

"Kevin, this is serious," he almost whines. "Oh my god, I kissed-" he cuts himself off with the dorkiest (cutest) little giggle and a broad smile begins spreading across his face. "We kissed!"

Kevin bursts out laughing and hides his face in his hands. "Oh my god, Double D…"

Edd keeps releasing these shaky, sporadic little giggles that make Kevin's heart swell. "I-I've been wanting this for years… you don't understand."

Kevin steps closer with a shy smile and rests his hands on the taller boy's shoulders. "Well… we could always-"

"Well, well, well!"

Kevin's stomach feels like it's filled with led. He turns to find the two football players from yesterday as well as their captain, James Reagan. You can still see a slight crook to his nose where Edd broke it so long ago (apparently for Kevin, or at least that's what he had claimed).

"Look what we have here!" James grins viciously and stalks forward with the other two boys flanking him. "Two little fags, huh?"

Edd rolls his eyes and gently nudges Kevin until the boy is half behind him. It doesn't take much prodding as Kevin is more than happy to hide.

"Back off, Reagan," Edd sighs, tone carefully cold yet bored. Kevin is coming to realize he is practiced at pretending not to care.

"' _Back off_ '? Fuck you, Double D. I heard you were bothering my boys yesterday, that true?"

"Your 'boys' were bothering something of mine. I told you, you steer clear of me and I'll steer clear of you. That includes your boys and mine."

"Oh no, that's not how this works, you fuckin' twink."

Kevin actually snorts at the thought of anyone calling Double D, Double fucking D the Shark, a twink.

Edd glances back at him, smirking slightly. "Something you want to say, _mon coeur_?"

"I don't think that really deserves a response."

Edd hums in agreement before turning back to the three who are now glaring. "Is there something you actually need?" he sighs. "If not we'll be going."

"You listen to me," Reagan seethes and stalks forward until he's toe to toe with Edd. "We aren't going to stand by while you dirty up Peach Creek's reputation."

Edd scoffs. "Me? Last time I checked the swim team is drawing in twice the revenue as the football team. We've won four consecutive tournaments while you can't even beat the Lemon Brook Lumpers."

Reagan's face flushes a dark red and his tendons grow taught. He moves to press even closer and Kevin clutches Edd's elbow. "I'm going to make you regret ever disrespecting me, Vincent."

"Is that a threat, Mr. Reagan?" a voice booms and they all jump. Magister is standing in the doorway of the work room with his arms crossed. "I'm sure I didn't just hear that."

Chest heaving, the football captain finally takes a step back. "Of course not," he grits back.

"Get in here. All three of you," Magister barks and the three reluctantly listen, bowing their heads as they pass. "Boys," he says firmly but with less coldness in his voice, "you need to get to class."

The two nod quickly and watch as Magister disappears into the room once more, the door closing with a thunk behind him.

"Oh my god," Kevin says hoarsely. "They're-they're not punishing them, are they?"

Edd closes his hand around Kevin's jaw somewhat roughly and forces him to meet those sharp eyes. "Stand up for yourself."

Kevin smacks his hand away harder than he intends to and freezes, gulping nervously. "You really have no right to talk about this so just drop it," he grits back and turns to storm away.

"Kevin!" he sighs and follows after the redhead. "Kevin, I'm sorry, okay? Please just listen."

"Fuck you," Kevin bites back. Is fury is making his hands shake. "Fucking hypocrite."

"I know," Edd barks back and Kevin picks up his pace, quickly turning the corner. "Fuck- Kevin! Stop! I know! I know I was horrible to you but- Kevin."

Kevin is jerked to a stop when his arm is grabbed tightly. He grits his teeth and keeps his gaze pointedly focused ahead, refusing to even look in Edd's direction.

"Don't walk away from me," Edd pleads.

The pale boy jerks his head back, alarmed by the softness in his voice. "What?"

"Don't walk away. Come here," he whispers roughly and pulls Kevin back into his space, breathing his air. Kevin glares up at him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ever hurting you and I will spend the rest of my life finding ways to earn your forgiveness and trust if I have to. And that starts now, with this. I am not going to let another person hurt you. I'm never going to let anyone hurt you again, even if that person is you.

"You have to stand up for yourself and I will be here with you. You aren't alone, Kevin. You have me and Nazz, Marie and her sisters, the whole team. Those teachers," he insists, motioning to the work room. "We're going to support you."

Kevin's chest feels tight and his eyes burn with tears. "You… don't have to."

"I want to," he murmurs and cups Kevin's face. "I care about you. We all care about you. I'm going to keep you safe."

Kevin clenches his jaw and presses his face into the boy's chest. "You'll come over tonight?"

"Yes, I'll be there."

"Thanks…" he murmurs and finally draws back.

Edd tilts his hat back and presses a kiss to his forehead. "Not alone."

Gulping, Kevin nods. "Not alone."

* * *

Thank you for reading! Your reviews give me life ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! Just a few updates: over on my tumblr, lavirarose, I mentioned maybe writing a few oneshots about the more "steamy" side of Edd and Kevin's relationship. So, those will eventually be posted on tumblr and AO3 if you want to check them out. I'll add more details once they're out there!

Anyway, this chapter has more plot. Then more cuddles. Then more plot (sort of). Also, more about Edd's past and his scars! Lots of cute shit! Lots of bonding!

* * *

The rest of the school day passes without incident after Kevin returns to class. Edd had walked him there, holding his hand and slowing upon occasion in order to press kisses to Kevin's knuckles and forehead, lips always lingering, brushing Kevin's bangs from his face and murmuring sweet words like "always here" and "I can take you home, _ma citrouille_ , just say the word". It was a terribly tempting offer, honestly. Kevin was exhausted and all he wanted to do was kiss Edd again, feel that sweet rush and let go of all of his fears. Instead he slipped back into class and napped throughout the lecture; the teacher actually asked if he wanted to go to the counseling room to rest on the couches there but he declined (mostly out of embarrassment).

Lunch is quicker than ever with Nazz on one side and Double D on his other, both smiling and laughing. He eats with Edd just as he had yesterday, sharing a deluxe meal. Edd keeps trying to get him to eat more, asking if he needs anything else, if he wants a drink or anything ("Money isn't an object, you know that. I'll get you something with caffeine. Pumpkin, come on, you need something."). It's embarrassing how much Kevin is enjoying being babied by him.

After they finish eating, Edd immediately takes Kevin to the library where they curl up on beanbags so Kevin can doze while Edd reads a textbook. Edd smells so lovely and the quiet of the room makes the boy sleep deeply. As if all of this isn't sweet enough, Edd wakes him gently with soft kisses across his cheeks, hands petting his sides, and adoring words: "Wake up, sweetheart. _Bonjour, bonjour, ma citrouille._ Time to get up."

Sleepy and content beyond words, Kevin even lets Edd kiss him, melting into the boy's beautiful hand when it cups Kevin's cheek and shivering when his lips drift to the very corner of his mouth. It feels so good. Kevin wants to curl up with him and never face life again.

Edd walks him to class. They hold hands the whole way there.

Class is also painless, Edd's team takes Kevin in as if he has always been there, a part of their tightly knit group. His classmates congratulate him some more and a few ask some prying questions about how he and Edd got together but luckily Rebecca was there to shoo them away, claiming they were embarrassing him or being nosy.

Edd texts him at least five times just to make sure he still feels like he can get through the day. _Say the word and I'll have you home safe and sound,_ he assures. Kevin feels like he's melting.

His teachers keep patting him on the back and checking on him, not in a prying way but simply to assure he's still okay, that no one is bothering him, that he's not been hurt today or that the incident yesterday, with those two football players pinning him to the lockers, hasn't left him rattled or in pain.

Kevin can almost convince himself that it's all going to be okay.

When the final bell rings, he hurries to his locker to trade out his books he doesn't need this weekend for those that he does and is surprised to find Edd there, waiting. His smile is gorgeous and perfectly imperfect with the teasing twist of his lips and the gap between his teeth. Kevin can't help but smile back.

"I thought you had to get to practice."

"I do," he replies easily, "but I wanted to check on you one last time."

Kevin blushes, stomach warming pleasantly. "I'm fine. You really should get to practice. I'd hate to be the reason you're late."

Edd sighs. "Fine, but first a kiss."

Kevin looks up at him with brilliantly red cheeks and he smirks, tapping his own. "Just one."

Kevin rolls his eyes but stands on his tiptoes as Edd leans down to press a hesitant kiss to his cheek. He almost jumps when Edd's hands gently grasp his waist, holding him still so Edd can return the kiss. His lips seem to caress Kevin's skin; it makes him shiver pleasantly.

Those strong fingers carefully slip away and Kevin lowers himself back onto his heels. "Go on," he says hoarsely. "I'll see you soon."

Edd's smile is like sunshine. "Bye, _ma citrouille_. _Je_ _t'aime_!" he calls cheerfully even as he walks away.

Kevin tries to hide his smile behind his books but it's no use: he's sure his pleasure is radiating from him.

Closing his locker, Kevin walks quickly to the front of the school, heading to the student parking lot where Edd and he had locked up his bike after removing it from Edd's car that morning. He smiles when he sees Nazz there waiting for him and picks up his pace, quickly worming through the crowd of lingering students.

He's about to hop down the front steps when a hand comes down on his shoulder, dragging him back.

Someone whistles. "It's the little fag, guys!"

"Fuck," Kevin mutters under his breath just as he's whipped around by one of the football players.

There's a little ring of players, about five, off to the side of the front entrance (Kevin can't believe he missed them) along with Mary Jane, head cheerleader, and her best friend and cousin, Lisa. Kevin feels a shock of relief when he sees how Mary Jane is glaring at his harasser and the pity on Lisa's face. Lisa is always so sweet to everyone, even him; he can only hope she can somehow stop this.

"Daniel," Mary Jane snaps and takes a step forward so she's standing in the center of the circle, poised to challenge him, "let him go."

"What?" Daniel growls. "'m just messin' with the kid."

"Double D will fuck you up," another of the football players pipes up and he visibly leans away from them. "Don't touch him."

"I ain't afraid of Double fuckin' D," Daniel scoffs and a couple of his teammates chortle.

"Daniel, I'm serious," the other boy grits out. "I'm not gonna' save your ass when that crazy motherfucker comes after you."

Thinking Daniel is sufficiently distracted, Kevin tries to slip away only to have the hand on his shoulder dig in painfully. He winces and grits his teeth. He's way too tired for this shit and he still has to bike home.

"You're hurting me," he grumbles and tries to jerk away unsuccessfully.

Lisa looks like she's about to cry. "Dan! Don't hurt him!"

"Let him go," Mary Jane insists. "What did he ever do to you?"

"Y'know he ratted on Trent and Austin don't you?" he bites back and drags Kevin forward so they're almost side to side. "Tell 'em how you tattled on them like a fuckin' kid."

Feeling brave, Kevin glares up at him. "I didn't fucking 'tattle' on anyone. Now let me go."

Daniel curls his lips and begins to lean down to get into the smaller boy's face when his hand is suddenly forcefully removed.

"I said to let him go," Mary Jane growls. Her hand clenched around his wrist is visibly shaking with her anger. "It's disgusting how you guys go around picking on some little kid just because he's smaller than you."

One of the other guys scoffs. "He's a fuckin' fag, Mary."

"So?" Lisa snaps. Kevin feels confused by how visibly upset she is, shaking and her bottom lip wobbling. "So am I."

They all get quiet for a minute and even Kevin looks at little Lisa Buchanan, practically everyone's baby sister and the kindest person in school (the only person truly, selflessly kind to Kevin even when her friends are mean), in shock. She gulps, fists clenched by her sides and body rigid, but stands her ground.

"Shit… what?" Daniel mumbles finally. "You're a lesbian?"

"She's pan," Mary Jane says and her lips curl into a proud smile. "Now leave him alone."

The original boy whistles in appreciation. "Damn, man, you can't piss off Double D and Lisa in one day - that's just suicidal."

Daniel glances down at Kevin and Kevin glares back at him with his jaw set. The taller boy finally eases away and Mary Jane releases his wrist.

Kevin looks to Mary Jane and then to Lisa. He wants to say something to express all of his relief and absolute appreciation for what Lisa has just done but the words get stuck in his throat. "Thanks," he murmurs hoarsely and they both smile gently.

He casts one last wary glance around the group then turns to leave. With his luck, he slams into someone. It's fucking Philips the "Screwdriver".

"Hey there, got some homework for me?" he sneers and Kevin's heart feels like it's in his throat. He can't speak, can't swallow.

Behind him, Mary Jane heaves a long suffering sigh. "He was just leaving."

"Not without giving me his homework, he ain't. Come on, Kevin, give me what you got for math-"

"I haven't even done it yet," he groans.

"Well you better get to it then."

Kevin glares up at the taller boy, clammy hands clenched by his sides. "No."

Philips' laugh is booming. People turn to look at them curiously then stop to stare when they spot Kevin. A few begin texting or whispering furiously. Kevin is half hopeful, half afraid that word will get to Edd somehow.

"So, you start dating Double D and you think you're hot shit, huh?"

"I don't think that at all," Kevin grits back but his heart feels like a panicked bird in his chest. This is such a monumentally bad idea but all he can think about is what Edd said about sticking up for himself and the fear is outweighed by this moronic certainty that Edd will somehow protect him, even if it's just the threat of his presence that stops anyone from hurting Kevin. "I don't have my homework done. There's nothing for you to have. I'm going home," he says firmly and turns to walk away.

"Oh no you don't," Phil barks and grabs him by the back of his shirt, dragging him back. "I want it now, you little shit."

"I don't _have_ it now," Kevin seethes, hands shaking. "I'm leaving."

Phil steps forward so Kevin has to stumble back, trapped between him and the other players. "That's not how this works. When I want something, I get it. Do you understand me?"

"That's not how the _world_ works," Kevin snaps. In the distance, he can hear Nazz crying his name.

Phil rears back, face turning red, just as the doors slam open. Everything goes painfully quiet.

Kevin's stomach drops when he sees Edd.

He ran here, his red cheeks and heaving chest tell Kevin as much. He's in his tight, black swim shorts and has his t-shirt on, all of him still dry like he just rushed out halfway through changing, but the most shocking thing, the thing that makes Kevin's heart hurt, is that he has no hat on. Edd's hair curls around his face, bangs thick and long enough to cover the small scar on his temple and most of the one over his right brow but not all of it by any means.

He looks fucking furious, too, eyes sharp and mouth tight. When his eyes meet Kevin's the smaller boy actually winces, old fears rising like bile to his throat. Edd stalks closer, forcing the other players to stumble back, and steps between Kevin and Phil forcefully. Lithe Edd standing up to Philips the fucking Screwdriver looks like he could be crushed yet there's something so vicious about him, something predator-like in his movements, that even Philips steps back.

"Is there a problem, Philips?" he asks quietly, all soft yet louder than anything else.

Peering around Edd, Kevin can see that Phil, like the rest of them, is staring at Edd's scar.

"Won't be if you walk away," he says finally and it's as if speaking takes everything in him.

"Well, when you put it like that," Edd hums, voice tense with anger and sarcasm, and turns to grasp Kevin's hand.

He jumps but at the same time clings to Edd like a lifeline. Wide-eyed and pulse pounding, Kevin allows Edd to draw him away, honestly surprised by how gentle Edd's hold is despite the look of pure fury on his face.

"Hey!" Phil cries.

"What?" Edd deadpans, not even looking back as he guides Kevin down the stairs. "I'm walking away, am I not?"

Kevin laughs in shock at the teasing edge to his voice and clutches at his arm tighter.

Behind them, the crowd erupts with voices, some people laughing and others hooting and hollering in support. Kevin blushes thickly and leans against Edd as they walk.

"How'd you know?" he croaks.

"Rebecca got a text from Lisa and Coach gave me the okay," he explains but his voice is still stiff.

"I'm sorry," Kevin murmurs and moves to shift away but Edd draws him back.

"What for, _mon amour_?" he rumbles. Kevin feels relieved when his tone eases slightly.

"I-I'm interrupting your practice."

"Kevin," he says gently and the smaller boy peers up at him hesitantly to find his eyes warm and tender, "you're more important than practice."

"Bu-but your scars-"

"What?" Edd asks in confusion and Kevin drags him to a stop just before they reach his bike.

"Edd," he hisses, wide-eyed and sick to his stomach once more. "You don't have your hat on."

Edd's face visibly pales and his hands drifts to run through his hair. "Oh… oh _fuck_ …" he gasps and stumbles back slightly, horror twisting his face.

Kevin gulps. He thinks he might puke. "Double D," he murmurs and reaches out to him though he's not sure what he can do.

"Well…" Edd murmurs, eyes distant. "How bad do they look?"

"Not bad. It's not like that," Kevin says gently. "I was just worried, you know, because you never…"

"Does it…" Edd gulps and bites his lip viciously. He winces, squeezing his eyes closed, "Does it bother you?"

"What…?" he murmurs, shocked, his heart sinking when he hears the pain in Edd's voice.

"That I… I don't know. My 'school heartthrob' status is gone so…"

Kevin scoffs and takes Edd's beautiful hands in his own, thumbs stroking his knuckles. "Don't be stupid. Girls are going to be all over you because of this."

Edd's eyes finally focus on him, purposefully blank. "What?" he asks finally, just as Nazz hesitantly approaches.

"It's hot," Kevin insists.

"Shit, Double D," Nazz murmurs breathlessly as she peers up at him with wide eyes. "Not to be weird or anything but yeah, I gotta agree with Kevin."

Edd's face flushes lightly and Kevin snickers. "See? It's hot."

Edd huffs softly and looks away. "Don't mess with me…"

"Edd, I sort of hate your guts," Nazz grouches. "Admitting you look good is more painful to me than pulling a fucking tooth."

"See?"

Edd ducks his head, throat visibly working. God, seeing beautiful, confident and powerful Eddward in this state is almost surreal. Kevin can't help but think it's cute.

"Uh… are you sure…?" he rasps.

"Yes," Kevin says gently and draws his hands to his own chest. "Edd, it's okay. I promise no one here thinks they're anything but sexy."

Lips quirk to flash that gap and Edd draws him into a hug. "You go home and take a nap, okay?" he says softly. Kevin nods and presses his face to Edd's chest. "Not alone?" he murmurs in Kevin's ear hesitantly.

The smaller boy looks up to him shyly. "Definitely not. And you? You okay?"

Edd smiles brilliantly. "You're here aren't you?"

* * *

When Kevin gets home he is utterly exhausted in every sense of the word.

Nazz, who walks by his side the whole way, gives him a backbreaking hug and kisses his cheek chastely when they reach his drive. "Go rest, dude. You look like shit."

He laughs manicly and nods in agreement.

Bike shoved into the garage, he finally trudges into the house with a huge sigh of relief.

His mother spots him, the bags under his eyes and the pallor of his skin, and almost winces. "You okay, honey?" she asks gently and presses a quick kiss to his head. "You're still sort-of-not-dating Edd, right?"

He glares at her weakly. "We're not dating. Not really."

She hums in response, lips quirked. "Mhm, whatever you say. You look like you need a nap, sweetiepie. You go on upstairs and I'll call you down when dinner is ready, how about that?" she asks before gently prodding him towards the stairs.

He's more than happy to go take a nap but pauses, turning back to her. "Edd is going to come over later. Spend the night and stuff. Just send him up, okay?"

Her smile is blinding.

He rolls his eyes and heads upstairs as quickly as possible.

Kevin's bed has never looked so inviting. He wants to bury himself in the blankets and sleep for years.

Kicking off his shoes and, after a moment of hesitation, dragging off his shirt and pants to slip into some pajama bottoms, Kevin is not really worried about what Edd will think when he gets here to find a half-naked, scrawny, and generally unappealing dork sprawled out and drooling.

Sleep, sleep, sleep is what he needs and all he needs and all he can think about.

As soon as his head hits the pillows, he's out.

* * *

Kevin is woken by fingers gently carding through his hair and the strong smell of chlorine. Head foggy, the pale boy nuzzles closer when the bed dips under Edd's weight.

"Hey," he slurs without even opening his eyes. "Practice okay?"

Edd laughs breathily and runs his fingers down Kevin's spine (he sighs, it's a sigh, just a sigh not a little moan and shiver; that's stupid, no).

"Yeah, _citrouille_ , it was good," Edd says gently and begins massaging Kevin's shoulders carefully (again, Kevin doesn't moan, he sighs). "Feeling better after sleeping?"

"Mm. Could sleep longer."

"You shouldn't mess up your circadian rhythm, though."

Kevin grunts and smacks at Edd's side blindly. The boy only chuckles.

"And what about your hat?" Kevin mumbles. "No one gave you shit did they? I'll totally beat them up," he jokes. (His stomach feels full of starlight when Edd laughs all sweet and soft.)

"It seems you were right," Eddward responds slowly. The redhead peeks up at him when he hears the note of embarrassment in the other's voice. The taller boy is sitting with his side to Kevin, cross-legged and hunched over slightly.

Edd's olive skin is rosy and beautiful in the fading light, his blue eyes distant. He has his hat on again but his bangs are sticking out from under the edge, a harsh black that only serves to bring out his eyes more. Kevin, not thinking clearly enough to feel hesitant, weakly slings an arm over Edd's crossed legs and winds it awkwardly around his waist.

"About what?" he mumbles before nosing back into the pillows.

Edd's lithe fingers tease down his arm. "No one," he pauses, "was cruel about it. They were extremely curious and perhaps a little nosey but… they didn't poke or prod. And, well… a girl asked me out." He laughs somewhat giddily, "It sounds ridiculous but it's true."

Kevin's heart seizes in his chest, his stomach dropping. He's wide awake now.

"Oh?" he prods, trying to maintain his sleepy tone. "What'd you say?"

Edd outright laughs at that and Kevin's heart begins to hammer in his chest ("What do you think I said?" he's going to reply, smile vicious, "I said yes." Why wouldn't he? Probably a gorgeous girl, probably a smart girl, probably someone actually worthy of his time).

Instead, Edd squeezes his arm gently as his laughter dies down before asking, "What do you think? I'm not only dating _you_ but I'm _gay_. I said no."

Kevin hums noncommittally. His stomach is still twisted up in knots.

He's not sure what's wrong with him. It's not like he's actually dating Edd, even if the whole school thinks he is, and he doesn't really want to either (he doesn't, he promises he doesn't. Why would he? Edd is a jerk. That's right, a jerk. And he's not that handsome. A jerk, Kevin has to remind himself, he's a jerk).

Really, if Edd wanted to end the charade right now he could. Kevin would be okay with that, just worried about getting beat up (he kissed him, he's promised him a safe haven, he's promised him love and friendship and fuck - fuck, Kevin would mind. Kevin might just break.).

Just because he kissed Kevin and has been assuring him of his love means nothing (his heart feels like it's splintering in his chest). They aren't really together (they kissed, they kissed, they kissed). They aren't (he wants to forget the kiss and, oh god, how Edd held him like he was the most precious thing in the world). Probably never will be, especially if people are now asking Edd out and he's feeling truly confident about his scars.

Why wouldn't he want to go out with someone attractive and popular now? He was probably only interested in some unattractive dork because of his own self-doubt. Maybe the scars made him feel like he's in a league as low as Kevin but now he sees he's so much better. Fuck, he _is_ so much better.

Especially now that Kevin feels like he knows him better it's so obvious he's even more unreal than anyone ever thought: he's not just the elegant, cultured genius living amongst country hicks but he's a fucking sweetheart, too. Kevin, the scrawny little ginger from across the street, never stood a chance.

Why did Kevin ever get his hopes up?

He wishes he could have gone on thinking Edd was a complete and utter bastard, now.

Edd is quiet for a moment. "You don't really think I would say yes, do you…?" he asks carefully, suddenly breaking through Kevin's dark thoughts.

"I dunno…" Kevin nearly whispers. But he does know, he does think Edd would have - no, he _should_ have - said yes.

He can hear Edd gulp in the quiet. "I know I was cruel to you at times but… why do you treat me like such a bastard? Do you honestly think after everything I've done, all of the risks I've taken and the times I've gone out of my way for you I'd just… leave you?"

Kevin tries to withdraw his hand but Edd's fingers close around his forearm tightly.

"Why?" he asks, voice tight with something Kevin can't name.

His guilt is hot in his throat but no words will come out and even if they could what would he even say? How could he explain that he's so, so below Edd that it's painful to even look at him?

"Why would you think that?" Edd insists, almost fierce yet still sad and hurt.

"Why wouldn't you leave?" Kevin croaks and swipes his free hand over his face still pressed into the blankets and pillows. He suddenly feels so exposed with Edd holding onto him and his shirt gone. "I'm just a nuisance. Can't even take care of myself. Make you look bad, too. I'm alone."

"Kevin," he growls, grip tightening around the boy's arm. "I won't allow you to say such idiotic things about yourself or me. You are most certainly not a nuisance, especially not to me. And as long as I'm here you're never going to be alone. I'm never going to leave you. The farthest from you I'll ever be is just across the street. Do you understand?"

Kevin presses his face almost violently into the covers. "You don't have to-"

" _Kevin_ ," he sighs softly.

The boy's arm is released and pushed away. Kevin twists his neck around painfully fast to look up at Edd with fear in his eyes. Edd shifts slightly and kneels beside him, hands now running up his back. God, they're so soft and warm and strong; Kevin feels tiny beneath him.

"Don't be afraid, I already told you I'm not leaving."

Blushing, Kevin hides his face in the blankets once more. "Okay…"

The bed shifts slightly and a kiss is pressed to the top of Kevin's head; he almost whimpers. "Not alone, never alone. I'm here now and I'll make sure it stays that way. I'm always going to be here, _précieux,_ " he croons and another kiss is pressed to the boy's shoulder. "Such beautiful skin," he sighs, adoration clear in his voice. Kevin's breath catches in his throat. Edd's lips drag across his shoulder blade lightly, his breath warm yet causing goosebumps. "Never felt anything so lovely…"

Kevin hesitantly peeks up at him, face warm and heart beating fast. Edd draws back and smiles at him, tender and sweet, as his fingers ease down the pale boy's spine. The knot of self-pity and hate forming in Kevin's stomach begins to melt.

"What-" Kevin's voice becomes trapped in his throat and he looks away in embarrassment. "What do you mean?"

"Your skin," he explains shamelessly, his fingertips just barely brushing across the small of Kevin's back. "Your skin is beautiful and soft… It's lovely…" he murmurs and slides his palm up once more, stroking spine and shoulder.

Kevin, shy and embarrassed yet squirming with hot pleasure, presses his face into the blankets beneath him. It feels amazing, Edd's hands running across his skin so reverently and his words sending warmth to Kevin's stomach where it coils tight. It's such a simple touch yet it shakes him to his core. God, as pathetic and strange as it sounds, he just wants Edd to pet him and never stop. Let him go on thinking they're equals as long as it means he'll touch Kevin like this.

"Is this okay?" Edd murmurs, hand stilling. "I know this is-" he cuts himself off and Kevin peers up at him to find he's biting his lip somewhat harshly. "Is it too much?"

He thinks about it for a moment then shakes his head. "No," Kevin croaks. "It feels really- it feels really nice," he stutters out shyly.

"Are you sure?" Edd persists, so tender and concerned that Kevin feels like he's melting. "We-" he pauses and Kevin peeks at him once more to find his brows furrowed. "We already took a big step today…"

The soft blush that rises to Double D's cheeks makes Kevin's heart skip a beat.

Their first kiss. They had their first kiss. It's hardly sunk in with all of the drama that occurred today. Actually, he's not even sure if it was a kiss it was so chaste and simple; their lips hardly brushed.

Then again, it was arguably the most sensual moment of Kevin's life so far.

"I want to do this right," Edd says finally, gentle yet firm in his conviction. "I want to make sure you feel safe with me, that you want to be with me…"

Kevin's chest feels as if it is about to burst with warmth and want. At first he curls in on himself further, feeling so giddy and affectionate that he must hide it, before hesitantly rolling onto his back.

When Edd's sharp eyes rake over his chest and stomach, piercing and hungry, Kevin's face grows so hot it hurts.

"I-I can put a shirt on," he squeaks. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I mean, does it make you uncomfortable?"

He has no clue why he's asking because even he can see Edd looks anything but uncomfortable.

Edd immediately shakes his head. "No," he supplies, voice rough with what Kevin can only describe as _want_. "No it most certainly does not, _mon amour_ , but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable either."

"Do you really-" Kevin gulps, "think it-it's okay? I mean, you like it?"

"What?"

"Uh, like-" his face burns and he looks away, arms tightly crossing over his chest. "I mean, I'm not really muscular and I'm so pale and the freckles-"

Edd shocks him into silence by straddling his hips and smoothing those elegant hands across the flat of his stomach so the muscles there tighten. Breath trapped in his chest, Kevin's eyes grow wide yet remain locked with Edd's. This doesn't feel real.

"Kevin," he sighs, exasperated yet fond, "I am very attracted to you. Mentally, emotionally and physically."

Face red, Kevin nods jerkily.

"I find your figure extremely attractive…" he adds with a small smile. "I could… always show you?"

"'Show' me?" Kevin whispers so softly even he can hardly hear it.

"Mhmm… With touches…" he murmurs and slides his hands up Kevin's sides so the boy's eyes grow even wider and he shivers. "And…" he lowers his head, body bowed over Kevin, but their eyes remain locked as if Edd is looking for any signs of discomfort, "kisses…" he whispers and presses his lips to the middle of Kevin's chest, over his breast bone.

Kevin shudders and a sound escapes his lips that causes him to flinch it's so kittenish and pathetic.

The taller boy hums in response, pleased almost, and Kevin's stomach flips.

" _Tu es à moi, es beau, es précieux_ … _Tout_ _à moi,_ " Edd's eyes gleam dangerously, his lips never leaving Kevin's skin so he can feel every breath, every movement of his lips. "Is this okay, Pumpkin?"

Edd's low, rough voice right against his skin sends a shiver down Kevin's spine; he makes another soft noise and tries to cover his face. "Thi-this is embarrassing."

"Why?" Edd asks gently, his fingers petting the boy's sides.

"I-I keep making-" he cuts himself off and viciously shakes his head.

"I can take my shirt off, too, darling. Would that make you feel better?"

"Oh my god. You just think you're so smooth, don't you?"

Edd finally draws back but Kevin can still feel his laugh against his skin. "I'm sorry," he says sincerely and Kevin parts his fingers to look up at him. "You're just so tempting…"

He rolls his eyes despite his nerves and the awkward situation. "What if my parents walk in?"

"Your mother told me they won't bother us. She also told me to get you to loosen up a bit in a highly suggestive manner. I doubt your parents are going to be bothered by us simply being shirtless."

Kevin groans. "But… we… You want to touch me, right?" he asks, mouth so dry the words seem to stick to his tongue. "So-so it wouldn't just be - us shirtless. I mean, we'd just be shirtless but we'd be touching so it's worse - and - and-"

Edd's gaze is so predatory that it seems to light Kevin's instincts on fire, reminding him that Edd is still dangerous and vicious. That doesn't stop his stomach from burning with want. A pressure is building up there, in the very pit of his abdomen, which he recognizes (with great embarrassment) as lust.

Edd doesn't say anything, only grabs Kevin gently around the ribs and draws him up so he's sitting. Confused and a little angry, Kevin watches as Edd climbs from his lap and then the bed to turns the lights out so the room is only lit by the sunshine streaming weakly through the windows, warm and urging Kevin to sleep once more.

Edd climbs back into bed but this time slides under the sheets and sits the pillows against the headboard before leaning back against them. Finally, he looks to Kevin expectantly.

"An hour more to sleep, how about that? It's not strange if we're sleeping."

Kevin glares at him warily. "It is… It's still really fucking weird."

"I won't do anything to you, only rub your back and play with your hair."

He hates to admit it but the promise of Edd touching him again makes him want to scramble forward.

Blushing, Kevin tentatively crawls to the top of the bed and slips under the sheets beside the taller boy. Uncertain and embarrassed, he looks to Edd to guide him.

He smiles gently and holds up the covers over his lap. "Come on," he murmurs, his other hand tucking Kevin's hair behind his ear. "I'll hold you."

"How?" Kevin croaks. "Won't that be uncomfortable?"

"Trust me, _mon coeur_."

Very, very hesitantly, Kevin crawls so he's kneeling between Edd's legs, facing the boy but not quite brave enough to meet those blue eyes. Edd carefully slips his hand from Kevin's hair to the back of his neck and draws him down. Kevin lets himself be guided and shyly rests his head against Edd's chest, right over his heart, basically lying on his stomach.

One arm slides around Kevin's back to cradle him and the other curls across Edd's own chest so his hand can cup the pale boy's cheek. Kevin carefully positions his arms on either side of Edd's strong chest, resting more on his right shoulder and Edd's left, directly over that steady heart, and tucks his fingers around Edd's ribs before stretching his legs out and allowing the tension to leave his shoulders so Edd bears all of his weight.

"There…" he murmurs and the hand cupping Kevin's cheek slides into his hair. "There, _mon amour_ , my sweetheart…"

The warmth and affection in his voice makes Kevin's stomach clench. "Isn't this uncomfortable for you? Can you even breathe?" he squeaks.

"I like it. I'll move if I need to. Are you not comfortable? I know it's a little awkward but I just want you here - where I can keep you safe."

He curls up slightly and clutches at Edd's shirt. His heart hurts it is so warm and full of want and affection. He has never felt this way before, never so powerless yet safe, as if Edd has taken the weight of the world from his shoulders and cloaked him in love.

Pale fingers dig into Edd's ribs and clutch at his shirt. "Please don't leave me," Kevin begs shakily.

Edd croons and holds him tighter. "I won't, I promise I won't…"

"You-you're too good to be true," he confesses warily and the taller boy hushes him gently, pressing kisses to all of the pale skin he can reach in this position. "I- this can't be real. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. There-there has to be something I'm missing. This can't be real."

"It is, darling," Edd assures him. "It is real. I'm here and so are you. Neither of us are going anywhere."

"Hold me…" he mewls helplessly, almost sobbing he is so needy and ashamed, and Edd draws him closer, hugs him tighter.

"I'm here, I'm here, sweetheart. Don't worry. Just sleep, _mon coeur_ , I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

* * *

"Wake up, _mon coeur_ … I brought my designs for the robot, want to see? Come on, they're amazing. You know you want to see. Get up, _précieux_ , you can't sleep all afternoon."

Kevin groans and stretches, batting at Edd's face when the boy begins peppering kisses all along his neck because they tickle. "Edd-" he grumbles.

The boy chuckles softly, breath warm and teasing against the point where Kevin's neck meets jaw. His body presses to Kevin's and he gasps softly, eyes snapping open. He's on his back now, no longer on top of Edd but under him, his ribs bracketed by Edd's forearms which trap Kevin pleasantly and hold the boy up while he presses more sweet kisses along Kevin's jaw.

Oh lord, he's shirtless (how did he forget that?) but worst of all Edd is positioned between Kevin's legs, abdomen resting directly on his groin.

Kevin is too stricken by waking up like this to even speak let alone move. It doesn't even register when he gasps again, breath catching, probably around his heart where it's stuck itself in his throat.

Edd's lips trail back to the end of Kevin's jaw and brush along his ear. "You talk in your sleep," he whispers and Kevin shudders, whining softly. He warily presses his hands to Edd's shoulders, intending to push him away but all of his objections die in his throat when Edd nips his ear gently. "Talk about me…"

Kevin is shaking now. He squeezes his eyes shut. He's not afraid, only anticipating more.

Memories of that dream the night before, the one in which Edd's hands were all over him, his mouth all over him-

"So sweet, my darling, how you were breathing my name…" he continues lowly, blue eyes raking over him so Kevin feels as if he's peeling his skin back and revealing all of his darkest secrets with his gaze alone. "I have never felt anything like this before, the absolute adoration I feel for you…"

Kevin bites his lips and squeezes Edd's shoulders tightly. He can't speak, he just can't. He's not sure he wants to.

"I've spent the past hour listening to you tell me to hold you and stay with you and just whispering my name like you love me…" Edd actually shivers at his own words and lets out a soft, sad noise that makes Kevin's heart hurt. He holds on tighter and even draws Edd closer. " _Tu es mon monde_ ," he murmurs as his lips drag down Kevin's neck, " _je veux t'embrasser. Je te veux, je te veux_ …"

"Tell me."

"Tell you what, _mon chéri_?"

"You-you said that-" he gulps and shuts his eyes. "You said that you were using French to say everything you-you want to say to me without making me upset. I want you to tell me," he insists softly and opens his eyes to meet Edd's piercing gaze. "Tell me what you're saying."

Edd blushes lightly and looks away. "Pumpkin, I don't know if-"

"Edd," he insists, voice rough and worn; he sounds wrecked with desire. Edd's chest quakes. "Please."

Edd meets his eyes and holds his gaze. " _Tu es mon monde_ ," he whispers. "You are my world."

Kevin sucks in a sharp breath before releasing it shakily. The words, the emotions in Edd's eyes, the power in his voice - it makes his chest ache with so much _feeling_ he doesn't know what to do with himself.

He nods, urging Edd to continue.

" _Je_ … _Je veux_ _t'embrasser…"_

Kevin hesitantly slides his hands up Edd's neck to cup his reddening cheeks. His skin is soft, too, soft and warm and, god, Kevin can understand why Edd wanted to touch his back and run his knuckles down his spine. "Tell me."

"I want-" his voice cracks and he winces.

The smaller boy hushes him gently and strokes his cheeks. "What do you want?"

"To embrace you," he croaks and lets his head hang. "To kiss you, to have you, to love you… For you… for you to _want_ me."

His breaths are coming out as if he has been punched in the chest and he refuses to meet Kevin's eyes; for that, the boy is relieved. Still he slips his hands towards Edd's hat and fingers the bobby pins there. His heart hammering in his chest, Kevin carefully removes the first.

Edd is so still, Kevin doesn't think he's breathing.

He moves on to the second and Edd is shaking slightly. The third and those blue eyes finally meet Kevin's, hopeful and questioning (and afraid in a way that makes Kevin's eyes burn with tears).

Kevin gently smooths his thumb across Edd's cheekbone as if catching the tears he senses the other boy wants to shed (that he himself is tempted to shed). His hands are shaking. "Can I…?"

"You may…" he says softly, eyes showing all of his relief and appreciation.

The small boy continues what he's doing slowly as his hands are shaking so badly and he would kill himself before he hurts Edd by accidently hitting his one scar. Finally, they are all off and Kevin hesitantly places them on the bedside table.

Edd's eyes are still locked on him and his Adam's apple bobs. "Kevin…"

"Yeah?"

"They-they really don't bother you? It's okay if they do. I understand."

Kevin's heart hurts so badly he whimpers.

Edd's face twists in horror. "Darling…?"

"How-" Kevin's voice cracks and he feels like he could cry as stupid as it is. "How can I show you? What can I do to make you believe?" he asks, referring to what Edd asked him just that morning.

" _When I say you're beautiful,_ ma citrouille," he had said so sweetly - so, so sweetly. Kevin wants to do that for him.

Understanding dawns on Eddward's face along with an almost violent blush that creeps across his cheeks and down his throat. " _Oh_ …" he says softly but that little word holds more power than anything Kevin has ever heard. "Oh," he sighs and he draws back slightly. His face softens, "You… you're so precious…"

Kevin's face burns. "Ca-can I?"

"Please…"

Shyly, Kevin slips his fingers beneath the edge of Edd's hat and draws it from his head.

Edd is gazing down at him like he's the sun and the moon, all of the stars in the sky, the most beautiful thing he's ever seen. It only makes his chest hurt worse.

Black hair spills across Edd's forehead, soft and shiny like a bird's wing. Kevin, though he's so embarrassed he wants to just hide in a hole, gently cards his hand through it, drawing it back so he can see Edd's scar.

It's horrible, looks like it must have hurt so, so bad, but it's also beautiful and elegant in a way that is brutal.

"Is-is this okay?" Kevin whispers and Edd nods immediately.

"Please, it feels so good to-to just be," he shakes his head as if fighting to find the words, _"touched_ after so long."

On the verge of crying for this beautiful wreck of a boy, Kevin takes his face in his hands and draws Edd into a kiss.

This is not the barely-there brushing of lips that their first kiss was, Kevin holds Edd's face tightly and presses their lips together with force. Edd makes a noise like he's drowning and suddenly he's lowered himself onto Kevin's chest and his fingers are in that red hair, pulling until Kevin whines and tilts his head and - _oh_ , oh, Edd's lips mold against Kevin's so perfectly at this angle it feels they are one.

Kevin has no clue what he's doing but instinct is taking over, telling him to curl his fingers into Edd's hair tightly and keep him trapped close. It practically hurts, feels like his lips are bruising against Edd's and at any second Edd's body is going to just melt into Kevin's or Kevin's into Edd's.

Edd's arm slides down Kevin's side so they can feel bare skin, creating goosebumps and lightly dragging his nails across the rungs of Kevin's ribs. The pale boy's body jerks, green eyes widening, and the kiss is broken as his back arches. A beautiful, breathy gasp escapes his lips and Edd answers with a low purr.

Edd looks down at him with lidded eyes like he wants nothing more than to eat Kevin alive. The boy's chest is heaving against Edd's own, his breathing restricted by Edd's weight and it shouldn't feel good, it should feel painful or uncomfortable or something but it doesn't, no, it feels so fucking good and _right_.

Edd shifts his weight so he's leaning on his right elbow as his other hand continues to trace Kevin's ribs. "You're so beautiful…" he murmurs. "You're so good to me…"

Kevin squirms, torn between pleasure and embarrassment. "You're the beautiful one…" he replies weakly. "You-you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen," he confesses, hiding his face in his hands. "I don't know why you would choose me."

"Oh darling…" he croons and smooths his palm up Kevin's side, across his chest-

Kevin yelps softly, kittenish and embarrassingly sexual, when Edd's fingers brush his nipple. Edd's eyes are sparkling with mischief, like a child who just found his Christmas presents early, and his lips pull into a wolfish grin.

"Fuck, Pumpkin…" he rumbles, all husky and hungry. "That was the most erotic sound I've ever heard…"

Kevin's face turns a brilliant red and he smacks Edd's hands away before toppling him over without much trouble. He scrambles off the bed, almost falling flat on his face, clamping his arms across his chest.

Before he can start berating the other boy, gentle fingers are curling around his wrist. "Kevin- shit, Kevin, I'm sorry- I-I went too far again and-"

"Just- shut up, Edd," he cries shrilly, hunching his back in an attempt to hide. "Don't make fun of me."

"Kevin…" Edd murmurs gently, his fingers caressing the delicate bones in Kevin's wrists. " _Mon coeur_ , I am not making fun of you in the least… I'm serious, darling. That was…" he takes a shaky breath and Kevin's heart skips a beat. "That was extremely… I have no words for how amazing and beautiful that was…"

Kevin shudders and hides his face in his hands. "Oh my god," he squeaks.

" _Ma citrouille_ ," he insists, warm hands smoothing across Kevin's pale back, "I don't want to embarrass you but… know it's true."

Kevin turns to face him hesitantly and studies Edd's eyes. "Do you feel any better?" he asks softly.

Edd's face lights up, eyes crinkling with his smile. "Yes, I do."

Gulping, Kevin slips his hand into Edd's and twines their fingers together. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he says gently, obviously puzzled.

"Will you go without your hat here?"

Edd's eyes widen slightly and he leans back ever so slightly.

"Wait," Kevin says quickly, "hear me out. Here, in my room, just with me. When we're like this."

Edd's fingers slip from Kevin's and he looks up at Edd with fear in his eyes. "Edd?"

The taller boy's arms wind around his shoulders and draw him in, one hand cradling the back of Kevin's head and the other smoothing down Kevin's back, holding him close to his chest. Kevin melts into him, his own arms wrapping around Edd's waist.

Edd tugs his hair gently and Kevin, relaxed and dizzy with warmth, allows his head to be guided back. When his eyes meet Edd's he shivers and closes his eyes, tilting his chin upwards to accept Edd's kiss. This one is much softer, more like their first, tender and easy, the careful brush of lips and breathing in each other's content sighs.

" _Mon précieux_ ," he purrs between kisses, "god, you are so beautiful…"

Kevin's stomach and chest feel full of butterflies. He almost feels dizzy from the praise. "Edd," he gasps just for his lips to be captured once more. He whines softly into the kiss and clutches at Edd's back.

He feels as if Edd is all around him, as if he's keeping him safe. He can't stop himself from sighing and pressing closer.

"Edd," he murmurs even as he's chasing Edd's lips.

"So beautiful," Edd replies, loving and honey-sweet, and runs his hands down Kevin's back. "Can't believe I have you like this," he laughs breathily before meeting Kevin halfway for another lingering kiss. "Can't believe I have beautiful-" he actually nips Kevin's bottom lip and the boy jolts and gasps, "beautiful Kevin Barr in my arms, half-nude."

Kevin shudders and his blush creeps down his chest but he can't bring himself to pull away. He shocks a laugh out of Edd by nipping back; Edd still follows him as he draws back.

"Can't believe Eddward Vincent," Kevin mutters back between a sudden bout of chaste kisses that tickle and leave them both laughing breathlessly, "Eddward Double fucking D Vincent, the Shark, is in my room- hey!" he giggles when Edd suddenly wraps his arms around Kevin's waist tightly and picks him straight up. "What the hell?"

"You're so precious and tiny, Pumpkin," he replies and grins up at Kevin. He twirls them around before setting Kevin gently on the bed. "I could-" he pecks Kevin, smiling when he feels Kevin's breathy giggles against his lips, "kiss you all night."

"Uh-huh…" Kevin hums and presses one last lingering kiss to Edd's lips. "But I believe this whole thing started when you wanted to work on that robot. Surely top student Eddward Vincent isn't about to spend his Friday night doing something normal or fun when he could be working."

"Oh, yeah!" Edd gasps, completely ignoring Kevin's teasing, and pulls away suddenly. "You're making me forget our project!"

Kevin snorts and reluctantly allows Edd to pull away to grab his duffel bag from the floor. He drops it on the bed behind Kevin then climbs on to sit next to him. "I have some ideas and a few diagrams drawn up. Have you ever seen those fighting robots?"

Kevin scoffs. "I am not making a fighting robot."

"Of course not," he huffs back. "I'm just saying I was inspired by them."

"Mhm."

"Believe it or not, I am a pacifist at heart."

Kevin falls back onto the bed and lets out a peal of shocked laughter. "Eddward Vincent, the guy who broke the football captain's nose, is claiming to be a pacifist!"

"I am!" he insists indignantly.

"Yeah, right!"

"Oh, shut up…"

Edd grows tense and quiet. Kevin's guilt rears its ugly head.

"Hey, I'm just joking…" Kevin murmurs and reaches out to run his fingers across Edd's forearm as he digs through the bag. "Y'know… I still haven't thanked you for that. Or for today."

His hands slow but he still picks through the bag almost as if he's trying to appear occupied. "That's unnecessary."

"No it's not," he insists and shifts so he's on his knees beside Edd. His hands clasp Edd's broad shoulder so he doesn't topple over and he leans in precariously to press a kiss to the boy's cheek. "Thank you for helping me."

Edd just stares down at his hands, body perfectly still. Suddenly feeling shy again, Kevin withdraws and lets himself fall back onto his ass with the soft squeak of springs. He can't bring himself to meet those ice-blue eyes.

The taller boy suddenly shifts and Kevin watches with alarm as he plants his hands on either side of Kevin's waist before leaning in, blue eyes so sharp and knowing it feels they can see his every thought, and sealing their lips together once more. They stay like that for a moment, lips brushing, gentle yet firm, then Edd carefully pulls away to press chaste kisses all along Kevin's cheekbone.

"Thank you," he says then kisses Kevin's pale brow. "Thank you for giving me a chance."

Kevin hums and very carefully allows his fingers to trail up Edd's soft cheek, tracing the hollow created by those sharp cheekbones, to finally graze across the scar on his temple. Edd shudders and twists his neck to kiss at Kevin's palm.

"I told you about my ex," he says suddenly, "how he cut me."

Kevin's blood suddenly feels cold at the mention of the harsh streak of marred skin that stretches from Edd's hipbone to his genitals. That morning he had told him it was his ex-boyfriend - his first and only boyfriend until Kevin came along - who had done that to him but didn't give any details other than how he had first grown attracted to them due to his need for attention.

"Yeah, you told me that they did it but not how," Kevin responds quietly. "You don't have to share that with me though. You can if you want to but you don't have to."

"I know," Edd murmurs gently and climbs onto the bed to kneel in front of him. "Can I though?"

"Of course," he says earnestly and cups Edd's cheeks. He keeps his eyes locked with Edd's to make sure he understands. "Of course you can. I just want to make sure you really… you really feel comfortable with me."

"Of course I do. You're like… I know it's only been awhile since we've started this 'relationship' but… I really trust you."

Throat dry and cheeks burning, Kevin nods. "I appreciate that… And… it really does mean a lot that you're willing to tell me this stuff. Like… shit, you're really brave, Double D."

Edd blushes and looks down. "No… I'm just… no…"

"Yeah, dude, you really are. You've been through so much shit yet you still go to school every day and kick ass. Like, holy shit, kids that _aren't_ in your position, who _don't_ have to take care of themselves and _haven't_ been through so much crap, even they don't have the energy or the drive to go out and make it to the top of the class or win championships. You're so unreal, it's not even funny. I don't know how you do it."

Edd is absolutely preening from the praise: cheeks red, smile shyly pleased and eyes downcast. He looks so absolutely precious like this, acting as if he's never been told a good thing in his life, that Kevin just wants to shower him with more kind words.

"Both the swim captain of the top team in the state and valedictorian - shit's just unfair."

That shocks a giggle out of him and he actually hides his face in his hands. "Stop, you're making me blush…"

"Come on, it's not like I'm the first person to tell you this stuff."

"Yeah but you're the one who matters," he murmurs and lowers his hands so Kevin can see how he's biting his lip and looking so shy and pleased Kevin could just kiss him.

"Christ…" Kevin sighs. "Stop saying things like that or I'll have to distract you from your robot again."

"Our robot," he corrects with a teasing smile. "But… if you don't mind, I'd like to tell you… I mean, I don't have to if you don't want to hear it but-" he gulps. "I've never told anyone the whole story, not…" he sighs and runs a hand across his face roughly. "It felt so good to tell you, even better to show you the scars and when you didn't-didn't even call them gross and-" he chokes a little and something in Kevin feels like it's clicking into place.

It's okay for him to be falling so hard he'll never be able to get back up, it's okay for him to want Edd and trust him because Edd's already fallen, too.

Any remaining self doubt seems to melt away like a weight lifted off his shoulders and Kevin can't help but smile. "Hey," he says gently and cover's Edd's hand, the one gripping his own knee painfully tight, with his. "Not alone, right?"

Edd looks so terribly grateful Kevin's insides feel like mush.

"Okay…" he sighs and takes a deep breath as if mentally preparing himself. "When I was younger I lived in a neighborhood out in Lemon Brook. There were these two kids, my neighbors and best friends, and we were extremely close. They were my family, they took the place of my parents.

"Do you know Sarah's brother, Edwin?"

Kevin's brow furrows. "I didn't even know she had one."

"Well, she does. He was one of my friends. The other was Eddy."

"Are you serious? Eddward, Edwin and Eddy?"

Edd snorts and shifts closer so their knees bump. "Couldn't make it up if I tried."

"Jeez, okay."

"Eddy our ringleader of sorts. We got into all kinds of trouble together," he explains and taps the side of his hip where yet another scar resides. "We would go out to the junkyard and get loads of scrap metal and such then make these terrible machines. I got this scar when one blew up."

"Damn…" Kevin murmurs because there's not much else to say. He carefully eases his hand down to grasp Edd's hip, the one scarred on both sides. "I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, _mon coeur_. We were just stupid kids, no harm done."

Kevin hums and gives his hip a squeeze.

Edd sighs in content and his hand curls around the back of Kevin's neck. "Feels good to have you touch me like that."

Kevin blushes. "O-oh?"

"Yeah…"

Gulping, he rests his free hand on the other hip, slightly leaning into Edd's space. "Do you want to talk about the other?"

"Mm. I started to get feelings for Eddy around the time we entered middle school. Seventh grade, it sort of came out that I was gay. Not long after that and we were together. It's hard to explain, it just sort of… happened.

"Anyway, I was really _in_ love, you know? I didn't _love_ him, but I did. I loved Eddy like a brother, in hindsight, not like a boyfriend. I was _in_ love and not with Eddy but the idea of him, I guess, and the attention he gave me. He was really the only person who I ever had.

"Ed was my good friend, too, of course, but he's just not quite _there_ all of the time. The smartest person I've ever met but not emotionally mature in any way, if that makes sense."

"I know what you mean."

"Right, so there was Eddy and only Eddy and… it just happened. My best friend, my boyfriend, basically my whole world at the time and… it wasn't right."

Kevin gently tugs at Edd. "Come on, let's get more comfortable."

Edd can only nod because his throat is closing up, it's written all over his face, and tears are beginning to shine in his eyes. Kevin guides him back and prods him until he's under the covers before sliding in next to him. Edd grabs for him almost instantly, drawing the smaller boy close in order to rest his head on top of Kevin's and lock their hands together. The tears are no longer at the corners of his eyes and his breathing is evening out but Kevin can tell he's embarrassed.

Kevin rests his head against Edd's shoulder and Edd noses his hair. "Sorry," he forces out.

"No, don't even say that," Kevin chides gently and squeezes his hand. "I sobbed on your shoulder his morning."

Edd snorts. "Want to know something horrible?"

"Hm?"

"Even though I was afraid you were upset with me, all I could think was 'this boy is so precious'. You looked so small and perfect…"

Kevin snorts and buries his face in Edd's shirt. "Shut up."

Edd laughs wetly and it's the most beautiful sound Kevin has ever heard.

They're quiet for a few long moments. Their breaths and the rustling of fabric seem louder than natural but it's nothing compared to the sound of Edd's heart. Kevin feels like he's turning into a sap. He can't find it in him to really care.

"He was always pretty possessive and manipulative," Edd murmurs finally, distant and soft. Kevin hums softly, stomach clenching with nerves and pleasure both. He still can't believe Edd is sharing these things with him. "He became more so when we started our relationship. But he didn't actually want me, he isn't even gay I don't think, and he got pissed off when I tried to hold his hand or anything - at least not in public."

"Christ…"

"At the time I was too… just desperate to really understand. I thought, y'know, I was just no good and everyone leaves me for a reason so I should just be happy he's even with me. It didn't occur to me that he might not even like me or was using me."

Kevin kisses his cheek when his voice breaks, hands squeezing Edd's reassuringly. "It's okay. I'm with you now. You're not alone."

"I don't think I can keep going," he confesses, shame obvious in his voice. "I thought I could but… I even want to-"

Kevin hushes him and, with little hesitation, carefully peppers his nearest cheek with kisses. "Baby steps."

"Okay… yeah, okay…"

"Not alone, not ever," Kevin whispers and squeezes his hand. "Right?"

"I'm so glad I found you," Edd says so sincerely that it makes Kevin's chest warm.

"I'm glad I gave you a chance."

"I'm sorry I treated you the way I did," he says stiffly, shame once again tainting his voice and obvious in his eyes. "You know, I thought you couldn't possibly be gay or bisexual or anything else so I… god, I just took my frustration out on you in a lot of ways… I never thought of it as bullying, I just thought I was like… I don't know, nothing more than an annoyance to you because you seemed so flippant with me."

Kevin snorts.

"Yeah, I was really ignorant, wasn't I?"

"How'd you go from flirting like a little boy on the playground to being suave as fuck?"

"Language," he huffs but he sounds embarrassed and shy. "I don't know what you mean…"

"You know exactly what I mean. You were basically acting like a boy pulling a girl's pigtails and now you're… cuddling me and holding me and… romantic shit…"

Edd laughs softly. "I thought… maybe I have a chance so I'll give it my all. Honestly? I'm just doing what feels good."

Kevin scoffs and presses his face into Edd's shoulder. "You really do just want contact, don't you?" he mumbles.

"It's more than that," he insists. "I want you."

"Oh my god," Kevin hisses and pushes himself back, cheeks burning. "That's what I'm talking about!"

Face flushed, the boy glares weakly. "What? It's true…"

"It's like… really romantic and sappy and-" he groans and hides his face in his hands. "I can't take it."

"Then maybe you should just give in and ask me out already," Edd teases.

Kevin's head snaps up and he blinks at Edd. "What?"

Edd's gentle smile falls. "Oh… I-I shouldn't have said anything. I… I just thought you might-" he gulps.

"We… We just sat here and made out," Kevin says softly, eyes downcast and blush creeping down his neck. "I sort of thought that was… answer enough…"

"Oh- you mean- _oh_ …" Edd gasps. "Oh my. Oh my, _oh my_ -"

Kevin laughs nervously and meets Edd's wide blue eyes. "So… uh… will you go out with me?" he squeaks.

Edd grins so wide it must hurt and before Kevin can object Edd throws his arms around him so they fall back. " _Je_ _t'aime_!" he says breathlessly, face pressed into Kevin's chest. "Oh, _mille mercis_ -"

"Edd!" Kevin giggles nervously when he begins pressing kisses across his pale chest. "Oh my god, stop it! What about the robot?"

"Screw the robot," Edd snaps and suddenly crawls up until they're nose to nose. Edd's blue eyes are endless, so beautiful Kevin can't believe he never noticed them before now, and he feels he's falling into them.

Edd kisses him again, soft but sure, and Kevin wraps his arms around Edd's slender neck.

"Edd?" he murmurs breathlessly when the taller boy finally breaks the kiss.

"Mhm?" he hums and begins kissing along Kevin's jaw.

"I'm really glad I stole your hat."

Edd draws back to grin at him before peppering kisses all along Kevin's nose and cheeks until the boy is giggling wildly. Finally, their lips meet again and it's everything Kevin ever dreamed it would be, being with someone finally. Never alone.

They kiss until Kevin feels they're completely intertwined. It's the best feeling he's ever experienced.

* * *

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Special thanks to KM Forever, gypsywitch19, Azully, kisa sohma cookie, purpleninja255, and all of you kind guests for reviewing!


	6. Chapter 6

Hi my darlings! I have decided that this fic should be bumped up to an M rating due to all of the bad language, sexual themes and the mentions of past assault and such.

* _ **Warning:**_ This chapter mentions _past_ sexual assault. It is not graphic or described in great detail but it is still very much there. If you have any questions don't be afraid to send me a message and I'll get back to you asap!

Also there are make outs and boners in this chapter so... But no sex! No sex in any sense of the word! Just and fyi

* * *

Edd stands over him in the shower stall, blue eyes hidden behind a thick veil of hair, and closes his hand around Kevin's throat once more.

He's dreaming. Kevin somehow knows he is yet it's so real and everything feels heavy and tight as if he's deep underwater. _This isn't real_ , he keeps thinking but it's overcome by the fear and guilt which is still bubbling up in his chest. Somehow it feels more real than the past few days he's spent with Edd, Edd who is now his _boyfriend_.

Yeah, it's much easier to believe that he's back in the locker room with Edd preparing to beat him to a pulp.

Despite this, his grip is not hard enough to hurt and yet that's somehow more terrifying than if it was. Screams and apologies are trapped in Kevin's chest as he kicks and claws at Edd. He doesn't even flinch, slowly bowing over the small boy until his lips are brushing Kevin's ear and his hot breath is raising goosebumps all along the pale skin.

" _As if I could love a pathetic little thing like you_ -"

Kevin wakes with a soft cry, sitting straight up and violently kicking away the covers that weigh him down. Everything is too hot and too crowded. His heart is pounding so hard he can feel it in his ears like his eardrums are about to burst. The body by his side, just barely brushing him, feels like it's bearing down on him.

" _As if I could love_ -"

God, _his heart_. It's beating so fast it hurts and he can hardly breathe.

He feels stupid. So stupid. How could Edd love him or feel anything for him? How could he just believe-

The pulse in his ears drowns out Edd's voice - the real, beautiful voice laden with sleep and concern.

A hand comes down on his shoulder and Kevin sucks in a breath so fast he chokes on it, desperately scrambling to escape. Before he can fall from the bed, warm arms wind around his waist and-

Lips are brushing Kevin's ear and his hot breath is raising goosebumps all along the pale skin, just as it had in his dream, but this is Edd. The real Edd.

Kevin's honestly not sure why (screw biology) but he's half-hard in his pajama pants and his skin is prickling, hypersensitive with adrenaline and fear. He hates Edd for touching him right now but his skin is crawling and he can't breathe let alone speak.

"Shh, it's okay," he murmurs gently and draws Kevin back until the boy is practically in his lap, leaning back against his broad chest. His hands smooth up Kevin's stomach, rucking up the shirt the boy put on when his mom finally announced dinner was ready, and press against his chest, locking him in.

They're in Kevin's room, everything dark but for the intense light of the full moon and the harsh, red glow of the alarm clock telling them it's one in the morning.

Kevin feels like throwing up, skin feverish and crawling like there's something locked within him, desperate to escape.

He feels caged in and embarrassed, overpowered, alone.

God, his skin feels like there are fucking ants all over him.

Edd's hand smooths down his chest and up once more, this time accidentally shifting beneath Kevin's shirt. His skin is shockingly cold and it seems to rattle the boy's brain in the right way. It soothes the heat and his racing heart. His breaths suddenly come easier like the cold has brought him back to reality.

"Shh, it's okay. It was just a dream, darling. I've got you. Not alone, never alone."

Shaking, Kevin squirms until he can turn in Edd's grasp to clutch at his shirt and nuzzle into the crook of his neck. He wants to be comforted, for the thing inside him that's so upset to calm, despite the tingling, nervousness which Edd's touch still causes. Wet, choking sobs wrack the boy's frail frame but Edd is there, practically wrapped around him, warm and solid like a rock.

The embrace is no longer a trap but solace.

"No one can hurt you. Won't let anyone hurt you," he insists, rocking them gently. "I'm here."

"No-" Kevin gasps and begins to squirm again.

Suddenly Edd's arms feel like a cage and he's back in the locker room with Edd looming over him but in the harsh light of the alarm clock the scar over his brow looks as if it has been torn wide, fresh and horrific. " _I could never love someone so_ -"

Kevin feels so guilty he doesn't know what to do with himself.

"You don't- you don't actually- no," he whines, chest growing tight with what he recognizes as the beginnings of a panic attack. He tries to pull away but strong hands hold him still by his shaking shoulders. Edd shifts them back so he can draw up his knees, effectively wrapping Kevin up, and it takes them out of the red light.

"Kevin…" Edd's voice is rich in the darkness, nothing like the one in Kevin's dream, and the moonlight makes his skin look surprisingly pale and his eyes shine like they're stars plucked straight from the sky. Kevin finds himself simply staring, breaths slowing and the seizing in his chest easing away as if it was never there to begin with. "You're not alone," he insists warmly, he looks and sounds like an angel or something equally cheesy. Kevin sort of hates himself for thinking it. "I've got you."

He makes a wet, lost noise and allows himself to fall forward into the beautiful boy's chest. Edd wraps him up in a loving hug and carefully leans back with him to lie down. Kevin is out in seconds but Edd stays up to run his hands through the boy's red hair and rub circles against the tight spots on his back.

When they wake the next morning, a messy bundle of arms and legs and drool, Kevin doesn't remember anything.

He drifts awake gently and almost falls right back asleep he's so warm and comfortable. Edd makes him feel warm and safe in his arms. Kevin can feel his heartbeat where his forehead is pressed to his chest, his head tucked perfectly under Edd's chin. He feels small and protected, it's a strange but good feeling, like this is where he's supposed to be.

He's always fantasized waking up in another person's arms or with them in his. It seems like such a lovely, intimate thing and now he knows it's even better than the fantasy. His nose brushes Edd's Adam's apple and he takes in the boy's scent, heady and strong now that he no longer smells like chlorine and baby shampoo (why does he smell like baby shampoo anyway?).

Kevin wonders what the spot would _taste_ like if he were to sneak just a _little_ -

Yet as he begins to really wake up and reality sinks in, he's embarrassed to find his body so thoroughly entwined with Edd's and tries to get away to no avail. His leg is firmly hitched over Edd's hip until their pelvises are almost touching (but not, thank god, because Kevin is harder than he's been in his entire pathetic life) and Edd's lithe fingers are curled around the flesh of his thigh, keeping it there and burning even through the rough fabric of Kevin's pajamas. What's worse, his squirming only serves to wake the other boy up.

A lazy smile stretches across his face and he nuzzles into Kevin's hair. "Good morning, beautiful. Sleep better?"

Kevin mumbles and nods, trying desperately to slide out of their tight embrace. All he can think about is how his entire life will be over if Edd feels his dick because Jesus Christ he can't handle that right now.

"Kevin," Edd rumbles and a hand finds its way into Kevin's hair, dragging him in until their foreheads bump then their noses (Edd fucking nuzzles Kevin's nose, holy shit). "Do you want to tell me what you dreamed about?"

He frowns and attempts to wriggle away. "I can't remember," he confesses and it's true. "I mean, vaguely. Did I wake you up or something? I'm really sorry."

"Don't be," he croons sweetly and his thumb traces the boy's jaw. "I just wish I could help you."

"You are."

Edd's blue eyes meet Kevin's green, blurry due to proximity, and before he knows what he's doing Kevin's lips meet Edd's in a soft kiss. Kevin's an idiot because to no one's shock his dick is still at attention and Edd, taking the kiss as the go ahead, forcefully drags Kevin closer until his back is bowed into the slight curve of Edd's chest and they are flush together from chest to waist.

Kevin's dick, the traitor, responds to the sudden change and Edd's lips, parted and hot and so fucking inviting, are suddenly gone from Kevin's pale skin.

" _Oh_ ," he says like Kevin has just grown a second head.

Mouth so dry it hurts, Kevin awkwardly laughs but it sounds like more of a weak sobbing and tries to extract himself from the mess that is their embrace. "Yeah… uh… please-"

"I won't-" Edd cuts in but his voice breaks. His skin is stained a brilliant red; neither can look the other in the eyes. "I won't do anything to you. I promise. Don't feel embarrassed, either… it's only natural. I mean… me too," he chokes out, half whisper, half squeak.

Kevin is surprisingly relieved by this statement though embarrassment is still knotting up his stomach. "Oh…"

"Yeah…"

There's a moment of tense silence. Kevin stares stubbornly at Edd's chin.

Edd very carefully lowers his hand to Kevin's hip and shifts the boy's waist back while keeping their chests close, nearly flush. "May I simply hold you?"

"Yes," Kevin breathes out with more relief than he should feel.

Edd hugs his shoulders and nuzzles against Kevin's jaw. The boy is shocked to feel the slight prickles of a beard when Edd's jaw brushes his own but it's surprisingly pleasant despite the sandpapery feel of it.

"Want to work on the robot?" Edd asks and it feels like he's trying to give Kevin an out.

He's shocked by how much affection and relief flood his chest.

"Fuck yes."

"Marie told me there's going to be a small party out at the dump later. We could go grab some parts and hang out with her. I'm sure Nazz will be there."

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

"There needs to be more power-"

"Another battery and the weight will be too much."

"Then a solar panel."

Edd scoffs. "Hardly enough to make a difference."

"You're just being a shit because you want it to be able to fight."

"I told you: I'm not interested in fighting robots."

"Yet you want to make one."

"It's not a fighting robot! It's simply inspired by the structure-"

"Your muse was a fighting robot."

Edd takes a huge breath through his nose and turns to glare at Kevin.

They're sitting with notes and diagrams and textbooks in a complete disarray before them on Kevin's bed and Kevin has never felt more at home in his own space which is really strange and hard to explain. It should be awkward with Edd, his once fake boyfriend and now (sudden) real boyfriend, in his room and his parents gone. His father is working despite it being a Saturday but he said there was an engine that needed to be finished by Monday and his mother is visiting with some of their neighbors who have banded together to form a terrible book club of sorts (Kevin is pretty sure they read bad, pornographic romance novels). That means that it's just Kevin and Edd and their work until later, when they're going out to the junkyard.

And then there's how Kevin woke up with - well, you know.

"I'm a pacifist," Edd insists and it sounds like he's trying to convince himself, not only Kevin.

"You're a pacifist," Kevin snorts.

"I am!"

"Tell that to James Reagan's nose."

Edd's shocked into a laugh, blue eyes wide and a smile curling across his face like it's not sure how it got there or if it even wants to be there and Kevin lets out a crow of laughter at the victory before Edd's eyes darken and his awkward grin turns into a predatory smirk. Kevin takes a breath, stomach dropping, and in the blink of an eye Edd has him pinned to the bed.

For a moment, he's honestly afraid. Edd pinning him to anything is generally not a good sign. It almost always ends in groping or even a punch (though Edd has never been the one to punch him, it's always been Plank once Edd has his back turned and he's strutting away). He stares up at Edd, eyes probably comically wide, and waits for the final blow to be struck.

Instead those blue eyes shine with mischief and Edd grins at him goofily. Kevin is about to ask what the hell he's doing when the tickling begins.

Edd doesn't stop until Kevin is laughing so hard he's crying and he's having trouble breathing.

Kevin shouldn't feel as warm as he does.

* * *

Edd drives them to the nearby dump, fingers twitching on the steering wheel compulsively.

"You're making me nervous…" Kevin mutters and it's true.

Edd is almost _jumpy_ , he has been ever since they finally left Kevin's house after drawing up an epic design for a robot and deciding on some materials to look for. His eyes keep darting around and he apparently has a thing about tapping his fingers. Kevin wants to grab his hands up and squeeze them until he's forced to stop.

There's probably going to be a bunch of cool, rich kids at this party, all of them gorgeous and popular, not to mention booze and sex (Kevin is so nervous he feels like he could puke, why did he agree to this?). And then there's Edd who looks about ready to come out of his own skin.

It's making him seriously uncomfortable to say the least.

Edd probably is second guessing this whole… thing. But, they're dating now. He's not sure if that makes it better or worse, the embarrassment of showing up with a guy like Kevin with his awkward, gangly limbs and too-pale skin. He feels so sick to his stomach he might actually puke just like he did in the locker room.

"I'm sorry," Edd sighs sincerely. "I've simply not been back to the dump in a long time," he explains quietly. "Always remember the incident when I do."

"' _The incident_ '?"

"When I was stabbed."

Kevin's stomach bottoms out and he jerks his head in Edd's direction. He's been so caught up in his own self-loathing and pity to even consider this. "What? That's where it happened?"

Edd makes a stiff noise. "Yes."

" _We would go out to the junkyard and get loads of scrap metal and such then make these terrible machines_ ," he had explained last night when he finally told Kevin about the scar on his hip but he hadn't told him this. He hadn't been able to, he was too upset by the memories.

"Holy- Edd!" he cries and grabs at the door mindlessly, as if making to get out, before coming back to himself and practically punching the button to release his seatbelt.

Alarmed, Edd immediately pulls over. "What the - _hell_?" he chokes out. "Don't just do that," he nearly barks, fingers now so tight around the steering wheel it looks like it hurts. "Safety first."

Kevin scoffs at the idiot (precious, stupid, beautiful idiot) and clambers over the console to nearly drop into Edd's lap, legs bracketing his. The boy stares up at him and he blushes from the attention (then due to the fact he hits his head on the roof and winces).

"What are you doing?" Edd murmurs, soft and almost wondrous.

"Let's stay home and eat junk food and watch Myth Busters or something equally nerdy. Come on."

Edd laughs softly, still looking at Kevin as if he's a miracle. It's super embarrassing. "I want to go. We need to get some supplies, why not now? And Marie and Nazz will be there. And you…"

Kevin's brow furrows.

"You'll be there," Edd insists, "so it's okay. Not alone."

That's almost like a punch to the stomach but in a good way (Christ, what is wrong with him? _A punch to the stomach but in a good way_? Kevin feels delirious for a moment, like laughing or puking or both, before the warmth in his chest chokes down any nonsensical joy because his brain is spewing one big mess of _you have a boyfriend now boyfriendboyfriendboyfriend_.)

"Edd…" Kevin murmurs and cups his face. "Are you sure?"

"Well…" he chuckles, lips curling into a sweet smile, "if it means you treating me like this, _mon nounours_ …"

"Edd," he whines softly and presses his fingers to Edd's jaw firmly. "I have a bad feeling."

"You just didn't sleep well, _mon coeur_ ," he says gently and his lithe fingers flutter around Kevin's own jaw, petting it almost. "It's okay. I promise."

Kevin's stomach twists. This boy is so gorgeous and sweet-

"What if-" he croaks before he can stop himself, "What if your friends don't like me?"

Edd's smile melts away and his eyes widen. "Pumpkin-"

"Like- I'm serious!"

Something strange passes over the boy's face, his eyes going dark, and it's so intimidating Kevin thinks he'd like to melt into the floor.

"You're worried about my friends liking you?" he asks, perfectly level so Kevin can't tell if that's a good or bad thing.

Gulping around his heart which has (oh so helpfully) lodged itself in his throat, Kevin nods. "Well- yeah… you're… We're together," he says softly because for some reason he can't bring himself to say "dating".

Edd's face only darkens further and Kevin's stomach flips. Edd draws him closer, one hand sneaking into his hair and the other slipping down to press against the small of his back. This kiss is almost fierce. Edd's lips are demanding and hungry, his hands firm and - Kevin's back arches into him and a soft whine escapes when Edd's tongue flicks against his bottom lip.

Kevin's thoughts seem to telescope: Edd's heat, his hands, the feel of his hips beneath his own- (don't think about the wet dreams or his dick or _your_ dick oh my god _stop_.) Edd's grip in his hair tightens just enough for Kevin to gasp.

" _Fuck_ ," he whimpers as he's manhandled ever closer. He nearly cries when Edd's nose trails across his jaw and his lips close around Kevin's earlobe. "Edd-"

Edd hums and nips at Kevin's jaw next. His hands keep Kevin's chest pressed firmly to his own and it feels too good - literally feels too good because if Kevin doesn't get away something embarrassing is sure to happen. Next he kisses Kevin's chin and that shouldn't make him shiver but it does.

It's wet and hot and sudden. It's nothing like the sweet kisses from last night, not at all. It doesn't even feel like the same Eddward Vincent, like Kevin has found himself in some sort of Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation. There's the Edd that showers him in praise, soft touches and speaks to him in French and then there's the Edd that smiles like a wolf and pins him to lockers.

Unfortunately (or fortunately? because fuck - oh, _fuck_ \- Edd's thumb rucks up the bottom of Kevin's shirt and presses to his skin like a brand and Kevin feels like his brain is having a nuclear meltdown) he's currently in Hyde's arms, not Jekyll's.

"Kiss me," he almost growls.

Kevin's lips part as if on command and Edd's tongue swipes across his bottom lip in thanks before slipping into the boy's mouth lightly, as if testing the waters. Kevin simultaneously feels boneless and completely frozen, clinging to Edd's shoulders until he distantly realizes it must hurt but it's as if his brain has lost contact with his extremities. He doesn't even try to reciprocate because he has no clue what to do and his body is just _not working_.

Edd doesn't kiss him the way he expects after this sudden and demanding onslaught: it's not like he's being viciously dominated but Edd manages to stake his claim nonetheless, tongue thoroughly exploring everything it can reach. It's slow and firm, just like Edd's hands on his skin, petting and holding him close.

Kevin feels helpless and lightheaded in a way that should be upsetting or scary but instead makes him more turned on than he's ever been in his life.

Once Edd seems satisfied that he knows every single inch of Kevin's mouth and lips (and Kevin's head is seriously getting lightheaded as if the sharp breaths he's taking through his nose just aren't enough), he slowly pulls away, licking the boy's lips as he does, reluctant to go.

Kevin is honestly dizzy and a little thankful because he needs to process this but Edd doesn't give him a chance to catch his breath or allow his brain to return to normal levels of functioning because his lips drag across Kevin's jaw then back to his mouth where he fucking _licks_ the corner of his lips.

The redhead lets out a very, very embarrassing noise and as if that's not enough his hips respond on their own accord, thrusting sharply against Edd's abdomen. He promptly freezes up, absolutely horrified.

Edd makes a noise as if he's just been punched and looks down so Kevin can't see his face which really isn't okay (also he could help a dude out here and at least pretend he didn't just feel how pitifully hard Kevin is after one little makeout session).

Wide eyed, Kevin draws back as far as he's allowed and Edd raises his face so he can see that look in those blue eyes that he recognizes from the times he would grope him and leer. _Predatory_ \- his eyes are lidded and hungry, like a proper shark. Kevin should be afraid but he's not, instead the pit of his stomach is hot and tight.

"Kevin," Edd rumbles, tilting his head and leaning in to kiss at Kevin's bottom lip, practically mouthing at the skin, "kiss me and stop worrying about such idiotic things."

He gulps, licking his lips mindlessly then jumping when his tongue touches Edd's lip.

" _Mon coeur_ …" he persists, softer this time, and very gently closes his teeth on Kevin's bottom lip, a small nip.

Kevin shudders and makes another pathetic little noise and carefully presses his hands to Edd's broad chest, tracing the edge of his leather jacket. "This is- it's-"

Edd hums softly and continues to run his fingers through Kevin's hair in the most distracting way possible.

"I'm so sorry," Kevin finally chokes out and hangs his head in shame, face burning.

Edd makes a high, worried noise and his hands cup Kevin's face, forcing him to meet those ice eyes. "What for?" he asks softly.

"For-" he winces at his own thoughts and shakes his head. "My… that," he whispers and jerks his chin downwards.

Edd stares at him for a moment and Kevin twists his head away, shame like bile in his throat. Edd's hands slowly ease away.

Kevin expects to be shoved from his lap or - actually, he really needs to get out of Edd's-

"Uh," he whimpers (jeez, can his body work with him here? He at least doesn't want to sound like a slut right now but _no_ ) out followed by another high, strangled noise as Edd's hands, so hot and strong, lock on his hips and- " _Oh my god_ ," he chokes because Edd practically drags their hips together and that's Edd's dick - his hard dick - against Kevin's ass holy _fuck_.

"What?" Edd asks calmly. "I'm afraid I don't understand why this is such a big deal…"

"Wha-wha- you! Me! Oh my fuck!"

"Can you at least try not to curse?" he sighs but there's a small quirk to his lips.

"This is serious! We- oh my god, you're- me- How can you be so calm about this?"

"Kevin," he says firmly, hands giving Kevin's hips a squeeze which is meant to be reassuring but is really more of a terrible reminder. "Take a deep breath."

Kevin does.

"Keep doing that, just focus on breathing and clearing your head. This isn't something to be… upset about," he finishes quietly. "I'm- I'm very sorry for pushing you. Is that it?"

"What? No- no, you didn't. I… I liked it I just… I'm embarrassed," he murmurs and rubs at his neck awkwardly.

"Why though? It's natural. It's good. It means we're compatible - that you liked it and I did too…" he murmurs softly and raises a hand to brush his knuckles across Kevin's cheek. "But- it- is it because I pushed too much? I just- we- I'm so sorry," he says helplessly. "I got carried away again."

"No," Kevin says softly. "It's okay… I," he gulps, "I did like it…"

"Then… was it just too fast?"

"I… maybe a little. But it's okay…" he murmurs and is surprised to say he means it. "I guess I'm just a little shocked at…" he trails off and dares to meet Edd's eyes.

Oh god, they're so warm and concerned.

Kevin finds himself kissing Edd before he knows what he's doing.

Edd smiles against his lips and returns the kiss. It's soft and slow, a chaste little kiss that's practically the opposite of the ones they shared just a moment ago.

"I guess I did let myself get carried away," he concludes but sounds less guilty about it. "It's just… _finally_. I've been wanting to date you forever and now… Are you sure you're okay?" he asks and sweeps a thumb across Kevin's burning cheek.

"Let's just go… slower," he says finally.

Edd nods readily and presses another chaste kiss to Kevin's cheek. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

They sit like that for a few moments, pulses slowing and breaths evening. It's surprisingly pleasant despite Kevin's lingering embarrassment.

"I want to show you off," Edd says suddenly, hands once again brushing Kevin's shirt upwards in order to touch the boy's pale skin just above the waist of his jeans as he speaks. "To my friends. You already know all of the people I really care about. Except for my parents- wait, did you ever get to meet my parents?"

"No, never," he says but his head is still on " _I want to show you off_ ". "They're all so… popular and rich and stuff…" he mumbles.

Edd draws back further. "Are you intimidated by money?"

"Uh, _yeah_. Who isn't intimidated by money?"

Edd seems highly displeased by this.

"I mean," Kevin continues, "I'm just not… like them?"

"No one cares. If they do they can take it up with me," he adds with a bite and Kevin's stomach feels warm. "I want to take my boyfriend on a date."

Kevin's face is aflame. "Wait - what? Me- you- _date_?"

Edd snorts. "Yes, that's what boyfriends do. Go out on dates."

Kevin's chest feels warm and he's painfully aware of the goofy smile threatening to spread across his face so he tries to hide it behind his hand, ducking his head. Edd titters softly and cups Kevin's face again, nuzzling against his cheek.

"So precious, _mon amour_ …"

"Shut up…" Kevin mutters but he's still grinning like a fool.

"So can I take you on this highly romantic date in the dump?"

Kevin laughs and Edd's face just lights up. "A date," Kevin repeats giddily.

"A date," Edd laughs and kisses Kevin's nose, peppers kisses all along his cheeks. "With your boyfriend."

"You're my boyfriend…"

"In case you forgot, yes, I am."

"I'm your boyfriend."

Edd laughs softly and draws Kevin into a hug. "My boyfriend who is going to hang out with me and my friends."

Kevin wraps his arms around Edd's neck properly and holds on tightly. He can't believe this is happening to him, plain Kevin. He's suddenly so happy it hurts.

* * *

The dump stinks. Like, _really_ stinks. (It's sort of a relief though because it's a good boner-killer.)

"So romantic," Kevin repeats for what has to be the millionth time.

Edd smirks. "Yep."

"I am… swooning," he decides.

"Uh-huh."

"Totally swooning. Wait, wait, wait," he says as he jumps over an ancient oil can. "You're… super compulsive about keeping shit clean and stuff."

"It's okay to call me OCD. Because, you know, I _am_."

"I don't know. I don't want to be ableist or something."

Edd looks mildly impressed yet snarkily replies, "Considerate of you."

"Wait, did I just say something ableist by trying not to say something ableist?"

Edd actually laughs. "Shut up. You're fine."

Edd's arm locks with Kevin's and he draws him close so he can press a kiss to his temple. "Super romantic."

"I know."

"We should make out," Kevin jokes.

Edd makes a face of pure disgust and Kevin can't help but laugh.

"We can still go to the Valentine's dance together?" Edd asks casually and Kevin's face flushes.

"You… you actually want to?" he asks in surprise. "I thought you were just saying that so you wouldn't have to go with Marie."

"Of course I want to. Boyfriend," he adds with a meaningful look.

Kevin giggles like a child and presses his face against Edd's shoulder. "Okay - _boyfriend_. But I don't really have anything to wear to it, you know?"

"I'll take you shopping tomorrow then. Some of my old clothes might fit you, actually."

"Oh my god, no. That's so embarrassing."

"What is?"

"All of it! Like… shopping with my… _boyfriend_."

Edd scoffs and draws away in order to snatch up a small sheet of metal. Turning it over in his hands thoughtfully, he hums in approval. "I hate to be the one to break it to you but shopping is perhaps one of the least embarrassing things couples do."

"I mean clothes shopping. That's like… weird."

"I'm pretty sure you're overthinking it."

"I'm pretty sure I'm not. But the other is more embarrassing. Boyfriends shouldn't wear their boyfirend's handmedowns. That's like… super weird."

"Once again, you're overthinking it. As I said before, you should wear my clothes."

"Right because of sex smells."

"Oh my god, that's _not_ what I said. Were you even listening?"

Edd chucks swoops down to grab an old bolt and chucks it at Kevin who yelps and skitters away, laughing loudly. "You did!" he giggles. "You said smell determines how good the sex will be!"

"The scent of your partner is a strong determinant of sexual compatibility," he huffs.

"That doesn't even make sense."

"Most couples in therapy mention disliking their partner's scent - it's one of the most common complaints. On the other hand, partners who are happy typically find their partner's scent highly appealing. Which leads me to the physiology-"

"Edd, shut up," he laughs and snatches up a rusty toaster to throw at him (he makes sure it's nowhere near hitting him).

"The physiology!" he insists loudly as he hops up a heap of junk to snatch another sheet of metal. "The human body knows what it wants."

" _Edd_ , holy shit-"

"You smell quite nice to me so I assume my scent appeals to you, as well."

"Talk dirty to me."

"Jesus, don't be obscene!"

"You're the one over here talking about - _this_!"

Edd throws the sheet down and it lands a few feet away from Kevin's feet. "Ew," he says. "We're not using that. I feel like I'll get tetanus if I get within five feet of that thing."

"I'll use it for something else, don't worry about it," Edd laughs.

"No," Kevin insists, "I forbid you from touching that rusty-ass-"

" _Kevin_ -"

"Okay! But I haven't forgotten how you cursed yesterday! And earlier!"

Edd laughs and shakes his head as he slips back down the pile. He's unsurprisingly lithe and graceful even when scaling a damn heap of trash. Kevin is torn between resentment and amusement (and attraction).

They poke around a little more until they have an array of hunks of metal and Kevin is riding around on a little girl's bike with a Barbie horn that he delights in honking at the taller boy as he rides in a weaving path behind him. It's absurdly fun - for Kevin, that is; Edd, on the other hand, looks like he's torn between killing and kissing the boy.

Coming across an old car with no doors, Edd bodily picks Kevin up and off the bike (it's not hot. Totally not. Why would being picked up by those strong arms and beautiful, elegant yet powerful hands be hot?) and shoves him in the backseat. The leather is this ancient, puke green and it feels even icier than the February air that sears Kevin's throat. When Edd crawls in over him, Kevin eagerly grabs at his neck and shoulders to pull him down.

"Fuckin' cold," he grumbles in explanation before nosing into the spot just above Edd's collar where his pulse is beating fast and his soft skin is blessedly warm. "This was your plan, wasn't it?" he continues even as Edd laughs and lays down on top of him, tucking his head against the small boy's shoulder. "You wanted to get me out in the freezing cold so I'd have no choice but to cuddle.

"You caught me," he confesses teasingly.

They just lay there like that for a while, sneaking their hands into jackets and under shirts to stay warm. Then they kiss again and Kevin honestly isn't sure how it started, who leaned in or what inspired it, but it's good.

It's nice and slow. It's lazy. It's perfect.

It's everything Kevin ever wanted in a relationship and more. Not just the kissing, of course, but how Edd's hands press to his hips to pet gently, speaking to how much he cares, and the sweet words that spill from his lips every time they part.

"So beautiful," he says against Kevin's lips, says it like he means it, like Kevin's beauty is overwhelming and absolute. It feels good; Kevin can almost believe it. " _Tout a moi_ ," he keeps saying and Kevin finds himself repeating it though he only has a distant idea of what it means. It always drags a noise out of Edd's chest like he can't decide if he wants to laugh or cry and he kisses Kevin harder.

"My mother is coming home," Edd says suddenly during a small reprieve. They're both panting softly and the air is warming from the sunshine; it's now almost one in the afternoon. "Wednesday."

"Can I meet her?" Kevin asks before he really knows what he's saying then promptly closes his mouth with a clink of teeth.

Edd looks down at him like he hung the moon. "I would like that very much," he says. "If you'd like to."

"I would," he insists hoarsely and then they're kissing again.

* * *

Just when Kevin thinks he can actually have something - can actually be happy and content and satisfied - shit hits the fan.

Edd is packing the metal around as they go deeper into the dump, now entering an area which is literally all tires, and his fingers begin tapping. Kevin frowns at him but his smile is so sincere his worry fades.

"We should go back to the car soon," Kevin decides, in part because he wants to get Edd away from whatever is making him nervous. "That has to be heavy."

"I'm fine," Edd replies easily and smiles wider. "But the party will start soon so it won't hurt."

Just as Kevin opens his mouth to respond there's a peal of laughter that seems to ring through the quiet of the dump.

Edd's face falls. His eyes suddenly seem cold and empty, his face closed off.

Kevin gets that feeling in his stomach again like something very, very bad is about to happen. He reaches out to Edd but he takes a step back. It's like a knife through his heart.

"Go back to the car," he orders stiffly.

Kevin's heart seizes up painfully. "What?"

Edd kneels and sets all of the metal down before standing once more. He tears his keys from his pocket and shoves them into Kevin's hands. He won't meet the boy's eyes/ "I said go. Wait for me there. Go."

Kevin, numb and confused, turns around and goes.

He glances back at Edd then stops dead in his tracks at the absolutely horrified look he spots on the boy's face before it is schooled back into a mask of calm. He shoos Kevin on like he didn't just look like he was about to cry.

The nauseous feeling in his stomach is suddenly gone, replaced by a steely determination. He turns mechanically and goes back the way they came, making a sharp turn around one of the walls of tires then sneaks behind them rather than fleeing. With hands shaking from a sudden rush of adrenaline, Kevin reaches into his pocket to pull out his phone; it takes him three tries to put it on vibrate his fingers are so unsteady. Next, he maneuvers himself into a position from which he can see Edd but is also sure to see anyone else who comes into the clearing from the direction the laughter came from.

It doesn't even occur to him that he should maybe feel bad for eavesdropping because Edd's hands are shaking, if only subtly, and he just can't leave him like this. He wishes he had stood his ground and held his hand.

Before he can change his mind and go out there, he hears a sharp inhale of breath more like choking and Edd jerks his head in the direction of the sound.

"Double D!" the other boy cries brightly. He's fucking huge. Even taller than Edd and as if that's not enough more muscular. He has this goofy smile on his face and practically bounds up to Edd and-

Kevin has to choke back a yell because he's convinced he's going to tackle him or something crazy but no - he sweeps Edd off his feet and into a backbreaking hug. For a second he's just confused but then Edd is laughing breathlessly and his eyes are brighter than Kevin has ever seen, in fact they're so honest and open it's like a punch to the chest. Then he's hugging this other boy back with just as much enthusiasm.

He really might throw up now.

"I missed you," Edd says suddenly and presses his face into the other boy's shoulder even as he's set back on his feet. The act is so intimate and sincere it knocks the breath right out of the redhead watching.

Kevin is suddenly sure that this is Edd's secret lover or something because what the fuck else could possibly be happening? Sure the boy looks messy and sort of awkward but he's handsome in a weird way with strong cheekbones and expressive eyes. Anyone would make more sense than Kevin, afterall.

His heart is actually, physically hurting and he wants to smack himself for ever believing this fucking ruse-

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" the original voice grates, the one with such an obnoxious laugh. Kevin watches in confusion as Edd's shoulders stiffen and his eyes snap open. He tries to draw away but the first boy won't let him, instead squeezing tighter.

Another boy enters the clearing from the same way the first did. He looks like trouble with a cigarette between his lips and a knife very clearly pinned to his belt.

Kevin's stomach flips before he turns because bile is rising in his throat and he's almost sure he's going to puke this time.

It's Eddy. Edd's ex-best friend and ex-boyfriend who cut his hip.

Kevin feels like a fucking coward. Why didn't he stay? Why didn't Edd come with him? This is so fucked up.

"Okay, Lumpy," Eddy grouses as he takes his place by the tall boy's side, "that's enough mushy bullshit for one day."

Edd's eyes are carefully trained on him in a way which makes him look less like a predator and more like prey.

"Lumpy" must actually be Ed, at least that's what Kevin assumes. He finally releases Edd but not without one last tight squeeze. "I love you, Double D," he says with such honest conviction that it sort of hurts.

Kevin wonders how long it's been since the childhood friends, these two boys who are _family_ , have seen each other.

He feels so fucked up for feeling jealous or afraid or doubtful. Oh god, how could he doubt Edd after the way the boy kissed him? Kissed him like he's the only thing in the world that could ever matter, like every beat of his heart hinged on Kevin's touch.

"Shut up," Eddy huffs with a roll of his eyes. "Hey Sockhead, long time no see."

"Eddy," Edd says coldly and the other boy snickers.

"So, hear you got yourself a nice little twink," he leers and Edd scowls. Kevin's stomach roils. "That true?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Don't lie to me," he snaps. "Sarah told us all about it. She was bawling like a little baby because she finally figured out why you wouldn't fuck her last summer."

Edd groans and Kevin winces. Sarah is not the type of person anyone would want pursuing them or, even worse, angry with them and feeling scorned. That was why Johnny had wanted to talk to him the other day about her. Kevin feels a little guilty for that as well even though it's not really his fault in any way.

"Told her that you like redheads well enough, she's just not _man_ enough for you…" Eddy sighs mockingly and picks at his nails. Kevin's blood feels like it's boiling. "So, what's his name? Kevin or something?"

"I think you've been led to believe a lie," Edd snarks back. "I'm not actually dating him - it's just a little game."

Kevin knows this isn't true but hearing it hurts like a bitch. _Just a little game_ \- yeah, maybe it was in the beginning but now he's in deep, they both are. He's still so insecure he's not sure he can handle hearing where this conversation goes, even if Double D is only lying to get Eddy off his ass.

"He tried to take something of mine a few days back," Edd explains, "so this is my revenge."

He says it so casually, lies so smoothly that Kevin finds himself wondering if it's even a lie at all. It doesn't make sense for Edd to have been harboring feelings ( _and for years_ ) for the scrawny dork he picks on but it _does_ make sense for him to want to hurt Kevin for what he did in that locker room.

Yet that doesn't make sense, not really, not if you consider everything that Edd has done for Kevin from saving him from other bullies to holding him through his nightmares, but Kevin doesn't have a very high opinion of himself and, to be honest, a few days of good treatment doesn't erase the hell that Edd has put him through over the past few years.

It's… it makes more sense… Kevin's been letting himself fall for a lie.

Eddy scoffs. "What? You're going to date him to death?"

"Seems you'd know a few things about that yourself, Eddy," Edd grits out.

Kevin almost barks out a laugh because _damn_. Then his amusement fades in the face of his fear.

Eddy's expression immediately changes from an amused and condescending smirk to brutal _contempt_. Kevin has never seen anyone's face twist with rage the way his does and it's honestly scary.

He can't believe that Edd is standing up to him like this even with the knife on his belt so obvious. It's painful for Kevin to so much as look at so he can't imagine how it makes Edd feel. The redhead is fucking terrified and he's not the one who was once stabbed by Eddy. Now only a foot away from the boy who hurt him so badly, Edd is standing his ground and even if it's all a front and he's falling apart on the inside he's ten times braver than anyone else Kevin knows for it.

"Fuck you," Eddy grits out finally. Ed squirms uncomfortably and looks back and forth between them like a sad puppy. "So you're not dating the little fuck?"

"No, I'm not," Edd snaps back, exasperated. "Do you honestly think I'd date a boy like that?"

"Uh, yeah," Eddy snorts, "I do. You like dorks like him, the kind that think they're smarter than anybody else and all that bullshit."

"You haven't seen him," he replies airily and Kevin flinches back.

"Actually, Sarah even said he's cute," Ed pipes up.

Edd closes his eyes as if their stupidity is too much to bear.

Kevin feels like shit even though a little voice in the back of his head keeps reminding him that Edd probably just wants them to leave Kevin alone, that this is probably for him, to keep him safe. It should make him feel good that Edd is working so hard to protect him.

"Well, I'm not Sarah and, cute or not, he's still obnoxious."

"Isn't this the same asshole you won the science fair with?"

"Yeah. Pestered me the whole time about the distributor of all things."

Wow. That's… okay, yeah, that really makes Kevin feel like shit. He was just worried about the damn thing malfunctioning because it was made out of complete trash and-

"He's not even my type."

Fuck, of course not. Of course pale and gross dorks aren't his type.

(Kevin isn't crying. He's really not, his eyes are just burning a little because he's scared and okay, okay, it hurts to hear the truth. He knows he's not attractive but Edd was doing a damn good job of tricking him into feeling beautiful and… he's just lonely and sad.)

"Okay, okay, nobody wants to hear about what type of dude you want to stick your dick in, Double D. Or maybe you're such a little bitch you'd rather be on the receiving end? Take it from a little twink?" he snickers.

"I'm not sure why you, you who _dated_ _me_ and tried to 'stick your dick' in _me_ , feel you have the right to be talking about any of this."

If Kevin had blinked he would have missed it: Eddy lunges forward and tries to grab Edd by the throat and Edd raises up a fist preparing to deck him while Ed yelps and throws his arms out to shove them apart with surprising strength.

"Eddy! Double D!" he cries. "Stop! Please stop!"

"Fuck you! _Fuck you_ , you goddamn _faggot_! You wanted it!"

"I defended myself, you sick _fuck_!"

"Fuck you! You wanted it! I was the one who had to defend myself!" Eddy roars and his hand moves to his belt - to the _knife_ -

Edd's fist meets his nose and there's a sickening _crack_. Kevin jerks his head away but not before he sees the splattering of blood.

Eddy howls like a fucking animal.

Kevin finds himself running away, sick to his stomach and suddenly very, very afraid. The same hands that just broke that stupid fuck's nose are the ones that were all over his hips and cradling his face. There's something really sickening about that, especially after hearing Edd talk about him like that.

Kevin feels like an absolute fool. As far as he sees it there are two possibilities: Edd really is dating him just to get revenge and Kevin is a fucking dumbass for ever falling for his sweet words and warm eyes or he's honestly in love (okay, love is a strong word but Edd did use it) with Kevin and Kevin is just being a paranoid asshole.

Both are bad, but the first case is obviously the worst as it's honestly his _worst_ fear: that this is all one huge lie. Edd has already proven to be an adept liar and, kind words and kisses aside, he can be a major dick. These past few days don't change the fact that he has treated Kevin like shit. It's really not that big of a stretch to think that this is just another way to make him suffer. Kevin did cross a major line by taking Edd's hat even if he didn't know what he was doing. He's not sure he could really blame Edd for trying to get some form of retribution.

The second case is the one Kevin is secretly hoping for though his whole body seems heavy with the belief that it's the first. Edd loves Kevin and he said all of those things just to protect him. He wants it to be true, he wants to just pretend he never heard anything and move on.

As he runs, he trips and stumbles, but he doesn't let anything slow him down. Tears sting his eyes but he tries to tell himself it's only the wind and the stench.

He tries not to think about how Edd's hands had felt on his skin when he pressed his desire against Kevin so he could feel it. For a moment, remembering that (he's not sure why he remembered it now of all times but he did) makes his chest warm with a flood of relief. Edd may be able to force himself to kiss Kevin even if he doesn't like him but could he get hard like that?

Actually, that's really dumb. Of course he could. " _It's only natural_ ," he had said and it's true. He could have been completely disgusted with Kevin acting like a pathetic, desperate little kid rutting against his abdomen like a dog in heat and still responded just because biology sucks and boners sort of just happen all of the time when you're a teenager.

Kevin runs faster, the embarrassing memory urging him on.

That's when he turns a corner only to slam right into Lee Kanker of all people.

They both fall right over and, because the world hates him, Kevin practically faceplants into poor Lee's chest. "Oh my god!" he cries shrilly and hurries to scramble off. "I am so sorry!"

She sits up with a scowl twisting her face but it quickly fades when she takes in his expression. "Kevin… What's wrong, dude? You and Edd didn't break up or somethin' did you?"

Kevin frowns and quickly shakes his head. "What? N-no, why?"

She frowns and stands up, offering him her hand. "You're crying, dude…"

"Oh, fuck," he hisses but it's really more of a choked sob honestly. He tries to wipe at his eyes but she grabs his wrist and hauls him up.

"Where's Edd?" she demands.

"He- Eddy- Eddy and him-"

Lee's lips part and even with her bangs hiding her eyes he can somehow tell her eyebrows are shooting upwards. "Holy fuck, where are they? Is Edd hurt?"

"The- uh, tires- there were a bunch of tires and-and Edd broke his nose I think but I ran then and-"

Much to his shock, Lee Kanker wraps an arm around his shoulders and draws him to her side. "Dude, don't worry. Come on-"

She tries to pull him along but Kevin digs his heels in.

Puzzled, she frowns down at him. "What? Did Eddy threaten you or somethin'?"

"Wha- no. No it's…" Kevin gulps and looks down. He's scared to go back now. His heart is hammering away faster than a rabbit's and he just can't do it.

"Walk with me," she says a little gentler but her voice is still rough and leaves no room for argument. "Tell me what happened while we go."

"Okay," he croaks. "I just… I don't know if telling you all this…"

He actually wants to, he's surprised to say. Having someone to talk to about this who is at least a little unbiased yet still has a good idea of what's going on is just what he needs right now but it's so personal and because he feels like a fucking fool already he's not sure he can.

"Did Edd do something to _you_?" she asks in surprise.

He gulps and looks at the ground.

"Come on, it's cool. I'm not gonna go around spilling the beans."

"Does Edd really like me?" he croaks and promptly hides his face in his hands.

"Uh, yeah," she snorts. "Always has. We used to tease him about it before even he realized he liked you. Sorry about that, by the way; I'm pretty sure it's part of the reason he was so rough on you. Embarrassed, you know?"

"Oh…" Kevin murmurs. "Really?"

"Yeah. Did Eddy try to say otherwise or something?"

Kevin tells her what happened as they go along and she's surprisingly quiet, only making small noises to urge him on. They're halfway there when he's done and she takes a moment to process it.

"You know what Eddy did to Double D, right?"

Kevin gulps. "I know that he cut him but I don't really know why or what the circumstances were…"

"I probably shouldn't tell you this," she decides after a long moment of silence, "but I think Edd would want you to know instead of continue thinking he's not into you or something. Well… Eddy sort of… tried to force him, I guess?"

Kevin's mouth is suddenly sealed shut it's so dry. "Force him…?"

"Yeah, to have sex."

Kevin sinks to the ground almost immediately and presses his hands to his eyes so hard he sees flashes of light.

"Yeah…" she says and her voice sounds distant. He's not sure if it's her or him. "It… it's a really long story and I don't even have all of the details. All I know is they were out here at this trashy old van with a waterbed in the back that we all sort of hung out at as kids and something went really fucking wrong."

Kevin's stomach heaves but he manages to keep his vomit down.

"'m sorry…" she mumbles. "I just thought you should know it's… Edd has a really hard time talking to Eddy or dealing with him in general. Not to mention he always tries to fuck with people Double D likes. Possessive motherfucker even though Edd's not his anymore, y'know?

"He used to come after me. All the time he'd be after me. That was sort of their thing when we were kids. Eddy wanted to get with me and he sort of coerced Ed and Double D into trying to get with May and Marie. So… I can tell you first hand he's really possessive. Even of things that aren't his to begin with."

"He was trying to protect me," Kevin confirms brokenly. "Edd was."

She hums in agreement. "Yeah, yeah he was."

He feels like such a fuckup.

* * *

Thank you for reading and all of your lovely feedback! See you next week!


	7. Chapter 7

The plot thickens! Our boys hit their first rough patch! More relationships are revealed! Johnny totally wants in a certain someone's Calvin Klein pants!

Also, just to clarify, as this is reverse world the Kankers who are not so well off in the regular universe are very much so in this one, along with many of the other characters.

* * *

Chapter 7:

Recap:

"He was trying to protect me," Kevin confirms brokenly. "Edd was."

She hums in agreement. "Yeah, yeah he was."

He feels like such a fuckup.

Kevin wants to cry. To punch himself in the fucking face for being such a self-centered dick. He wants to go kick Eddy in the balls and kiss Edd's stupid, pretty mouth and just… this is terrible.

He's terrible. Fuck life right now. Fuck it.

Edd just faced down Eddy while Kevin was spying, listening to all of the horrible shit Edd to say about him when the boy thought Kevin wasn't there to hear and perhaps it was all to protect him but something about it still hurts - hurts him deep down. He feels like shit for doubting Edd but also for trusting him, like he's being torn in half.

Sure Lee says it was to protect him but Lee is also closer to Edd, loyal to him like all three of the Kankers. She could just be lying.

Part of him wonders if this is just his fault, that he should know that Edd does (or doesn't, he still can't choose which) care about him and it's his fault he's here now.

He's been kneeling in the middle of the dump for the past few minutes and Lee Kanker is awkwardly shifting by his side in her Gucci heels and designer clothes. He's never actually been alone with her let alone like this. Never even had a serious conversation, hardly acknowledge each other in the halls, yet she's now explained such a personal situation to him and he's done the same to her. It feels tense and strange.

This is so bizarre. So, so bizarre.

She makes a distressed noise when he stands and reaches out to touch his arm but hesitates at the last minute.

"Sorry," he slurs awkwardly. The tension is practically tangible. This stranger did just share that she's been sexually harassed by the same bastard who tried to (did?) rape Edd. Fuck, he's not even sure which.

Here he is worried about Edd maybe not really liking him like a lovestruck, dramatic teen while Edd is facing down his assailant.

" _Do you honestly think I'd date a boy like that_?" Edd had sneered when asked about Kevin. " _He's not even my type_."

It had hurt then and it still hurts now but the ache and insecurities rising in his chest, threatening to overcome him, are assuaged by Lee's unwavering and blunt assurance that Edd was merely trying to protect him. He has bigger things to be worried about now, anyway; whether Edd really cares about him or not can wait.

Because Edd is, as Kevin dawdles like a fucking child, is practically alone with his attacker.

Kevin stumbles over to one of the piles of trash and pukes right into a random can. He really does have a weak stomach. Lee groans softly behind him.

"He didn't- I'm almost sure he didn't actually _do_ it," she attempts to assure him. "Force Edd. Like… rape him, or something. He didn't, I mean."

Fuck, so awkward and so sickening. _Rape_ is ringing through his ears on repeat and he's not sure how to even begin to process it. That Edd was attacked.

Kevin wants to cry but he's already made enough of a scene and he has no right to break down when Edd might need him or - well, that's sort of self-centered isn't it? Why would Edd need him? Edd might not even want him right now. Or ever. But thinking like that is pretty pathetic, too.

God, why can't anything be easy? Why can't the doubtful voices in his head just shut up? Why can't he just trust Edd or hate him? Either option would be easier than this.

Kevin feels hollow. He can't help but wonder if Edd really meant those things even after Lee's assurance it was meant to protect him, all those nasty words, even with the voice at the back of his head urging him to stop thinking and just act.

"Let's go," he says suddenly. His voice doesn't sound like his own, doesn't even feel like it's coming from his chest.

They do, Kevin quickly striding ahead of her which is mostly because he's not in 300 dollar heels, not because he's hurrying ahead. He's too sick and shaky to go particularly fast. Fever makes his skin prickle and his jacket feel too tight.

When he rounds the corner, he's shocked into a stop and Lee actually bumps into him.

Edd stops too and looks at them with an expression Kevin has never seen on his face, puzzled and vaguely concerned but cold. So, so cold. His skin, usually a soft olive, is pallid and there's blood splattered on his chin.

Kevin might be sick again.

"Edd," he chokes out, strained. He's scared because there's more blood on the taller boy's shirt and he's cradling his right hand with his left, his knuckles an angry red and his fingers curled up loosely as if they're badly hurt.

Edd stares at him for a moment, face cool and blank; it reminds him of the times when he really pissed Edd off in the past.

He takes another stumbling step forward and then Edd's eyes light up.

" _Citrouille_ ," he murmurs, grin stretching across his face.

For a moment, Kevin just stares at him, confused and even a little disoriented by the strange response. There's something almost manic or unhinged about the boy's expression that's like a shard of ice down the boy's spine.

"It's okay," he assures, "just a little fight."

"' _Just a little fight_ '…?" Kevin repeats quietly.

"Come here," he orders and opens up his arms to Kevin. Numb, Kevin trudges forward like his feet don't want to work, like he's being forcefully dragged, and burrows into Edd's leather jacket and the hoodie beneath, not even bothering to avoid the blood. Edd smells like pennies and iron. "It's okay, Pumpkin," he murmurs. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that."

"Are you okay?" Lee asks warily.

"Fine," he assures her and chuckles darkly; goose bumps spread down the redhead's arms. Kevin hasn't felt this unsafe with him since he was in that locker room yet he can't bring himself to pull away. "Look what I got," Edd continues in the singsong that he used to save for teasing Kevin and the boy rears back. The voice sends his stomach into another fit, acid now burning in his throat, but he manages to keep it all down.

In Edd's good hand is the knife from Eddy's belt.

Kevin isn't breathing and Lee has fallen completely silent.

"Think I'll keep it," Edd adds with a leer and Kevin takes a step away, earning his attention. "What's wrong?" he frowns. "It's a little memento of sorts," he explains and waves it around a little.

"Should burn it," Lee says distantly, hollow and cold.

"Why? It's a reminder."

"Exactly."

"That I got him," Edd adds harshly. He's defensive and somehow that's both a relief and another punch to the gut.

"Revenge isn't going to do you or anybody else any good," she snaps. Much to Kevin's horror, she begins to walk away. "The party is starting soon. Hurry up."

Kevin looks to Edd to find him turning the knife over in his hands, expression unreadable. "Edd…?"

"My hand hurts," he mumbles back and he suddenly looks much, much younger, eyes soft around the edges and tired. "Everything hurts."

"You're… you're not alone," Kevin tries to assure him but it comes out weak and maybe a little scared.

Edd's head jerks up and his brows furrow with worry. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he says but it's too quick. Edd opens his mouth to pry further but Kevin cuts him off, "The party. Let's go."

They walk in silence.

About twenty kids of various ages are already there when they arrive. Kevin recognizes most of them from their high school but a reasonable number of them are complete strangers. There's a small bonfire of sorts which helps with the stench of trash and the ever present bugs, a few coolers sitting around, and an array of tires and metal cylinders and pipes arranged around it so people can sit.

Marie pops up, practically out of thin air, and shoves a can of beer into each of their hands. Edd tries to thrust his back into her palm but she drops her hands and gazes at him levelly. Despite his glaring, he doesn't say anything.

"I can get you some ice for that, tough stuff," she tells Edd but her teasing tone is ruined by a tenseness in her eyes. "So… I didn't know until I got here, but Sarah is here, too."

Edd groans and Kevin sighs. Nothing can be easy for poor Kevin Barr.

"Yeah… I'm real sorry about that, by the way…"

"Don't worry. Nothing you could do."

"Uh…"

"Jeez, what else?"

"Jimmy has decided to defend her honor or something."

"What?" Kevin deadpans.

"Don't know, man. Can only tell you what I've heard."

"Should we just go? Or maybe I should," Kevin mumbles.

"No," they both snap and glare at him.

He holds up his hands as if to shield himself. "O-kaaay…"

" _Citrouille_ , I'll take care of it. It's nothing for you to worry about," he assures emphatically.

Kevin's eyes flicker to the outline of the knife in his pocket and Edd shifts away, a slightly offended expression on his face.

Marie clears her throat. "Your hand okay? Who'd you deck?"

"Eddy."

The look on her face would be comical if it wasn't so honest. "Holy _shit_ , dude!"

Edd grins viciously and draws the knife from his pocket with a flourish.

Kevin usually only drinks with his dad or mom present, like at barbeques or Christmas dinner, but right now he feels sick and too present so he cracks the beer open, eyes trained downwards so he doesn't have to look at the knife.

"Are you actually going to drink that…?" Edd asks and Kevin jerks his head up, raising an eyebrow at the disgusted look on his face.

"Uh… yeah, that's the plan…"

"Like… really drink that?"

"Yes, Edd, really. I'm not sure why that's such a shock."

"Because it's disgusting."

Kevin gives him a bored look, eyes flicking down to the beer in Edd's hands.

"He hates beer," Marie supplies. "Well, American beer. Like a proper French boy, he's spoiled with hundred dollar wine from his parents. I bring it to him to piss him off, honestly."

Kevin can't help but snort.

"Don't drink that," Edd practically pleas and hurriedly shoves the knife back into his pocket. "I have some proper beer at home."

"Shut up, you spoiled brat," Marie titters. "His grandpa is also German. And I mean _German_. He bitched about Bud Light for an hour once. Just wait until you meet Opa Elmar."

Edd snorts. "It was fifteen minutes exactly and it wasn't bitching. He was sincerely confused about the lime flavoring."

"An hour," Marie insists emphatically.

Kevin giggles weakly and takes a sip of the beer. Edd makes a noise like he's dying and shoves his own can back into Marie's hands as she cackles.

Just as Kevin thinks things are going to ease back into place, Johnny approaches them with Plank hovering by his shoulder. Edd's hand twitches by his side like he's tempted to reach out and draw Kevin close or hold his hand but he doesn't. There's something about that, his reluctance, that is more startling to Kevin's system than anything else.

Edd sighs and turns to them, his arm finally winding around Kevin's shoulder to draw him in somewhat roughly (and… reluctantly, Kevin realizes. Maybe he doesn't want to be seen with Kevin afterall). "Stay by me," he murmurs lowly and Kevin replies with a choked "Ye-ah."

"Double D," Johnny say and rolls his tongue across his teeth, jerking his chin up defiantly. By his side, a vicious smile curls Plank's lips. "Listen… because I'll only say this once…"

Edd is stiffening, Kevin can feel it, his fingers digging into the smaller boy's shoulders, and Marie saddles up to his side, cracking her knuckles.

"Continue to look pissed," Johnny says and winks emphatically.

Edd grows perfectly still Marie lets out a disgruntled "Huh?".

"No, dude, I'm serious. _Pissed_ \- pretend I'm calling you a fag or something."

Edd actually huffs out a laugh but his expression turns positively murderous.

"Better," Johnny sneers and Plank laughs darkly. "We don't want any trouble," he continues lowly, "and Sarah is annoying as hell."

Plank hums in assent.

" _Amen_ ," Marie breathes.

"So we're pretending?" Kevin hisses in shock, eyes flickering between Edd and the other boy.

"Yeah, Pumpkin, we're pretending," he growls but once again winks and waggles his eyebrows. Kevin glowers at him and he's not really pretending at all. "We _obviously_ have a bone to pick with you, Vincent."

Edd sighs, but Kevin can tell he's half amused. "Pick away."

"Jimmy is going to wreck you, dude."

Edd actually barks out a laugh. "That scrawny thing in his little Ralph Lauren polo?"

"Uh, yeah… He'll at least try, y'know? And he's not all that scrawny in case you've missed his growth spurt because - _damn_."

"Who is Jimmy again?" Kevin dares to whisper.

"Rich boy that's Sarah's best friend," Johnny says in explanation, something about his tone is bitter but Kevin's not sure he can explain it.

"Oh… are you and Sarah not friends?"

He scoffs, "No."

"He wants to get with Braces," Plank grumbles. Kevin stares at him because this might be the first time he's ever heard the boy speak but he says no more because Johnny quickly clamps a hand over his mouth.

" _Dude_!"

"You're blowing your cover," Marie mutters, eyes narrowing.

Johnny quickly looks back to Double D, jaw set. "He _will_ beat you up."

"It's true," Plank concedes. "And Johnny wants to get with him. So it would be problematic if-"

" _Dude_! Seriously! Shut up!"

"So you're trying to do what here? Seem like you're on his side but you're still on mine, right?"

"Of course, D. We're always on your side," his hand stutters forward but he refrains from reaching out to Edd. "Is this okay? Just until this blows over I'll keep my distance."

"It's fine. I wish you luck in your romantic endeavors," he adds with a leer. Marie hoots and Plank laughs so lowly it's hardly even there.

"Aw, shut up…" he groans. "Anyway," he says, raising his voice comically so it's high and cracking, "you better apologize for-"

"Shut up," Edd snarls.

Suddenly Edd and Plank are in each other's faces and Johnny's lips are pressed together tightly to contain his amusement.

"Hey," Kevin tries weakly, his discomfort honest as people are starting to stare. "Listen, why don't we all just calm down?" He carefully tugs on Edd's wrist and Johnny takes ahold of Planks shoulders, easing him back.

"Better watch out," Johnny cries loudly, so that all of them can hear. "Jimmy'll kick your ass!"

Edd is smirking but luckily most will probably take it as a sign of the usual pleasure he garners from causing trouble, not the amusement of tricking everyone.

The two pretend to have a stare down before Johnny finally draws Plank back the way they came.

"Sarah sucks dick," Marie whispers loudly after them. She turns to Edd and Kevin with a lopsided smile. "Shit's getting _interesting_. Always suspected Jimmy was gay but Johnny? Didn't have a clue."

"He dated Richard Lau in middle school," Edd laughs and her jaw drops.

" _No_."

" _Yes_."

Kevin drinks his beer in silence, secretly locking all of this information away in case he ever needs to remind Johnny not to fuck with him. Or Plank, for that matter.

There was one instance in which the two brothers snatched Kevin's backpack right from his hands in the hallway and quickly ran to the bathroom, hooting and hollering, where they then shoved it in the toilet.

Another instance, Kevin had snapped at Johnny after the boy spent an entire period flicking paper balls at his head and Plank later clocked him following his Quiz Bowl practice, when the halls were completely empty. He had to tell his parents there was an accident at lunch involving slipping and banging his head on the side of the table and then talk them out of calling the school in an uproar.

He has no doubt the new information will come in handy.

"Hey," Edd murmurs and Kevin jerks his head up. His hand is still lightly curled around Edd's wrist and the other boy's skin suddenly feels as if it's too hot. He jerks away and Edd frowns though his eyes are unreadable. "Jimmy is very small. It's okay."

"They said-" his voice is rough and it breaks so badly he can't finish.

"He's tough but he's still smaller than me. Don't worry."

"Yeah, Pumpkin, we've got your back," Marie assures him with a soft smile. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find my date." She bounces away with a grin and a wink.

Kevin takes a drink again. He wants to get that light, floating feeling and quickly.

"Would you like to sit down or maybe walk for a little bit? Let things calm down?"

"We should sit," Kevin says instantly, "and your hand needs ice."

Edd nods and draws Kevin towards the edge of the clearing where a shorter pipe rests unoccupied. It's cold even through Kevin's jeans but Edd seems to sense this and slides out of his own leather jacket to wrap around the boy's narrow shoulders.

"I'll be right back, _citrouille_ ," he murmurs then strides quickly towards the closest cooler, nodding to the two boys hanging around it before locking hands with one of - oh. _Oh_. That's Jacob Messer. He's second in their class, wickedly smart and has this cute, boyish look. Not to mention he's the only other gay boy attending their school that Kevin was aware of until Edd came out. And… he and Edd are close.

Actually-friends-close. Edd-never-harasses-him-close.

Now that he's thinking about it, wasn't it just a few days ago that he was wondering why Edd had feelings for him and not Jacob? It was, actually. And he was right to wonder because he can see it so clearly now, like this: Edd's hand slipped easily into the other boy's as if it belongs there, elegant fingers brushing Jacob's dark skin, feeling his pulse. He's beautiful, Jacob is and Edd too, Jacob smaller and slightly compact with dark eyes that shine and full lips. It would probably feel better to kiss him than Kevin who is all awkward limbs and harsh angles.

He looks down at his feet when those lips draw into a warm smile, flashing perfect teeth. The last thing he wants is to watch the exchange or to be caught staring.

Kevin gulps down some more beer until some of his tension eases and his blood feels warm.

Edd returns with a plastic bag stuffed with ice and sits down next to Kevin, surprisingly far away. It's as if a line has been drawn between them.

Kevin knows then that whatever this was - whatever it could have been - is over.

"How is it…?" he asks softly because there will be time to mourn their nonexistent relationship later.

"Fine," he sighs. "Don't worry about it."

Dejected and a little bitter, Kevin looks away. "Do you even want to be here?" he snaps.

Edd is quiet for a minute before standing once more. "You have my keys?"

"Yeah…"

"I'll be right back. Let me go talk to the Kankers. Just…" he sighs, "stay right here."

Kevin watches sadly as he walks away. He pulls the the leather jacket around his shoulders a little tighter and closes his eyes against the tears threatening to spill.

He should have never allowed himself to fall for the lie. He's an absolute fool. This entire thing was a ruse from the start and even _he_ knew it. That was the whole point: _pretend to date_. Pretend. This was all pretend and it should have stayed that way because now Kevin's heart feels like it's being slowly torn open.

Before he came out of that locker room with Eddward Vincent, if you had told him that Double D finds him unattractive and annoying he'd be okay with that. He may even have taken a little bit of pride in being able to get under Edd's skin in any way possible. Now though, now it hurts and it hurts deep.

Kevin was falling for it. All of it: the sweet words, the pet names, the gentle touches, soft and passionate kisses, the feeling of being beautiful - God, it had felt so good to actually believe he was something good - and of being next to someone after years alone. He fell for all of it, like the fool he is.

He gasps softly when a warm body presses close to his side.

He blinks at Jacob Messer owlishly and the boy grins somewhat sheepishly, scratching at the short curls of hair at the back of his neck. "Hey Kevin," he says warmly, voice open and friendly, "it's been a while but we had Geometry together."

"Ye-yeah," he croaks, "I remember. With Mr. Horace"

How could he not remember? Jacob is practically perfect - almost as perfect as Edd. He's wealthy, talented and intelligent but, unlike Edd, he's sweet. Painfully sweet. He's unreal he's so kind and gentle with everyone.

His face falls and Kevin feels guilty somehow, unsure of what he's done or if his bizarre jealousy somehow shows on his face. "Oh, are you not feeling well?" Jacob murmurs then rushes to press his glasses up his nose and shrug out of his nice canvas jacket.

"Oh! No! You don't need to-"

He grins, lopsided and gorgeous. "I know I don't but you look miserable, dude."

Kevin frowns and awkwardly allows Jacob to lay the jacket in his lap. "Thanks…"

"No problem… I could get you some marshmallows if you want. I know how to get 'em just right so they're hot and melted on the inside. That would warm you up real quick."

Kevin's face flushes and his heart flip flops almost painfully. "I-I'm really okay," he assure and makes an honest effort to smile.

Jacob's face lights up. "Well… just tell me if you need anything, okay?"

"Thanks- Thank you," he chokes out. God, he feels pathetic for just a little bit of attention making him act like a fool.

"Hey, don't worry about it," he grins. "Are you sure you're okay though?" he murmurs lowly. "I know- well, I came out freshman year, you know…"

"I know," Kevin says hoarsely. "That was- It was really brave."

It was. Especially considering Jacob's position as the child of a public official. It was even on the news.

It's hard to tell, but Kevin thinks he blushes as he ducks his head. "Thanks, man. You guys, too. You just went in headfirst, too! I was like 'Damn! Good for them!' Never even realized either of you were going through this, y'know? Felt a little stupid for not realizing."

Kevin scoffs. "It's not like being gay comes with a built in 'gaydar' or whatever people think it is."

That actually gets Jacob to laugh, loud and honest. It's a good feeling. "You know, my mom is always asking me 'Is that one gay? His pants sure do look gay' and I'm like 'Mom, pants don't make a man gay'."

Kevin actually giggles. "My mom, when I told her I'm bi, she said 'Oh! The one where you like both!'"

He snorts and shakes his head. "My parents still don't get bisexuality or pansexuality. My cousin is pan and they get all worked up about it like it's the most unbelievable thing in the world. Every time we see her they ask her something more ridiculous than the last like they're testing her or something. It started with 'Does that mean you'd date a hermaphrodite?' - like that's the most _unbelievable_ thing they've ever heard - and it's just gone downhill from there."

"My dad once asked me 'What's transgender? Is that like tumblr or something?'."

The two laugh so hard it hurts.

Wiping tears from his eyes, Jacob gently smiles at Kevin. "Well… just know that if you need anything, I'm here. I went through it all: bullying, parents, my church…" he explains quietly, face now solemn. "I don't mean to pry or anything like that," he adds quickly, "I only want to make sure- well, I would hate to watch anyone else suffer unnecessarily."

Kevin's chest feels warm and squirmy. He sort of wants to melt. "Thank you… that's very kind of you."

Jacob's smile is brilliant and he gently bumps his shoulders against Kevin's. "Don't mention it! Hey, want to exchange numbers?"

Kevin almost falls off the tube he grabs at his phone so fast. Jacob laughs good naturedly and holds onto Kevin's shoulder. For once Kevin doesn't feel like he's being laughed at or ridiculed; he's fully aware he's grinning like a fool but that's okay, he realizes, it's perfectly fine.

They're almost done entering their numbers and information into each other's phones when Edd returns, looming over them.

Kevin quirks a brow at his grim expression; for some reason he finds himself wondering if Eddward is jealous and, if so, of which one of them. "Someone piss you off?"

"My hand hurts," he grunts back.

"Well, one second and we'll go."

Jacob looks at the bloody hand with a concerned frown. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," Edd murmurs, voice much warmer and friendlier even.

Kevin wants to scream at him, at Jacob, at himself. Fuck, he doesn't even know what he's feeling right now, to be honest. Some sick mix of jealousy and self-hate.

Jacob smiles lopsidedly up at him and Kevin goes back to resenting both of them (just a little as far as Jacob is concerned, he's too sweet to be truly frustrated with).

Finally, numbers saved, Kevin and Jacob stand. "I'll see you guys later! Don't be afraid to text me - anytime."

"Thank you," Kevin croaks once more and hands his jacket back with a blush painting his cheeks.

Jacob smiles at him gently. "Hope your hand feels better, dude," he says warmly and pats Edd on the shoulder; the little smile that appears for just a moment on the taller boy's face is like a punch in the chest.

Kevin turns and quickly walks away.

" _I'm not actually dating him - it's just a little game_."

" _This is my revenge_."

" _Do you honestly think I'd date a boy like that?"_

" _He's obnoxious."_

He can't get any of it out of his head - it's like the words are stuck there, swirling around and torturing him. He wants to scream until he can't hear himself think. Wants to make it all stop.

He tilts his head back and guzzles down the rest of the beer.

Edd grabs him by the shoulder so some of it trickles down his chin and whirls him around. He looks livid. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kevin bites before Edd can even think about saying anything and wipes the alcohol away with the sleeve of Edd's jacket, for a moment overwhelmed by the scent of leather and beer.

He feels a little dizzy.

Edd looks like he's about ready to throw a fit. "What's wrong with _me_? What's wrong with _you_? You've been acting weird since-" he motions to his bruised knuckles vaguely, "and I don't know why. You understand what happened, don't you? I heard Eddy and I had to get you out of there, that's why I told you to go to the car."

Kevin stares at him coldly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel like I was abandoning you or something along those lines. I don't know what to do to make it right unless you tell me."

Kevin can't help but bark out a derisive laugh, twisting to look away, hiding the tears burning at the corners of his eyes.

Edd shakes his head in disbelief. "I don't get it. What's wrong? What did I do? You won't touch me-" his voice cracks. "Just fucking _touch_ me."

There's a thrill of vindictive glee that comes with hearing Edd beg for him but there's also guilt. Painful, heartwrenching guilt. This is the boy who has gone without touch for so, so long only to be forced to- God, Kevin can't do this.

Kevin turns away once more and drinks the last little drops of beer in one go. He feels unpleasantly full, especially since he threw up everything he ate today only to replace it with beer of all things. "I'd rather not annoy you with my problems. Let's just go."

He makes it maybe a yard before Edd grabs him by the collar of the leather jacket and yanks him back. "What the hell is going on? You're not alone - _never alone_ , not while I'm around. Why are you acting like an ass?" he growls and forces Kevin to face him, grabbing the slender boy by his upper arms none too gently.

Kevin only glares at him levelly. "I'm acting like an ass? Well, I suppose I'd rather be an ass than _obnoxious_."

Edd's face twists in confusion. "Kevin, I'm not in the mood to play games-"

"Funny," he snarls, leaning into Edd's face so his nose wrinkles from the booze on Kevin's breath, "considering that's all any of this is - _a game_."

Understanding dawns on his face and his hands loosen their grip, allowing Kevin to tear away. For a moment they just stand, staring at each other, and hope begins to rise like bile in Kevin's throat. This is it, Edd will either apologize and explain himself or…

Kevin shouldn't be feeling hope. He swallows it down and turns to walk away. Edd doesn't even follow-

"Oh…" he murmurs so quietly the other boy barely catches it; it's like a knife to the gut ( _fucking hell_ , that's not what Kevin meant, he doesn't want to think about that, feels _sick_ for even comparing it to that). "Kevin."

The boy stops so quickly he almost falls forward. (Stop hoping, you fucking idiot, he's just going to-)

"Oh, yeah," Kevin murmurs, voice perfectly hollow. He shrugs out of Edd's leather jacket and stuffs his car keys inside the right pocket before turning to throw it to Edd.

The other boy seems to be frozen in place, a sad, horrified look blossoming on his face, but he still manages to grab the jacket. Kevin refuses to fall for his little act ( _stop hoping, stop it_ ) and turns again to walk away.

"Stop," Edd says harshly but Kevin doesn't listen, his mind is far away and his feet are now moving automatically, putting more and more distance between him and the glow of the clearing. The sky is already darkening, heavy storm clouds not helping the situation. He wonders if he might get lost in here, in the maze of trash and unwanted things. "Kevin…" Edd pleads.

Kevin is distantly aware that he's crying.

"Jesus," Edd mutters and the boy can hear footsteps quickly approaching.

"Go away," he sobs and his shoulders shake.

Edd doesn't listen, grabbing him once more by the shoulders to draw the smaller boy against his chest, hushing him and petting his back, stroking his hair. "Kevin…" he sighs sadly. "Did you really believe those terrible things I said?"

"Why shouldn't I?" he cries like a petulant child, headbutting Edd's chest gently.

"Because, as I've told you before and much more often than that, I adore you."

Kevin punches his chest weakly. "Shut up."

"I do. I adore you and your pale skin, your freckles, those green eyes. I adore your wit and your humor. I adore your intelligence. I adore your smile, the way you always take everything so seriously, how you're so determined-"

"Fu-fuck you," he whines, tears hot on his skin.

"I love you…" Edd insists softly. "You're the most beautiful person I've ever met."

"Stop!" he begs and punches Edd's chest with more vigor though he still won't budge, palms smoothing down the smaller boy's back.

"I can't. I don't want to. I love you."

"Fuck you."

"I've told you all of my deepest secrets, you know all of my desires, you know how badly I'm hurt. How could you believe I would do that to you? I would never. I know I've been less than… I've been terrible to you," he chokes out, "but I will never hurt you again. I have no desire to ever see you hurt and I doubt I even could do something to you, knowingly, that would cause you any pain. It would be too much like hurting myself.

"I hated saying those things about you but I can't just let Eddy know how important you are to me. He tried to take everything I have away from me, he still tries, and I'm not going to let that happen to someone so important to me - no, the _most_ important person to me."

Kevin punches his stomach again, this time hard enough to make the other boy's breath leave him if only slightly. " _Shut up_. I hate you - _fuck_! I-I-" he chokes on his tears and is left shaking in Edd's arms.

"Kevin…" Edd murmurs sadly and squeezes him carefully.

Kevin rears back and stares at him, breath frantic and eyes almost wild. "Fuck you," he seethes. "I'll show you - how it feels-"

Edd finally looks uncomfortable if not afraid and Kevin laughs soundlessly if only to keep himself from crying, grabbing him by the back of his neck to drag him into a kiss. Their lips meet harshly, teeth clinking, and Edd sucks in a breath. It hurts, it doesn't feel like a kiss it feels like Kevin is going to tear him open and leave him to rot. Edd pushes his shoulders weakly but Kevin only presses closer, his tears tainting the kiss further. When Kevin draws away Edd looks like he's seeing him for the first time.

His lip is bleeding. The wicked taste of blood and alcohol mix on Kevin's tongue.

Kevin, in all of his hurt and all of his rage, smacks him hard across the face and Edd gasps, stumbling back, wide-eyed and cursing more savagely than Kevin has ever heard him before.

"That's how it fucking felt," he cries brokenly. "That's how you made me feel. Fuck, that's how it felt before, even, all of the horrible shit you did to me. You were the worst. Worse than the punches and the-the stealing and the cruel names. You were so bad to me - so, so bad to me. I shouldn't- shouldn't trust - I can't- Don't you fucking dare-" he hiccups and curses himself for it, "do that to me again."

It's like all of those terrible, overwhelming emotions leave Kevin in a flood when he meets Edd's eyes. He stands there, cold and stunned by his own actions, watching as Edd takes him in, expression revealing how betrayed yet ashamed he feels as he cradles his cheek.

"If you ever," Kevin finds himself saying, soft and low, the words spilling forth as if he knows them by heart, "say something like that again or suggest this relationship isn't real, I will make you regret ever hurting me. So, tell me now - tell me…" He hates himself for the sob that escapes his quickly-closing throat. "If you don't want this, if you don't _sincerely_ -"

Edd's eyes turn steely and he steps closer. "I _do_ want it," he says firmly. "I want you. I want us. I know you still don't fully trust me and I'm sorry for what I said - more sorry than you'll ever know - but I would do it again to keep you safe. Just tell me what you need from me - to trust me. I know it's not - that simple but… if there's anything I can do, I will do it in a heartbeat."

Kevin nods and his head spins.

"But," he adds sharply and Kevin's eyes grow wide, "if you ever lay a hand on me again without me physically provoking you, which I will not as you are precious to me, I will make you regret it, just the same."

Feeling suddenly hollowed out and sick, Kevin nods. "I understand."

Then he stumbles back around and pukes all over again.

Edd makes a high, shrill noise behind him. "Messy-" he gasps, disgusted and alarmed.

Kevin begins crying in earnest. "I have a weak stomach," he hiccups. "I donno why."

"Jesus Christ."

Edd, cheek and hand both red, turns Kevin around and draws him away from the spot before very carefully guiding the boy onto his back.

"Piggy back," Kevin slurs, laughing wildly, and nuzzles into the soft hair at the base of the other boy's skull.

"Lightweight…" Edd grumbles back.

* * *

Edd drives him home with his window rolled down despite Kevin's protests, claiming the cold air will help him with his drunkenness (he's totally not drunk, just a little tipsy and sickish). Kevin does start feeling clearer by the time they reach Edd's drive.

They're quiet the whole way but it's comfortable, not tense or cold. Just quiet.

It doesn't take long to get home. Edd pulls into his driveway so they're sitting in front of his dark and empty house, right across from the soft glow of Kevin's own. It's a shock, the difference between the two, that breaks Kevin's heart a little more; he can't bring himself to look at the other boy.

"I'm sorry," Edd says softly, in the quiet created by turning off the car. "I shouldn't have said any of those things."

"I shouldn't have listened…" Kevin mutters.

"That's hardly the issue, _mon coeur_."

"I… I don't know why I can't just…"

"Should you come inside?" Edd asks quietly. "You can take a shower and brush your teeth. Or-" Kevin swears he curses under his breath but then he realizes Edd seriously just said "Darn it" like some dork. He finally looks over at Edd to find him tearing off his hat in order to tear a hand through his hair. "I don't want to sound like I'm coming onto you."

That shocks a laugh out of Kevin and the boy jumps, turning his bright, blue eyes on Kevin; he looks so innocent and surprised it hurts.

"Can you really come on to your boyfriend?"

Edd looks pleasantly surprised. "So… we are still boyfriends, then?"

Kevin's chest tightens. "I-I thought- do you not-?"

"Of course I want to be, I just… I hurt you."

"And I hurt you."

They're quiet for a moment, eyes locked. It feels like things are okay, uncertain and a little shaky but okay.

"You spent the night at my house, I only think it's fair I now get to experience the Vincent household's hospitality."

Edd chuckles sardonically. "' _Hospitality_ '…"

Kevin gives him a pointed look. "Edd…"

"If I get you in there alone all night…" he sighs, hands tightening on the steering wheel rhythmically. "Let's just say I can't make any promises."

Kevin scoffs, "What are you going to do? Ravish me?"

Edd gives him a bored look. "You know what I'm willing to do in a car…"

Kevin sucks in a sharp breath, face aflame. That kiss they shared right here, in this car, with Edd's hands rough in his hair and his lips demanding and their- fuck, he can't bring himself to think about it. It had been so, so good. That kiss, the intimacy and honesty of it, had been unlike anything he ever experienced before.

God, how could he doubt Edd's intentions after a kiss like that?

"I-I don't mean that I'm going to hurt you or anything," Edd says quickly, sensing the other boy's discomfort but misinterpreting it. "I just… I want to touch you." His voice is so soft and sincere that it makes Kevin's heart warm.

"You really do like me, don't you…"

It's not a question but Edd nods anyway. "Obviously. I've never even _tried_ to hide it."

"You can touch me," he whispers, hesitantly peeking at him.

Edd licks his lips, drawn out and slow. "I can? But, no - you're drunk."

"I'm a little tipsy, still."

"And I won't touch you when you are unable to consent," Edd says quickly, blue eyes meeting his, intense and fervent. "I won't even kiss you."

Kevin's throat draws tight. This is a boy who was or was almost raped, of course he won't hurt Kevin that way yet look how scared he is just thinking about-

"Fuck," Kevin murmurs and his brows furrow. "Edd, I'm not that drunk."

"You're drunk enough," he huffs back.

"You sound like my mother," Kevin snarks.

"Good. That means I'm doing something right."

He groans and tilts his head back. "Edd… do I even sound drunk to you?"

"That's a stupid question and I am of the opinion there's rarely such a thing."

"Fuck you. Can I spend the night or not?"

"Of course. I'll sleep on the couch, so don't worry-"

"Don't be a martyr. We're going to sleep in your bed. Together. And I'm not going to wear any pants."

Edd chokes on air.

"O-kay, maybe I'm a little drunk but we can cuddle, right? There's nothing-" he cuts himself off, stomach feeling like lead. He was about to say something joking and light about rape like a fucking bastard. God, he's such an idiot.

Edd frowns. "What's wrong?"

"I-" he shakes his head. "Lee told me-"

Edd's face darkens and Kevin's words die on his tongue. "Listen, Kevin, please do not…" he gulps and rakes a hand through his hair, eyes focused on something Kevin can't see. "Do not… _worry_ \- about that."

"How can I not worry about that?"

"It's… he tried. It was a misunderstanding. He tried, I stopped it - it was not…" Edd gulps. "It's not that big of a deal."

"It sounds like a big deal…"

"We'll… Can I hold you?"

"Yeah, of course. Boyfriend."

Edd can't hide how he preens.

* * *

"Will you wear my clothes?" Edd murmurs as he guides Kevin to his room. "To bed?"

"What's your deal with clothes and smell and shit?"

Edd scoffs at him softly. His hands keep hovering around Kevin as if he's worried the boy will topple over; it feels good. "If you don't want to-"

"Can I have a tshirt and some shorts or something?"

"What happened to 'I'm not going to wear any pants'?"

"I was just messing with you."

Edd laughs softly. "No you weren't."

"No, I wasn't. But what I say while tipsy and sick shouldn't be taken seriously."

He's a little dizzy still so when Edd suddenly twirls him around and pushes him onto the bed his vision nearly whites out. Kevin looks up at him, disgruntled and a little grumpy, but Edd almost immediately begins peppering his face with kisses.

The small boy hums softly and wraps his arms around Edd's neck as the boy kneels in the floor before him. "What're you doing?" he slurs sleepily, tugging at the ends of Edd's soft hair.

"Taking your shoes off," he explains softly and takes Kevin's hand into his own to kiss his palm. " _Tu es précieux_ ," he mutters against Kevin's pale skin, blue eyes sliding up to the boy's face as he presses careful kisses on his fingertips.

Kevin bites his lip and sighs softly. "You… That feels nice…"

"Good," he sighs, breath warm against the boy's skin. "I want to make you feel good."

God, it's surreal to be in Edd Vincent's room with the boy on his knees before him, everything quiet and warm, the light of the lamp the only thing keeping the dark at bay. It makes him sleepy, the soft light, along with the alcohol warming his blood.

Edd's hands ease down Kevin's calves and he begins meticulously untying his shoes, loosening the laces, and easing them off his feet.

"I can do it…" he murmurs weakly.

"I want to do it."

"Okay…"

With the shoes off, Edd goes ahead and slips off his socks as well. He takes the boy's delicate ankle in his hand and draws the pants up with a swipe of his thumb. Kevin makes an embarrassing noise when Edd presses a kiss to his ankle.

"Beautiful…" he sighs and finally stands. He bows over Kevin and the boy carefully reaches out to him, resting his hand on his shoulders. Edd sighs in content as their lips brush, parted yet barely there, breathing each other in. "Gross…" he mutters but doesn't pull away.

"Yeah, puke and beer is a great combo…" Kevin titters.

"I want to kiss you," he sighs mournfully.

"Cheek?"

Edd grunts but kisses along Kevin's jaw anyway, one hand cupping the opposite side of the boy's face. "So soft…" he mutters wondrously.

"Shut up…"

Edd laughs breathily against his cheek. "Let's never fight."

"Never," Kevin agrees. "Unless it involves make up sex."

Edd draws away with a shocked look on his face, something torn between horror and disgust, and Kevin falls back laughing.

"Oh god! Your _expression_!"

"You are not allowed to ever drink again," Edd snaps grumpily. "You become… lewd when drunk."

"'m not drunk!"

" _Tipsy_ \- whatever."

Kevin watches as the boy walks away to carefully search through his drawers, occasionally withdrawing some neatly folded articles of clothing. The smaller boy curls up on his side, dozing slightly, and wonders if he'll see Edd nude again tonight. He shouldn't be thinking about this, especially not now, but Edd is so beautiful and perfect and his body is so perfect.

Okay, Kevin is truly in deep.

"Hey… what is your type?"

Edd pauses, staring at the wall for a moment before turning to face Kevin. "That again?"

"Please? I'll tell you mine."

"You first then."

Kevin rolls his eyes but complies. "Boys or girls first?"

"Boys. I don't care about girls."

"Really? Most people think bisexuals are going to run away with a member of whatever sex they're not, y'know?"

"I trust you," Edd chuckles. "I don't care about your attraction to women."

"Okay, men it is then. I like tall guys, first off."

Edd hums, facing him so he can see the boy's smirk. "One down."

"Shut up. So, tall guys. I like, y'know, muscles. And beards - beards are cute, but, like, not big beards."

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

"Well… I _diiid_ notice your stubble this morning…" he says and bats his eyes innocently.

Edd looks a little stricken and Kevin immediately blushes and looks away. So, maybe he is a little drunk to be saying this sort of thing.

"I can do that," Edd says softly and they both seem to jump at the sound of his voice. "I mean - I-I can- you know what I mean."

Kevin smiles at him, at his eagerness and soft blush, his stomach fluttering and insides warm. "You don't have to-"

"But I can. I don't mind."

Kevin blushes and hides his grin in the sheets. "Okay."

"Okay…"

"Yours now."

Edd scowls and looks away.

"And if you say 'scrawny redheads' I'll call you out on kissing ass."

The taller boy gives him an unamused look. "Honestly? I don't care as much about a person's physical appearance as I do their mind. But I do like boys on the smaller side…" he admits, now glaring at his feet stubbornly. "Slender, petite… you get the idea."

"So… scrawny guys like me?"

"You're not scrawny, Kevin."

"I'm pretty scrawny."

He huffs out a soft, affectionate little noise that makes Kevin's chest tight. When Edd looks at him there's so much adoration there that he feels like hiding his face again. "You're bone structure is also beautiful."

Kevin actually hides his face. "Shut up."

"It's true. Your jaw-"

"My shovel chin, you mean?"

Edd scoffs. "Who said that?"

"Eh, the football team likes to call me that…"

"The football team has very poor taste in human beings in general. You're beautiful, Kevin. Do not listen to any petty fool who attempts to tell you different."

Kevin tries to bunch up the sheets to hide his face even more but he's honestly grinning like mad.

"Well, would you like to shower first? I'll take care of my wounds."

"Are you sure you don't need help?" Kevin asks quickly and sits up so fast his head hurts.

Edd's smile is worth it, it's so warm and adoring. "No, but thank you. Here," he hands Kevin a small pile of clothes. "I included a pair of briefs but you don't have to wear them if they make you uncomfortable or are far too big. They are clean though," he says a little too fast, cheeks red.

"You wear briefs?" Kevin snickers and Edd rolls his eyes.

"I suppose this means you wear boxers?"

"Yeah, briefs are pretty… well, know."

"Shut up and go shower. Also, brush your teeth with one of the toothbrushes in the right drawer. They should still be in their boxes."

Kevin giggles all the way down the hall.

* * *

Everything in Edd's shower is in perfect order. It's honestly intimidating not to mention it's finally starting to sink in that he's showering alone in Edd's house with only Edd around.

(He's totally not thinking about Edd's dick again or how it had felt against him.)

He tries to make the shower quick. The pipe has good pressure and it's nice and warm, waking him up at first then lulling him back into his sleepy state. He looks through the various bottles of soap and shampoo, opening a few to smell. When he finds the one he recognizes as Edd's due to it's baby shampoo smell he eagerly pours some out and massages it into his hair.

If Edd has such a thing about smell then he'll surely like this.

Kevin keeps it short and is out in maybe ten minutes. The room is still humid and hot despite how quick he was and he flicks on the fan before drying himself off properly. Finally he turns to the pile of clothes Edd gave him.

Embarrassingly enough, the thought of putting on Edd's clothes along with the fact he's naked in Edd's house and all alone with him does have him half-hard. He thinks about Calculus and derivatives in order to keep it down.

He chooses to wear his own underwear again because he's not about to put on Edd's briefs, that's just too much. But the worn black tee is tugged on quickly. It's soft and actually fits him well enough though it reaches his mid-thigh. It smells like Edd, as does Kevin's skin and hair, and for a moment Kevin thinks he gets the scent thing. This is heady and intoxicating.

Reluctantly, Kevin pulls on the gym shorts Edd also included, gasping quietly when he accidentally brushes his length. (This is not the time for this.)

When he returns to Edd's room the taller boy is sitting on his bed, focused on wrapping up his knuckles. Kevin watches for a moment, frowning at the angry red skin, the slight abrasions and bruising. He pads quietly into the room, Edd still not looking up as he finishes covering the wound until Kevin's hands come to cradle his one. Before Edd can look up, he ducks his head and kisses each finger carefully.

"I wish I had been with you," Kevin tells him hoarsely.

Edd stares at him, lips slightly parted and eyes shining, open and honest. Kevin can't look away. "Next time… I won't send you away."

"Never alone should mean _never_."

"Yeah…" he whispers.

Kevin crawls onto the bed and Edd leans back against the headboard to give him room. He slips into the taller boy's lap, knees bracketing his hips, and kisses him soundly. His tongue flickers across Edd's bottom lip and he sighs softly, opening himself to Kevin. He's so pliant and content it makes something inside Kevin's chest ache with adoration.

This kiss is gentle, soft, yet still deep. Edd's tongue curls with Kevin's and the boy presses closer, sliding his hands into dark hair as Edd's possessively grab at his hips, smoothing over them, squeezing firm yet always gentle.

"Never alone," he says quietly, against Edd's soft lips. Blue eyes crack open and his wicked tongue teases across the seam of Kevin's lips.

"Never," Edd agrees. He curls a hand around the back of Kevin's neck and drags him back in. "Always together."

* * *

Thank you for reading! This chapter might be something I write an M/E side fic for at some point. If I do you'll be able to find it on my tumblr or AO3 which are both linked on my profile.

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated!


	8. Chapter 8

Hi guys! This is where things get MATURE. But hopefully in an okay way. Also, there's more Pour Toi related stuff on my tumblr: lavirarose if you want to check it out.

* * *

"I wish I had been with you," Kevin tells him hoarsely.

Edd stares at him, lips slightly parted and eyes shining, open and honest. Kevin can't look away. "Next time… I won't send you away."

"Never alone should mean _never_."

"Yeah…" he whispers.

Kevin crawls onto the bed and Edd leans back against the headboard to give him room. He slips into the taller boy's lap, knees bracketing his hips, and kisses him soundly. His tongue flickers across Edd's bottom lip and he sighs softly, opening himself to Kevin. He's so pliant and content it makes something inside Kevin's chest ache with adoration.

This kiss is gentle, soft, yet still deep. Edd's tongue curls with Kevin's and the boy presses closer, sliding his hands into dark hair as Edd's possessively grab at his hips, smoothing over them, squeezing firm yet always gentle.

"Never alone," he says quietly, against Edd's soft lips. Blue eyes crack open and his wicked tongue teases across the seam of Kevin's lips.

 **Chapter 8:**

"You smell like me…" Edd murmurs and noses against Kevin's cheek. He runs his hands through the boy's red hair, drags his nails gently against Kevin's scalp, then trails his fingers teasingly down each side of his neck, fluttering them almost cautiously across his thin shoulders until he shivers.

A strange feeling is seizing Kevin's heart, something that can only be described as _perfect_ yet it's foreign enough to send chills down his spine. It's safe yet new, something like excitement but subtler. He wants to kiss Edd, wants to take his tongue into his mouth, to feel like they are so close there is nothing that could possibly separate them, to forget everything for one night and simply do what feels right, to continue kissing him until it feels like they are one person-

The smaller boy laughs soundlessly and bats at his shoulder, the noise somewhat hollow due to his own panic. He feels as if his train of thought (spiraling quickly into the inappropriate) has practically sobered him up along with the shower. "That's what happens when someone wears your clothes and uses your soap."

Edd hums noncommittally and presses a kiss to Kevin's jaw. He shivers at the feel of small prickles forming along Edd's chin. Yeah, this beard thing might be a… _thing-_ thing.

"I should shower… but you're so tempting…" Edd sighs. " _Mon beau_ … _vous êtes si précieux pour moi_."

"Just think: we spent the whole day in the dump."

That gets Edd moving. With a huff that's all fake annoyance, he grabs Kevin by the hips, lithe fingers locking around his waist firmly, which sends a thrill up the boy's spine, his breath catching in his throat. "Your hand-!" Kevin yelps but Edd only smirks before bodily moving him out of his lap. He releases a very embarrassing noise as he goes and Edd grins at him teasingly but doesn't poke any fun.

Edd presses Kevin back against the pillows, gentle but firm, like a reminder of his strength, bowing over him. For a moment everything seems to grow still, Kevin's breath trapped in his chest as Edd looks down at him through his thick lashes. The smaller boy tilts his chin up ever so slightly, a silent invitation for a kiss, but Edd blinks and draws away, breaking the spell.

Kevin is left breathless and staring as Edd hurries to the bathroom, shooting him a weak pout as he goes.

Eddward Vincent just picked him up as if he weighed nothing and it might have been the sexiest moment in Kevin's life, as simple as the act was.

The redhead suddenly feels very bare, only in Edd's t shirt and gym shorts, and hurries to get under the covers. He's hyperaware of the fabric against his skin: the rich sheets, the soft cotton of Edd's shirt and the slick, tough fabric of the shorts. He's literally wrapped up in Edd's scent, surrounded by what he touches and wears every day.

 _I'm all alone with Edd_ , he thinks helplessly and heat coils in his abdomen because _he's all alone with Edd_ \- Jesus, _all alone_ \- and he's in his clothes and he wants to feel Edd's skin and kiss his lips and - fuck. Kevin squirms weakly and tries to ignore the heat.

He takes in deep, gulping breaths of Edd's scent and even buries his head in the pillows. The scent of a person can never quite be described but Edd's is pleasant, it's not too strong or harsh yet still _there_. And god, it's so, so nice. Lovely and rich and fuck, fuck, _fuck_ , he's getting pathetically worked up.

Kevin is starting to understand Double D's fascination with smell and sex and all that crap he thought was super weird just a while ago is now all too applicable.

The boy, much to his embarrassment, is half hard all over again and he can't get it to go down, even by thinking of Sarah or trash or being punched in the gut.

Down the hall, the thrum of water hitting tile can be heard. Edd is in there, beautiful and elegant as always, removing his shirt… his pants… his-

 _Jesus H. Christ_ , Kevin groans and tries to suffocate himself in Edd's plush, disgustingly expensive pillows to no avail. The image of Edd, lithe and absolutely perfect from head to toe, all smooth lines of muscle and sharp angles, pops back into Kevin's head.

It's hard to believe it was Wednesday when all of this started, when Kevin first stole Double D's hat in the locker room and got an eyeful of Edd buck naked _aaand_ this train of thought is not helping his dick at all. Moving on.

It was only Wednesday when this started. Only Thursday when they started "dating" and they only actually began dating last _night_. Holy shit. It already feels like days.

Kevin knows so much about Edd now: about his family, his past, his relationships, his home. But there's so much he doesn't know.

What college is he going to? Kevin was accepted by the state college not 30 minutes away, known for its science and engineering programs. It's not Harvard but it's certainly prestigious; he even received a small scholarship. Edd is probably going somewhere like MIT or Stanford, like the rich genius he is.

Hell, Kevin can't even tell you his favorite color. Maybe it's red - he always seems to be wearing red - or blue like his sheets, like his beautiful eyes-

He likes fish, Kevin knows that, and eats very healthy. That's probably because he needs to stay in shape for sports.

Oh, and his coach mentioned him going to the _Olympics_.

Kevin sighs, stomach now upset; he wonders if he's already holding Edd back in some way. He's so amazing, so talented. Kevin made out with him instead of working on their science fair project just last night and while it doesn't seem like a lot it's still keeping him from success. Guilt tumbles over in Kevin's stomach and he buries his face in the pillows.

He's so below Edd in every way it's not even funny. Kevin isn't poor but his family always seems to be in need of more money, just a little short, and when they manage to save up then something happens and the air conditioning needs to be replaced, there's a problem with his mother's car, and on and on. Then there's Edd with his nice clothes, nice car, nice everything. He has so much money, wants for nothing, can Kevin actually provide anything for him?

Edd is top of his class, captain of the swim team, and absolutely gorgeous. Kevin is a good student but nothing special, part of Quiz Bowl but still not that great, and far from attractive.

Edd has insanely perfect skin, eyes so blue it's unreal, and a body like a fucking god. He's practically the perfect man. It's honestly horrible. It's unreal and it makes Kevin wonder how they ended up here in the first place.

Kevin is no match for him in any way.

When Edd returns his hair is slightly fluffy from being blown dry and his chest is bare as the only thing he's wearing is a pair of black gym shorts, not helping the state of Kevin's boner crisis (which was almost solved by his wandering thoughts, so thanks a lot, Edd). His body is fucking perfect: skin a lovely honey color, the wicked V of his Apollo's belt makes Kevin's throat tight, and his elegant swimmer's build. Then he smiles at Kevin, warm and a little dorky and so sincere…

"Where are you going to college?" Kevin asks in a rush. Maybe he's tipsier than he thought.

Edd raises a brow but his smile only grows. "Stanford."

" _Shiiit_ …" the boy murmurs in awe. "Of course."

That actually gets Edd to laugh. "What about you? MIT?"

Kevin stares at him like a deer in headlights and he frowns.

"What's wrong? Are you," he scrunches his nose in disgust, "not going to college? Someone of your caliber should-"

"I am! I just- uh, I'm not that smart or that rich."

Edd barks out a shocked laugh. "Kevin, you're fifth in our class," he says as if it's the answer to everything.

"How do you even know that?" he mumbles and drags the sheets up and over his mouth.

"We were Junior Marshals last year, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Junior Marshals…"

The top ten students of the Junior class always help out with graduation. It had been a pretty… well, strange affair. There was Edd and Kevin of course, then Jacob Messer (second in the class, openly gay and super sweet to everyone), Serena Webb (third, weird hippie yet very sassy and constantly talking about Astrology - she told Kevin he's an Aries and "your moon is in Libra so we'll get along; I'm an Aquarian"), Cara Jones (fourth, captain of the girl's soccer team and huge flirt - she pinched Edd's ass, he recalls, and the boy had turned on her so fast everyone in the room held their breath, convinced he was going to hit her, but he just stared her down with those fierce eyes until she slinked away; she never even spoke to him again, let alone touched him), Hunter Biggs (sixth, aka Bigg Boy, football player and yet another of Kevin's harassers who made the most of their time together by tripping the boy and knocking him around), Aliyah Martin (seventh, lacrosse player so strong she could snap even Bigg Boy in two), Richard Lau (eighth, never speaks under any circumstances and is apparently not straight, if what Edd said about him dating Johnny is true), Maria Santiago (ninth, another school heartthrob and flirt - she thankfully did not pinch Edd's ass but did bat her lashes at him a lot), and finally Haley Cane (tenth, social justice warrior and lone wolf who apparently practices witchcraft - she once offered to make Kevin a protection spell saying "just burn the candle and they'll leave you alone" but he politely turned her down).

It was quite hellish and Kevin generally tries to forget about it.

"That was really… a terrible time," Edd mutters. "But that one instance when you stood up because one of the seniors was on the railing-"

"Oh god," Kevin groans, "you heard about that?"

"I saw it!" he laughs.

One of the seniors had been standing on the railing of the stairs as the entire Senior class and Junior Marshals were waiting in line to continue on the to the stage down the hall and the dumbass began to tip over, yelling and making a ruckus, so Kevin grabbed him by the back of his pants (Spongebob boxers and all) and dragged him down in one of his more bold moments.

"It was another moment in which I found myself falling for you."

Kevin tries to hide his face in the sheets and chooses to bring up something else. "I thought you were going to kill Cara Jones when she pinched your ass."

"I won't lie, I was very, very tempted. Do you remember how she started losing all of her games following that?"

"Yeah, everyone was gossiping about how she was going crazy or something."

"Well, you remember the witch, Haley?"

" _No_ …" he gasps and sits up, too enthralled to be concerned about anything else such as the state of his erection.

Edd smirks, "Yes."

"Holy shit."

"I watched her do it and everything. It was her and Serena Webb, they needed to get into the locker rooms out by the fields and knew I could ask Coach Madison for the keys and…" he shrugs. "I honestly didn't think it was actually going to hurt anyone, I found it more amusing than anything, so I took them out there one day after working on Junior Marshal stuff - Friday, before one of their Saturday games."

"What did they _do_?"

"Haley had an actual voodoo doll and they burned these herbs and that was it. It was actually pretty underwhelming. But… while I'm not a superstitious person it was certainly a very big coincidence that their losing streak began the next day."

"I can't believe that you: perfect student, star athlete and man of science, did that," Kevin laughs.

Edd winks at him. "I am more of a troublemaker than you seem to think."

Kevin scoffs. "No, I hadn't noticed with you running around with Plank and Johnny, the two kids who teamed up to vandalize the school sign junior year."

Edd snorts, lips twisting into a wry smile. "They honestly mean well." His smile fades and his eyes seem to darken, "I know now that they were hurting you and-and I am so, so sorry. If I had known-"

"Hey, stop it. Just make it up to me by keeping them off my back."

Edd nods sharply, refusing to meet his gaze.

"You know, Haley offered to make me a spell to stop my bullies?"

Edd sits on the edge of the bed, shaking his head. "Well… I guess it's good for me she didn't." They're quiet for a moment until Edd finally breaks the silence, "I'm sorry. I… I just keep messing up today, don't I?"

"No," Kevin says gently. "It's okay. It happened, there's no reason to ignore it. It's something we need to… talk about at some point, I guess. We need to talk," he adds firmly and Edd finally snaps his head in Kevin's direction, gaze intense. "I- not-not in a bad way. Just, I was- actually, I was just thinking about how little we actually know about each other."

"Oh," Edd blinks owlishly and nods. "I suppose that's true. Is there something specific you had in mind? Other than college?" he adds with a warm smile.

"Your favorite color…" he mumbles, face flushing.

"Blue," he replies simply.

"Like the pool."

His smile is breathtaking. "Exactly."

"Yours?"

"Red - bright red."

"Like your bike," Edd laughs softly and climbs in bed to sit next to him. "I sort of suspected."

Kevin eyes him for a moment, contemplating if he should voice his thoughts or keep them to himself. "You… wear red a lot…"

Smirking, Edd actually winks at him. "That I do."

"Because of-of _me_?" he chokes out, face flaming.

"Not entirely, no. You see, red has very powerful psychological effects. It stimulates and raises the pulse rate which can create a feeling of 'fight or flight'. I wear red, in part, to intimidate others."

"You're such a dork, holy shit," Kevin snickers. "You use psychology to intimidate others. Holy shit."

Even Edd laughs. "Ah, well, swimming is highly competitive."

"Not to mention the bad boy reputation you have to keep up."

"Oh, yes," he snarks, "because I care about that so much."

Kevin can't help but smile as he takes in the twist to Edd's lips, the way his hair cups his cheek and fans across his forehead. Edd turns to him and jumps slightly when he catches Kevin staring but his eyes crinkle with amusement, his face so warm and open Kevin's chest grows tight. He looks away, smiling shyly.

"You're not religious," Kevin states as it's something he's caught on to.

"An Atheist. I believe in science, what I can see and experience."

"Agnostic," Kevin supplies without needing any prompting. "I believe there could be but…" he trails off with a shrug.

"What do you want to do for a living?"

"Christ, I don't even know anymore… I love robotics - _anything_ involving robotics and making things. It's like every time I learn something new, though, I want to do it. I can't decide."

Edd laughs brightly and Kevin looks at him feeling something twist in his gut - embarrassment, it's embarrassment because Edd, who has his life all put together, is laughing at him and-

"That's part of the reason I fell for you," he says with that beautiful smile and shining eyes. Kevin's lungs seem to seize. "Your curiosity. It's quite lovely. I envy you it, to be honest." His shock must read on his face because Edd frowns, brows furrowing. "What is it?"

"You… you have everything planned out so well… I feel so-" he shakes his head, "inferior, almost. I-I dunno, you're just perfect really." He laughs nervously and scratches the back of his head, "You shouldn't envy anything about me."

"We are of different brands of success. They say opposites attract," Edd murmurs with a sad smile, "and I, someone who has clung to order and reason his whole life, am attracted to you, someone who trusts his gut and doesn't feel that same need to be perfect."

Kevin looks up at him, honestly a little shocked by the sudden analysis of his character. For some reason it reminds him that Edd has wanted him for years, has been watching from afar and using his sharp mind to pick Kevin apart piece by piece. He's torn between discomfort and pleasure.

"If you were to describe me to, like, your friends or something," he mumbles, face burning, "how would you?"

Edd sighs but is smiling crookedly, gazing at Kevin so fondly it tears the boy up inside. "Intelligent in a physical way, a natural way. You understand movement, mathematics, and structure. You also understand people - are emotionally intelligent in a way that cannot be taught. You are highly inquisitive and focused yet also hesitant and…" he takes a breath, eyes flicking away as he tries to come up with the word he's looking for, "humble."

Kevin jolts back slightly, cheeks now a vibrant, cherry red.

"You are not insecure in your intelligence, simply very humble. In other ways you are very unconfident," he murmurs, now gazing at Kevin with soft eyes. "You don't always feel worthy of praise or as if you are good enough though you are so much better than what you receive. You deserve the world…" he adds quietly, so much so that Kevin can hardly hear him over the roaring of blood in his ears.

Edd clears his throat, looking down. "You take very good care of those that you love. Such as Nazz. You are quiet but honest in your affections, unashamed to express love and you do so physically, through touch, service, and gifts. I am aware you were attracted to her perhaps…" he purses his lips, "perhaps as recently as this past month."

Kevin's mouth falls open and he shakes his head weakly. "Wh- _what_?"

Edd raises an eyebrow. "You had a crush on Nazz."

" _What_?"

Edd shoots him a bored look before picking at his nails. "I'm not a fool, Kevin. You two have always been close but when you began offering to help her by fixing her mother's car-"

"How-" Kevin sucks in a sharp breath, eyes wide. "How do you even _know_ about that?"

He rolls his eyes. "She lives down the street from us. I saw the whole thing."

"Oh…"

"The point is: you take care of those you love. I was not trying to attack you or anything."

Kevin shakes his head again, still in shock. "Are you… angry?"

"What? Of course not. You're in a relationship with me now and she is with Marie. Most importantly I trust you not to mention you have shown no signs of still harboring feelings for her."

"Jesus," Kevin mutters and presses his face into his hands. "I was that obvious…?"

"I think it's less than you being 'obvious' and more of me being highly perceptive and focused on the situation."

Kevin sighs and looks up at him to find his brows furrowed to show he's still slightly concerned. "So… this is awkward…"

"Would you like me to continue?" he laughs, cocking his head to the side which shouldn't be as cute as it is.

"No! No, no! I think I've heard enough!"

Edd's face falls somewhat and his eyes drift to the sheets where he's picking at them compulsively. "I'm afraid to ask but how would you describe me?" he murmurs.

Kevin laughs weakly but not unkindly. He somewhat awkwardly slips an arm behind Edd, fingers tugging on the short hairs at the base of his skull gently in an unpracticed show of affection. Edd looks up with wide, shocked eyes as if the touch was the last thing he expected. Kevin's heart can't take this continued assault.

"Well… where do I even begin?" he mumbles. "You're not what you seem. At all. When most people look at you they see someone who has everything anyone could ever want: money, good looks, status, popularity, intelligence, talent…" he shrugs, unable to meet Edd's suddenly intense gaze, instead focusing on his fingers as he traces his fingers over a small mole on Edd's shoulder. "You've had a rough life, been through things no one should, but you've pushed through. That takes strength that most don't have. You've worked hard to get where you are and your family seems to do the same. I mean, my mom once said the most painful thing a person could experience was being away from their kid or to watch their child hurt and they've had to do both, right?"

Edd makes a high, tight noise in the back of his throat and Kevin looks up to find an absolutely horrified look on the boy's face.

Kevin's eyes go wide and he jerks his hand back on instinct. "Oh- shit, Edd- I-I'm sorry! Edd, I-"

Edd doesn't let him finish, instead reaching out to drag him into a tight hug, practically pulling the boy sideways into his lap.

"Edd?" he wheezes, suddenly very guilty and sick to his stomach, but Edd only hugs him tighter and presses his face into the boy's pale neck, cradling Kevin's head.

"I'm sorry," he mumbles against his skin and it shouldn't feel good (also, Edd totally doesn't have a shirt on and Kevin's dick is still up and at 'em, if only barely) but it does. "You just… I thought you believed me to be spoiled and rich…"

"What? _No_. I don't. Maybe before - before I _knew you_ , y'know? But now I see everything. I know, now."

Edd practically whimpers and gives Kevin a little squeeze around the ribs. Unsure of what else to do, Kevin pets his hair, careful and tender.

"I'm sorry for upsetting you…" Kevin mumbles against his head, trying not to peer down the soft expanse of his pale back.

Edd squeezes him again. "You didn't upset me. You made me very happy…"

" _Oh_ … Do you want me to…?"

"Please continue," he whispers in a voice so small Kevin is filled with the sudden urge to pick him up and hold him close as if he weren't twice Kevin's size.

"Okay… Well, I would tell them you can come off as cold or cocky but you're actually very warm and in need of-of _affection_ , I guess. You don't get a lot of affection and you don't really seem like you need it on the outside but you do. You need to be treated like… like a human being," he says and pauses because it's only just now registering just how true it is. He gives him a peck on the cheek now that he's thinking about it. "Everyone puts you up on a pedestal and expects you to be bigger and better all of the time. They don't allow you to be… a kid."

Edd has gone perfectly still but Kevin feels as if he has suddenly discovered the key to _everything_ so he plows on.

"Everyone expects so much of you that they forget you're still just a kid and you need to be cared for and to be told 'thank you' and 'good job' and all of that. Everyone is so used to you being perfect that they forget to tell you how good a job you're doing," he continues vehemently and begins stroking Edd's spine with one hand, dragging his nails across it lightly, as he continues to comb through his hair with the other. He kisses along Edd's shoulder, feeling bold, especially when those piercing blue eyes aren't on him. "God, Edd, in the locker room your face lit up when Coach Madison complimented you and I thought it was because you wanted to go to the Olympics but it wasn't, was it? It's because no one ever tells you how _good_ you are - not the way you need to be told."

Edd's fingers dig into his back and he lets out a muffled sob; Kevin's heart feels like it's being slowly torn straight from his chest. He begins peppering Edd's temple and head with kisses.

"Edd, you're so talented. You're so amazing," he breathes, all of the words now rushing out, as he runs his fingers all the way down to the base of his spine. He kisses his temple, presses his mouth to Edd's ear, "You work so hard all of the time. It's like what I said before: you've been through so much but you still never give up, you always do your best and don't let anything bring you down. It's amazing - you're amazing. You deserve to be told every day how great you are."

"Pumpkin…" he mumbles, clearly embarrassed and squirming slightly.

"You're so brave - the way you stand up to people who are bigger than you, the way you stood up against that bastard today - Edd, you're such an amazing person," he insists breathlessly and presses a kiss to Edd's head. "You're so beautiful - inside and out. You deserve so much. _You're_ the one that deserves the world. Look at me," he directs and pushes at Edd's shoulders weakly. The boy shakes his head sharply but Kevin feels emboldened by his reaction and only pushes harder. "Look at me. It's okay - never alone-"

"Kevin…" he growls pathetically and tries to hold Kevin still but the boy wriggles in hopes of drawing away, getting free enough to twist around, bracing himself on Edd's shoulders to move his leg in the tight space between them, and slide so he's practically straddling Edd. But when he moves to return, to wrap his arms around Edd and kiss his head and sit in his lap, Edd grabs his hip. Kevin meets his pleading eyes, frowns at the light blush on his cheek, but still curls his leg behind Edd, dropping himself into the boy's lap-

He freezes. "Oh."

Edd stiffens until Kevin thinks he must be literally frozen, eyes like saucers. "It's cool," he chokes out. "Like you said: it's natural."

Suddenly Kevin is shoved from his lap and Edd is stumbling off the bed. He barks out a shocked noise and tries to crawl after him, grabbing at his shorts.

"Edd!" he cries but the boy doesn't leave, only turns his back and hides his face in his hands. "Edd," he sighs. "It's not like we haven't… done this - _fuck_ , I mean- we-we- in the car-," he chokes out helplessly, scrambling to find something to say. "I felt you and you felt _me_ -"

"That was natural," he bites back.

Kevin draws back, jaw clenching. "What? What the _hell_?"

"I… that was natural… we were kissing. Bodies respond…"

"Yeah, okay? I was kissing you now."

"But-"

"And touching your back. Your bare back."

"It wasn't that," he snaps hoarsely.

"I don't understand what's wrong. You got a boner - it fucking happens. It's not even the first time this has happened! What's the problem?"

"I…" he peeks over his shoulder at Kevin, shoulders hunched. "I think it's from…" he gulps.

Kevin licks his lips and reaches out to him. "Come on, get in bed."

Edd stiffly returns to bed and kneels in front of Kevin, not objecting when the boy grasps his elbows but also not uncrossing his arms or meeting Kevin's eyes.

"Is it because of what happened today? Did the… Eddy…"

"No," he croaks. "Not at all."

Kevin takes a deep breath and rubs the back of his neck nervously. "Hey, would you… would you like to - cuddle?" he coughs. "Or whatever you want to call it. While we talk."

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"What the fuck? I don't care. You didn't care earlier today! In the car! And… I was hard, like, five minutes ago, if that makes you feel any better," he mutters embarrassedly.

Edd peeks at him curiously. "What? Why?"

Kevin blushes furiously. "Um," he shrugs, throat clicking as he swallows, "your bed smells nice and we're here, alone, and… I was thinking about you. Being-" he coughs again, "naked."

Edd's cheeks are red but he actually snorts, lips pressed together as if to hold back a smile. "Oh… Well, that's different."

Kevin scoffs. "What? How?"

"I…" he looks away, cheeks darkening further. "I believe… your words may have done this to me." Kevin blinks at him and he immediately scowls, ducking his head. "I don't know. This has never happened before. I-I- the way you- I don't know," he snaps, obviously frustrated with himself. "No one has spoken of me in such a manner and- you- you were touching me like you meant it, like you really want me-"

"Of-of course! I mean, I wouldn't date you if I didn't want you."

Edd's neck visibly strains and his hands jerk down to cover his crotch. "I'm so sorry about this. If you wish I can set up the guest room-"

"Do you want me to give you a handjob?" Kevin asks in a quiet rush.

Edd's eyes are fucking _huge_. " _What_?"

"I-I mean- we just started dating and I've never done it before but- like, I-I'd like to- if you'd like to! Only if you'd like to! Uhm, uh, I mean - you don't have to return it! I don't mind! Seriously it would just be for-"

"You're drunk," Edd snaps and rears back, horror dawning on his face. "You wanted to go slower in the car-"

Kevin, jaw set, grabs Edd's wrist and drags him back in. "I am not drunk. I had one beer. It's been at least an hour. I'm fine. And I want to do this. Just like you said: I wanted to go slower _in the car_. We were out in the open and it was out of nowhere. Now-" his voice cracks and his cheeks burn even hotter, "I-I feel safe here, okay? If- this is the first time and it's not like- it's not like I've never done this before just because I didn't have the chance - it's because I never really wanted to or I wasn't ready. I," he gulps, voice softening, "I want to. It feels right."

Edd stares at him for a moment. Kevin realizes he's still gripping his wrist and drops it with an awkward smile.

"Could we start smaller?" Edd finally chokes out.

Kevin freezes for a moment, mouth hanging open, completely shocked because a part of him didn't believe he'd ever agree. "'Smaller'?"

"We could…" Edd's voice cracks and he looks away. "Uh… frot. Frottage."

"You mean… like, dry humping…?"

Edd's blush spreads all the way to his ears and he looks absolutely mortified. "Well… yes."

"Uh… I-I hate to bring this up-"

"No- if you need something please don't hesitate to ask."

Kevin licks his lips, forcing himself to lock eyes with Edd. "This is still sort of… sudden and I couldn't live with myself if I did something- I just- Are you _comfortable_ with this?"

Edd blinks at him, shocked. "What?"

"I mean - shit, it's just - you've had a very bad experience with… fuck, what happened to you wasn't even sex I just mean-"

"You have been so good to me, Kevin," he breaks in gently and finally reaches out to him, cupping his face in his hands. "I trust you. You-you let me touch you and you reciprocate my affection and-and you've never ridiculed or mocked me for my needs. I… I trust you. And, this may sound strange, but your size makes me feel safer, too…" He winces, "Okay, that came out wrong-"

"It's okay. You could snap me like a twig if you needed to, I get it," he murmurs and shuffles closer, bracing himself on Edd's shoulders. Edd's broad hands slide from his face, down his throat- Kevin sucks in a breath, shuddering and Edd looks at him with wonder, like he's the most beautiful thing Edd has ever seen. He hesitantly meets his eyes and it's like a shock to his heart, a shiver trailing down his spine. He's able to watch as Edd's pupils grow with his desire and if that's not the most thrilling thing he's ever experienced he doesn't know what is.

"The dilation of a person's pupils is a signal of stimulation and attraction," Edd nearly whispers.

"Talk dirty to me," Kevin croaks.

Edd's tongue flickers across his lips and Kevin's stomach flips. "I'm sorry. I'm nervous."

"It's okay. So am I…"

"My pupils…?"

"Yeah…"

"So 're yours."

"I can imagine…"

That shocks a nervous laugh out of Kevin. Edd's tense expression melts into a small smile, his expression tender; Kevin's stomach flips again. "You're sure?"

"Yes. I'm sure. Are you?"

"Yes."

"If I do something you don't like, please don't hesitate to stop me," Kevin tells him. "Like, even if you need to just shove me off the fucking bed, _do it_. I won't be upset. I would want you to, to be safe and I would hate myself for doing something like that to you."

"Okay… but the same goes for you… I know I said not to lay a hand on me again but of course you can push me away. All you need to do is say 'no' and I will stop immediately, but I understand your initial response may be physical."

"O-okay…" he murmurs breathlessly, heart picking up speed in his chest.

"And… may I… lead?"

Kevin snorts. "You want to be on top or whatever?"

"Yeah, I do. I don't want to be… pinned down."

Guilt twists in his gut. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't be. Kevin, you have nothing to apologize for," he says firmly. "Is it okay?"

"Fuck, yeah - of course. That-that sounds hot."

Edd blushes like mad. "I'm-I'm glad?"

Kevin can't help but laugh at that, tipping forward in order to press a quick kiss to Edd's lips, feeling his soft skin, brushing his own lips across his cheek. "So… you want to?"

"Very much so. Do you?"

"Definitely."

"Frottage, I will… top, and… is it alright if I remain in my shorts?"

"Uh-huh."

"But I would like it if you removed your shirt."

Kevin smiles at him lopsidedly and draws back, sighing softly as Edd's hands ghost down his chest to rest on his hips. He tugs it off hastily, not caring if he seems like an eager virgin, and tosses it into the floor. "Better?"

Edd's blue eyes flicker across the bared skin. "Much…" he breathes. "And… if you would like to take the rest off, I wouldn't mind, I just… I'm not sure I'm ready to do that myself."

"How about we start like this?"

"Sounds good to me."

Edd can't seem to take his eyes off his skin, licking his lips and shifting slightly. "I cannot have hickeys. Due to swimming."

Kevin feels lightheaded. Does that mean he's thinking about giving Kevin hickeys? Christ, of course he is - this is Eddward, the kid who puts fucking labels on everything.

"Ok-ay," he rasps and flinches when his voice cracks. "I would prefer not to have them, at least not anywhere they're obvious… Like, not on my neck but you can-can give me some other places…"

Edd takes a deep breath through his nose and heat seems to trickle from Kevin's chest into the pit of his stomach. He just about shuts down when Edd drags his teeth over his bottom lip and whispers, "I would like that."

"I would too," he murmurs, fidgeting under Edd's intense gaze, shocked by how true that statement really is. "Do you like to have your… your-" he motions to his chest awkwardly.

Edd quirks a brow at him, small smirk curling his lips. "My nipples? I don't really know."

"It never did anything for me," he mumbles, face burning, "until the other day when you accidentally touched one. So, um, maybe it's different with someone else?"

Edd chuckles and grins at the memory of Kevin's little whimper. "We can experiment."

Kevin can't help but laugh. "Even sex is an experiment to Eddward Vincent."

Edd laughs softly. "Of course."

"Uh… would you like me to keep talking through it? Like, the way I was."

Edd gulps and looks away. "You don't have to-"

"I would like to if, um, could you like…" he takes in a deep breath and squirms awkwardly. "I sort of… like when you picked me up."

Edd raises his eyebrows. "Oh?"

"Ye-ah. I- it's weird but-"

"No! No, it's okay. Maybe… maybe sometime I could…" he licks his lips, very slowly dragging his tongue across his bottom lip, and looks at him through his thick lashes, "hold you up against the wall?"

Kevin nearly falls off the bed when he jerks back. "I- uh- I- ye-yeah, I would- yeah," he sputters. "So-sorry, just- yes. Yes. I'd like that."

Edd grins at him wolfishly. "I would too…"

"Oh my god, uh, yeah… holy shit," he mumbles, ducking his head to rub at the back of his neck. His cock is so hard it's honestly embarrassing. "Uh… okay, so… is there anything else we need to talk about? Frottage, you'll top. We're keeping our pants on. No hickeys on you but you can give me some. We're going to see about nipples. If anyone says no we'll stop immediately. Sometime you're going to-to pin me to the wall, and I'm going to keep talking… Is that everything?"

Edd laughs nervously and rubs his jaw. "I… I guess? Oh, if-if you're- um, just don't call me names," he mumbles, suddenly embarrassed. "Don't call me Double D or-or anything humiliating…"

Kevin's heart aches for him. He reaches out to cup his cheek in his hand and leans in to give him a quick kiss. "Of course not."

"Thank you. Uh, also, please don't make fun of me or anything I might do or say."

"I'd never."

He heaves a sigh of relief and nuzzles into his palm. "Can I speak to you in French?"

Kevin laughs. "Yeah, sure."

"Okay," he smiles, eyes warm. "Please tell me what you like, while we're doing this."

"Tell me, too. And if there's anything you don't like."

"Thank you…" he breathes and kisses the boy's pale palm. "Same goes for you. Would you like to start with kissing?"

"Mm, I'd like that," he whispers, heart picking up speed.

"Ah, I just thought of one more thing. May I, perhaps, touch you under your shorts? I-I would not remove them just…" he gulps, blush creeping down his chest. "I would like to feel you."

"Okay… uhm, but I can't touch you? I mean, that's okay, I just want to make sure."

"I… Can we just see where it goes?"

"Uh-huh, that's okay… Yeah, you can… you can touch me."

Edd licks his lips, eyes roving over Kevin once more. "You're beautiful…"

Kevin gulps and squirms, suddenly embarrassed to be shirtless next to beautiful, muscular Edd. "Hardly."

"Gorgeous," Edd insists and rises to his knees before shifting closer, looming over Kevin with his eyes dark and lips parted. "Tell me if you don't like this."

"O-okay…"

Edd's hands, strong and warm, lock around his hips and the taller boy picks him up with ease, drawing him to his knees as well then further, like he's nothing more than a doll. Kevin gasps, stomach swooping as he clutches at Edd's shoulders. Edd bites his lips, looking at Kevin like he wants to eat him up. "You're so small…"

Kevin blushes and looks away. "You like it though, right?"

He hums softly and draws Kevin closer, tilting his head up to kiss his lips. "Love it. I think I'll enjoy being able to pick you up, too…"

Edd turns slightly and sets Kevin down in the center of the bed, so, so gentle yet strong it makes pleasure curl in his stomach. Kevin feels protected and precious, being held like this, and it's honestly a shock. He never thought he'd like to be with someone so much more dominant and bigger in every way but here he is, enjoying the contrast of his thin arms and Edd's strong, muscular ones as they are stretched out side by side.

Edd kneels over him, shins bracketing his thighs. His hands smooth up Kevin's chest as he crawls over him, urging him to lay down. Kevin shivers softly, gasping at the feeling of Edd's skin against his as the boy's fingers graze his stomach.

"Oh…" he murmurs breathlessly, muscles twitching under Edd's ministrations.

"Good?"

"Yeah…" he croaks, shuddering as Edd bows over him, so big suddenly Kevin feels like he missed something. Every curve of muscle seems larger when he's over Kevin, both of their chests bared so it's clear how very small Kevin is in comparison. Kevin is practically dizzy with pleasure from being surrounded by Edd, being tucked away and safe; he feels protected. Edd ducks his head to kiss Kevin's stomach, right above his bellybutton. "Re-ally nice. I like it…" Hesitant but eager, Kevin cards his fingers through Edd's hair and murmurs, "You're perfect. You deserve the world."

Edd visibly shivers and rests his head against Kevin's breastbone for a moment, hands stilling on his hips. Kevin continues to pet his hair but gives him a moment to ground himself. "Yeah?" he rasps. "I'm doing okay?"

God, he sounds so soft and hopeful that Kevin wants to gather him up and keep him safe. "Perfect - feels so good. To be touched by you."

Edd looks up at him with so much hope in his eyes Kevin could just melt. "May I continue?"

" _God_ \- yes, please," he mutters eagerly and tugs on Edd's hair slightly, guiding him up his body.

Kevin shivers, skin riddled with goosebumps as Edd's hands slide up his sides before settling around his ribs. Edd eagerly kisses Kevin's pale stomach, creating a path from just above his bellybutton to the center of his breastbone. Sucking in a breath, Kevin shifts to hold onto his shoulders.

"Still okay?"

"Yeah," Kevin says quickly, "more than okay."

His thumbs draw circles on his ribs, slowly easing upwards. "May I?"

Cheeks flushed, Kevin squeezes his eyes shut and nods sharply. "Ye-yeah, 's okay."

Edd takes a deep breath and his thumbs very carefully drag across his nipples. Kevin gasps, making this tight, high whimper and his hips stutter upwards. "Holy-"

"Beautiful," Eddward whispers, eyes huge as he takes in Kevin's flushed face and dilated pupils.

He continues, circling the delicate spots, and Kevin's hips thrust in earnest, a hiccuping mewl escaping his lips. He jerks his hand away from Edd and stuffs a knuckle between his teeth in an attempt to silence himself.

"Oh, oh no, please don't…" Edd murmurs gently and stops for a moment to draw Kevin's hand from his lips and back to Edd's shoulder. "I want to hear you."

"Mm," Kevin hums and nods jerkily. "Kay."

"Thank you… Does it feel good then?"

"Yeah, yeah it does- feels really good. But you-"

His hands jerk away and he sits up, eyes wide and fearful. "What's wrong?" he asks breathlessly.

"No! No, no, no!" Kevin cries and reaches out to grasp his wrists. "I'm okay! I was just going to say I want to-to make you feel good, too."

Edd stares down at him for a moment, looking confused and so innocent it's like a punch to the chest. "You could talk some more…" he suggests hesitantly.

Kevin smiles. "Could I try…?" he asks quietly, very slowly reaching out to Edd as to give him a chance to stop him.

Edd bites his lip as he cups his hand around the back of Kevin's, carefully guiding it to his chest, pressing it directly over his heart. Kevin's own heart stutters in his chest as his hand is slid down the smooth plane of Edd's muscle. "Feel free to touch me. If I need you to stop I'll tell you."

Kevin nods and quickly reaches out with his other hand to trace over the lines of muscle on Edd's abdomen. "You're so fucking fit, dude."

That shocks a laugh out of him. "Jeez, don't call me 'dude' while we're having sex," he mutters with a lopsided smile.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry. I forgot about the-"

"Hush, just keep touching me."

Kevin licks his lips and continues, carefully drifting down to the waist of Edd's shorts where he traces the edge, gently pets through the curls of dark hair that trail down from his bellybutton. Edd releases a shuddering sigh, chin tucked so he can watch with lidded eyes. The look on his face is fucking erotic: intense yet dazed with pleasure; Kevin can't believe Eddward Vincent is looking at _him_ like _that_.

The redhead takes a deep breath and brushes his hands back up Edd's abs, marvelling at the feel of soft skin, the movement of his muscles as he shivers. "You're beautiful. You're so perfect. Perfect in every way."

Edd squeezes his eyes shut and his teeth dig into his lip. "I-I…"

"What do you need…?" he breathes.

"Please keep talking."

"Anything you need. I want to make sure you feel good."

Edd actually keens, soft and sweet, when Kevin's fingers brush his nipples. "Fu-fuck!" he gasps as his hips automatically roll against Kevin's, making the boy's hips stutter upwards, stomach clenching.

This - _this_ is the most erotic moment of Kevin's life, with Eddward Vincent making little noises of pleasure, grabbing his wrists to keep his hands on Edd's skin, physically guiding Kevin's fingers across his nipples himself. Their hips meet, inexperienced and hesitant yet eager, the friction causing the heat in Kevin's stomach to build and his muscles to tighten.

Kevin thinks he could come in his pants any minute.

This beautiful boy is using Kevin for his pleasure and there is something about that which is so sexy he feels as if his head it shutting down.

"Feels ni-ice," Edd whispers.

"You look fucking amazing…" Kevin tells him, completely awed by his pink lips and lidded, fierce eyes. "You look… _gorgeous_ … Holy fuck, Edd… So gorgeous… I'm so fuckin' lucky…"

Edd releases his hands in favor of grasping his hips. Kevin gasps as Edd grinds against him, head falling back as he is overwhelmed by a rush of pleasure. His hands scrabble helplessly, clutching Edd's shoulders and digging in his thick hair. Edd's thrusts are slow, measured, and he stares down at Kevin as if studying him, testing each movement to see how Kevin responds.

"Kiss?" Kevin gasps.

Edd keeps one hand on his hip, holding him just right, as he braces the other over Kevin's shoulder. Their eyes meet and Kevin feels as if he's falling into him, surrounded by Edd's scent, his body.

"You're… _mon monde_ … _es mon monde_ …" he whispers, quiet and warm, laden with emotion; little does he know, he's quickly becoming Kevin's world in turn.

Kevin's eyes sting, his heart swelling. He locks his fingers behind Edd's neck and draws him into a kiss. Edd hums, low and rumbling, and eagerly licks his way into the small boy's mouth, tongue slipping along his teeth, curling with his own. Kevin moans quietly and eagerly wraps his arms around him, clutching him close. Their hips jerk and Edd groans in approval, squeezing his hip before sliding his hand down Kevin's thigh, drawing the boy's leg over his waist. The new angle makes Kevin break the kiss, a pitiful cry escaping his lips, his jaw slack and eyes squeezed shut.

"Beautiful…" Edd mumbles and bites Kevin's bottom lip gently. "Beautiful, _mon coeur_ …"

Kevin bucks his hips when Edd takes his lip between his teeth and sucks. He's making all of these embarrassing, ragged noises while Edd only gasps and groans softly.

"Is-is- you- are you okay?" Kevin barely manages to choke out.

Edd laughs and rests his forehead against Kevin's shoulder. "Better than o-ok-ay."

"'s good," Kevin slurs. "Can you… ah, fuck! 's real good…"

Edd laughs breathlessly. "Good- that's good. I want to-to make sure you enjoy it. Make it nice."

Kevin tugs his hair, drawing him back into a kiss. This time Kevin takes control, tongue teasing across his lips. He's not really thinking when he locks his leg around Edd's waist before hitching his other over his opposite hip to pull him against him. Edd gasps before groaning, low and desperate.

"That-that okay?"

Edd thrusts his hips against Kevin's hard and nips his lip. "Fuckin' perfect… like it a lot…"

"Yeah?" Kevin asks and smiles crookedly into their next kiss.

"Always suspected my little Pumpkin's got a dominant side in there somewhere…"

Kevin bites his lip in retaliation, giggling and tugging on his hair again. "Feels real good… Why weren't we doing this instead of-of all that other bullshit?"

Edd laughs and nuzzles against his cheek, now rolling his hips against Kevin's almost lazily. "I'm… so happy… Never been this happy…"

Kevin gasps quietly, hips stuttering forward. He smooths his hands down Edd's chest somewhat awkwardly due to lack of space, brushing his thumbs across Edd's nipples so his breath hitches. "So glad I stole your hat."

Edd smiles at him and laughs, shaky but so honestly happy it makes heat curl in Kevin's stomach. "So am I." He releases Kevin's hip and teases his fingers up his side so he shivers. "What can I do to make it better?"

Kevin giggles deliriously. "'m really close. If-if you make it any better it will be over."

"'s okay," he mutters and presses messy kisses along Kevin's jaw. "So am I."

Edd ducks his head, shifting his weight to his other arm so he can bow over Kevin's chest, covering his nipple with his mouth. Kevin gasps and threads his fingers through Edd's hair as he mouths at the soft flesh. He can't stop the strained, small noises escaping his throat when Edd thrusts at the same time he carefully rolls Kevin's nipple between his teeth.

"Edd…" he whines before stuffing a knuckle between his teeth once more. Pleasure is beginning to build up in the pit of his stomach to the point that it aches, his head growing light.

"Come - it's okay to come," Edd pants against his damp skin, lips brushing the tender spot. He shifts to the side and catches some of the skin between his teeth, biting and sucking experimentally.

"Edd!" Kevin chokes out, clutching his shoulders, hips snapping forward as he begins to fall apart. He can't hold in the whine building up in his throat and his whole body shakes. Edd is all around him, his scent, his body, his breath, those big, beautiful eyes; it's too much and he loves it. He's making these tiny, choked-out noises as the heat finally snaps, the pleasure crashing through him like a wave.

"Beautiful," Edd croaks, and manages to slide his arms beneath Kevin's bowed back, holding him close and burying his face in the crook of Kevin's neck. He moans softly, thrusts beginning to peter out.

Kevin is wracked with shivers from the aftershocks, body limp and eyelids heavy, but he keeps his arms locked around Edd though he shows no signs of wanting to get up. "Fe-felt so good…" he gasps, voice remarkably tiny and soft. God, he feels so small beneath Edd but it feels good for once, to be so thin and slight. "I… you're okay?"

"Yeah," he mumbles against his skin. "Very okay. Are you? Am I too heavy?"

Kevin immediately tugs Edd until he collapses on top of him entirely, making a huff of air burst from his lips but still worth it. "If you move, I'll kill you."

"Wow. Okay then," he grumbles but actually sounds very pleased.

"Good."

Edd laughs and gives him a tight squeeze, nuzzling against his throat. "We'll need to shower again."

Kevin groans. "Tomorrow."

"Disgusting. I'm not going to allow this cum to dry."

"Just relax for once."

"When your underwear grows stuck to your skin you'll wish we had showered."

Kevin is quiet for a moment, slowly petting his hair. "Would you… want to shower _together_?"

Edd raises his head to give Kevin a blank look. "You… did see me nude…"

"That I did…"

"Maybe… I mean, it's only fair if I see you nude as well."

"That sounds perfectly logical."

"Mhm."

"Very reasonable."

"I thought so too."

"Still can't touch, though, right?"

"Let's just… look…" he says slowly, blue eyes roving across Kevin's bare chest. "If that's okay."

"Let's go do that, then."

"Maybe… do you think you would want to… again?"

"Give me ten minutes," Kevin laughs, "and I'll be ready."

Edd blushes thickly and hides his face in Kevin's shoulder. "We… god, we just had sex."

"Uh…" Kevin gulps, guilt suddenly coiling in his stomach. "Too fast?"

"No. All I can think about is how beautiful you looked… I sort of expected to regret it or feel nervous but…"

"It felt right."

"It felt… freeing… nothing bad happened. It just felt good."

"That's how it's supposed to be," Kevin murmurs, crushing down the nausea the words bring to his stomach, the thoughts of Edd expecting pain or humiliation.

Edd raises himself up once more and peers down at Kevin, face unreadable. Kevin opens his mouth to speak but no words come out, throat tight with the pain he feels for this unbelievable boy. A small smile curls Edd's lips and he ducks his head, kissing Kevin softly. "You're beautiful… Thank you… I wouldn't have wanted it to be anyone else."

Kevin, eyes prickling with tears once more, fists his hands in Edd's hair and kisses him until they're both breathless.

* * *

R&R please!


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